Order! Order in the court of Sup Forums. Appearances please

Order! Order in the court of Sup Forums. Appearances please

Lawfag here, attorney at Lawfag

AMA- and i mean anything

GABE

gabe what?

also bump

cmon Sup Forums, get ur free legal advice. last time we had some great questions about pedofilia, i explained how to legally get a prostitute... wheres all the Sup Forumsros at

Where I work, store manger don't give a fuck, and so are the other managers.
Except for 1 that actually cares for the business.
I work my ass off in that job.
But the employees don't do shit while I still do the jobs of 3 people
Store manager don't see jt
What do?

What is the easiest way to murder somebody and hide the evidence?

What can you do if someone steals something from you but it is an illegal item for you to have

Can you ever restore your right to own a firearm as a felon?

What company do you work for

How can I tell if I'm on a no fly list or other shit I'm being watched for?

sadly nothing. you can complain but at the end of the day they pay you for your time not efforts

very complicated question. i do have a client who would be termed a serial killer. we were talking the other day about another one of my cases (attempted murder) and he made the point that he always drops the gun at the scene to avoid ppl saying i got it from X, i got itf rom Y and it leading back to him that way

you can't do shit. my advice is take the law into your own hands and show that motherfucker why you dont steal from user

Why does it tickle when I touch my peepee?

you can get your case expunged. if its a crime that cant be expunged or expungement denied you'd go for a governer's pardon, in CA its now called a certificate of rehabilitation

not gonna say. i like to be open and honest and talk about some of my cases so it's either be interesting or give you information you dont need. dont be such a faggot

Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

no fucking idea. this is a lawfag ama, not a dhs help line

Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

How badly can you kick someone's ass before it gets illegal and how do you avoid getting in trouble for it

Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

question is why arent you tickling other people's pee-pees

How has this thread not been 404'd...

Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

Well what would constitute being an extremist in the eyes of the state?

Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

What are the laws on "crimes of passion"? If I caught my gf Fucking a nigger,could I kill him and get away with it?

Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

How easy is it to get out of a speeding ticket from a fixed speed camera If you're riding a motorcycle? (Full face helmet and rear facing camera).

Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

MODS!!!!!

Good question. its reasonable force. so if they beat you near to death you can do the same

you cant have someone who takes a swing and then you tear an arm off

greentext
>client wakes up 3am
>gf not in bed, wtf
>checks her daughters room (not his kid), little slut is asleep (i think she's like 9). anyway, calls old lady's phone. no answer
>goes outside, car is in the garage
>"god damn it i know shes fucking someone else"
>random dude pulls up she's in the car
>he goes to the driver's door, dude wont unlock the car, but window is down so he spat on him
>dude gets outta the car screaming ima fuck you up, ima beat the shit outta you

good legal advice: after you fuck some dude's girl, if you're gonna fight him, make sure you can win

>this motehrfucker throws a clean hook at my client, hits him in the temple

now to illustrate my answer to your question user

>my client proceeds to destroy this motherfucker. broke 3 ribs, his nose and literally (it even said it in the police report) picked the dude up and threw him at a wall from about 4 feet back

he got charged with battery due to excessive force. moral of the story is, dont fight some dude if you just fucked his gf and you might lose

i post this image every time i do this ama. fuck you. dont be a pussy

FFFAAAAGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever be constipated for days then when you finally get the shitball out of your ass, you could feel the backed up shit worming its way through your insides?

So your client is free killing people or is he/she locked up?

i dunno. i dont do traffic tickets, but when i get them i usually load the cop/city attorney with so much discovery they just give up

you can also say it wasn't you driving but unless they can see your face and that it doesnt look like you it's a long shot

MODS

not a legal question. really not a question at all

he is not incarcerated. we saved that dude from a literal 250 year sentence. that dude fucking loves us

If I participate in events of a group filed as a terrorist organization what are the repercussions?

mods what. wtf am i doing against the rules? all of these images ive posted enough times that i know its acceptable. literally fuck you for being a faggot bitch

How do you clean up evidence? Any tips?

How likely is someone to be caught and arrested for viewing cp on omegle chat?

usually when you get caught up doing something they'll add on some enhancements (under the moniker of gang ties)

what group?

be a bit more specific. digital, physical, dead body?

unlikely

if you just see it on a webpage/omegle its virtually impossible to prosecute bc chances are they arent gonna find you literally looking at it AND something stored on ram isnt deemed to be in possession of

so youre pretty much good to go, fap away my friend. fap away

A left wing extremist group(not antifa, those retards barely pose a threat)

interesting way to say "we condemned society"

No shit you shitpost butchered kids. You are a sociopath lol

Physical. Bodies would be interesting to know too

Sauce?

left wing extremist? im just curious what you mean, like national socialist?

if i knew the group i could answer with a lot better accuracy. if your in MS13 for example basically everything is doubled for the gang tie

Wowowow, so are you saying if I say it wasn't me and they DONT have a clear photo of my face then it won't matter what riding gear I may or may not have been using at the time as well but simply because they can't make a positive I.D they can't PROVE it was me therefore my right to contest will be honoured and I won't need to pay the fine?

That's crazy yo!
How much did that cost your client?
Also what music do you enjoy?

No, anarchist-communist related and that kinda stuff. >inb4 cuck

sociopath? yes. that is correct, but i like who i am and it is what it is

and what do you want. a lotta ppl like to say theyre bad, but i help ppl do bad things and get them outta trouble to keep doing bad things, i post vids/images of ppl getting mutilated as i answer legal questions

arent i exactly the kind of lawyer youd want? ruthless, aggressive and couldnt care less your level of guilt

Work at startup, when should I file my 83b.. I think it's too late, we're already worth like fn 20m and I think I fucked up.

How easy is it to buy a gun illegally? Do underground black markets exist in 1st world countries?

yea pretty much. but if they cant tell it's not you (say the dude riding the bike was a nigger and you're white) you get off. if it could be you/might be you theyre gonna stick with it

This op

i do criminal law, personal injury, med mal and copyright/contracts. no clue what you should file

does anyone have sauce for this, been looking for ages and haven't found anything. will suck whomevers dick who provides sauce

ok sort of. voluntary manslaughter (heat of passion murder) doesnt excuse the conduct, it lessens the penalty

here's the key- DO NOT WAIT. if your gonna do it, do it the second you catch them. if you wait, walk outta the room, w/e you can get tagged with 2nd or even 1st degree murder

the girl in the meme cheated on her bf and got a good spanking for it

You're a good lawyer, both of your answers sway equally both ways.

Probs easier to pay the fine then risk court fees

lawfag here, i would love the source

you can go to xrares.com for more. they have all the great rape/brutality shit

how illegal would it be to post my ex girlfriend's nudes on her Instagram? (i have her password and she is of legal age)

Dubs demands it. I kill em. Thanks bro

thank you sir. i appreciate that you appreciate my advice

depends the state. id just go ahead and post em. if you post em here i can rate your ex

in fact, bc she's your ex it is your LEGAL obligation to post them titties up for the Sup Forumsros

dont wait

Sup Forums law, you gotta post em here

i live in Canada

How hard is law school and what was your Bachelor's? Considering it myself, a senior currently. Also, how hard is your job itself and what does an average day entail?

I have an 8 year old daughter who is starting to become really hot. Is there any way that I can legally have sex with her in the next 5 years that would ensure I won't go to prison if she gets all blabbity mouthed and tells?

Ok fuck sort for pissing you off, then have there been any cases where you felt like you just wanted to do anything to make the client guilty

>xrares.com
Thanks for this shit vro, I'll have an unlimited supply of this shit famalam

cant hep you

How much explosive compound can you possess before your dog gets shot by the BATFE?

not even gonna answer this. go fuck your kid if that's what you wanna do. i dont judge. other people do, i just dont care

Yep because showing pictures of dead and raped little girls is acceptable fuck you for being so fucked in the head you think this is alright im done with you wank stain

nah, ive had nightmare clients but i always do what's in their best interest (even if they dont like it)

ive defended child molestors before, ill do it again. ill fight for their innocence no matter how many little ginees or pen0rs they play with

What's the weirdest thing you have bought with that sweet lawyer money?

enjoy

Going off of the cp on omegle, so if I were to open a Dropbox/ other file link with cp on it in during the chat, I'd still be fine?

batfe?

i have a case right now, my client had less than 5 m80s and they want him to do 8 EIGHT fucking years. total bullshit

that's a great question

i dont really know about weird but if i ever do drugs they always are delivered to me, ive bought porn on a whim before. thats probably as crazy as it gets. but if oyu have any suggestions im all ears

holy shit this site is a goldmine. thanks man.

legendary thread

Yeah, but how can i do it legally.

What, have we come across the one question Mr. Fancypants Lawyer won't answer? I guess fucking dead bodies is okay, but if it's your 8 year old daughter, well, that's the limit for Atticus Finch here.

no because it is being stored in a permanent space. on ram the court likens it to short term memory, possession isnt permanent. but dropbox is not something being stored on a temporaru medium

glad you can appreciate it my friend

Cool, what was the most high profile case you've worked on

cant say. itd be too easy to identify the celebrities. i actually cant even hint bc its so obvious

celebrities tho get treated waaaaay better than regular ppl. client of mine is a fairly well known celebrity, stole almost 100k from the government. had it turned into a petty theft bc the DA had a wet cunt for him

how can you legally engage in a sexual and incestual relationship with a minor under 12? you suck at trolling dude

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms & Explosives.

Still waiting for answer pl0x

How easy is it to scam a company if you get "injured" at work and how long can you milk it?

Oh come on, if you can get celebrities off from grand theft and murder charges, you can come up with a way for us to fuck our kids. Religious observance and rites protected under the first amendment? Specific states with grandfathered exceptions, southern states (or new hampshire-like states) with dodgy age-of-consent laws or marriage laws?

You're not even trying Saul Goodman.

We all know you are a 12 year old faggot. please kill yourself.

Rip, how about cases that have really funny shit going on in it

So do the chances of getting caught on omegle chat viewing cp go up, or as long as they don't specifically look on omegle should I be fine?