ITT: shit you do that you're pretty sure no one else does

ITT: shit you do that you're pretty sure no one else does

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youtu.be/mTcUzv_Iraw
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis
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That's fucking strange, OP. I fuck my mom's pillow when she's not home

Bump

I'm 23 and I still eat my own snot.

I literally bend over to smell my own farts, kinda like southpark.

aaaannnnd... hmmm... idk I bite my nails and run the broken pieces between my teeth to help me think

Anyone?

Oh and I bite my toenails. Although I'm fairly sure SOMEBODY does these things other than me, maybe not all of them but still.

>to help me think
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

i trim my toe nails with a knife then eat them

Timestamp

>pic related is some creepy pasta

oh thank god. Somebody else fucked up.

I still do the first and third one, the third one is a habit now but its gotten worse for me. I keep fingernails ive bitten off in my pocket and save them for later to chew/run through teeth in the future.

I will occasionally cum straight into my underwear at night and then fall asleep, but since it's all dry by morning i just keep wearing them.

This is why I post here. I'm home.

I like to cum and wait for it to dry, and crumble it up and put it in my aunt's sugar canister.

I eat my own beard and moustache when is long enough to get in my mouth

I cant sleep without a pillow on my ear

same

I like to come in a cup then microwave it until it evaporates

i turn over multiple times in my sleep, but always in the same direction. i end up immobile, wrapped up in my blanket, but im still asleep. i keep spinning, and first the sheets go off the mattress, then the mattress off the bedframe. i wake up in a cocoon of blankets with all my sheets and my mattress on the floor.

post part 2 please

Then what?

after i take out my contacts i eat them

At work and at home..when I'm going to take a shit.. I get some TP and squirt hand soap on to it.. then once I've had a shit and wiped..I'll wipe it on my ass, it's super effective at getting your asshole really clean. Highly recommend..at work it's just tricky to do because you don't want to explain why you're squirting hand soap on toilet paper.

It's also messy, because you sit it on the floor during your shit and it soaks through the paper and on to the floor sometimes..soap dependant

papercutting the tip of my erected penis with this shit making my ears bleed.
youtu.be/mTcUzv_Iraw

I pick my cat up when I get home and let her ride around on my shoulder like a fuzzy little parrot while I do my shit.

when I was just starting puberty I used to take a couple squares of toilet paper and start fapping in them, then thrusting hard to feel how the paper teared, and imagined I was breaking some girl's hymen. Shit was SO cash. Hell, maybe I'll do one now, for old times sake

I use my wifes g-spot stimulator to stimulate my prostate, makes me cum buckets.

19 and suck my thumb. I have OCD and have to touch everything to my penis before eating.

check'd
also you better clean that shit really well, unless you wanna give her some urinal infection

>cum keep foreskin closed
>waggle to toilet and drop it in the toilet
Jelly cut faggots

Also.. This is probably the worst thing I do
>go to store far away from my house
>go there to actually shop
>pretend I don't have good eye sight and can't hear very well
>have store owners sympathetic and shit towards me
>either get helped the best way possible, or a discount because I'm so fragile

Doing it for years, it's not something I'm proud of but can't stop

I do that first one when I grow my hair for the winter

Lol, nice

check'd

When I'm struggling to drop a shit, or it burns I rub my legs, face, and knees like a retard

Kek holy shit user

i have a parrot cat as well, mostly just when sitting

I squat on top of the toilet seat to take a shit. I also like to rub money on my balls before spending it.

Are your cats tiny or are you big guys? My cat is an adult and he's too big to comfortably sit on my shoulder let alone walk around and do shit

everybody does this dude

except I don't "soak" it I just barely wet it and hold it if I'm in public in the stall of course nobody sees me do it though

nah, all normal size here

this

I barked out a loaf recently and wish that I'd had a slow-moving conveyor belt under it so that I could have measured the length. I am convinced it would have exceeded a metre. I was still glowing with pleasure the next morning.

fucking kek at the store thing

and the cum thing is probably bad for your junk dude

>I also like to rub money on my balls before spending it.

nice way to get diseases

i think you should Sup Forumsro. nostalgia faps are the best faps

Genius.
I realise now life can get better.

Bloody Christ....

I skip the knife and just bite them off. My favorite is the big toenail because I can play with it in my teeth until it gets nice and soft.

Being a disabled veteran
>Pull disabled vet card at any chance I get
>I don't shower for weeks and run my finger along my asshole and sniff it hard.
>pick my nose
>I relax with my hand down my pants, with my hand on my dick and balls all the time.
>I cut pieces of hard skin off and chew on it
>cut myself and actually mean it about hating myself
>tell myself i'm going to fix something and don't do it ever
>suck cock.

I scratch between my leg and my nuts and smell the nutty goodness....................

I do that with both my finger and toe nails but I'll save them in my upper lip and bite them every so often if I don't wanna eat them

I do that too. But I don't shower and wait til it's nice and sweaty.

I shit naked

Feel openings in my head with stuff coming out of them
> pic related

I AM GOD!

Make that weird throat sound when you you have that itch between your ear and mouth.

But over the years I have come to find a hell of a lot of other people do that too

But but how do you pee OP? you leave a lil hole for your pee? I NEED ANSWERS

I usually hallucinate when I wake up and I'm not sure why

When i shit my cat jumpa into my pants
i like it and cat is comfy

i eat pizza and potatoes to give me a good solid turd

then after about a week of building up a good solid turd i will invite over a pretty girl

as soon as she gets in the door i guzzle down a 2 liter bottle of coke

after about a half hour it works it's way into my tummy and carbonates my turd

about a half hour later i have the pretty girl sit in a squat position by me

then i unleash that motherfucker from inside me all over her

she looks like a cartoon in an explosion

you know how they are dark all over but the eyes are white and *blink blink*

it is a good time yes!

protip: don't eat curry, curry don't make a good turd for you to carbonate!

If I'm bored and on my own sometimes I use my child like imagination and pretend I'm in some sort of situation, I will play different 'characters' and everything.

With few exceptions I only fap sitting on the floor outside the shower when it's running, I have to be sitting on the mat and a Towel and in my dressing gown.

I like to run a bath, then as it's running, lie on the floor or sit on the chair and go to sleep, the noise of the water makes me tired.

>If I'm bored and on my own sometimes I use my child like imagination and pretend I'm in some sort of situation, I will play different 'characters' and everything.

multiple personality disorder

Or having an imagination and being bored?

Just remembered one as I literally just got one as I finished last post.
When I get a nose bleed I like to go to the bathroom and let it drip everywhere, fill the sink and toilet, get it on the floor. Then rub it all over my face and shout someone in shouting for help and make it look like it's some major Injury, then laugh about it when they panic

I always imagine someone i know is "watching" what i do with music and shit. Like sitting alone outside in the rain with some sad music playing, ill imagine my ex gf will just look into my life through her thoughts and see me idk its super complex and strange ive been doing it for years and i seriously enjoy doing it. Anyone else??

lol wtf man?

that is awesome, but really fucked up!

holy shit i do this with my nails

Fucking losers.

Sick fuck

Never had any problems so far and I've been doing it for years.

Like every "just girly things" post ever
Kys normie

don't think this is too far out there but i take a shower after literally every time i shit, and also just take them if im feeling too hot/cold. this results in like 3-4 showers a day lasting anywhere fromm 20-40 minuets each. any of you do something similar?

when i smoked i would rub my dick onto a few of the cigarettes and carry two packs around, so if anyone bummed a smoke id give them those ones

Then I go on living my life

me also

I'm gona try that

>put finger in butthole
>smell it

yeah mate, all the time. If i shit, i shower. my boss knows this so i just go home if i want.

same

suck my cock user

I lift my legs when im about to cum and i keep beating my meat so i orgasm without ejaculating

that sounds dope

it's not dope, they're nightmares

ohh damn, thats pretty cool of him. i mean at this point i think its like an ocd thing, for me at least

kek'd

Sleep paralysis I guess. If it happens regularly and you don't like it, see a doctor. It's not harmful though.

does that work?

you are scared even if you know that its not real?

I occasionally hallucinate when I wake up in the middle of the night really tired. I usually see things like a figure in the corner of the room or a floating shape near the ceiling. Wakes me up pretty good.

After I take a shower I fart in a towel then smell it

Have done the same, more often recently

Obviously it's an hallucination

It's actually not really about lifting the legs. If you tense your PC muscle duringnorgasm you don't ejaculate. If you're wondering, that's the muscle you use to press out the last drops of piss.

I don't know it's not real, I'm half asleep
yeah that sounds about right

I've experienced this. Also feeling someone sitting on my back but can't move.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

In the car, if I don't occupy my mind with something else, I will count every permanent, stationary man made object I pass mounted on or in the ground in groups of five. Then I'll count each group again in every possible order, so I'll go 12345, 25314, 41352, 14253, etc. until I do every permutation.

This little game has gotten more and more complicated since I was a little kid, these are only the current rules

why is the cum-in-foreskin-until-the-toilet thing is bad?

I wear a diaper in bed. Perforated the diaper in order to insert a hose. At both ends of the hose there are breathing masks. One mask goes in the diaper over my butt hole. Other mask goes on my face.
I fart and fap like this.

Fuck man. The spiders. The shadows. It's fucked up

...

I used to piss in a corner of my room whenever I didn't want to go downstairs to the bathroom at night.