Met a girl on Omegle about 3 years ago

>Met a girl on Omegle about 3 years ago
>Hot as fuck Brazilian, we hit it off and we begin Skyping
>She was a foreign exchange student to the US, excelent English, English teacher AND interior designer
> Find out that I was one of many guys she was skyping with at the time
>whatever.jpg, we aren't in a relationship or anything
>At our peak, we were skyping each other for 3-4 hours a day, 3-4 days a week
>Means a lot to me because I'm a depressedfag and I was bummed about living at home at 21 (Still do and 24 lol) and she was living at home at 2, also depressed about my shitty life in general
> We develop deep feelings for each other, but know it will never work out because of the distance
>Tells me she loves me, all the standard faire, I tell her I love her as well, cont.

Pic is her BTW

25*
>We enter this weird stage in our "relationship" where she would still tell me about these things, but talk about other guys as well, nothing explicitly sexual, but implies sexual relations.
>Feel awkward as fuck because there is no agreement to not see other people because no official relationship despite these feelings
>She knows a friend in the airlines, and gets reduced airfare and travels quite frequently to Canada, US, and other South American countries
>Find out through discussions with her, that she basically meets up with dudes she met online and fucks them assumedly, although she never implicitly states that.
Cont.

go on...

>Begin to feel horrible and less emotionally attached to her, but still love her
>Find out through further discussions she basically is attracted to anyone, including nignogs
>Oh shit, she's a coal burner
>After she tells me this, she apparently gets more comfortable with me, starts to occasionally act black, not full on gangster nig nog, but head bobing to music etc.
>Fucking hate this
>We get into many heated arguments about the situation, and she eventually says "I'd rather be with a black guy than you."
>worldshattered.exe
>From that point on, I felt probably about a 2/10-1/10 the emotional connection I felt for her initially, but hang on because, ya know, I'm a faggot

cont.

Idk dis feels like bait

ye abandon thread

>Backtracking a bit because I'm bad at this, she was probably the most positive person I have ever met, encouraging me constantly, telling me I was beautiful, etc.
>This was important to me because I was working at a fast food restaurant at the time, and felt inferior to every human being at the time (Still feel this way lol)
>Gives me additional reason to hang on to the "relationship", despite hatred of nig nog headbobing and that comment she made.
>She later on told me she didn't mean it, and that she was just mad and knew it would get to me
>The later being correct, the former, yeah right bitch, oh how the truth comes out when you're angry
>Despite her apologies and positivist, I begin to fume at work (privately) while making shitty sandwiches at the notion that she fucked niggers and said that to me, but yet I still loved her, and she was still a positive influence in my life
>mid does not computer combating emotions

Where does she lives now?

>lol
Can you please stop being a fucking retard?

mind*

God damn I'm bad at typing on this mechanical keyboard, Silent Cherry MX reds: Good for gaming, shit for typing

Anyhow:

>As I was saying, in my mind, I was just spazzing out, because half of me wanted to just tell the nigger lover to get fucked, the other half of me loved the shit out of her, and this side was not helped by the fact she would always say she would want to have kids with me in a heartbeat.
>TFW actually pretty handsome, but chubby and a retarded autist, depressed 4channer, dat wasted potential
>After about 2 to 3 weeks of fuming about this while watching porn, I get these urges (I had/have porn addiction/wank addiction, it's how I deal with depression, that and eating lol and she knew this as well)

still waiting for the description of how exactly this has been positive for you.

Also waiting for description of how much money you've been sending her

what happened at the end?

it's funny op cos you were a nigger lover lover

Dude...an infant headbobs when you play music to him. Your Sup Forums nigger sensor is failing hard.

>Reading a greentext on b about a guy jealous of his internet not-girlfriend flying around the continent to fuck niggers she meets online but hasn't flown to fuck him and expecting him not to be retarded

You might be autistic yourself, user.

Sorry about that xD

Still in Brazil, hold on fag, I'm getting to it

>Well, since I absolutely refused to let her go and still felt this absolute hatred for nig nog acting shit, I start to get the urge to have her cuck me.
> I try to push these urges in the back of my mind, but they keep getting stronger, to the point where I just accept them rather than let her go
>Never tell her about them
> Things begin to cool off, and she eventually opens back up to me.
>She starts to tall me about all these sexual desires that she has, actually directs most of them towards me, but also tells me she wants to fuck a girl, etc.
>She asks me if I would ever let a guy suck my dick
>OH LAWD
>As I have stated, been addicted to porn, so I was at the point where I'm jerking it to traps, gay porn as well, but also fap to women.
>Sidenote: This shit doesn't make sense to me as I am not attracted to dudes IRL, but maybe a hot trap. Also, for those of you thinking otherwise, yes, traps are gay, and yes I guess I'm a faggot by extension
>Ask her if she would ever fuck a tranny, gives me a disgusted look and says fuck no
>WTF bitch, you fuck niggers and are implying you'd like to have a 3 way with me and my fantasy is wrong?
>Feel bad on so many levels because of the cuck thing, and increasingly fucked up fantasies with her, also the realization that may sexual fantasies are being warped by porn and my complicated feelings about this girl.

Goddammit, get to the part where she's really a post op he so I can laugh

>Still in Brazil

which state on brazil faggot?

this is just depressing
I want to hear the end
I wish you would just meet a girl IRL.
I think you feel insecure, lack confidence and are probably ugly irl.

Man you just have to fuck another women, and if you don't earn it, ylu have to tell her that you are currently fucking 2 workmates or whatever. Also show less interest. When she ask you what happens and argue about you fucking somebody else you answer all your feelings about her bitchness

this user know about things

Just general encouragement really. No money

Lol didn't expect you on here, I will address this hypocrisy, also, this story does not leave Sup Forums. Also, nice to see you can communicate with me on the chan but not IRL :/

>Anyways, thing start to devolve into this very odd thing where I like to keep her around for the sexual fantasy bit, and nothing else.
>Fights start to happen more frequently, I feel increasingly fucked up.
>Never really had a hatred of blacks or this cuck fantasy shit before meeting this girl.
>Eventually realize the gravity of the situation and the pro definitely outweigh the cons, even though the pros will be hard to find elsewhere.
>Stop communicating with her, block her from all social media, Skype etc.
>still emotionally scarred about the whole scenario, particularly the IR cuck shit, so my mind rationalizes that I like black women, and convey this amongst my friends and family, so that way I try to trick myself into thinking it was no big deal she was with black dudes.
>Cuck fantasies dont go away
>Oh boy this is my new thing I got to wank to now I guess
This was over a year ago, but cont.

this is fucked up

If you didnt finish it by now thats it. I am closing the thread. See ya OP, good luck.

dont give up buddy. I used to work such jobs as well. I have lots of money know. Enough to be financially independent (as in- if I don't wagecuck I can still live pretty ok). I treat help and regular shitjob workers with utmost respect, being extremelly friendly to them and encouraging them.

>I have messaged her once on Facebook despite blocking her a year ago this last Christmas, with just a general thanks for the memories have a merry Christmas type deal, feeling festive I guess I dunno, maybe just trying to get over her
>Messages me back basically the same thing
>Trying this method doesn't work
>Still fapping to porn and eating to cope with mental and emotional problem, weigh almost 200lb. right now, and I'm only 5'9 max
>Fap because I have no confidence
>Fap because I literally can't focus on anything for too long, even things I used to enjoy, which depressses me further, and people think ADD is a cringy meme disease when really it's life altering and everyone just laughs it off or doesn't understand, hell I have it and don''t understand it
>This disease/disorder caused me to fail college, dispite trying my hardest
>Everyone thinks I'm a failure
>Fap because I have no money for treatment, or not even a good friend to talk about it to
>Fap because I know this should be the prime of my life, and I also have dreams of traveling Europe, but have difficulty comprehending basic things most of the time because of difficulty focusing on what's being said and processing it
>But more on my situation with the girl,

Sorry it's taking too long to type, I'm just really jittery as this is a lot of shit coming about I have never told a soul

Wow the faggot actually listened to this

lurking with morbid curiosity

continue faggot. dont leave me hanging. I want to hear how u transitioned to sissy cuck weeb faggot.

Thanks for your encouragement pal

>Start to fap to listings on craigslist because I have only lost my virginity to a 6/10 girl at the restaurant I used to work at and her pussy smelt rancid haven't been laid in ages
>Scared of pussy now, although I still fap to women
>Anyhow fap to shit on CL becaus it seems more "real" and fapping to porn is getting old, but still do it anywqays all the time
>Fap to everything imaginable M4M, M4W, T4M, W4W, etc.
>Fuck my life
>Make listings on all causual encounters boards including m4m although I take it down after I wank, just to get the thrill
>Never let porn do this to you kids
>Constantly think of this girl, prior fantasies
>Make a new Skype account and send her without my name, info, and whatnot.
>Ask her to cuck me and send pics of her fucking other guys, what they did to her, how she liked it
>1/2 of me is like NONONONOOONO
>Do it anyways, she hasn't replied yet.
May actually grow a pair of balls and ask her from my main,, named account against my better judgement

She's from Sao Paulo btw

Dude. Stop fucking wanking. Stop talking to bitches on the internet. Do push ups. Instead of beating your chafed little chorizo like it owes you money, do something about your overall confidence. Get in shape. Start working out, doing push ups, going for walks or something. Read. Better yourself. Grow. Make some positive changes to your lifestyle. That's the only way you're ever going to get your life back on track, and the way you'll get your psychological state to stabilize enough to start working on it. Stop watching porn. Get off of Sup Forums. Go to a job search agency or something, as long as it gets you out of the house.

And stop using words like traumatized to describe yourself. You're not some fragile, unique snowflake, catching the light as you gracefully fall to earth, you're just a sad sack of shit that has chosen to be a sad sack of shit. The day you choose to be something else is the day you cease to be a sad sack of shit.

>She's from Sao Paulo btw

Fuck yeah do you know the city she lives too?

Your advice is 100% on point, and I actually know it's what I have to do, which is the fucked up part. Regardless of this, the main reason I'm a basement dweller is because of the lack of focus like I said. Dude, it's really bad. I remember one time a manager told me to fill a up with ice and I literally couldn't comprehend what he was asking of me for a solid 15 seconds, so you can imagine this complicates things a bit, and makes me not want to interact with other people. people are generally really shitty to be around, and I get nervous as hell, always thinking someone will speak to me, and I won't get what they're saying becasue of these ADD "Spells" happens all the time, and I suspect my mother has it to, based on speaking with her, though she vehemently denies it.

He just said shes from Sao Pablo you stupid fucking retard

Isn't it amazing how some girl who's nothing more than pixels on a screen turned you into a sissy cuck?

Doing whatever it is with your life is obviously working horribly for you, so how about you change it up? Also meet a real woman, use tinder or okcupid and get laid so you can fap to those memories and not boipussy or horses or whatever your numb conscious goes for. Seriously their are so many woman out there its not funny

Uh, I guess it's a state and a ciy? Kinda like Berlin? But yea, she lives in the city. You seem excited about that, why?

I definitely get your point, but I was traumatized, so the wording is very apt. While you do have a point, I think you're riding the "millenials all think they're special snowflakes" bandwagon, and I'm simply not. I am a human being in distress and I need help, and yes I do realize there are people all over the planet that have it much, much worse than I, but that does not invalidate my issues and my right to speak about them candidly.

Its not amazing its pathetic, op is just weak willed and likes to blame his shortcoming on others like the rest of you beta cucks. Kys all of u

Dude I talked to this greek chick for a few years and was in a pretty similar situation. Fuck this bitch man. She's just toying with you. She knows you want her. That's why she got around to talking about her being a slut. It's a power Trip. Block this bitch out of your life. The only way to do that is to get a real woman that's local and wants a relationship. They're there. It's what got me out of my hole.

how to engage a conversation with an egirl and build a relationship where we talk daily

dude, oh dude... seriously dude... you're in a deep case of beta faggotry
Please, stop it

Seriously, it's doing only harm to you, can't you see?

You got to change your life, change the way you deal with stuff. All these changes have to come from inside dude, seriously

Stop being a harm to yourself and start treating you with respect, for once

>I start to get the urge to have her cuck me

Fuck off.

Technically yes, but when you are emotionally invested into someone, it becomes more than pixels friend

I have already blocked her and haven't really spoken to her in over a year. Read da story man. Also, do you guys really think that everyone's true love is going to live within 20 miles of you? Within your state? Your country? Is there even such a thing as true love? It seems everyone finds "thiere one" so close to home, and I think it's evidence that there is truly no such thing as true love if most people are willing to settle down and marry a girl locally, and truly think they are the person that is most compatible with you out of hundreds of millions of other women. not saying this bitch was my true love, but it felt like it at the time.

It's a state and a city dipshit
well I live there too just got curious

Also try to stop with the porn, change it for for something else it, running and sports worked for me so you should try it bc of your wheigt, it seems like something dumb now but is better than the situation your in, go to /fit/, get some professional help, and stop trying to talk to this thot again (and delete you main skype account and the messages between you both)

Kys nigger

you should just take drugs and fuck bitches.

I did read. You said your still contacting her. Don't. As for true love. That's a lie. Movie shit. What you really need to look for is a woman that's not a bitch or selfish. A woman that you are compatible with sexually and who you can stand more than 10 seconds. That's life bro.
I'm 10 years in a marriage btw.

Love is just neurotransmitters activating your neurons on the pleasure paths and centers, activating memmories, modulating responses

"True love" is the result of finding someone that is willing to cope and live with you, and you're available to do the same for the person

No one's life is predestined or written somewhere dude, you make it your own

it's time to stop treating yourself baddly, please, it's making everything worse

Go and fix your life, forget about her or any other women/trap/men... focus on yourself for once in your lifetime, invest in yourself, than come back here in a couple of years to tell us that things changed

ya dun fucked up lad

she was always playing with you and you let yourself get played, when you shouldve dropped her and moved on a long time ago

darwinism in action

While exercise and making positive changes to your life style will probably help your confidence. You may want to think about saving up some money to see a therapist if your problems are getting out of control.

Do you live near Rua Nova Dos Portugueses? I may have spelt that incorrectly lol. Yeah, again, all of you guys are right in your responses, I don't need focus to jog, that's for sure, that one I have no excuses about, but the focus thing is a huge hurdle for me to overcome, and I'm at a loss of how to deal with it, since I am poor. Going back to the exercise thing, once upon a time, actually when I was beginning to Skyper her, I was in shape, not /fit/ shape, but not a fatfuck and could run a lot and lift moderate weight. While doing situps, I would lose track of what sit up I was on because my mind would wonder elsewhere. I truly do live in my fucked up mind and not on Earth, and it blows and I can't crack the code of how to get out of that. Not that I will be affected by it, but I loo forward to the day when other people afflicted with my ailment will have a cure, or a reliable treatment option when science advances, and the day when mental health will no longer be a stigma due to social evolution.

this guy despises black people for their skin color and calls them niggers while weighing 200 pounds at 5'9 and jerking off to traps.

this is the shit that gets normal white people a bad reputation

Contacted her once during Xmas, sorry if I made it seem otherwise.

underrated post

also i'm not a nigger, faggot.

Just try to find you a woman. Being a fat ass ain't no excuse. Women hate their bodies more than dudes. As long as your not a troll you should be able to meet a woman.

Did you even read the story. I don't despise blacks because of their color, I despised them mainly after this incident with her. Also, can't help but to think of the niggers rather than the black people most of the time when thinking about blacks for some reason. Sorry for my default thinking pattern, it does need to change as evidenced by this story. Also, I do realize I'm not in much of a position to judge others, but yet do because I'm human. I'm working on it, and would never harm any balcks even if given the opportunity to and no consequence, I'm simply not that violent/hate driven

post pic of your nigger faggot ass so we can judge you.

I actually thought about it, but that would be crazy. There is actually no advantage to that for me, but I suppose you don't care about that .

>Do you live near Rua Nova Dos Portugueses?
It's not that far away from where I am (maybe 1 hour)

Shit man, you have to start trying work out again if you continues it will help you to focus more and is gonna keep you distracted from the nofap

just paint your face over and post pic.

user, are you planning to do some thing to this chick? Looks bad

I'm not riding any bandwagon. I'm 24 with ADHD. Everything you're struggling with, I've struggled with. You need to get your head out of your ass, and this isn't the place to do it. Sup Forums is a churning cesspit that will undoubtedly corrupt all those that visit it, and will continue to pollute their minds as long as they return. You were right to cut her out of your life,but going back to her, and attempting to indulge in this sick, self-destructive fantasy is only going to worsen things for you. You may not realize it, but you're attempting to bridge love to rejection, shame to intimacy, sex to dissapointment, and everything together. Once these connections are cemented in your head, getting better is going to be very, very difficult. Drop the racism thing, it's only going to exasperate things. The faster you learn that people are just people, and all of them suck, the easier it'll be for you to live alongside them. Getting out of your mom's house is a solid goal. It'll help you establish a degree of Independence, and from that, confidence. Stick to it, and see where it takes you. It'll probably get you laid, and by someone with a clean cunt.

honestly OP, ive been waiting for nudes or atleast more than one pic of this chick. care to share to your self loathing with another self hating cuck? :^)

using the n word is wrong, sorry m8 no way to defend it. If you want black people to stop being pieces of shit you can help by no longer labeling and minimizing them as scum. I'm not here to defend black people just calling out some bullshit. White people will be the minority in the future, don't set us up to get fucked.

PS Sorry to hear about your story, but don't hate any one specific group. shes as likely to have had sex with some trailer trash redneck as some lowlife hoodrat

>true love
kek

So you think it's unlikely that you'll find your "one true love" within 20 miles of your home but it's totally plausible that your one true, only possible, prefect match love is random bitch in another country that you may online? And she also happens to talk to tons of other random dudes around the world and goes on trips to fuck them but for whatever reason never came to meet you?

Seems more likely she's just a manipulative slut and you fell for her game.

You don't need the love right now, you're not mature enough to handle it even if you found it. You just need some confidence and experience. Get on ok cupid and meet some locals.

I used to check on her FB like once a week, even though I deleted her, and I eventually deleted my account in order to stop this, well that and FB is cancer. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and lack of judgement, and again, you are absolutely right. Apparently she has a BF now, not black if you were wondering, more of a Latino looking (She told me you guys are NOT Latino, but sorry to us there is no distinction) And h is a pretty buff dude :/ It would do my heart good if I were to be that fit, send her pics and make her crave me, and then just ignore her lol, because I got the dude beat in the face department, but definitely not in the body. Actually, that'd probably cure that cuck BS shit too.

Thing was, when we started skyping, she was a little chubby, but I encouraged her and gave her a book to read, The Slight Edge, and she applied it's knowledge, and I didn't because too fucked in the head lol. Now she's with a buff bro, and I'm fat

Can't handle nigger

>white will be minority. Did you leave the West yet bud?

lol no, really just out of curiosity. I am NOT violent in anyway whatsoever, and fucked in the head, but not dangerously so, well to others at least.

I strongly believe, have witnessed and proved lots of times that you reap what you have sown

So that's it, remember this OP

Additionally, forget about love. Infatuation happens, rarely lasts. Focus on puttting yourself in a better position to pursue your goals, and then pursue them. Love, and all relationships by extension, are ideally symbiotic. Two people, perfectly capable of progressing towards their goals independently, made all the more efficient by the support of another. If you want love, relationships, friends, you need to start moving forward, and to start moving forward, you need to want to improve yourself. That's all that life is, man... Movement. Stagnating as you have been, doing the same shit day in and day out, spanking your monkey to increasingly more and more depraved shit as you continue to desensitize yourself day after day... You're killing yourself, slowly. Knock it off.

What the fuck are you even doing here.
Nigger is just a word

Don't know exactly where she lives, it's a pretty big street, maybe like a avenue, and I think she just give this information to OP as a reference.


>(She told me you guys are NOT Latino, but sorry to us there is no distinction)

kek, I'm aware of that

>Now she's with a buff bro, and I'm fat

Been there but fuck it user, the guy probably have std's at this point, also, stop monitoring her this will make no good, and go get in shape.

Call a nigger a niggerthen, you chickenshit tryhard edgelord. I'm sure Jayquan and his friends would be happy to take your education regarding the English language into their hands.

This may sound odd, but I would like some vague, non identifiable information from you. How did you overcome this thing? It's driving me to madness. What do you do for work. What do you do about the comprehension think to even perform your job well? I'd like to learn from you if I can, and come to Sup Forums for the diamonds in the rough, there is no other place I know of on the net you can speak so honestly, and get just as honest responses. Go to Reddit, tell them about this and no one has the balls to speak the truth.

No dude, I want to escape this line of thought, also I have no nudes of her, we always did stuff on cam

I very specifically said I in fact do NOT think she is/was the love of my life looking back. She was undoubtedly a positive thing in my life not accounting my warped mind

>because half of me wanted to just tell the nigger lover to get fucked

Remember kids, racism on Sup Forums is just a meme for the lulz.

Yeah right, you guys are just pathetic shit losers

>she was probably the most positive person I have ever met
The most HIV positive, if she's such a niggerlover.

I work like 1km from her street.

Whoa I was going to write you some motivational words but after reading your responses you are just a whinny bitch. Man it up.

>I'd like to learn from you if I can, and come to Sup Forums for the diamonds in the rough

being this depressed
My feels bro, good luck

Idk who you are but you are now undoubtedly my role model/idol thank you I will now do all of these things you've mentioned

Thank you for your input

People fail to understand what is latino. Latin country is any country that speaks a language that came from Latin. I think what you'd say is hispanic. We are not spanic but we are latin. Like Portugal, Spain, France, Italy and Argentina.

hispanic*

Latino it's often used in the same away as hispanic, but yeah is a common misconception.

ADHD and ADD are very different, so what works for me and what works for you will likely be in stark contrast. When it comes to ADHD, we struggle to focus on individual tasks for long periods of time. To get around this, I went into the trades, welding specifically, where I'm either juggling so many variables in any given task that I'm able to rapidly switch what I'm focusing on to keep myself fully engaged, or I have many tasks to do during the day, so I don't get bored or start to zone out. However, outside of my trade, I tend to suffer... so much so, that I've been looking into medication, despite a sea of bad experiences with many of them as a kid. Learning about me isn't going to help you, though. Tell me about yourself, that I might better advise. Or give me a disposable snapchat or something through which we could establish a correspondence.

It really is. I'd not ge angry because someone got it wrong. In fact many people from Brazil think they are not latinos because they are not hispanic.

>Met a girl on Omegle about 3 years ago

/thread

TL;DR you fucking faggot ?!

>Find out that I was one of many guys she was skyping with at the time

>ONE OF MANY

Is there a reason why, being aware that you're a cuck, haven't KILLED YOURSELF ?

>latino
From latin america

>hispanic
From Hispannia, or their colonies. Hispannia being the whole Iberia penninsula and not just Spain.

In the mid 90's my former stepfather had insurance through work, and I also received medicaid, so those two let me basically go to any doctor I needed to go to. My stepdad was not a very nice man, and basically took me there because I was hyper, and at that time displayed symptoms closer to what you have. The doc was some old chinese fuck who put me on Ritalin, and to be quite honest, at the time I didn't really notice a change, but yet, I was not even 10 yet, so I wasn't quite aware of how my cognition should work. Eventually, I got taken off the meds, but when I was through middle school I was bullied relentlessly, and it is during this time I became depressed and have not snapped out of it since. Now, it seems I just experience life through a foggy lens nonstop and can't seem to focus for 5 seconds on some days, or have a total lack of comprehension. I will make a throw away snap chat and will contact you. Thank you for extending your hand to me. I will do that now.

Thank you, and yes, it is this bad unfortunately

>Met a girl on Omegle
>I was one of many guys she was skyping with at the time
>we were skyping each other for 3-4 hours a day, 3-4 days a week
>I'm a depressedfag
>shitty life
>I tell her I love her
>still love her
>hang on because, ya know, I'm a faggot
>I'm bad at this
>working at a fast food restaurant
>felt inferior
>making shitty sandwiches at the notion that she fucked niggers
>I was just spazzing out
>chubby and a retarded autist, depressed 4channer
>I had/have porn addiction/wank addiction, it's how I deal with depression, that and eating
>I start to get the urge to have her cuck me
>I'm jerking it to traps, gay porn as well
>I'm a faggot
>Fights start to happen more frequently, I feel increasingly fucked up.

Gonna have to stop there. I gave up collecting your autism. There's just too much.

Also now, got bullied by my step dad as well, basically the physical embodiment of a Sup Forums heckler, literally go kill yourself, faggot, IRL,

I made a throw away snapchat, it's: that4changuy92

I know, original. Again, thank you for doing this.

Hey, so whats her name? What if I tried chatting with her for you and I got a video for you of me fucking her and her swallowing my cum?

op keep going

Alright. Tell me when you do.

...

Can't give out any personal information, also she lives in Brazil

Thanks to all who listened to me in this thread, and gave me encouraging words and advice. See you all.