Character says he hasn't had sex in one month like it's anything special

>character says he hasn't had sex in one month like it's anything special

r9k pls go

>character is on his last year of highschool and he needs to lose his virginity or he will be a loser for life

That movie trope and IRL trope.

well shit that explains a lot

haha I'm playing this character right now

>character has an easy job where he sits in an air conditioned office all day doing nothing and earning big bucks
>he hates it

>haven't had sex with a girl in over 2 years

Thanks for reminding me faggot OP

>has had sex
I want normies to leave

Lmao one month dry spell? I feel bad for that guy. That's like literal torture.

Tell me about. That's as bad as having to fuck a fattie.
*punches hole in the wall*
CHAD LIFE!

They're more than welcome to trade places with me. BE the jobless loser.

>with a girl

Something you want to tell us, son?

desu I've worked kushy A/C jobs and outdoor manual labor jobs and I'll take the labor. At least you get in shape.

>going on like 6 years now

Fuck you fellow chad. Slight fatties are god tier fucks

Try doing that shit till your 50 like my father, in Houston weather no less. I'll take the cushy office job thank you.

>4 years and counting

>It's been 5 years since I kissed a girl
>Only dated one since for 2 weeks, she would always awkwardly hug me before I could try to kiss her
>Before that I had kissed 3 girls in 3 years and brought a different girl to 3 different proms
What is happening to me please life slow down give me a girl please

>Houston
>manual labor

Where at fellow Houstonian? I wonder if I've worked with your father

why not just get a prostitute?

btw how do you get a prostitute? haha not that I need one I'm so lonely

Backpage.com

I wouldn't have children and I have boring but inexpensive hobbies so I'd be able to retire before that.

>got laid once 6 years ago
>not a virgin and no motivation to ever get laid again
The lack of pressure is nice actually. If I was still a virgin I'd probably be miserable.

The big lie Hollywood does not want to tell you here is that it's totally okay to be a virgin as a Freshman at college, you just need to lose it in the Dorms or you'll never go anywhere in life.

>Dorms
Is this an american thing?

>why not just get a prostitute?
Honestly, I'm not desperate enough. I was good at sex in high school (admittedly the few times I even had it). As I grew older I just grew more awkward and it became less pleasurable and I just don't give a fuck anymore. If a chick straight up comes up to and says she wants to bang, sweet. Otherwise, I can't be bothered with those cunts. I'm sick of having to be the person to initiate the conversation. To buy the drinks. To ask them out. Fuck that noise, I'm just here to drink some drinks with my friends and get plastered and ensure my ride home. Fuck those bitches.

Can you still go wizard status after you've had sex? Like, just start over the counter?

Oh sorry, meant to touch on prostitution first. Because I don't know how, don't really want to because it'd be awkward, plus it's illegal. It's just not worth it.

The other post was just touching on trying the traditional way of getting laid.

>tfw 26 year dry spell

Hold me.

>when a board is no longer fun because of faggot /r9k/ virgins venting about circumstances they could totally overcome if they stopped being fat lazy fucks

I would but since you are a virgin, no

I'm neither lazy nor fat nor fucking
Its just hard to find women who aren't retarded that would also fuck me

And? Dat pussy ain't retarded

I'm not interested in fucking a brain dead pussy because I'm not a brain dead person
>Tfw nobody will ever love you just because you're slightly weirder than other attainable guys

If you're not 26 it doesn't count.
>tfw 8 years, 6 before that.
>tfw posting frogs and waifu threads on an image board in my 30s.
Perhaps the two are related somehow.

>Its just hard to find women who aren't retarded
all women are retarded fampai. which retard do you want?

>haven't talked to a girl in 3 years
>fat asian friend gets laid easily

sounds like it's time for you to log off

from life.

>Perhaps the two are related somehow.
Dude, no. Chicks dig guys who can meme.

I haven't had casual sex in two weeks now but I haven't had the good kind, emotional sex where it really mattered and love was involved in almost two years now. I miss it.

Having sex doesn't solve anything, you won't became any less anxious, envious or depressed as a person by having sex. Sex is just the consummation of romantic love, of eros. Love at first sight doesn't exist, love is built on emotional feeling which you cannot truly have in simple carnal lust. And no, you don't love the celebrities you devote gigabytes to, you're infatuated with them, which is a totally different feeling.

None of you know this not because you're virgins (it's so easy to get laid these days I suspect many if you arent) but because you've never been in a serious relationship

>"I haven't had sex in nearly two weeks"
>Nine months and thirteen days

Short for dormitory.

I haven't had sex in 6 years.
Give me a few more months it'll be 7 years.
Step it up, faggot.

Coming up on year 4 here. Does it ever stop wearing on you and making you feel like crap?

The masturbation and over indulgence in alcohol helps.

Is this an american thing?

Yes, Americans live in buildings, third worlder.

Do Americans call building "dormitories"?

See this thread is a perfect example of why frogposting should be banned

Not as long as the neetbux keep flowing and I have plenty of time for vidya games and TV/Kino

For campuses.

Same. It's really hard to find someone in my room.

Do Americans call lecture halls dormitories?

>lose it in the dorms.
wait
*record scratch*
...what if you don't live in the dorms? And graduated?...

This multi gold medalist and world record holder hasn't had sex.

T W E N T Y T W O Y E A R S
I've literally never even held hands with someone. Help.

Well you don't know what you're missing so you don't deserve input.

is that surprising? I've seen cat asses that look better than her.

>tfw you live in the "A hero falls" timeline

rude

I am 32 years old and haven't kissed a girl since I was 16. My penis has never touched another person. I'm mostly over it at this point.

my fat fuck of a gym teacher from highschool looks better than that "woman"

I'm sorry.

so rude

I find that hard to believe.

...

>Tfw got laid last week but you just want a deep emotional connection instead of being used for your admittedly nice body
BBC is overrated.

She is literally an autistic kissless virgin.

im a 21 y/o virgin turning 22 in a month

is it too late for me Sup Forums? am I already a wizard?
the furthest i've ever gone with a girl was both of us drunk and naked on a bed, i was fingering her and she was stroking my dick but I couldn't get hard enough to stick it in

fucking normie

Help I'm losing mine in mensex

Ah could be worse. You kinda get used to it after awhile.

Source: 47 year old wizard

I don't believe you. Bitch probably took on the whole Jamaican team

>people who aren't handholdless think they can post in your virgin thread

What cantrips do you know?

>people still think its bad to be a virgin

>its

Maybe god IS real

what if I told you the reason I couldn't get it up is because she wasn't.. young enough

Good taste.

If you don't believe she has autism, just go watch her interviews. She spends 99% of her time in a pool and has no idea how to interact with humans.

Turned 26 a little over a week ago matey.
Wizard soon.

it's not bad, it's just embarrassing. I bet your parents are disappointed in you, son.

This.
Yeah yeah this is coming from a dude who hasn't gotten laid since Facebook/Twitter/Instagram took over the world but avoiding all those STDs and unplanned pregnancy.
Shit's scary, yo.
I hear people all the time who sleep around having to go to check ups cuz their partner for the night had STDs.
That and all my friends around my age have kids that take over their lives.
Sure I'm not having sex but everyone always envies me since I have no girlfriend or kid, cuz I can do whatever I want with nothing tying me down.
People tell me wow you're still young and have control of your life.
I just shrug it off cuz I just browse Sup Forums all day.
But at least I ain't got to take medicine to fix my genitals or take care of a baby.
Or even worse, child support or alimony.

Single life, baby.

>Sure I'm not having sex but everyone always envies me since I have no girlfriend or kid, cuz I can do whatever I want with nothing tying me down.
>People tell me wow you're still young and have control of your life.
>I just shrug it off cuz I just browse Sup Forums all day.
I'm sorry.

>character can't make friends
>character can't get sex
>character never even kissed once
>character gets bullied by Chad

Excuses
You're virgin because you can't get laid, not because you choose

>tfw no sex in 5 months
>tfw no gf in 3 years

Sure I can't get laid with girls I want, but some uggos try sleeping with me throughout the years but I'm not desperate.
I rather not have sex than say I had sex with a gargoyle.

>tfw no sex or gf in 21 years

>26 years
>close to hitting wizardry
should I keep going? It's 30 right?

Was it 30 or 40?
Either way, hang in there.
Don't let some vixen vex you out of wizardry.
Have you thought about what spells you're gonna specialize in?

meme spells

Hi satan
I hit 30 last week, might go for 40 now

Its 30

also deviil trips confirm

I'm raised catholic so probably some faith+int build

if you haven't lost your virginity by 22 just pay for a hooker. that way you don't have to dwell on it

Cool so you're gonna crash planes with no survivors?

It's just moving the problem
>Never had kiss after sex

try 34 years