Let's say, hypothetically, you had a rare disorder where instead of creating shit...

Let's say, hypothetically, you had a rare disorder where instead of creating shit, your body converts everything you eat into perfectly made top-tier sushi. And it doesn't get destroyed from being smashed by your asshole on the way out; you actually shit out 10 or 12 perfect little pieces of different types of sushi, complete with some complementary garnishes on the side, after shitting the sushi.
Having this disorder, would you ever eat the sushi? It's perfectly clean and normal sushi, but it's been in your asshole. Would you eat it even once? Just to try it?

Would give it to my gf OP

Do you have this disorder OP?

...

m-maybe...

What makes you ask such a specific question?

What the fuck OP. I mean, maybe yeah I'd try it I guess.

Food and richness for all time.

Fuck yes, not only would I try it, I'd open a fucking business. I'd call it Assushi.

Not a good business plan. You'd have to take a shit for literally every customer that walks in. I only shit MAYBE once a day.
With so many people wanting to try your famous Assushi, some are bound to be disappointed.

assuming it smelled ok and eating the ass sushi would produce an equal amount of ass sushi, i'd live on the shit and use all the savings to build a dildo collection with which to fuck my clean little sushi machine 24/7 because i no longer have to wait out big shits for ass play because it's just dinner

I don't like sushi, no.
But I would get lots of thanks from community for all the sushi i donate to tard help groups.

the image

Of course it would be limited but if it takes off id have packs of people everyday wanting to try my assushi. Id also mark up the price because of the rarity

That's actually a perfect business plan.

OP would adjust. Just pick up a taco 12-pack from Taco Bell every morning, put it in the fridge and take out and microwave the taco 12-pack from the previous day. Wash it down with a can of Bud Light.

Does my Ass-Sushi have nutritional value? Or is it just fancy shaped tasty shit?

It's not shit. It's actual sushi. Normal, standard sushi like you would buy from a sushi bar.
Let's say this disorder takes all the food you eat and rearranges the molecules into the same compositions as fish, seaweed, rice and other ingredients.

In that case I would eat the shit out of it. A free, fancy meal daily. Random flavors so I never know what I'm getting. What exactly is the downside?

Just take a shower and clean around your ass well just before you pop out the tasty sushi.

To add to this, its not like the sushi has shit on it, you literally don't have shit in your ass.

This thread is amazing

>Implying i wouldn't want infite energy id also never need to leave my room,make my piss sprite and im set for life

mmm...no. Your piss is pure water.
Sprite will just give you kidney stones which are NOT fun to pass, by the way.

God fucking damn it

>so it's settled
>Sushi is so fucking good people will literally eat it out of their own asses

>fuck my clean little sushi machine
p-please just go back to saying boipucci. I take it all back

>clean sushi
>been in your asshole

???

Yeah but you've had this disorder since birth. As a baby, you were shitting out tiny little cute sushis.
Never in your life has fecal matter ever touched your asshole. Only sushi.

So it would be clean sushi, I suppose.
Plus, this is a hypothetical question. It does not need to abide by the laws of nature or physics.

winrar

wonderful. not only can my cunt smell like fish, so can my ass.

It's free sushi. I'd eat the SHIT out of that.

What do my farts smell like?

If I get diarrhea what is that like?

>What do my farts smell like?
I assume sushi.
>If I get diarrhea what is that like?
You get watery, liquid soup-like sushi.

you a girl? also WHY does it smell like fish?

yes.

and it's not supposed to smell like fish, actually. if it does, you've bacterial vaginosis. I can't describe what it should smell like beyond musky if you've been sweating, like nothing if after a bath and that classic iron scent during menstruation.

Why not? I eat stuff that comes out of my ass all the time.

>If I get diarrhea what is that like?
Miso, obviously.

Nice trips but miso doesn't have anything to do with sushi, other than being ostensibly Japanese.

gimma da susu bby

I'd be pretty disappointed if I could only shit out weeb food.

I need someone to draw a girl shitting sushi into another girl's mouth because of this image.

fuck

Ha ha!

Is there a vegan option?

...

What other kind of liquid stuff do you consume when you eat sushi? Saki? Miso is at least made from seaweed.

Also, trip 7's is best trips.

no I wouldn't you coprophagic fag

Interesting idea. If you only eat vegan, do you shit out vegan sushi?

Miso is soybean paste.

And it's sake

I don't like sushi, so nah

No. Only sushi.

You have failed at being a human being.

Hell yes i would. Getting my favorite food for free

OP's scenario sucks. Let's try a new one.

Would you date thicc Egyptian Kitty even if she pooped giant golden logs?

The stock used to make miso comes from fish or kelp. That's why I mentioned it.

Thats miso soup which has a dashi (fish/seaweed) base

i'd give it a try, but don't expect any sugar from me

do they still smell bad?

I understood that reference.

Nope. The only smell they may have would be that of a exquisite Egyptian perfume.

ok if you get worms of do they come out out your ass as the same kind of worm but in the fish or do they stay the same? do you have to put the worms in your mouth for this to hapne or can i just shove worms up my ass and have them come out the right kind for the fish?

That's what I was referring to. Looking now, I guess I didn't say miso "soup." That's on me.

i need to see the face to understand how furry this is, and understand how big her tits are. Is she up for impregnation, being dominated, and lactation play? And can I sell the logs? Depending on these factors, I might be willing to go through with this.

But ya still got ass sweat

ass sweat is salty so you need to use a little less soy sauce

Also, does this mean that no matter what you eat, you will never have the shits? Like, you could just crush 20 Taco Bell tacos burritos and three 40's of Old English, and still just poop out a perfect spider roll?

tits w/ timestamp hunny

>i need to see the face to understand how furry this is
Here's another pic of her.

>Is she up for impregnation, being dominated, and lactation play?
Dunno man

>And can I sell the logs?
Of course... if she gets something in return that is.

Autism on*

Since my ass won't contain any shit which means my ass won't smell at all.
The rotten fish won't happen since u said the sushi comes out in a perfect piece.
The sushi is perfect but it always has the same taste making it the perfect meal when I am running low on money. So sometime I'll get bored bout the taste and have to open a sushi dinner to assure none goes to waste.
Yes I would eat the sushi

No, but I don't like sushi. Go figure.

Would I puss wasabi? And if so, would it burn like the dickens?

this would be like fucking an emoji. I'm not sure I could go through with it unless she's okay with repeatedly being fucked from behind.

>unless she's okay with repeatedly being fucked from behind.
She is fine with that. Just watch out though; a golden log might emerge while doing so... sometimes.

No, you piss pure water. The wasabi comes in a little glob after you're done shitting the sushi (which means you still have to wipe your ass) and it's not always wasabi. Sometimes it might be caviar or other garnishes.
And no, it doesn't hurt.

Wouldnt you only need to shit once and then never buy food again? 10-12 sushi sounds like a lot, and if that happens every time you shit, you could eat just a couple of sushi and shit like 10x that amount out, thus never really running out of food/shit/food etc
You also wouldnt need to worry about any weird stomach issues or diarrhea or whatever because its always just sushi
That being said, what are the health risks of having fish in your ass? Would you catch some kind of disease? Not worth foreverfood if you die from butt-fish-bacteria.

Eat chipotle every morning, indicate sushi all day every day

If someone fucks your ass when you haven't recently taken a shit, do they get little bits of sushi rice on the end of their dick when they pull out?

Also, if they cum in your ass, does the cum turn into sushi too, so that when you poop, it's still just sushi?

I think OP didn't consider all the possible ramifications.

how tall is she? depending on her height, the log will be between a few pounds to a few hundred pounds in weight. How the hell does her ass contain 5+ lbs of concentrated gold without tearing? Does this mean she can take brutal anal at the risk of destroying the dick inserted? Will she turn my dick to gold it if I stick it in?
This presents the same problem as the sushi question: at what point of the digestive tract does food become converted to the new material? It also raises many other questions. How much notice does she have of the logs coming out? Does it just feel like she has to shit? At what point does the implied antigravatic effect of her sphincter turn off? Furthermore, how does she fuel this anal antigravity field? Does it come from her metabolism? If so, does the mass of the food she eats get directly converted to gold and energy to levitate her golden logs, or does her ass violate conservation of matter? If her ass doesn't violate conservation of matter, this means she either eats a massive amount of food per day, or she shits infrequently causing massive constipation. This makes me worried.
Can I do anything to ensure that she poops smoothly? I don't want her ass to get hurt, even if it is superhumanly tough. Also, how does her metabolism function? Is she up for being restrained and fed massive amounts of food for weight gain play?

Assuming you only shit out sushi, hell yeah. I mean you dont actually shit out any shit or whatever, so at that point its like just touching it with your hands.

Assushit is a better name

What do farts smell like?

>how tall is she?
Animal Crossing girls are shorties. She'd be no taller than five foot at most.

>How the hell does her ass contain 5+ lbs of concentrated gold without tearing?
She has a naturally stretchy hole to accommodate her unusual ability.

>Does this mean she can take brutal anal at the risk of destroying the dick inserted?
She can take brutal anal yes, but your dick will be safe.

>Will she turn my dick to gold it if I stick it in?
Only what she eats turns to golden poop.

>How much notice does she have of the logs coming out? Does it just feel like she has to shit?
She notices it and she will feel it when it's coming like anybody else. It's just bigger for her.

>At what point does the implied antigravatic effect of her sphincter turn off? Furthermore, how does she fuel this anal antigravity field?
There's no anti-gravity, she just has really strong anal sphincter muscles.

>If her ass doesn't violate conservation of matter, this means she either eats a massive amount of food per day, or she shits infrequently causing massive constipation.
She poops regulary like any other person only that her poops are abnormally large for some reason.

>Can I do anything to ensure that she poops smoothly?
She always poops smoothy, don't worry. It's never painful for her. Only mildly uncomfortable sometimes at most.

>Also, how does her metabolism function?
She won't get too fat from eating a lot. Any fat goes to her butt and thighs mostly.

>Is she up for being restrained and fed massive amounts of food for weight gain play?
Yes but she end up doing a really, really big turd afterwards. Bigger than that one.

I don't know who you are but you're a fucking maniac on a mission and I respect you. Please never stop.

>If someone fucks your ass when you haven't recently taken a shit, do they get little bits of sushi rice on the end of their dick when they pull out?
Yes.
>Also, if they cum in your ass, does the cum turn into sushi too, so that when you poop, it's still just sushi?
No, the cum would have to go through the digestive tract. This includes the stomach and intestines. So the cum would just be cum.

10/10 would lose my sides again

>no taller than five foot
This might be acceptable. Shortstacks are fun.
>She poops regulary like any other person only that her poops are abnormally large for some reason.
Either her shit violates conservation of mass, or food is converted into foamed gold. I'll assume it is the latter as violating conservation of mass seems more absurd than transmuting food into golden shit. She will need to have incredibly strong anal muscles to be able to shit this out as metal foams have high rigidity. I will also assume that her poop has to be hotter (no pun intended, I'm referring to physical temperature and not actually into scat) than normal poop to increase the pliability of the foamed gold.

>She won't get too fat from eating a lot. Any fat goes to her butt and thighs mostly.
I want her to get fat, especially including her upper arms in addition to her thighs and ass. This might be a dealbreaker unless I can feed her tons to compensate for the distribution effect. Fortunately, you've told me she's up for this:
>Yes but she end up doing a really, really big turd afterwards. Bigger than that one.
I'm alright with the large turd. We'll use it to buy more food. In this scenario, fucking and feeding her would become my full-time job. I'm concerned about how I could continuously sell this gold without attracting attention or devaluing gold and tanking the market. Can her ass transmute food into other metals by any means?

>Only what she eats turns to golden poop.
Does this include other objects than food? Even if she can only transmute food, conservation of mass implies it'd more efficient to feed her dense foods to maximize transmutation.

Is she up for being part of a harem or polyamorous relationship in which another woman would be involved would with her and myself?

I'm a slightly autistic oldfag with insomnia. My only mission is to evaluate the scenario as thoroughly as possible and alleviate my boredom. I might be able to sleep soon.

So then, where in the digestive tract does stuff become sushi? If you were shot in the abdomen, usually they would have to perform surgery to close a perforated bowel to prevent it from leaking and causing sepsis. If it were perfectly clean sushi leaking out into the abdominal cavity, it wouldn't be as serious.

>where in the digestive tract does stuff become sushi?
I assume there's a magical otherworldly bacteria in the chamber that is your stomach. But it is a medical mystery.

>Either her shit violates conservation of mass, or food is converted into foamed gold.
It's basically poop coloured gold in terms of texture and weight properties.

>I will also assume that her poop has to be hotter
Sometimes it is rather steamy but it's not so hot that you'd burn yourself on it.

>I'm concerned about how I could continuously sell this gold without attracting attention or devaluing gold and tanking the market.
Well a lot of things in her house are golden due to being made from the gold in her turds. I guess you could smelt it down into bars and store for when you want to make stuff.

>Can her ass transmute food into other metals by any means?
Unfortunately not, I'm afraid.

>Does this include other objects than food?
Only what she can digest, which is what any normal person can digest.

>Is she up for being part of a harem or polyamorous relationship in which another woman would be involved would with her and myself?
Possibly, I mean she is Egyptian after all.

> she just has really strong anal sphincter muscles.
Ok, this has me increasingly worried. How do the logs come out of her ass? Are they always going to be thick and continuous, or are they going to be hard logs?
The nature of foamed metals as outlined in implies that unless sectioned off into larger nuggets of gold, her turds will always come out in large ropey logs unless her sphincter has more crushing power than bolt cutters. However, a pair of bolt cutters has a sharpened edge, so this will be more like a bunch of hydraulic presses closing in radially.
Her ass is nice so I'd be eager to try anal despite not really being that into it in the first place, except that I'm scared her asshole will crush my dick into a pulp. How good is her sphincter control, and how strong are her sphincter muscles? Is she within superhuman but safe range, or does she in fact have a hydraulic press for an asshole?

>How do the logs come out of her ass? Are they always going to be thick and continuous, or are they going to be hard logs?
Some are long like in but others are shorter like in .

>The nature of foamed metals as outlined in implies that unless sectioned off into larger nuggets of gold, her turds will always come out in large ropey logs unless her sphincter has more crushing power than bolt cutters.
You have to remember I said her poop is basically just regular turds properties-wise, despite being golden. It doesn't take much for her to snap one off if she needs to.

>How good is her sphincter control, and how strong are her sphincter muscles? Is she within superhuman but safe range, or does she in fact have a hydraulic press for an asshole?
It's safe, she won't crush your dick.

I'm disappointed that there don't seem to be any loopholes I can use to break physics, but this might be workable if she can be the shared fuckpet of myself and another woman.
I don't really want the poop aside from it being profitable because it's made of gold, but this is entirely workable even if the lack of variety of metals would make things difficult.
The last thing I need to ask is whether all things that pass from her asshole have gold content. If they are, then it might be possible to use her as a gold reserve accessible with extreme laxatives. I would rather not do this as it might be uncomfortable for her, but if we keep her hydrated this shouldn't be a problem.
Thank you for letting my autism run wild, OP. It was a good set of questions to consider. And yes, she will have to eat the entire cake.

>I'm disappointed that there don't seem to be any loopholes I can use to break physics
What kind of loopholes were you lookin' for?

>I don't really want the poop aside from it being profitable because it's made of gold, but this is entirely workable even if the lack of variety of metals would make things difficult.
Well, maybe there is a way to have her poop something else. You'd have to experiment though, because no normal food will change what metal she poops out.

>The last thing I need to ask is whether all things that pass from her asshole have gold content.
Yes, all her waste does.

>Thank you for letting my autism run wild, OP. It was a good set of questions to consider.
I'm not the OP. I just posted the Ankha stuff because I thought the sushi stuff wasn't that interesting. You're welcome though.

Can you not.
Can we not.

>What kind of loopholes were you lookin' for?
Creating singularities or defying gravity. Anything that lets us use her ass for interstellar travel if it won't harm her and she's up for it.

You don't belong here. Leave Sup Forums and never come back.

Goodnight, Sup Forums.

>Anything that lets us use her ass for interstellar travel
Kek. You're brilliant. Good night user. Hope we meet again.