Alright boys I might be a new fag but have I got a fuckun story for ya’ll

Alright boys I might be a new fag but have I got a fuckun story for ya’ll

First a a bit of background info:
I’m a 6’2 irish italian. Slender build, got a nice jawline, chin kinda effeminate big blowjob eyes (I’ve been wrongly accused of wearing mascara multiple times in my life)
If my parents had any fucking clue how to raise a kid I would have been chad material, but instead I came out of highschool experienced in nothing but gaming and academia, with a total friend pool I could tally on one hand.

> I thought college was going to be worse for me, but I got taken in by the resident ‘cool guys’.
> It’s pretty obvious they just me having around for comedic relief, feed me shit for my complete lack of social skills and sperg moments 24/7, and I take it with 0 rebuttal so I’m basically like the group punching bag
> I don’t really care tho, pretty sure they’re nice people who deep down feel sorry for me, and I’m slowly leaching social skills from them, plus it turns out I can crush drugs like a champion, which they find pretty cool - guess my childhood has left me mentally resilient or some shit
> Most nights we just get high and talk shit, but one gay we decide to go for a skate in one of the uni’s multilevel carparks (well I had rollerblades cus I can't skateboard, much to everyone else’s amusement)
> Anyway so we have a race from the 4th floor to ground, and I have a late start cus Im a complete pussy high and take ages to psych myself up
> Get way too much speed and stack on the last corner on ground floor, slide like a fucking meter on my ass.
> Just lie starfished on the ground in agony for like 10 mins, finally get up, through my blades into the darkness in a fit of rage and leave the parking lot
> Everyone else is gone at this point, pretty sure they didn't even hear me come off
> Passing the main bus port / taxi zone as I’m hobbling back to college when I hear a girl sobbing
(...)

> Spot (gonna call her scarlett, cus she legit looks like scarlett johansson I reckon) leaning against one of the bus shelters crying
> Simply ask her if she’s ok and she fucking pushes herself off the pylon and onto me
> I can smell vodka on her breath and she’s clearly fuck-eyed drunk
> Just kinda stand there speechless, patting her on the back
> I feel her tears soak into my shirt as she cries into my chest
> all I say is “its ok” over and over again, seems to be soothing her though
> Despite the burning in my coccyx, Start to help her back towards college when I hear angry shouts and fast paced footsteps
> Her half-cast indian fuckboi cunt of a boyfriend and his posse running at me from across the road
> O Fuck me how did I not notice them
(...)
I got dinner now but I’m keen to continue if you can deal with my shitty greentext prose

Go

I don't fucking care OP

Yeah nah you're right I should really just right it all down and wait for a relevant thread
also fuck you

Write now, eat after, cunt

I've already eaten cunto Im on it

hurry upppppppp

you rollerblade? jesus christ you fucking poser

keep going, i'm interested

man newfags dont even know to prewrite their greentext nowadays

> scarlett starts just screaming abuse at him, and spits at him when comes to a stop in front of us
> “What are you doing with my ex slut faggot?” I open my mouth to try and explain that I was just trying to help and he hooks me right in the fucking temple
> next thing I know I’m on my knees, my head feels like its in a vice and all I can see is blur and stars
> cunt hoists me up and kicks me into one of his boys, all of whom have surrounded me
> I can hear scarlett going hysterical from somewhere behind the circle of assholes as they jeer and push, kick and punch me around between them
> not too sure how long this went on for but it felt fucking long enough
> One of cunt’s lackeys suddenly yells out in alarm as another pushes me back toward cunt
> I make out familiar voices shouting my name and more running
> thank fuck
> still flying towards cunt at this moment, who is distracted by my friends running at them ready for some truck-fucking
> adrenaline kicks in and I come out of punching bag mode, plant my front most foot down and put all my momentum and weight into a nasty uppercut
> connects with his jaw with full force, I didn't have to overextend at all cus I had the height on him
> the most satisfying sound I’ll ever hear will be the crack his teeth made as I fisted his jaw into his skull
(...)

go on

Moreee

if this doesn't end in sex i swear

>it_better.jpg

Jesus Christ, hurry up

> Cunt slumps into the arms of one of his friends, most of which now have scattered
My friends rush to my side, and threaten to btfo of cunt and his remaining lackey
> its pretty clear he’s already fucked up, looks more fuck eyed than scarlett at this point
> I watch the two smugly as they disappear into the night before looking back towards scarlett
> couple of my mates are kneeling down with her, scarlett and them keep talking and looking back at me
> one m8 beckons me over, throws me a cheeky wink and says scarlett wants me to help take her home
> next thing I know everyone bombs down the road and me and scarlett are alone again
> I help her up and she hugs me, gushing
> keeps saying I’m sorry and how Im a good person
> Somehow the pain in my gut is overwhelmed by the butterfly sensation
> I did my best to pokerface “lets just get you to your dorm and friends yeah?”
> had no intention on trying to fuck, I was a fucking physical wreck and even concussed I realised how fucking stupid it would be to lose my V’s to this bitch I’d have to live with for the next 3 months
>relatively effortless trip back to college, we fell silent and she kinda just smiled at me whole way back
>help her up the stairs to her dorm, she seems less blitzed at this point (guess all the walking and crying sobered her up idk)
> still way to drunk for consent tho, but at least she wasnt swaying around as much
> get her to hold the handrail as I get my key card for the door
> open the door and turn around to see her slowing tipping backwards, about to fall down the stairs
(...)

bump

Cont pls

bump

>still too drunk for consent

that has never been a problem here before.

you have my bump good sir

Keep going please

Bump

Cont OP

bump

bumping again

> catch her in my arms, she makes no effort to right herself, just lies across my arms, staring up at me with her big fuck-off beautiful eyes
> my lower back is on fucking fire but i’m transfixed as she slowly closes her eyes, slackens her mouth and purses her laden lips
> It felt surreal, like I was in a fairy tale
> a fucked up old testiment fairy tale but still
> can’t fucking help but lean in for the kiss
> we lock lips and she pulls herself up by my shoulders, pushing her perky tits against my middle as she aggressively forces her tongue into my mouth
> I feel blood rushing to my dick, and my boner intensifies against her lower stomach
> the remaining blood in my brain sends me into panic mode and I pull away
> “scarlett that was a mistake your really drunk, you’re friends are going to crucify me”
> “It doesn’t matter I want you user” she says slurring between giggles
> i take her by the hand into her dorm, ready to fob her off to one of her hallmates
> all the doors are open and empty
> her whole floor is still out
> fuck
(...)

Bump for intrigue

Nice dubs..... And nice story too :P

sounds like it's just gonna end in sex to me

Hurry up faggot

I'll take my damn time you thirsty mofo

keep going?

where is the spagehtti

should've fucking pre-wrote this shit

Have some oranges instead.....

...

Go on go on

Bump

bump

It might be fiction, but this is a pretty good story.

Good God you love yourself don't you. No we don't like it, kys.

One time my mate walked through a club vomitting and proceeded to optionally check himself out he knew he was too fucked, he went to the bus stop and somehow picked up a girl covered in vomit (she must have been gross), got the bus to hers, fucked her, then didn't have the rest of the bus money so had to walk three hours home (he forgot his pin), ended up accidentally walking through a taped off crime scene (got super questiony and curious to the cops), got into maccies almost home, took off his top after realising it was covered in puke and had his maccys breakfast then walked home, got into bed and then I rang him like "Oi get up we're going Freshers fair" and he did.

> she leads me into her room
> the primal opportunist in all of us has taken me over
> she pushes me onto the bed and grabs a ¾ full vodka bottle and shot glass from her desk, leaning over so I get a clear view up her one part dress
> she’s wearing black laced underwear, 80% of which has been eaten by her fucking amazing white ass
> “Its okey if we both drunk right user?” she says with a smirk
> she pours me a shot and feeds it too me
> “fuck just give me the bottle” I say, grabbing it (cant actually do shots for shit and I wasnt about to fucking vomit)
> take swigs as she puts on the weeknd, house of balloons
> starts slow dancing sexy af
>pulls her panties down and throws them aside
> pulls me back up off the bed
> the world kinda whirls and I falter, look at the bottle which is now half empty
> she grips me tightly and pulls my head down so her mouth was level to my ear
> “You can't go to sleep if you’re concussed user” she giggles coyly
> hnnnng

Bump

thats it

>Random girl knowing enough sports medicine to call a concussion.
Alright you broke my immersion.

Bump

i'm waiting for the spaghetti

>Random girl knows user's name without hm ever telling her

to be fair the immersion has been broken several times now. i'm only in it for the ride

No spaghetti..... Only doughnuts.....

> she goes for my sweatpants
> I pull that shit off before she sees the grandpa tier y-fronts Im wearing and chuck it across the room
> pushes me back on the bed before gorging herself on my dick
> fucking
> ecstasy
> after a while my dick is soaked with saliva and jumps into my lap and starts eating my face
> recoiled at first but I couldn’t tell my precum from her spit so meh
> scalett crawls over me and presents herself doggy style
> fuck this is it

fuck ur fucking doughnuts

have a pic of spaghetti pulled straight from google

this shit is p fucking common knowlege, especially if you've passed the high school level of education

which clearly you haven't retard

You're ruining it op

There's a famous romance film where this is an important plot point. Any chick into chick flicks probably knows this

[Citation Needed]

I don't lel

common knowledge is pretty uncommon these days

boring

Is it concussion with WIll Smith

Everyone knows that you retard.

I'm watching a video from the Bakky Collection and these dudes are tryna drown this jap chick with a shower head, because they couldn't force her into the tub.

Ah well I was just about to finish typing in that last 'h' but yeah you beat me to it

the ending is will smith eveyone peace out :^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^)

But yeah I'm not gonna bother finishing it, I realise now how much suspense recounting in real time creates - it basically makes it impossible for the ending to be satisfying :c
I'll try again another time I guess
sorry for the g up bois

>OP is a huge new fag

should've fucking pre-wrote

I'm fapping to the catfishman..

You fucken bet ya :^)

Omg OP
You rly not gonna finish that sht up after all this time?
Fuuuck you so much

I doughnut want to fuck my doughnuts.....

I'm sorry lol

>They have anal
>the end

I'm not op..... But this is pretty much what he would have written down :P

won't finish his story bit will still lurk in post in his own thread.

this is......art