IS THIS THE END OF HOCKEY JERSEY MAN?

IS THIS THE END OF HOCKEY JERSEY MAN?

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>they see ur penii

Is this clerks but for wimin?

>"hey I have a great idea let's name our daughter after the comic character I've fapped the most to!"

Should've put the pot away

>b-but it makes me happy and creative
No, it makes you retarded.

With a last name like Smith you need any excuse to stand out.

No because he's never really made movies for the critical/monetary success. Almost everything he does is a passion project for himself and his fans.

he was always a hack, I'm surprised it took people until cop out or clerks 2 to realize

>Guys you know what Canadians like? Maple syrup and only maple syrup, hahahahahahahahahah.
>And they also don't like the USA. Genius.

Poetry.

Yeah probably.

Except Clerks 2 was great

Chasing amy was his best film and it went down from there

Canadian here, why the fuck is he so obsessed with Canada?

wew

Said no one ever

so is this kino?

No he's right. Clerks 2 was an instant classic.

He is a cuck and he identifies with other cucks.

Clerks 2 was awesome, but it was probably a fluke.

So do they wear yoga pants?

Fuck you, faggot.

Its alot better than the first it had a plot that actually delivers

Clerks>Mallrats>Dogma>Beavis and Butthead Do America>Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Indisputable.

>Beavis and Butthead Do America
I went to look up how Kevin Smith was involved in this movie

And he wasn't

Yes, they do Yoga in the movie. You get to see Harley's breasts squeezed into a too tight sports bra while she does yoga poses.

You guys have a SJW prime minister. You are bigger cucks than sweden.

I was too grossed out by Kevin Smith's wife. It's the only time I remember a movie repulsing me the way it did. She's like a wax figure with a rubber mask glued on.

If by "no one ever" you mean "literally everyone without a stick up their ass", you're right.

I honestly didn't mind Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Didn't go in expecting anything from it. It was obvious he wasn't really trying and was just having some fun fucking around and trying to make a quick buck. I thought it worked as a simple stoner comedy movie that was one long view askewniverse reference.

>movie about canada is shit
wow what a surprise
this country sucks

back to Sup Forums faggot, no one wants you here.

Yea, shoehorning her in is pretty dumb. Like in Jay and Bob Strike Back, she is very clearly not as hot as the other three girls and it's almost distracting

Who are these people spending millions of dollars funding Yoga Hockey Monster Movie, Podcast Walrus Horror Movie. His next movie is Jaws, but with a moose instead of shark. Where does he find humans with money that think this is a good investment. I want to see these people

this. he gets too much hate. hes doing what he loves and and i respect him for that, even if i dont like his latest movies.

Making movies for your fans is intrinsically about monetary success.

Ha nice try critics. Sure they film is a compelled unwatchable piece of shit by literally any objective standards but you're forgetting one very important thing:

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BAD!

I mean, it's about two teenage convenience store clerks fighting a sausage Nazi! You really expected it to be competently made or contain any entertainment value or worth the hour and a half of your life or worth the price of an admission ticket? Haha checkmate critics, Kev wins again!

Saw it at Indy Pop Con this year.

It gives a whole new context to the film when you hear the director actually talking about the road it took to make his film...for almost 2 fucking hours.

It was interesting how he got Johnny Depp for the Guy Lapointe role, because originally that was gonna go to Quentin Tarantino.

My friends fucking loved it, I thought it was decent but quite frankly a little poorly produced. Very direct-to-DVD style, special effects are hilariously awful (at one point they do the Batman POW! BIFF! WHAM! shit and it looks so fucking out of place). Sometimes it hits though, and I'm happy with that. Hearing the fatman talk for like four hours before and after the movie made up for it.

He.doesn't.care.

He knows his films are terrible but he will continue making them. He has said so CONSTANTLY on any of his podcasts.

So the world will have to continue suffering his movie escapades.

He also makes so much bank from all of his other ventures that he can continue making this movies and not have to worry in the least about box office or any other sort of profit.

He doesn't give a fuck.

No, no it's not

Kevin Smith is now on the Insane Clown Posse business model - farming the fanbase because your mainstream interest is over, with occasional grabs for meme status.

Making movies to appeal to the mass market is intrinsically about monetary success. You could have a fanbase that was huge in the 90s and tiny now and still make a movie that shuns the mainstream in favour of them. That's not a smart business decision. I'm not saying all made-for-fan films aren't about the money because you're right, most of them are. But saying it's tied directly to the money makes no sense.

He actually talked about this, apparently everyone who read the script for Tusk said it was the dumbest thing they'd ever read. They were surprised at how invested they were in it though, so they figured what the fuck. It was almost like a challenge for Smith to make something even remotely passable.

starstreamentertainment.com/

He actually explained that in the intro before Yoga Hosers. That company makes money financing movies that actually make money and they financed Tusk with budget leftover chump change for shits and giggles.

Yes it is, see . If you're irrelevant and were barely talented to begin with, this is how you keep the engine running twenty-two years down the line.

True but in your example ICP would have had to release a monster success in the early 90's so the mainstream press still follows them.

>Average Rating: 0.8/10
When will he learn?

60%
>60%
60%
>60%
60%
>60%
60%
>60%
60%
>60%

Our country is at least properly segregated. You have spics running wild and you capitulate to black violence. :^)

Because he likes Hockey

That's the same review he gets for all of his movies.

And yet you know who he is because of his movies.

It really makes you think.

Why did he cast a girl hotter than his daughter? She looks like a horse compared to this other chick's perfection.

As a fan, I have had absolutely no desire to see this or tusk because they just look so off the rails retarded

What will Kevin's pals on Screen Junkies say about this movie?

cool photoshop m8

I'd watch the jerk off version of it on Pornhub.

I honestly cant tell which is which based on this post.

CanUCK

He's right, though. Your Prime Minister is literally Current Year: The Person.

Yes. It is exactly that.

Because that's Johnny Depp's daughter.

Of course it's the smart business decision. He couldn't sell out because nobody is buying. To maintain his fanbase, he makes movies which are purely goofs with in-build absurdity that he can laugh with them about - buying them brings you in on his joke. Their crumminess is a feature, not a bug. It's called 'keeping your hand in'.

Still doesn't make them anything but shit.

that was his point retard

They had about as much of a mainstream success as Smith ever did when they were on Island Records. Smith was marketed by Weinstein as an art cinema auteur.

he finally figured out youtube
he'll be fine

... and the mainstream press doesn't still follow Smith any more than it follows ICP, he just knows how to use the internet.

sjws are entitled pricks who believe nothing is allowed to exist if it doesn't pander to them. fucking fascists.

Niice

Of course. Like said, that was my point.

the coked out movie exec that loves giant spiders has better movie ideas than this tubbo, that's for sure

...

Does anyone else remember when Smith was spoken of alongside, Tarantino, PTA, Linklater, Rodriguez, etc. as the "90's New Wave"?

>Mallrats that high
>Strike Back that low
>no Chasing Amy
nigga you dumb

You think she'd leave him if he wasn't famous anymore? I always got the sense she was a whore.

...

pretty much this, he's a good guy at heart there's no doubt about it, the amount of shit he's done for his friends he's grown up with is insane, he gave them all careers. i don't like his recent movies, but they're what they are, indie stoner ideas.

i love how he used to shill his wife in all his movies but now she's a shrivelled wizard and his daughter has stepped up to the plate.

>I always got the sense she was a whore
Nah, just a career jew
Jennifer ((((((((((Schwalbach)))))))))) Smith

this.

also, he's just naturally untalented and lazy

>not even a 1/10

JUST

B R O W N

A R E A

>First teaser trailer looks like a funny slice of life in the canadian sticks for bored teenagers
>Full trailer has fucking tiny nazi demon sausage men

Ya fucked it up, fatman. However now its being declared an ultra turkey, Sup Forums will hail it as kino. Until it gets some small cult popularity, then they'll hate it again.

I honestly think the movie looks fun.

It reminds me heavily of the Scott Pilgrim film. I can't fathom how it could be THAT bad. Like with tusk it was clear how it could be really shitty but this just looks like a cute little teen comedy.

what did he mean by this?

>HER TAINT PWNS MY DICK

...

Is that his wife? I always wondered why one of the girls was fuck ugly, it seemed so weird.

Every day's a school day.

>Why did he cast a girl hotter than his daughter?

Lily-Rose & Harley are friends, he made a movie for them.

>2:02
youtube.com/watch?v=o0vdvsZQXek

why would he put his 60 year old raisin ass looking wife smack dab in the middle of this scene?

I can believe a hybrid walrus man could exist stiched together from random pieces of human but I can't accept a girl cheating on her SO with fat joel osment

Last Canadian Hero

I remember when I was 12 his movies were the best

Jesus fuck women are a meme.

Kevin is a fat balding perma-jersey wearing slob but all he has to do is watch his diet for three months and take a walk every night and he's fine.

Doesn't matter what the woman does. You're 40+, you're crypt keep. The end.

one on the left makes my dick harder

This, kids, is the reason you don't use drugs.

He's so goddamn high, his first draft of Clerks 3 had a fucking spaceship in it and his wife had to tell him to cut it

He isn't a maverick going against critics because of some artistic vision or specific comedy taste. He's someone who was lucky and charismatic enough to get a hard core of retarded fanboys who will watch literally anything he makes, buy the DVD, buy the t-shirt and other merch, despite him putting very little effort or thought into it beyond how to extract as much money from his goofy fans as possible. He exploits these dumb fans with a cult of personality and he's probably aware of it on some level, causing him to feel guilty and comfort eat.

S-screencaps please

>he fell for the pander to women meme

xDDDD

made me cringe already, thanks for the warning

The pigtails somehow complete the tableau