So, Earlier this evening, I caught my twelve year old daughter looking at vibrators on Amazon. No...

So, Earlier this evening, I caught my twelve year old daughter looking at vibrators on Amazon. No, this is not an incest fantasy bread.

Anyway, She didn't notice that I was standing behind her because she had her AirPods™ in listening to music, so I had time to look over her shoulder and see what she was doing. When I finally realized what she was looking at, I slammed the MacBook™ shut. So I took her MacBook™ away from her and grounded her for a month.

About twenty minutes later, my fat wife told me that she ungrounded her then told me give the MacBook™ back. She was standing right next to her when she said it.. They both had their arms crossed. I sat there for a while in silence, dumbfounded by what my wife was doing, and then I refused to give it back. My wife and I argued about it for about an hour and then eventually she just gave our daughter the fucking MacBook™.

Neither one of them are speaking to me. I don't really want to speak to either of them either. I will sleep on the couch in the living room tonight. My wife completely punked me out in front of my own child and now it's going to be fucking impossible to discipline her.

I can't understand it Sup Forums. I try to protect my daughter from becoming a degenerate slut and my own wife undermines me. I still can't believe she didn't have my back on this. What the fuck is this world coming to where twelve year old girls looking at adult sex toys on Amazon is acceptable behavior?

I'd tell her to use her hand. No sense in throwing your virginity away to a piece of polyurethane

Man, just let it go. Don't be so rude, you know doing this is gona have a big effect on your relationship later on right?

There are other educated ways to go about this. You remind me of the piece of shit parents I had always expecting to have eachother's backs when I did something wrong, then the whole would just turn into a fight between them.

Talk to your wife about it, if you don't clear the air things will only get worse.

Sup Forums is not the best place to go to for parenting advice. However, suggest you and your wife need to have a long talk and set ground rules for acceptable tween behavior in 2017.

You're also a dumbshit for not communicating this with your wife. Marriage requires teamwork; of course she's gonna be pissed you did something without including her on it.

YOU have to be 18 to post.

You posted this before.

YOU are not a chick so where is your dog in the fight?

What the fuck are we supposed to do? Pull an Agent 47 on this bitch with the neckbeard battalion and autist sniper squad?

>MacBook
Is that like a food journal but you write about what you eat at McDonald?

I'm not sure if this is some kind of obscure joke, why the fuck did you use ™ so much or at all?

just buy her a vibrator. I'm sure you daughter gets horny. what do you care if she rubs a pieces of vibrating plastic on her pussy? she's going to masturbate either way

Even if this bullshit is true, you are wrong.

It is time you talk to her w/ wife present about birds and bees.

Shitty pasta is old

user speaks true. You don't want a good cop/bad cop dynamic in your parenting, but a unified front, especially where discipline is concerned. You should have talked to wifey before putting the foot down. She could have handled the situation better, but you dropped the ball first.

Talk to your wife, so you can make sure neither of you repeats the same mistake.
Also, tell us more about your daughter. Asking for a friend.

it's a shill trying to advertise for macbook

>Marriage requires teamwork
>says a lonely virgin

Just fuck her yourself, that way it saves you money.

>tell us more about your daughter
this and his friend would also like some pics of your daughter in a thong bikini

Did anyone else ever see the movie that little midget guy did called Great Land of Small?

>You can't into vibrate
>years later
>rides big black dick for revenge

Copypasta is stale.

Welcome to being the male figure in the family bro. Everything is your fault and you will always be wrong. Best advice suck it up.

Wow dude, i don't go on b as much as I used too but this proves it, you really are here forever. A btard asking for parenting advice, wow.

Question for you OP, how much shit does your wife give you? FYI mom isn't from the mainland USA and if I had a sister she would have kicked her ass for that.
|This is why im glad im bi, I would not last 5 minutes with an american woman, my fucking god man she's turning your daughter into a slut.

Lel, again why I would not last in an american household, I would end up beating the fuck out of someone and when the cops get called go out shooting, no one respects men in this country.

Yes, Tell us more about your daughter, Why does she want the vibrator?

If I take that macbook away will you die?

...

That will be extremely tedious

You're an average guy

I thought they were ABS or polypropylene.

user, all young girls/boys will interested in sexual things. It's inevitable.

>stfu pedo

Oh gee, sorry. I use to be 10yo one time.

Stfu, fucking fivehead ass motherfucker.

i mean she is 12 i discovered porn at 4, and started cumming at 8 and im not a fucking degenerate im just a lonley 18 year old virgin.

For who?

This post again

stfu pedo

you're a dick

That guy over there

Just kill them both

...

I'm late af, but whatevs...

Maybe you are in the wrong? Who is to say she didn't hear about them before and wanted to look it up to see what it was.

It can be like when you're watching a movie with sex in it and your parents walk in on the sex part. They assume its porn and ground you for it. Not fair at all right?

u posted this before fuck off

Holy fuck summerfags.

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She was probably looking at:
Hitachi © Magic-Wand ™
but they are now manufactured by Vibratex ® Corporation

Install Windows XP on her Macbook.

And tell us why your wife thinks it's normal at 12 behaving like a wasted 37yo whore

LOOK AT ALL THE TRIPS IN THIS THREAD
HOLY FUCK

>MacBook™
This is your problem. Know what I would do in you situation? Use group policy to apply proxy settings on her machine and use a family friendly proxy to filter that shit right out.

You're a terrible father. Holy fuck.

Yes because he doesn't want his underage daughter purchasing dildos. You fucking faggot

This copypasta sucks

sooooooooo you rather have your daughter go out and get banged by guys then let her stay home and do herself with a vibrator? because that's what you are forcing her to do by going over board with the computer and grounding.

...

an hero pls

Nasty pasta.
Nice picture of Weezer.

if she fucks herself shes not fucking guys.. ur dumb and turned her into a slut for real cock instead of being comfortable with herself... self esteem issues will ruin her if you take away her dildos you idiot

...

You let your wife cuck you in front of your daughter. Grow some balls man.
Your wife doesn't respect you and your daughter won't respect you unless you straighten this shit out.
You're the man of the house, put those bitches in their place you faggot

>if she fucks herself shes not fucking guys

if she tries the polyurethane one, she'll soon want the nigger one

Are you guys going to buy your 12 year old daughter dildos if she wants one? Not trolling just curious.

Did you post this from your iPhone7

of coarshe

never.
if I do, she'll have 4-5 "unwanted pregnancies" before 18

What are you married to a fat bitch anyways?

yes, from my Apple® iPhone⅞

Isn't it better for her to be getting off with a vibrator than a black cock?

what kind of supreme faggot actually takes the time to put superscript trademark symbols throughout their post?

Is this some new forced copypasta shit?

>forcing a child to use apple products
now THAT'S child abuse!

>what kind of supreme faggot actually takes the time to put superscript trademark symbols throughout their post?

it's the shitty iphone autocorrect, faget.

All the faggots telling him to let his underage 12 year old daughter to buy sex toys I reported you to the FBI

and it lets FBI spy your activity

He typed all that on a phone???? lmao

>user got red pilled by his own wife

better go to the sink and get some soapy water on that face because you just woke up user.

Divorce your fat, sorry excuse of a wife and use this as ammo in court to get custody of your daughter. It's too bad this shit didn't happen earlier in the girl's life so she wouldn't be corrupted by your wife's shit-tier parenting but you can at least get her away and try to mitigate the damage done by educating her properly.

Man whoever comes up with these copypastas have so much time on their hands

You sir are worse than Hitler

You should let that aspect of parenting be in the mom's domain. You can save face by admitting you had acted rashly and that you don't fully understand why it's a good idea, and then discuss it more with your wife in private. Kinda lame she undermined you right in front of your daughter, but maybe that was just a feminism coming out.

>Implying similar circumstances don't happen across the globe and some end up on Sup Forums

i laughed because of the gif

Thank feminism dude

I bought my daughter a hitachi magic wand and pic related for her menarche party.
Feels amazing to clip it on and let the hitachi tap on it.

My mother was (and is) horribly sexually repressed. I got the "fingers in scalding water" treatment for being caught masturbating. I got my ass whipped to bleeding after the neighbor kid confessed that we'd touched no-nos.
That shit is far from healthy, and totally unproductive.

True, but how open and involved should a parent be in their childs masturbation practices?

menarche party wtf

Treat it like other bodily functions.
Don't pee, poop or masturbate in public.

Wow so difficult.

wtf is this question even
if they masturbating in their room why the parent have to be involved
dont let me get chris hansen

>protect my daughter from becoming a degenerate slut and my own wife undermines me.

your wife has it figured out

just accept it and try not to be an asshole when your 13 year old daughter gives birth to a nigger

It's a real thing that people do, brozef. Try google if you want to see hilarious (or sickening) examples.
For my family it's basically just a second birthday in that year, where you get "grown up" presents.
I think it started because my husband's grandparents were filthy neopagan hippies, and kept because it's pretty cool actually.

woo wee it's a good thing 99% of you don't have kids

"You bleed, you breed. Now get in the bedroom with your uncle."

I have kids, UNfortunately no whore daughter like OP though

What an absolutely retarded concept.

>Daughter we're gonna celebrate the fact that you're gonna bleed for the rest of your life and not die
The fuck...

Just for incidental hilarity, my mother in law's legal name is "Crystal Babbling Brook In The Meadow Fields"
Easy to guess she goes by Brooke.

Explain how it is significantly different from bat mitzvah.

Man liberals are weird

Explain to me how a bat mitzvah isn't retarded too?

as opposed to conservatives and the imaginary friend they routinely talk to

Do..do you get ANGRY when others have fun? Does it hurt you physically somehow?
People celebrating life and health fills you with seething hatred?

Drawing a line and demarcating it with a celebration to help a child through the rough transition into adulthood doesn't sound like a fine idea to you?

84% of the world is religious. Just because you don't believe in it doesn't make you special

no, it just makes me sane

This

God...please act more hurt... It's because people like you coddle their children that they turn out so thin-skinned and offended by everything and anyone, that doesn't give their petty plights the time of day. I'm not angry at their fun or celebrations but don't glorify a natural act just because they got a little uncomfortable, fucking christ...