D&D story thread?

D&D story thread?
I'll start
>3 party members all lvl 3
>1 paladin 1 warlock 1 ranger
>party arrives in small town
>party goes to shop in the town
>paladin buys armor and new sword
>warlock buys new mace
>ranger attempts to haggle with shopkeep
>multiple failed attempts at getting a better deal (low charisma)
>shopkeeper threatens to have his bodyguard kick us out of the shop
>warlock and pally leave
>ranger still tries to get free arrows
>shopkeep gets fed up and sends his bodyguard after the ranger
>ranger doesn't care at first and thinks he can just poke him from afar by being chased around the town
>7'9" bodyguard comes out of small shack
>bodyguard has greataxe deals 5d8 dmg
>bodyguard has more movement speed than ranger
>bodyguard has 120 hp
cont?

Go on

ok, continue

>proceeds to assrape ranger

D&D story thread? oh shit, nugga, im settling in

I never understood why that Tarrasque was supposed to be the strongest animal ever lived in D&D.

If it 'lives', it is prone to have disease like any other living entity.

So, its diseases are supposed to be 'strongest'.

>5d8 greataxe
>small town somehow houses a commoner with 10 Barbarian levels

DnD 5e has no weapons like that. Or does your DM just make up level 10 commoners with magic weapons just to fuck with you?

It's not an animal, it's a monstrosity. And there are several creatures stronger than it, such as Tiamat for example.

Also the ability to catch a disease is not what defines 'life'. And not all diseases are alive themselves, see: viruses.

Where the fuck is the cont mate?

>ranger slowly realized he fucked up
>pleads the warlock and pally for help
>denied
>ranger fires few arrows at the guard but makes little to no progress
>ranger runs into town bar (a few fistfights happening in the bar)
>bodyguard follows him in but loses sight of ranger
>ranger hid under a table
> bodyguard with 3 int grabs gnome and vaguely describes the ranger telling him to find him "smal green ting, wood stik with rope"
>gnome finds ranger
>ranger attempts to kill gnome
>nat1
>stabs himself in the foot with his dagger
>gnome runs to guard
>guard sees him
>ranger with injured foot and can easily be one shot
>"ofuk".mp4
>guard charges through small crowd, sending patrons everywhere
> pally and warlock are watching through window laughing
>ranger gets pinned by guard on the ground
>ranger needs to make a strength saving throw of 18 to come free
>rolls nat20
>thereisagod.png
>rushes out of bar and hides in a bush on outside of town
>finally safe
>lolno
>pack of wolves rip him apart with advantage on each roll due
>ranger was never heard from again
Our dm hates the ranger

Here's a greentext since OP fucked off apparently

slow typing Sup Forumsro haven't gotten coffee yet

That really sounds like the worst bullshit.

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William?

no just stories I found that were cool

Not entirely dnd but you could get a good laugh of it

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Tarrasque is a meme

You can fuck it up if you have access to 3rd level spell as a wizard.

for any stronger wizard it's a joke.

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Isn't D&D just imaginary role play round a table?

Someone explain this shit.

>trying to compare rl with a fantasy world
stay autistic fa/tg/uy

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no, the roleplay is real

great roleplay

Imagine a set of rules to govern actions, fill in the story with improv based on the rules.


Get some beer....

Profit.????

I wish I had friends to play D&D with

I wish I could find a DM that doesn't ditch or give up pre-start, 4 in a row

anyone got star wars dnd stories?

There's an app or website or something like that called meetup. As long as you aren't completely fuckin autistic it's a good way to find groups

Sounds cool. How long does a game of D&D normally last for?

yeah, me too.

Roll20 niggas. It's a website. Google it. Minus the niggas.

While Tarrasque is not as OP as people claim it is, how can a level 5 Wizard defeat it? Tarrasque's saves are amazing and he can choose to succeed a number of failed saves per day. Lv5 Wizards don't have that many spells available, and one good counterattack can kill them.

It's basically videogames irl. It's fun.

They tend to last pretty long. Most campaigns are designed for a good number of afternoons/evenings of play, but there are some oneshots too.

Usually my friends and I do a three hour session once a month, current campaign is a year and half in.

Back in college we'd finish a campaign in 3 months, but obviously there's a lot more time to play in college.

Yea I've used that app before but there's literally no groups where I'm at

Thanks for the tip user. May I interest you in a rare Pepe?

>how can a level 5 Wizard defeat it?

I fucked up a bit.

Lvl 3 cleric can defeat Tarrasque.
If he set up to improve his rebuking, he can rebuke CR4 Allip and control him.

Allip is incorporal so torrasque cannot deal damage to him. Every time allip attacks it deals 1d4 permament wisdom points of damage.
Per rules when it's wisdom gets to 0, it loses all it's hp points (-20 in case of Tarrasque be cause of sturdy I think) and starts to regenerate 1hp per round. So you have 20 rounds to use a shovel to cover it's nasal cavities and mouth with dirt. That way Tarrasque would be suffocating and stop regenerating.

Now if you say that said cleric needs to find Allip first, I agree, thats why 3rd level cleric COULD defeat a Tarrasque.

At level 13 both Cleric and Wizard can fly and just summon an Allip via spell.

Higher level wizar can just open a gate to elemental plane of water and sent Torrasque there.

Or you could create force cage arround Tarrasque and pour it with water for a huge exhibit of permamently drowning Tarrasque

This all aplies to 3e 3.5e and pathfinder through. I did not bother with 4e and 5e

>-20 in case of Tarrasque
it's actually -30, not that it matters

Size: 70ft by 50ft
Damage Reduction 25/+5
Spell Resistance 32
HP: 840 (Hit Dice: 48)
AC 35
Attack damage: 4d8+17, 1d10+8, 1d10+8, 1d12+8, 1d12+8, 3d8+8.
All attacks have at least +52 to-hit. You can forget about armor.
Stats: STR 45, DEX 16, CON 35, INT 3, WIS 14, CHA 14
Saves: Fort +38, Ref +29, Will +20
Regeneration 40/round
Indestructible: Tarrasque can regenerate from all forms of damage. In
order to kill him, you must reduce him to -30HP and cast Wish or
Miracle over his remains.
Imposing Presence DC 20 (when Tarrasque attacks, enemies make Will saves
or are Shaken)
Anti-Magic Carapace: Tarrasque's natural armor reflects magic, sometimes
onto the caster.
Rush: Once per minute, the Tarrasque can move at "a speed of 150 feet."
Is that the total it moves in a round, or its base speed?
Spot: Tarrasque has +21 to Spot checks, with an additional +8 to spot
invisible creatures. Invisibility will not protect you.
Listen: Tarrasque also has +21 to Listen checks. Don't try to sneak up
on him unless you're very, very good.
Fire Immunity
Poison Immunity
Disease Immunity

Seems pretty situational though. Just because you could hypothetically kill something if all the conditions are met doesn't mean that you can or will. Since you'll get one-shotted if he notices you before you can get your plan off it's incredibly risky.

Forcecage has no save in 5e and is very good but only lasts for an hour. It's also a 7th level spell.

>shadowrun 5e
>Be a newbie to the game
>Decided having uncouth was a good idea

>Team is sitting in cafe for a meet
>M/C decides he thinks everyone in the cafe wants to kill us
>He was right
>Whole cafe pulls guns on us
>Uncouth forces me to do first thing that comes to mind
>Flips table and jumps out the window just as shots are fired
>Gets on the back of our Bulldog and rain hell inside the shop on our mounted gun
>In the end, i go unscathed

So be ethereal then?
Hit it with Transdimensional spell, +0 metamagic
Christ, gitgud casul.

>Seems pretty situational though.
hence the word Could

at level 13 you can fly and summon Allip so this is just a joke at that point.

>Forcecage
>a 7th level spell.
hence i typed "Higher level wizard"
> has no save
It better not, it's creating an object
>lasts for an hour.
dunno how this works in 5e, but I'm pretty sure after making Tarrasque unconcious you could just permament 6 force walls in order to create permament force box for your new pet.

It would cost shitton of xp through

>be me go and see what Sup Forums is up to these days.
>See new fag geek post.
>D&D??? New fag game for new fags.
>AD&D Second Edition: Real game for men with hair on their nuts.
>Warlock with a mace? Gayasfuck.jpg
>Great axe 5d8 damage? Alsogayasfuck.jpg
>Body Guard has 120 hp? Moregayasfuck.jpg
>Mfw, I realize that the culture is shifting to the lowest common denominator for profits.

>second editon
>gayasfuck.jpg

in what DnD edition greataxe is 5d8? what is this

Greataxe is 1d12 + 1.5 Str mod

>>Shdowrun
>>Make a gay elf that is a famous youtube star living in a penthouse.
>>Get dragged into a hunt for terrorists.
>>Evidence leads us to a massive 100 car destruction derby for a huge audiance.
>>Being rich I buy one of the derby drivers car and take his place.
>>Proceed to kick ass in the destruction derby and hack the pa system at the same time to be blasting "It's raining men"
>>terrorist have a car in the derby with a fucking huge bomb in the trunk.
>>Get into one on one duel with terrorist.
>>using use my monofillement whip to cut his car axles.
>>Use pa system to evacuate the audiance while killing the terrorists.
>>Unable to disarm bomb so I drive off into the sunset with an explosion killing hundreds in my wake.
>>Go to the club and fuck an orc.

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