I ve been feeling horrible the past years .I really do not know what to. I am 18 and I really want to leave my parents house since my father used to beat me up until I called the police who did not believe me and my mom who ignored my abuse tried to convince them that i only called them due to some mild aspergers I was once diagnosed with (Something wich although she doesn't understand fully she claims most people she has problems with have), to this day she still sugar coates what happened while blaming me. I've finished high-school but idk about college since I really do not know what to peruse, even the few passions I once had like drawing I now feel unable to do. Thankfully flats in an area that interests me are pretty cheap to rent so I just plan on going into camming (something that interests me) to save money. But for now I feel hopeless (everytime I Google how I feel a list of symptoms of depression comes up) ,my only friend has stopped responding me the past days because our grandmother is dying and i am unable to feel bad for her since I am only jealous of her situation (I know I am awful). I can't go back into therapy rn cause the psychiatrists always pose me to forgive my parents while giving me antidepressants that don't work and useless sallow advice, that makes me feel even worse since it is killing me to be still forced to live with and love my abusers. I am sorry for the poor wording. It is really it is really hard for me to stay strong and to do anything nowadays
I ve been feeling horrible the past years .I really do not know what to...
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can u find a job and continue ur studies...
I live in a house with my mentally abusive father. Having a dysfunctional family sucks.
Here are some videos that can help you understand your situation and maybe deal with it a bit better.
youtube.com
Fuck how do you even stand living there
You are right I need to
Kek spicy
Addicted. I'm drunk or high or both most of the time so I got a bit toxic myself. We are who we are, huh?
True tho wouldn't being high without him better
He avoids me when I'm high.
Yeah but still
Depression is a symptom not a sickness.
Figure out what makes you depressed and change that.
E.g. parents, independence, pains, medicine, being told you suck again and again, social standing and 'friends'
The motivation to actually do stuff, will return once you stop considering things as a short distraction from your depression.
Tbh I have a lots of suicide thoughts. It's unbearable.
I feel the remorse inside of me getting bigger and bigger every single day.
My borderline personality disorder doesn't make things easier.
I don't know much about bpd but are you able to move
And see them as what exactly?
I'm kinda waiting for my (wealthy) dad to die so that I can throw a never ending house party with cocaine and hookers.
That is my light in the distance.
I just nearly went completely batshit insane from a whole two weeks worth of trials of shit and being a scapegoat, already coming from a whole plethora of shit years past. Even now sanity is almost entirely ovverated.
Don't kill yourself, kill the cause for your depression
Why put your life on hold tho
F are you ok now?
How?
I mean I am pretty okay. I wouldn't say I am excited for what will be coming up. There is still a metric fuck ton of stuff to do. It will be fine though, depending on the circumstances in the next few months.
As a hobby or purpose.
Imagine starting a garden. The first few times you'll be miserable. There is a lot of work, you don't see the point and consider it a pointless diversion tactic.
As time goes on, your first plants grow and you start to wonder how long you'll be able to keep it alive and how tall it will grow.
Suddenly you start to walk into the garden to continue keeping plants alive, not distracting yourself. Once you managed to care for a few plants, you start to wonder about aesthetics and more complicated plants and gardening becomes a complex habit, that gives you a reason to evolve yourself, learn new stuff and get out off bed in the morning.
Of course you don't need a living thing, you can easily transfer this process to manufacturing objects, painting, etc.
I moved out twice but when I feel lonely my addiction is so overwhelming that I'm not capable of maintaining a minimum living standard.
Zero self esteem ->No social life ->No ambitions
That is actually pretty helpful I never thought I could get help from b thanks bro
Fuck what is coming up
Why would you feel lonely
Leave your parents, they aren't worth your presense. It's not your home unless you feel and decide it is. Take a job with which you can sustain yourself and start living a life without your previous Problems. And take it slowly, you don't have to hurry. Sometimes it's better to run away than facing these Problems, because the way you described it, it will only hurt your soul and your mentality even more if you try to fix it.
My bps doesn't allow me maintaining a longer stable relationship. A single early childhood trauma probably fucked me up for life.
Glad I could help. I'm currently in the process of leaving a depressive phase myself. It also helped me realize that having a reason to evolve is very important. Which is why i'm very wary of 'i like you the way you are' relationships.
We need to be challenged in order to discover the things we like and keep developing our abilities in them.
Now I only need to truly commit to my new habits and leave my old stagnant lifestyle behind.
You are right thanks I will
So then y feel that y need y parents?
Nice good luck
I can't make money on my own, food and I like my brother. Someone even washes my clothes here.
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>aspergers
Was removed from the dumbass list in 2013. It does NOT exist except as an easy excuse for being a bitch.
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I know it doesn't effect my life or something
Anyone have sad pics like related? Please post more. I'm sad.
I'd like to keep in touch with you, so i can watch you form your future without your parents crippling your posibilities, and for you to have someone to talk to. Problem is, i don't know any way of exchanging personal information on this Board without the risk of batshit insane people here to take advantage of this information
Another sad bump
I think op left
>ctrl f military
>phrase not found
wtf Sup Forums. Find a recruiter asap, lie your ass off if necessary and change your life. You need a major shift in scenery.