Be american

>be american
>walk into show shop
>but two mircrowaves

if you can think of a way to fit a lunch into a single microwave i'd love to hear it

is this a joke? who knows

...

>ask american friend for a coffee
>he puts coffee grounds, butter and water into a bucket and sticks it in the microwave
>mfw

is this bait?

>american asks if he can use my microwave
>ameridumb takes shoes from fridge and puts them to micro
>when microwave pings ready, american claps twice and takes shoes out only to donate them to black man for impregnating his wife
>amerifat gets shot

AMERICAN AS FUCK

>be American
>foreskin merchant arrives for the pickup
>ask if he wants a drink; he does
>put a red cup in the microwave

>be american
>put food in mircrowave
>put microwave inside your second microwave
>wait for it to clap

>show shop
What did he mean by this?

>be american
>fridge dies in the middle of the night
>wake up
>see that my shoes got spoiled overnight
>try to put them in the microwave, but it only makes the smell worse
>go outside barefooted to go to the shoe store
>get shot

>see that my shoes got spoiled overnight

>Americans prefer to get shot than to get a shot

>mfw someone at my uni started a fire because they put their wet socks in the microwave to dry them

the memes are real

>be american
>wake up at 4am bleary eyed for mr noseberg as he wants me in early today
>haven't had my butter coffee yet, not thinking straight
>take shoes out of the fridge and put them on the side
>take the ketchup out of the microwave and put it in the fridge
>oh shit
>before I've realised my mistake, SWAT crashes through the windows and shoot me
>tip them on my way to hospital
>die

> be American
> never been shot at
> join army
> go to the middle east to get shot

>> be American
>> never been shot at

>be american
>save someones life
>get sued

>be american
>fridge gets shot by microwave

I know we're all memeing here, but if someone told me they've been shot at I would automatically assume they're a liar unless they either go hunting normally, at some point were in militaristic role that saw combat or live(d) in an unreasonably high violent crime rate area.

Why would they be more likely to get shot if they go hunting? Do American wildlife shoot back?

Can I ask in this thread why americans wear shoes indoors?

>show shop but two microwaves
the retarded OP fucked up his post beyond recognition yet apparently it doesn't matter and everyone is still replying. the power of Sup Forums

>be american
>tell porkies
>get shot

Yeah, you really have to watch out for the black bears they seem skiddish at first but if you spook them they pull out their tec-9s and start blasting fools.

because they need to take them out of the fridge to put the microwave in.

i love american culture

>responding to redditors

...

>be american
>be too stupid to understand >be american
>jokes.

I are sorry guys will try and dun get smarder

>IN THE FRIDGE

...

>be american
>vote in election
>person with less votes gets elected

Actually having 2 microwaves isn't that uncommon since most people have a standalone microwave in addition to the one built in over the range.

but whats in the freezer

I'm just glad Hillary didn't win

Our guns

I am too, but its still amusing that american elections work like that.

...

...

>be microwave
>get American

>be american
>put your wife's son's guns in the freezer while you heat your shoes up in the microwave
>get shot by the freezer

why?

>be american
>wear microwave as hat
>ring the bell when tipping my hat at ladies?

>be american
>microwave doesn't clap after you tip it
>shoot it

Fucking faggot, why am I laughing at this poor attempt of humour?

I'm glad Hillary didn't win. At the same time, in disappointed that Trump won. Such is life in the two party system.

>be american
>snip the tip to tip the jews
>put shoes in the freezer
>clap

It has to do with state population and producer states vs. consumer states and how much representation they should get. Look up the Connecticut Compromise