The top half of the Unibet Masters draw gets going tonight from the MK Arena in soulless Milton Keynes.
Kicking off the session are debuting Serbo-Austrian Mensur Suljovic and a resurgent Jelle Klaasen. The Gentle had a phenomenal 2016 including a first ever major final appearance at the Euros while Paedo Suarez has finally got into some consistent form following his dick pics scandal of 2012. Two men with wildly different seasons meet next with James Wade against Robert Thornton. Med Man has been his usual consistent self, reaching the Grand Slam final, whereas Thorn has been appalling, reaching just one quarter final in the entirety of last year; this should be a very convincing victory for Wadey. Then, it's Michael van Gerwen time as the new World Champion plays the last man who should have beat him in Simon Whitlock; the Aussie missed D15 for a 150 finish in the first round of the Euros and autism prevailed again like he did in nearly every tournament last year. Ending the first round are Stoke ferry fanatic Adrian Lewis and Belgian chipmunk Kim Huybrechts; with best pal Phil Taylor's news yesterday about his impending retirement, this will surely energise Snackpot to beat the overcelebrating Waffleboy bottlejob whose exuberance cost him dearly against the Prowler at Ally Pally.
Coverage start at 7:00pm UK time on ITV4.
>Tonight's matches (best of 19 legs) CAN'T CENSOR THE MENSUR (8) v Jelle "Yewtree" Klaasen (9) James "The Meds Are Back In Town" Wade (5) v Robert "Thorn to Lose" Thornton (12) MvGOAuTism (1) v STRAYA (16) SnackP&Ot (4) v Kim "Husband of Dana" Huybrechts (13)
Poor Simon. He's going to need all the luck in the world and hope Michael hasn't been practising.
Oliver Kelly
Ahh, finally, /180/ is back. Those substitution drugs I was consuming in the absence just aren't like the real thing.
Connor Miller
Well it started yesterday actually.
Dylan Wright
*dabs to welcome you*
Joshua Sanchez
Yeah, I know, I missed it. So today, it's also back for me.
Thanks, Austriabro. good to see you again!
Besides, there is a lenghty story I want to tell, so prepare yourselves...
Matthew Brown
>MvGOAuTism (1) v STRAYA (16)
Always the same shit. Why is this allowed? Give all your Vodka to Simon!
Austin King
So, after the worlds, there was a fun tournament in Germany, where they invited some of the big guns along with the native speakers (MvG, Gando, Phil, Clown, Mensur, Max, Rowby - and Mardle) to play with german celebrities. At first I didn't want to watch, because that TV station has a bad reputation for being pleb - so did the invited "celebrities", so I knew it was going to be shit. But, then, I was really bored that evening and thought I could watch anyway, maybe it was a good opportunity to see how the pros are besides the pro circuit and interact with unskilled players.
As I tunid in, most things were how you could expect them to be: Mardle cracking jokes, pleb being pleb, MvG winning, Gando not giving a fuck and so on, but then something really noteworthy happened. To fully understand this, i again have to emphasize that this was a FUN tournament, with the only use to promote darts in Germany and to secure said TV station a part of the darts popularity surge. After some group play, which was best of 3, they switched to best of five in the semis, but this apparenty hadn't been communicated, and so as MvG (and his total nutjob of a celebrity partner - the former german Goalkeeper Tim Wiese, now known as a Wrestler and still a total douche) took the 2-0 lead.
[to be continued...]
Wyatt Green
Here, they thought they won the game, and celebrated like they just did something very relevant. It took a full minute or so until someone told them that they yet have to win another leg, and amazingly, they totally bitched out, said it was cheating, and Wiese even said something like "If this was a real game, I'd hit you in the face" to the moderator, who was struggling to keep his composure. I really was shocked. I mean, I already knew that Michael is very ambituous, but I coulnd't imagine that he has so few common sense to bith around in a fucking fun tournament. He walked around bullying the moderator, telling him "I HATE LOSING" repeatedly, and how furious he was because he still had to play another leg. It was ridiculous, I was really embarrassed by how much of a cunt MvG could be. Gando and Clown were totally comfy, hell, even Phil was cool that evening.
In conclusion, MvG lost a ton of sympathy points with me, and I won't be rooting for him any more. I always liked him as a player, but seeing him being THAT much of an asshole really was too much for me. I know I'm going to have a hard time not liking MvG for the next quarter of a century, but everytime I see him now, I will remember that evening and silently hope for his opponent to win.
Going to search for a video of that incident now, maybe they put it on the tubes...
Ignore the german talk, you can pretty much understand everthing from context, and MvG talks english anyway. After a few weeks, it doesn't look as bad as I remembered, I think there was some talk afterwards which is not in the video, but it's still bad enough.
Nathaniel Peterson
Barney Army!
Andrew Watson
>Barney on the balcony Well this is unusual.
Tyler Kelly
Lel, of course the fuckup caller is calling this match
Ian Martinez
lol Barney ignoring the question about feel
Michael Gonzalez
What was the question? Missed it.
Oliver Sanders
>ywn chill with Barney in Amsterdam, smoke weed & throw darts all day
Oh my dayz. That was during the BDO World Champs, no? A friend of mine texted me and she kept asking questions about who's a good darts player and I had no idea why until some user posted about it in the thread. Also >being suprised about MVG showing signs of autism
Oliver Moore
She asked him what he thought about Phil and his career and I think he misheard it and just kept on talking about MVG lol.
Andrew Martin
wew
Cameron Garcia
SIMPLY THE MENS
Adrian Gray
>That was during the BDO World Champs, no? Yes, I think so.
>being suprised about MVG showing signs of autism I thought he could at least spot the difference between a real competition and a fun match. Everyone else would just have laughed it off, and just play another leg - since the whole reason of this event was seeing people play, and not finishing as fast as possible. But well, he's obviuosly really limited in that area - it's not just memes.
Henry Scott
LE SPEEDY D14 MAN!
Angel Lee
NO BRAKES
>I thought he could at least spot the difference between a real competition and a fun match. Yeah lol. I watched the final on YT afterwards and the madman actually celebrated like he won an actual major tournament.
Angel Rogers
>speedy von suljovic
James Jackson
Woof
Brody Wilson
THAT BABY MAX FROM THE NONCE
Ryan Cooper
Hello yes is this the increasingly more frequent Mensur thread?
Julian Adams
>Pyke repeatedly saying "it's a completely new Suljovic" He's just sped up. Not as if he's completely changed his throw
Hudson Howard
Hello. pls chill mal.
Cooper Lee
Best pic ever, gets me everytime.
Jaxon Gutierrez
Super silky Mensur
Austin Rogers
Based Mens
Evan Gutierrez
>141 after 6 >first dart >slap bang in the middle of T1
Ian Lewis
>T1 Now that's a way to ruin a 9-darter.
Ayden Robinson
>them chebs
Based pervert cameraman
James Hill
pls just one more
Jonathan Evans
>winning the match on the D14
Jonathan Cox
>dutch nonces Mensur with a quicker throw should win over the fans a bit more.
Shame we're not going to be seeing him much on TV in the next few weeks but his reasons are understandable.
Isaiah Watson
>scottish_national_anthem.mp3
Elijah Gomez
>scottish_national_anthem.wav
Robert Campbell
>he has a teddy bear
That would be cute if he didnt use his wife as a punchbag
Josiah Mitchell
Aw shit I won't even try to beat you guys on it.
Thomas Rivera
>wadey wearing a numberplate on his shirt
Elijah Cruz
>Guess who took his meds today...
Levi Anderson
....is that a numberplate on Wade's shirt?
Andrew Nelson
>Wade missing 101 He's done
Isaiah Garcia
Probably referring to his old career as a mechanic.
Tim Wiese already learning how to be a top heel, I see.
They have something similar over here with Celebrities and BDO players, pretty entertaining even if the darts is shit.
David Taylor
Top heel is Wiese's speciality.
Jaxon Turner
Wonder if it'll be dropped now the BBC dumped the BDO.
Aiden Torres
I also initially thought that maybe it was scripted all along, but I don't think so. Wiese has always been a jerk, and since no one cares about wrestling here, there wouldn't be anything to gain on german TV. especially Michael had nothing to gain from behaving badly on stage. Just his luck that the audience was way too wasted to even care.
>They have something similar over here with Celebrities and BDO players Sounds comfy.
Oliver White
>Thornton missing big 16 Christ.
Jace Sanders
Aw shit, those were 3 unlucky misses on D8.
Thomas Ward
>43 >26 lakeside.webm
Julian Thomas
>Wade Well this is going to be an upset
Gabriel Parker
THAT FUCKING 161 TO SAVE THE MATCH
Christopher James
DAT 161
Landon Turner
DAT 161
Noah Mitchell
161 ruined him
Nicholas Green
Ya fuckin' blew it, Wade.
Hunter Howard
Good to see the OC I made years ago in the early /180/ days still going strong.
Amazing how much darts has grown even in those few years.
