I'm 34, good shape, tall, good-looking. Fucked a ton of women prior to getting married...

I'm 34, good shape, tall, good-looking. Fucked a ton of women prior to getting married. Am married now for four years to hot wife. She is 28. She is increasingly not wanting any sex. Every sexual encounter feels like she's doing a favor for me. I have a massive, unquenchable libido. Favor sex doesn't do it for me, as I want to passionately fuck someone. Do I need to cheat if she is past the point of no return? Or am I forced to live in utter pain and unhappiness for another 50 years?

You could always get a divorce.

I love her, and she's perfect in every other way

>/thread

Welcome to marriage

It's not really cheating if the other person is a guy.

Well here are your options:
a) Divorce.
b) Convince her to have more sex with you. Try being creative.
c) Convince her to let you sleep around.

Have you talked to her about the lack of sex?

Find out what she wants and why she doesn't want sex. Work on a compromise that you both like and that strengthens your relationship with her.

Yes, quite a bit. It seems to always revert back to me wanting it too much. I want it every day. Not sure if that is too much. Also, I am tall (relatively large penis) and she is short, so sex hurts her if we do it too often.

Show a pic of hot wife.

Only if you solve my problem

It is you then. Try every 3-4 days rather than every day. I know how you feel but women often can't get in the mood as much as dudes can.

d) fuck other women without her consent if she says no to c)

Don't want divorce, have tried the more-sex-talk. She'll never agree to me sleeping around. Its a conundrum

No, (d) makes you an asshole who deserves to get raped in the ass by giga-niggas.

Also married to attractive girl. She likes attention from guys looking at her, likes to know she's desired, but doesn't have a huge need for actual sex. It sucks bro, it's like having a huge pile of candy but you're not allowed unwrap it.

I just fap a fucking ton by myself in the bathroom.
>This is marriage

Dude I'm 29 and with my fiancee of 2 years, after our daughter I hardly ever get it any more.. and in all this time only ever had 1 forced blow job.. Im seriously considdering a backpage hooker or finding another discrete married dude on craigslist casual encounters just to meet up with and get my dick sucked once in a while... i feel like it would be drama free compared to keeping another woman side chick a secret.. what do :(

Oh well then. Guess you're (not) fucked.

Knock her up.
Pregnant chicks always dtf.
That don't work, sleep around.
You'll be happy
Wife won't have to give you pitty sex so she'll be happy.
Tbh she's probably fucking her negroid yoga instructor anyway so you've got nothing to lose.

left my gf cause of this

lol

Living the dream, eh. I skimmed through the OP post. All I can say is, always get as young and good-looking girlfriend as you can.

Welcome to married life. Now there are 1 of 3 things going on here.
>1. Her libido is slowing down
That's quite possible
>2. She's just not into you anymore
That's more than probable
>3. She's getting railed like the Union Pacific, by some other guy, while you bitch about her on Sup Forums
This is the most likely thing. Good luck

She's using sex as a way to control you. It's very typical of women these days. The more you crave it, the more you demand it, the less she gives it to you to keep you on your toes. She wants you begging for sex. She wants you to be the slave. She wants to own you. Look how whipped you are OP.

"she's perfect in every other way"

The reality is, no girl is perfect. But she has your drooling over her. That's how controlling she is. If she was an open and laid back chill girl, you will never feel so sex-deprived. You would never feel such an urge to cheat. People who you love, love you back. They fulfill you. Look what she's doing to you. She's putting her foot on your face. You can't make a step forward, you can't make a step backward. You are so whipped you think you will be miserable for 50 more years.

It's time to open your eyes OP.

do you love her?
is sex=love to you?
i think that you need to reconsider if you love your wife, why you married and if actually, you just want to fuck, not love

I said I love her in spite of the non-sex. But lack of sex is physically painful, especially when I have a high libido

How about communicating to your wife?

You want the solution? I've been where you are, and now I'm single. I fucked up and spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I could have prevented it.
First off, stop talking about it to her. It makes her feel pressured into sex with you, which is why it feels like she's doing you a favour. THIS IS THE KEY PROBLEM. The pressure makes her not want sex with you anymore, and from there it just becomes this constant battle.
Don't talk to her about it indirectly either - don't talk about compromise, cutting down, masturbating, not even your feelings on the subject, because just reminding her the problem exists will increase the pressure. Also no matter what either of you says, she WILL blame herself. She feels inadequate which again makes the guilt/pressure worse.
As for what to actually do, that's a bit trickier....

it's not a conundrum, it's a dead marriage. Get out before she wants kids

This is a ground rule I lay down with every woman I date: I have a high libido and it's never going away, do if you're not down with that don't date me. So far only had one girl say she was down then started putting out less and less. Talked to her about it, tried various ways to get her into it more but couldn't so I dumped her ass.

She can be perfect in every other way but when it comes down to it humans are animals, if our carnal needs aren't met then we will be unhappy. I've known many guys to take mistresses to solve this problem, but I'm a monogamous guy so its not an option for me.

Youngfags please take note: this is called an "average marriage".

How did the sex talk go?

I mentioned in a reply to another post that I have communicated this, but it comes down to the fact that I want it too much every time

Even if she did start to want it more and agree to do it more, I would hurt her with my rough, everyday fucking. So it might just be unfortunately that we are incompatible sex-wise

Try not bringing it up or alluding to it for a while. Try to be more spontaneous and romantic. Do thoughtful things, make her feel special. Excite her. Get sensual in other ways like massages and cuddling. Focus on your foreplay and take it slow, build up the tension maybe you can get her back into it.

Give it your all, but if that fails you better be man enough to be able to walk away. It doesn't matter how perfect she is otherwise you have needs and you're not a cuck (hopefully) so man up and walk away if she refuses to meet them

Sounds like you need to leave her man. Or start cheating

Stalk her when she's going somewhere suspicious, probavly fucking chad or tyrone

This. OP is a cuck he just doesn't know it yet. He probably let himself go and stopped paying attention to her except when he wants sex

She's also a massive bitch isnt she?

>oh no I would hurt her
You're just full of guilt and helplessness. She is completely in charge of you bro.

Weigh the options. Either no good sex, or find someone else. Is dating cheating? When I was a kid, that was the feeling, but now it feels like infidelity is synonymous with adultery. Start dating, and leave her if better options arrive. Don't fuck around, just pursue romantic options.

Ive done that quite a bit, and I am satisfied that this is not the case

...... what to do from here depends largely on how good your self-control is, but it's a tricky minefield to say the least. First off, jack off daily, but try to avoid porn if possible. Also don't make it too obvious to her that's what you're doing, again it'll make her feel inadequate. If you shower every day, do it then. It's important to keep that up otherwise you will suffer from growing anger and resentment (if you're not already) and that will destroy your marriage. Don't turn sex down, but don't initiate it either. Do this for about a month.
At this point it becomes about making her want to fuck you again. Don't try to go the jealousy route, that won't work because she feels inadequate. You need to remind her indirectly of why she fell in love with you in the first place, and generally how awesome you are. She will quickly reach a point where she wants you, but may lack the confidence to initiate sex with you. This is when timing is critical. Find the perfect moment, and tell her how bad you NEED to fuck her, and go in real hard with the passion but also reassurance, that you love her but more importantly that she's totally hot. Let her give in to your urgency, they love that.
From there you're back how things should be, but like another user said, daily is just unrealistic I'm afraid. Every 3 days or so is about right, if you can't handle that you might have a problem. Jack it as needed, but don't resort to porn. Any questions?

This. user is no longer masculine, no longer the leader is the relationship. He has gotten complacent, and it disgusts here

She could be considered a bitch, but she's also very good to me in all ways non-sex. For example, she cooks me dinner every night and breakfast on weekends. Very affectionate (other than sex) and loyal as well

Thanks bud. I am learning from responses that I probably want it too much. If I only had the urge every three days, things would probably be good. But since I'm always hounding, it leads to negativity when the sex actually does happen (negativity meaning I feel that it is a favor).

Would you suggest rape? Are you in a relationship?

This...

Fucking this. Fuck are you doing getting married in this day and age anyhow?

Simple, are kids important to you?

If yes, deal with it.

if no, divorce. You won't ever be satisfied.

Then she got yo ass fo dat 18 years doe! Fuck is you, stupid? You gon have to flee to Mexico and shit nigga fuck that

Don't give her dat 9 months just cuz a nigga wanna screw. Better off creepin' onna low. Ain't nobody here equipped for no kid.

Read both parts user, I know lots of people are giving advice but I'm seriously feeling this one. I'm also 34 and lost the love of my life a couple of years ago due to this EXACT problem. I've agonized over it since. This is the best advice you'll get on this problem from someone who truly understands. Trust me, don't fuck up like I did.

Dude, if shes not interested in sex it isn't a relationship. She's using you.

In a healthy relationship both partners are attracted to each other and want to have sex.

That's love though my negro.

Lol no wtf I said to act masculine not like a psycho and yes I have a GF we live together and fuck every night before bed and every morning before work then I shower and get ready while she makes breakfast for me and the kid. It's a pretty decent deal and here's how I maintain it:

1) never take her for granted. I still do the cutesy shit I did in the first few months like buying her little things I think she'd like, leaving her notes, surprising her at her business with lunch, etc.
2) I'm always the man. I'm assertive, I have clear standards/boundaries, I don't roll over for her, I take the initiative and lead on whatever action we decide to take, and in the rare cases where we don't agree on something I have the final say. I'm the leader, simple as that.
3) take her out on a date at least once a week. Keep it spontaneous, never the same thing twice. Sometimes skip a week, sometimes double up on one. Once a month take her someplace nice where we get all dressed up.
4) hold doors open, pull out chair for her, order for her when eating out.
5) take care of myself, I work out regulatory don't eat like shit and dress nice.

Basically act like an old school gentleman bitches love that shit we'll be at six years in August and still going strong

We both don't want kids

Lack of female libido is also often caused by her being on birth control. Also, stop asking for sex and go take it.

Something similar helped a bit in a past relationship of mine.

In the relationship I am now in, it is actually me who has the lowest libido (too busy at work)
However, on good days we have sex 2-6 times a day. (basically all time we are together)
We can keep this up by having sex without orgasm. For both of us this works. The one with the highest libido will at some point orgasm, but it will never really be enough for the both of us.

However, we're only 8 months together now, so everything is still easy.


Another thing that I always find very unattractive about women is when they are a complete 100% into me. It always kills my libido. And I know quite sure that it does turn a woman off when you're too much into her. Stay proud of yourself, you don't NEED her, you do her a favor too when having sex. Be proud about it.

Holy shit man if this shit is happening AND you haven't had kids @ 4 years... You should be worried.

She's probably got some serious psychological issues. If she hasn't gotten knocked up at this point she's questioning being with you.

In all seriousness you should probably ditch her before she gets pregnant and you're stuck. Getting paid in the short term isn't worth inevitably being miserable for decades, which is how things are going to end when she decides she's going to settle with how things are.

She has said this too (she's on the pill). Back when we first met she wasn't and we would fuck all the time, then after the pill it slowly declined. But I couldn't differentiate the pill from the slow increase of non-passion. Neither of us want to do the pull-out or wear condoms, and I'm not getting a vasectomy. Tough reality...

I think you are overreacting. Everything is great aside from the lack of sex. But like I said I want it every day, so maybe that is just too much for the average woman...(after 4 years of marriage and 2.5 of previous dating)

Then try something else.
The pill has many other bad side-effects. All women I've met that had stopped with it, said they really never want to go back. They feel somewhat depressed with it.

You're lucky, this might be an easy fix.

Cuck detected. Enjoy celibacy faggot

Divorce or get "rid" of her

I dunno...get real sweaty and shirtless and walk around the house fixing stuff. Throw on some shitty bitch movie. When she breaks down and finally needs the d, bite the bullet and turn it down. Basically just retrain her the way she has you trained right now.

there are other options than the pill.

Hormone spirals are THE thing here in europe. Very convenient for both.
Although a bit painful in the beginning for her.

What's wrong with vasectomy?? Serious question, I would like to know your own opinion, in case you've made some research in the matter.

She went off the pill for a little over a month, and there was no major difference. That made us think that stopping the pill wouldn't change things, but maybe one month isn't enough time for the hormonal change

I have been fucking a married woman for the last 6 or so years now. No drama. I am not married but have a girlfriend. We don't live together and the other woman is the reason. She is like a centerfold and I won't give up the weekly sex. She loves having a secret bf and being my fucktoy. Her hubby doesn't appreciate her at all. Oh well. But it can be done without drama. Just gotta keep your shit in check and know and follow the rules.

>my wife doesn't want sex
>I must cheat instead of trying to be romantic
This is why people suck.

We seriously considered the IUD, but thought that it would be the same as the pill because isn't it just delivering the same type of hormone? Also, what if it falls out or something, and doesn't it increase the risk of cancer?

My wife stopped the pill and went paragard. Night and day diff.

My uncle got one and told me in detail about the bruising and scarring, etc. That combined with the fact that I'm surgically altering my body due to no fault of mine makes it a no-go

Yeah because he hasn't tried that before dipshit

OP are you in the military? I do couples counseling and what you've said reminds me of how many military males seem to approach relationships.

No but my dad was a cop for 30 years, and I played high level football....

So she went from not wanting it to lots of wanting it with the Paragard?

The hormones are for regulating the womb, so if you insert them close to the womb, you don't need to fill the whole body up with hormones, just to let some of them reach the womb.

Also there are copper-based alternatives.

I've never heard of large cancer risks.

Have you both by agreement ruled out kids, are you just waiting, or is it ambiguous?

Do you both work regularly?

Thanks very much - we might have to try this

This is the best advice in the thread.

Daily is unusually high, at least for that many years into it. Just fap and wait for her to come onto you.

Bro, you sound like the husband that the wife snaps and murders. Doing nice things, taking her out, etc., sure. But I guarantee that "I'm the boss" shit will get old once the money/body goes away. Enjoy being cucked by the poolboy before getting shot in your own bed.

We have both ruled out kids. I work out literally every day, and she works out literally not at all

do what i do and open your relationship. let jamal fuck her while you go out and fuck hot blonds or whatever stupid shit you are into

That escalated quickly

My god, are we related?!

Asian massage parlors.
Best solution

Do you have a pic of her, so we can decide whether she is worth your attention?

Go gay. All the sex. None of the commitment.

Yes, dear father.

FUCK THIS CONNIVING BULLSHIT.

i mean hes right, the communication will spiral into her self hatred...but there's nothing worse than 'secret masturbation'. that is the absolutely most unsatisfying bullshit ever. why condemn yourself to shit cheap looking over your shoulder on eggshells faps.

i dont think there's a cure. Cheat. Make an honest loophole. or its doomed. Because she just envisions what sex is differently than you. or she not into you.

Sounds like you're doing everything right except for the, "when we don't agree it goes my way because I'm leader" part. A relationship should be pretty equal and even for the most part, but everything else sounds about right.

She doesn't work? Ruling out kids is a red flag IMO. It's to be expected from guys who have all the time in the world to have kids.

In women being totally no kids is worrying. If they aren't sure or want to delay that's nbd.

It's just a skewed power dynamic. If she's materially dependant on you and isn't putting out kids she has no security. Being a cum dumpster is going to get old. At some point efforts on your part to turn her on will just come off as patronizing.

I'm not gonna be pretentious and say your relationship can't work. I will say that childless marriges are risky af.

It's only temporary, why can't people read?

Don't have kids!

Cheat on her. Just with one woman. At first, misery, fights, all that shit. Right. I mean tell her you cheated. Don't be a beta pussy about it either. Just say it in a casual way, while having a drink, watching tv. "Sorry huh, I am a man with needs." This will test the marriage. Also, here's the deal. A lot of women after the fight, break-up, etc., actually end up respecting the guy afterward because he is able to attract women. Not the always loyal beta.

sure it is.

sure it is.

Have you tried talking to her about it?? Tell her the exact same shit you said in this post. What's she gonna do leave you? She's your wife you are supposed to be open with her

She has a job, she doesn't work out like exercise. This could also be a reason she has a low libido...

I talk to her about it literally all the time. It always comes down to I want it too much (every day). I kind of believer her because I'm literally always horny