Ask a p-psychologist anything!

Ask a p-psychologist anything!

Whether it b-be a kind word, a h-helping hand, or advice on h-how to adjust your maintaince dose of methadone, I'm h-here for you Anonymous

Why do I always feel like I'm being used, even when I'm just trying to help others out?

what philosophy do you find more interesting as it relates to psych, existentialism or phenomenology and why?

I have a question. What's wrong with your keyboard?

You now have aids, how does that make you feel¿

*blinks slowly* Can you g-give me an example?

hi alice

I d-don't find philosophy interesting

N-nothing

H-hello, good m-morning, how are you d-darling?

Does this look infected to you?

I'm n-not a physician, s-sorry

feeling like my usual robot self, and you?

L-like I wish I could sleep another f-four hours or so.

not a psychologist detected

S-sorry, I'm a neuropsychopharmacologist n-not a philosopher

Hi Alice!!
I love to end my worknight here in your thread!

were you up late again?

Why can I only cum when I fantasize about rape?

I j-just couldn't sleep well.

I love it as w-well

I have a question. Why does a psychologist type in s-studders? Fuckin weeb

this might sound silly but have you tried melatonin?

How can somebody stutter while typing? Is that some kind of joke I don't get or are you just retarded?

Why is my only aspiration in life to trudge through life until I hit 30 and then becoming an hero?

If one anti depressant medication doesn't work, should I try another after I've given it a fair chance?

>inb4 consult your doctor

B-because it is a homage to a p-person who posted on Sup Forums in 2008

I d-don't know, can you t-tell me more?

Yes, absolutely, b-but you also must consult your doctor and c-carefully titrate down off of one t-then up off the other.

Switching quickly can cause all kinds of unpleasant results.

What m-medication are you currently taking? An adjunct m-medication may improve its effects

I figured as much... hope you have a nice nap or something to make up for it later

wat do if psychoopath?

I don't know how to start things really but I guess I just want to get better?

Why are my fetishes all over the top? It's all hyper-stuff that isn't physically possible in real life.

What more do you want to know? I had thought it was a fairly forward question.

Go t-to a doctor and get into therapy.

*wraps her arms around you tightly* W-well Anonymous, first t-tell me how things are bad and w-we can work on making t-them better

It r-really isn't. Why d-do you feel that way, Anonymous? Why 30?

What's unemployment like?

Can I pay you for a 30 minute therapy session?

D-do you mean being out of a j-job or unemployment benefits?

yes it would be, so make sure you get one
doctor's orders

Being out of a job

Hey Alice~ hope you have a good day

Why do you type like that you fucking mongol?
is it to piss me off?

>B-because fetishes develop at random

N-no dear, but you are f-free to talk to me any time

Is it bad that I allow women to fall in love with me, then dump them when I get bored?

how much for sucky sucky?

I j-just said at random. And n-no, not if you expose yourself to more real world interactions and fetishes.

I suggest taking up a stockings fetish.

Morning Alice. I am just here to say hi I am about to leave for work.

Everything just feels like I'm working towards nothing anymore. I have goals I want to reach but in the end they don't really mean anything.
I feel like it's related to breaking up with my gf a few years ago and not really knowing how to like someone else as much/being able to connect with anyone..

Yes.

20,0000 USD

Why do I feel that way? Why does anyone feel the way they feel? I'm not the psychologist here. I chose thirty because it seems like a reasonable point in time, half to a third way through my life.

Do you accept gifts? Or anything like that?

*waves*

S-sounds like anhedonia; have you b-been to a doctor?

What if it makes me feel good?

yes, I am now your personal sleep doctor
take one to three naps a day as needed

I don't blame you if you don't remember, but I'm taking the trintellix samples for about a little over a week. I noticed it's tried to help a little regulating my sleep schedule, but only had a couple days of a few negative side effects. Other than that, there's been no change/difference. I'm suppose to notice a few improvements the first couple weeks, but for more of my issues I think it would take longer.

Low dosage, not willing to take anything higher than that. I have more to say but I'll just keep it at that unless you care to know more.

>20,0000 USD
Not that user but I'd hope to get a lot more from you for that much

You would suck a strangers cock for 20 grand?

>I suggest taking up a stockings fetish.
But that's lame

*blinks* W-what do you mean, a reasonable point in time? You s-still haven't explained why 30, that's a r-really specific timeline.

Why w-would anyone want to give me gifts?

Worse.

Do you charge for financial advice? I don't wanna take your time without giving anything back

Alice, why do I feel awful whenever I find a group of people I enjoy?
Why do I distance myself from anyone I feel like I could be friends with? I just get anxious and feel like I don't belong.. or like people are judging me. I'm either dead silent or a chatterbox

Oh t-the Vortioxetine, that t-takes weeks to kick in dear. You n-need to wait like, 2-3 weeks.

You w-would not

Not for a checkup of some sort, the last time I went it was to remove a mole they thought was cancerous(it wasn't) and the time before that I don't remember, probably over a decade ago when I was like 8
I still get pleasure sexually though I can't say much else

Would you like to be a mother someday?

Aww.. I just wanted you!

>20,0000 USD
why the fuck would I pay 20k for a dumb whore?
sucky sucky 10 bucky is what I say

Uhm. I d-don't actually know if I can, I'm n-not a CPA or investor.

I'd be happy to help you out in any way I can though.

Your last s-sentences answer your first ones: You have an anxiety disorder. Talk to your doctor, g-get a referral to a psychologist for CBT, clear that up, you'll b-be right as rain

What is that 12 kDa MW band in my SDS-PAGE and why is it orange on my western blots? It was nickel affinity his tagged purified, if that helps

What is your job?

Because you've helped me with my mental issues in the past

You should p-probably be a doctor.

I'm n-not able to

I w-work as a financial engineer, helping t-to make the markets safer.

Then use that m-money to further your life, Anonymous

yes

Alice are you one of those persons whose only aspiration in life is to constantly help others (and forget your own issues)?

It's half to a third way through my life. If I haven't found something that keeps me entertained for more than a year by then, I highly doubt I will find anything after. Chose thirty because it's devisable by 2, 3, 5, 6, 10, and 15, plus the above about it being half way.

You think? I'm on fluoxetine for anxiety and it helps my panic attacks but not socialization. I hope I can look into CBT soon.
In the mean time is there anything I can do to help people around me understand why I am the way I am? Last time I tried to explain my anxiety to a group of friends they started a conspiracy that I wanted to be crazy.. i don't even think I'm crazy, I just can't function normally

>*shrugs*
Okay

oh well...what about a good beating for 100 bucks?
I guess you would like that.

Is it not human nature to become bored with a romantic partner?

My parents have told me that, though I assume you meant to see one not be one.

>I w-work as a financial engineer, helping t-to make the markets safer.
Also are you one of those people who makes my job easier but also more sufferable sometimes?

>that t-takes weeks to kick in dear.
I know, but from what I've been told there are a few things the medication helps in the first couple weeks and more intense issues can take 6-8 weeks to take full effect. And that the first few weeks are a sign that the medication will actually help. I guess we'll see. Thanks!

Would you raise a child that wasn't your own?

N-no, I've got plenty of aspirations

Are your cock in balls or nutbar? Lol

I w-would give it a week or so longer, then c-contact your doctor

I'm a b-biological female dear.

But you sure as hell need a good beating

I probably should but I wouldn't actually go unless it was someone like you tbh
I'm a day trader, mainly deal with penny stocks

>Unless you have serious side effects, then contact them immediately.
apart from all my finger nails falling off and not sleeping in the past 5 days I haven't really noticed anything too bad.

Why is that? Taking fluoxetine helps me with the panic attacks that were stopping me from being able to work, and if I dont work I can't pay for therapy. It certainly makes my emotions more managable, but I almost don't care to socialize anymore. I'm at the point where I wonder if I could just get by only knowing people as acquaintances

Would you accept a gift card then?

Yo alice when we gonna see some feet?

Fuck you Alice.

You always come on Sup Forums, impersonating a psychologist, giving somewhere between bad and dangerous advice. Then you have these loser anons orbiting around you like flies on shit because many of them need to seek actual help.

As someone who actually holds a formal education in psychology and actually has done clinical work I can you're full of bologna. What you're doing is not only unethical but illegal.

I hope one day you have the balls to stop shilling for attention and just keep to your work as a lousy programmer.

You sound like you need to get out more

And y-yet, I will not get one

I may have just been having a problem with paranoid delusions. On and off I have issues of 'hearing' my friend's individual voices in my head being contrary to what their actions and words suggest. This has been going on for a long time. My girlfriend's I love yous are empty. While working I hear my best friend get asked if he felt sorry for my situation, he said 'no'. Just watching me go fucking insane. I am already a huge asshole so they all dislike me from the get go. I actually am quite afraid I am attatched by strings. Not to mention I and everyone else is pretty sure my girlfriend is a cheater too. Long story short. A reeeeeeaaaaaallly long two weeks.

Hey Alice. Why is it when I drink coffee I feel anxious and sad? -Caska

Are you Alice? Why do you come back 2 Sup Forums?

B-because coffee is a stimulant; it causes anxiety.

I am Alice and b-because it is my home

She does make a pretty good point to not give solid diagnoses and instead gives people resources to better their mental health.. that alone is good, but I think a lot of people come here expecting actual therapy so she has to balance giving people resources and being compassionate

Thats just my perspective.