ITT: We nerf each others' superpowers

ITT: We nerf each others' superpowers
>Ability to conjure anything in my pants out of thin air
>Pic related

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=p8XKhCfsTts
youtube.com/watch?v=gzxQgRbTesA
twitter.com/AnonBabble

its always very sharp and always next to your cock and balls.

>can turn invisible

But only when nobody's around

>can read minds

But only of people with schizophrenia

>Can turn anything i want into solid gold

But only on Tuesdays between 7-8 in the morning

>can travel through time to whenever I want

Always ems up back in the civil war
> thought manipulation

But only by drinking a liter of bat urine

>Can fly

But only by plucking hairs off ball sack

Only by maintain eye contact from half and inch away

into buildings

>make a really good pasta sauce

Ability to perfectly emulate anyone else's voice

The mob breaks your legs every week for stealing their sauce recipe

Ability to mind control crowds

Only at funerals

>Able to cure disease

You have to drink said persons cum
>Can duplicate objects

You go insane in the process due to your mind pinging too many ports

but only in german
>x-ray vision

You have to emulate your own too.

Only can duplicate object that are in 3 foot deep of your colon

But you receive the disease and can't cure yourself

>dont need to sleep anymore and can't get tired from it

Now permanently confined to a wheelchair
>Has super strength

By becoming jewish

You have to drink one 5 hour energy every 5 hours

But not your own

>Can turn into a fish

but has ED

>negromancy

Negromancy

Get cancer in the process

They will always chimp out after

>can go on a one man war path like the punisher

Wait what, negromancy?

You have to supply them with fried chicken and koolaid

But you we feel the pain of every shot

Does Not have invulnerability, the force will hurt your own body.
>can use the internet in my head.

Only if the person has the downs

>Able to run at extreme speeds

You have to tell anyone who asks what you are currently browsing

>my farts smell of lavander

No wifi

You can only eat chili dogs and have to collect a single ring each day at the least. You lust for more rings

No protection, dust in the air can kill you if going too fast.

You shit poison ivy

i said brows the internet kek. that just removes the entire power.

but your breath will always smell like farts

>can predict the future

But only while jacking off.

>Can magically create anything I want

You must shove plants up your ass every hour.

>can survive in space.

at the speed of old 56k modem and every time you want to use the power you need to sing out loud youtube.com/watch?v=p8XKhCfsTts
>Power to make perfect copy on any object

But you can't remember the past

As long as you can memorise the entire atomic structure of what you want to make.

>can Travel through time.

But only on a dry land and near cats

Only once

>>Can turn anything i want into solid gold

hyperinflation caused by rampant abuse of this power drives down the price of gold, making it virtually worthless

Blood comes out every time you fart
>Irresistible to women

Must eat the object you want to recreate.

>can see everything in the universe.

but only in 1 minute intervals

>can sense danger

but can't focus on any one thing at once

>>Irresistible to women

some women have dicks

You have ED

Can sense All danger to everything ever all at once.

>always looks good

I was hoping someone would asnwer with this.

youtube.com/watch?v=gzxQgRbTesA

But only when you're asleep.

But it will turn to shit in one hour.

But only obese women

Anyone in a 2 mile radius goes blind

No controll over anything you conjer up

super human strength

But you have no arms.

>Ability to shapeshift into any animal

Only works on things under 1kg

Paraplegic.

Can only transform into a female in heat

Only when tired as hell.

>I can shoot with any gun without ever it running out of ammo

So can he be an incredibly malnourshed bear or only things that would reasonably weight a kilo?

It will always miss

I HAVE A 600 INCH PENIS

I dont see any problems with that

That wouldn't be so bad, just flick pennies and shit at mach 3

Only fits 600 inch vaginas

you're impotent

Your ugly as fuck.

>i can grow and shrink at will, infinitely.

I have a 600 inch vagina

NICE

It's only that size when you rape someone.

>You can throw things at supersonic speeds

It has teeth

You have no other limbs or senses.

Only one body part at a time

you have to star in shitty movies with Rick Moranis

You cant.

But once you to either shrink or grow, you're stuck with it and you must shrink into a building size or an ant.

Shrinking will cause memory loss & growing will cause painful migraines.

You cannot chose your height

>Can call a drone strike upon any location with any payload below 50KT

happy with that ;)

the constant exposure to sonic booms has left you completely deaf

Can expertly play any instrament I pick up

In the name of Allah

amnesty international and the ICC accuse you of war crimes and you are taken to the Hague and hanged

You discover 'instrament' isn't a real thing and your chosen power is useless

Can only play nickelback

power to make people shit their pants wherever they are.

You bastard

you can only play polkas

You have to be touching their anus

but you will also shit your pants in the process

everybody gets explosive diarrhea and shits all over you

no my dudes it's psychic

>be New Zealander
>ICC
>first thing that pops up in my head is cricket

Any instruments you pick up turn to gold while they are in your hands. Golden instruments look nice but have terrible acoustics