Enter bedroom

>enter bedroom
>see this
>do what?

Where the fuck is that sandwich?

do a 360 and walk away

kick in face because it`s some polish whore

>Drop to my knees
>Bury face in that ass

Threaten to call the police if she doesnt give me 500$ that I need to upgrade my PC. She did commit burglary after all

bury face? not penis?

when did my room have an upstairs?

face first, then penis

makes more sense.
anal penetration or hot doggin?

>stumble upon the weight of my healthy body
>set eyes on this beautiful lady, keep eye contact for 5 seconds
>sweat rolls down my face as it usually does
>the odor of cheetos and piss fills the room
>begin raise my hand, everything is slow motion at this point
>she looks in utter shock clearly intimidated by my manly body and beard
>my spongebob square pants collectors edition keychain seductively swings in front of my massive body
>a fart starts at this point exhaling death at a constant rate
>she is now clearly horrified, got a blanket to cover herself and is screaming something inaudible
>i take another step, the ground is shaking under my manly manly feet
>my hand finally reached my pocket to retrieve a custom mlp vape
>she is holding pepper spray at this point backing against a wall, tears rolling down as she tries to communicate
>take the most massive hit that humanity has ever seen of the vape
>people in a radius of 3 miles go unconcious because they simply don't have any more air to breathe
>put the vape back into the cargo pants because a real gentleman has his hands free for a woman
>she just screams at this point and sprays away
>raise my hand again, not to hit her - a gentleman would NEVER hit a woman, but to caress my patchy neckbeard
>the constant flow of gas exiting from my anus stops the pepper spray entirely reflecting it onto her
>she crawled together in a corner of a room, she knows she's defenseless, so i'm here to protect her
>i bethink of all the noble heros and knights who are watching me at this point, as i will be a prime example of chivalry
>she opens her still pepper spray covered eyes in pure terror, the adrenaline made her forget about the pain
>i tip my fedora and say "my lady"
>she just shits her pants and cries away
>after i've left i hear what may have been a gunshot
>she probably shot in the air to salute my heroic ways

Immediately ejaculate into your pants

>play vidya and tell her she can watch me playing

Or this

leave the room, fuck your mom in her bum

Question why there is suddenly a stairwell in my bedroom.

Ask when the fap thread is

Wake up

Check my map because I'm clearly walking in circles.

Ask her why there are stairs in my bedroom

Realize that's not my room but still smash.