You awake to the sounds of birds cooing as you gather yourself mentally and look around your surroundings. you are deep in the heart of some kind of forest, your eyes affix to the fresh twilight of the setting sun.
"It will be dark soon", you think to yourself.
Around you is a moss-covered sign post and what appears to be an armor-clad corpse off in the brush. What do you do?
read the sign, loot the corpse
Perception check the corpse
The obvious
Rolling for crab people appear
Remove armor from corpse. Dismember corpse. Start fire. Enjoy meal of deceased knight. Sleep through night. Put on armor. Finish knight for breakfast. Walk out of there like a fucking boss.
>Check corpse
>Flip it over and fuck it
>Because its will be dark soon and nobody is around
You attempt to read the sign, it is old beyond repair as the faint lettering makes out "Rimton Settlement, South" and "Edgetown, North"
The armor on the body was corroded and worn, still usable, but cumbersome and warped from time. You also discover 7gp, a small steel dagger, and a rolled up scroll, complete with an official wax seal.
Take all the items and equip them and then cut a small hole into the sign with the dagger where you stick your dick in.
reroll pls
why arent there dubs here
Fuck the Corpse
last time i beg for dubs
You abandon all the items and go north
Re-Roll
You equip the most serviceable pieces of armor from the corpse, cut a shoddy hole into the sign and insert yourself into the post of the sign. Discomfort overcomes you as splinters pierce the soft skin of your shaft, yet some odd urge to continue drives you forward.
In the mist of your timber fornication you hear the vague noise of footsteps coming up the path.
Open the letter
Run Towards the other way
With full belly of knight. Pocket gold and dagger. Can't read so I open scroll. Beat my meat until I cum all over it. Wad up and throw at knight skeleton. Uneducated Sociopath''s are easy to RP.
Attack the source of noise
Re-Roll
Majority seems to want to approach the noise
So you withdraw your girth from the signpost and ready your dagger, from the path ahead of you comes a peasant, hauling a cart of fruit, he seems elderly at first, and has a slight limp to his walk. It could be because of his age or poor eye sight but he hasn't noticed you yet as he nears.
Hide in bushes. Ambush old lumpy man. Rape him till I cum. Cut his throat. Strip him of all his belongings. Throw his corpse in ditch. Leave with cart.
commit sudoku with dagger in chest infront of the old lumpy man
>sudoku
noice
I vote we sneak up on the old man and tickle the shit out of him while whispering "jibberjibberjibberjibber" like some kind of fungus-brained creepazoid
I already came on paper so sudoku isn't possible. Plus no pencil to make puzzle.
Throw my dagger at him
Cut off penis with dagger. Trade it for a banana from the fruitseller
With ease you slip into the cover of shade cast by the twilight and hide in a bush, as the lumpy old man approaches you make your move, you leap out onto the man causing him to scream in pain as a cracking sound, possibly indicative of a fractured joint, fills the forest air.
You pull down his cloth trousers and insert yourself raw into him, it is not long before his screams fall to silence as he passes out from pain. You stand up when you are done and reach down and slit the old man's throat, then throw him into the bushes.
The old man's possessions were limited to the burlap clothes and rope belt he was wearing, as well as some now bruised and battered fruit. It is now well past dark outside, what do you do next?
Inventory:
Dagger
Scroll
Bruised Fruit x3
Lumpy man's clothes
7gp
Insert fruit into anus, read scroll
Make camp for the night. Build fire. Dismember lumpy. Have feast of old raped man. Fall asleep. (Guess you want us to keep scroll so I get it off skeleton and wipe splooge off and put in pocket )
You take a moment to insert one of the large fruits into your ass before harvesting the fresh, still warm from life, meat from the old lumpy man. As you pull his flanks apart with your dagger you realize his pruned shit would stretch perfectly to make a nice tent to spend the night in. You sit by the fire wiping splooge off of the scroll, in doing so you notice the seal is not properly affixed to the letter as if it had been opened before.
"why not? I've come this far" you think to yourself as you carefully open up the paper.
Inside lays glimmering text, outlined by the flickering of the flame, it reads
"Be you courageous, strong? Agile or cunning?"
Inventory:
Dagger
Scroll
Bruised Fruit x2
Lumpy man's clothes
7gp
2lbs old man meat
Ass inventory:
Bruised fruit x1
Pruned skin* dont know how that corrected to shit
Jack off and sleep until 3:30 AM
yell out cunning as fuck in your old lumpy tent
do it
As I read the scroll I allow my ass to relax hoping to enjoy the fruit as a warm after dinner dessert. With the scroll still in hand I slide my body underneath the old man skin tent. And choose strength a's my word. Also want to masturbate.
"CUNNING AS FUCK" you scream out into the night from the comfort of your lumpy tent, the scroll catches fire with a brilliant blue flame. You drop the scroll on the ground out of instinct, taken aback by the sudden burst of magical pyre. The fire then fades as quickly as all that remains are ashes, curious you investigate and find a shimmering silver ring inside the ashes, engraved on the front of the ring is a depiction of a cunning fox.
You crawl back into the comfort of your tent with the ring in hand and rub a quick one out.
Inventory:
Dagger
Scroll
Bruised Fruit x2
Lumpy man's clothes
7gp
2lbs old man meat
Ass inventory:
Bruised fruit x1
Shit Bruised fruit
Insert ring in anus
Go to sleep
Force ring onto penis.
Make a good torch from leftover human fat and rags and a solid log.
Arm self with dagger and decide to venture further up the path to see if I can get a view of any villages or camps nearby
Travel North along path previously mentioned
cock ring it and go north awaiting the next weary traveler
You empty your cavernous bowels of the now body temperature fruit. You attempt to fit the rink onto your penis but its outstandingly average size does not let the ring on past the head. You decide instead to put the ring up your ass for safe keeping. It fits snug inside your rectum but seems to provide no effect this way. You gear up, make a torch from the lumpy leftovers of the man and with your trusty dagger and ass-ring you head up the path. So far it is quiet but after a mile or two you see a distant outcropping of a small village.
Inventory:
Dagger
Scroll
Bruised Fruit x2
Lumpy man's clothes
7gp
2lbs old man meat
Torch
Ass inventory:
Strange Ring
shit out ring and put on your finger without removing the excess duke from it and run all the way to the village
go to the village with the ass-ring and look around
love these threads
You void the ring from your bowels and slip it onto your finger, the engraving seems to sparkle for just a fleeting second before going dull again, you feel smarter and more perceptive. (WIS +1)
You sprint into the village, straw roofs and gravel pave ways surround you, there is an Inn, a Blacksmith, a General Store, and a Stable. However due to the time of night all the businesses and homes are closed.
Forgot pic
into the stable to sleep you go
Go to the inn, get close to the most friendly-looking lad and try to iniciate a conversation
Passing by the inn you notice there is not much lively action happening at this time of night, through the windows you see but only the Innkeep working the bar and a single server cleaning tables.
"Nothing wrong with saving a few gold on a room" you think as you head to the stables for a comfy straw nap. There are no animals in the Stable right now, could be indicative of hard times for these simple village folk.
go to sleep
find a nice straw pad to sit crisscross apple sauce on until daytime
You lay down on the straw pile and have a nap. You sleep soundly and deeply with a belly full of old man flesh.
However not all seems calm, for in your sleep you are troubled by horrible dreams, visions of an elderly woman's face embedded in the bark of a great white oak tree, screaming out for release.
You awake to the sound of commotion in the town square, sounds like guards are starting formation and marching down the gravel path, you strain your eyes through the bright, glaring morning sun and see the sights match the sound, as about 17 armed guards, clearly from out of town are marching in formation around the town asking citizens questions. Any other details are too far away to determine from your distance.
sneaky snake up and see what the problem officers is
The guards have spread out into several groups of 3 around the town, they are questioning townsfolk about recent disappearances around the town, people go into the woods and never return, trade routes have come to a halt and the townspeople only suffer the more for it. Truely these are dark times for the simple folk trying to carve out a life here.
The closest group of guards are consoling a crying old lumpy woman and her granddaughter by the inn. She is weeping deeply and giving the guards all the information on her missing husband she can as the taller guard writes it down on a parchment pad.
Eat quickly all the bruised fruits, even the shitty one, and hide the old man clothes under the straw pile.
Try to leave the stable as sneaky as possible
you quickly devour all the fruit, and lick your lips as you devour the fermented ass fruit. You stuff away the old mans clothes but before you could get out of sight a guard appears behind you
"Citizen, where are you headed? You seem like a fresh face in this crowd, we've questioned almost everyone here about the disappearances. What do you know about the occurrences over the past few nights?"
Inventory:
Dagger
Scroll
7gp
2lbs old man meat
Ring
Ass inventory:
You tell him, I am but a traveling bard, then proceed to sing awfully
"I was just looking for a place to stay for the night, sir, but I'm too poor to pay for a room. I'm coming from the north and traveling to the south, looking for a job... a friend of mine told me there are some opportunities down south, sir, do you know of any around here?"
The soldier looks at you after hearing you story, He looks past you with a grim expression.
"I'm afraid access to most ports or villages, has been restricted since the disappearances. The mine has even closed down, There isn't much work for an outlander to do around here. I'd check the general shop during the day."
"thanks, sir" go to the general shop
You bid the guard farewell and slip away to the General Store, still shaking from the adrenaline high from almost getting caught with the dead man's possessions.
Inside the General store is a tall lanky man with a long white beard and a flowing robe, topped with a typical wizard's hat.
"Greetings, feel free to browse, I potions available in all of the 3 primary potion colors!"
"Hello, gentleman, I'm looking for a job, do you happen to know about any around here? I'm afraid after the recent events I can't leave the town and I can't afford a room at the inn, so the only payment I need for the moment is a comfy bed... well, it doesn't have to be that comfy"
"Ah, yes, the missing persons, A great deal has changes here since those foolish outlanders came here and opened up that cursed mine. I'm not sure what's down there, but it's just outside of town, to the east and through the gnoll camps. If you disperse this cleansing powder near the entrance to the there will be more than a bed as reward."
The wizard holds out a burlap bag full of cyan glowing powder. He then furrows his brow,
"And make sure to keep it away from whatever enchantment is on that foul ring of yours, dont think that would have slipped by me, traveler. The magic reactions could be... volatile."
"volatile huh... can I use your bathroom?"
go to the bathroom and put the ring inside my anus, then grab the powder and ask for tips and more info about this grolls "can they be reasoned with?"
With expertise and switch hands you shove the ring back into the comfortable nook deep inside your ass.
"As for the gnolls, they are an unruly and surly bunch. They don't stand to reason and act on aggression alone. However their attention spans are short and they are distracted easily. Some meat from the in could be fermented and used as bait? I doubt that could move an entire camp in one go but it could certainly thin their numbers in theory."
"alright, wish me luck"
I say, before leaving, and I head to the inn
Unfortunately this thread went on for way longer than I initially planned. I have to head off, If anyone is still interested I can start this thread up again later or even in a group chat. Its been real everyone!
start it from here whenever you can man, I was getting excited, cheers