My college orientation was every bit as awkward as I expected it to be, I can already see people trying extra hard to be fake and nice because they think I'm socially retarded(which I guess I am?)
I can be a dick and act alpha just fine but when it comes to being nice or having any form of normal convo without cursing I'm completely and totally lost. Friends of the few close friends I have all see me as an alpha dickhead and look up to me to some extent which I'm fine with, then when I try to normally relate to anyone I cringe the whole time and feel their dislike growing. The only place I've fit in at all is military school because everyone's a cunt there and I had the opportunity to start fights and be a dick right off the bat, normal highschool was completely miserable because I spent the whole day trying not to put a curse word in every single sentence or insult people which led to me completely stifling myself making everything more awkward. How do stop being fucking retarded Sup Forums?
Also who's the fucker in the pic just looking at him makes me depressed
My college orientation was every bit as awkward as I expected it to be...
Pretty much this but I have to be drunk too, I just hate most people.
im kinda like that too, i mean im naturally a bit of a dickhead and just an all around asshole, i always look pissed off and i hate everything, i was born that way and i cant change that, when i try to be "normal happy always smiling guy" i end up coming across a beta loser, idk maybe im just autistic or something
i mean coming across as a beta loser
Why does it make you depressed? He looks pretty happy to me.
people are nice at college orientation because everyone feels new and weird. It is a bit unsettling. Don't assume people are being nice to you because you are a fuckhead or something.
> I cringe the whole time and feel their dislike growing
look college is your best chance to become a new person. You are finally growing up mentally, like your brain is finally fully developing. You can become a different person if you really want to.
Maybe try to be less of a dick? less angry/scared ? If you grew up around people who were verbally rude/agressive all the time ( like my family ) it is easy to be like that - always cutting people down, talking shit, insulting because that is what we did. it was literally how we said hello, was to take a crack at someone.
It took a while, but by surrounding myself by people who weren't fuckheads, learning to say "sorry", and genuinely wanting to change... I was able to become a better person.
I still catch myself, and it has been years. like, I'll make fun of people for no fucking reason. "teasing" or whatever, right? but if someone teases me, I'm coming back at them 100% percent ready to fight.
So yeah. change takes time.
>happy
Take another look, you can see the pain of a thousand lifetimes from looking like a literal ogre
yeah, that photo hurts me.
and my college orientation was gay
Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone
Gazing at the people down below me
All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone
Hungry for the histories they show me
Alcohol makes me legitimately laugh at people's shitty jokes but only if I'm close to blackout levels, drugs to the other way and make me an overly compassionate emo but I always cringe at myself after and I can tell it lowers people's opinion of me
Looks like Travis Bowdish.
All my life I memorize their faces
Knowing them as they will never know me
All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day
Not above them,
But part of them...
MOTHERFUCKER he does look like Quasimodo I couldn't place it
>I always cringe at myself after and I can tell it lowers people's opinion of me
you probably hang out with faggots, who think you are "alpha" because you are a dick to them.
And out there
Living in the sun
Give me one day out there
All I ask is one
To hold forever
Out there
Where they all live unaware
What I'd give
What I'd dare
did disney really make a movie about a retard?
Just to live one day out there
Out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives
Through the roofs and gables I can see them
Every day they shout and scold and go about their lives
Heedless of the gift it is to be them
O fuck poor guy
If I was in their skin
I'd treasure ev'ry instant
Out there
Strolling by the Seine
Taste a morning out there
Like ordinary men
Who freely walk about there
Just one day and then...
>WTF???
Watches at 0 $?
I swear I'll be content
With my share
Won't resent
Won't despair
Old and bent
I won't care
I'll have spent
One day
Out there...
That's literally almost everyone, most people are posers and can't tell the difference. Alpha is subjective anyway and anyone can be "alpha" momentarily
I feel bad for this dude. I mean, most ugly people can lose weight, dress better, get in shape, etc. and they'll look at leastpassable. This dude is irredeemably ugly. Like. Even hookers probably wouldn't fuck him because they'd think he has some sort of disease. Dude doesn't have a single attractive feature. Must have a rough life.
That dog is his only friend
Ohh so I'm not the only autist with this condition, same exact shit here. When I try to fit in I go from sexually aggressive loud white guy to computer coding future school shooter
Looks like a legitimately cool guy though I'd grab a beer with him up in the bell tower
...
>Even hookers probably wouldn't fuck him
Disagree there. If he was filthy rich, he'd get pussy left and right either way.
He most likely isn't tho, and probably never will be either, so yeah. Shit must suck.
>no response
Yeah he's poor and lives in Wyoming, even says "no collage" in his bio. Probably didn't want to go through the experience he had in highschool again
The best thing you could ever do is actually listen to what people are talking about and try to have a genuine interest in their stories. Don't drown out their words with thoughts about what you want to say next or interrupt them with whatever convo you are dying to say. Let them speak, comment on what they said in a positive manner = make friends / fuck girls. Is this your freshmen year? Must be if its orientation. The first month of college freshmen year is the most important socially. Bonds and packs get made. First couple weeks are a free for all when it comes to making friends and fucking chicks after that people get into groups and clicks, if you didn't make one it gets harder for you.
>don't drown out their words with thoughts about what you want to say next
This is exactly what I do because I've been in many situations where I had no response so I stared at them for 10+ seconds and made a choked frog noise trying to say something. Shit was pic related