Hello guys...

Hello guys. I have been going to the Sup Forums for a long time and I see that there are all kinds of things and today I come here to tell my story. Sorry for my bad English, I'm Brazilian.

Let's start at the beginning, I had a troubled childhood, my parents did not worry much with me when I was a child, those who looked after me were my grandchildren who even had food to take me so I would not go hungry. My father was always very military, he never gave me a hug, he told me a thank you or happy birthday, he only charged me to be good at everything and he kept asking me for favors 24 hours a day. As for my mother, she did not care much about me, and consequently I became a fearful and depressed child, had several problems with schools and friends, I did not like anything but my toys. I developed the panic syndrome where it always started out of the house, I had to fight a lot to overcome it, my family did not understand how much I was afraid and suffered when I was away from them. Gradually I was growing up, and this was improving, my parents had 3 more children and with that I think that responsibility weighed more on their heads and thus improved in the matter of having to support a family, my mother was showing more loving and affectionate with Time, but my father became worse every day, as he always only charged me, favors and never wanted a thank you, until he hit me a few times and what he did most since when I met by people was psychological, psychological pr Cursed, threatened me, and could only say how bad I was and snub me. I think that has influenced a lot in my life and even today influences. I see people do not respect me and believe my words, I try to be the best I can, but I always end up suffering for it. You will understand why. I am 29 years old now, I have had several jobs, cars and girlfriends, but today I am unemployed and in tears.

At age 19 I had my first girlfriend, where I discovered that I put anyone in front of me, I stop living my life to live the one I love and I surrender completely, after 2 years of relationship my girlfriend travels to the And to not extend the story much I discovered that she had betrayed me, as soon as she returned to Brazil, we fought and ended the relationship. I was paranoid, I went into depression and it took me 1 year to start recovering, soon after I finished the depression I started to evolve as a man, I got a job where I received very well and I could enjoy adolescence at parties and cars. I was single until I was 23 years old and met my second girlfriend. And I really discovered what real love was, at first everything was beautiful, we liked company and caring for each other, but soon after the second year it started to get worse, discussions were constant, indifference took over Tell me about it and for one day she made me a call where I was with my friends, she speaks to me screaming, curses me and after that turns off the phone. A few minutes later I get her call for help where she could barely tell where she was or if she wanted what was happening. Arriving at the place I discover that she had turned a box of antidepressants and was coming to my house, but during the way she passed badly and hit the car. Like a rocket I went to her, I helped her, I took her to the hospital where the doctor told me that she had a great chance of dying, because she had ingested lots of medicine. After the washing procedure, she woke up 30 hours after the accident, very weakened but alive.

I thanked God very much, stayed almost all night praying that God would help her or change my life for her. As she got better, leaving the hospital we continued talking and settled for a while. Two more years of dating passed and next to my birthday she broke up with me, claiming that we no longer had love and how to continue a troubled and uninteresting relationship on both sides. In December of 2015 I quit my job, with that began to unleash several things in my life, my parents no longer got along well and separated, my father was fighting with everyone in my house, humiliated his children and especially my mother With fights, screams, taunts and threats, and with that they broke up a little before I quit my job. My mother developed deep depression and stopped developing life, only does what is necessary and does not take pleasure in anything else. Soon after my dog, a German shepherd who grew up with me and was my best friend for many years had a cancer of the ovary diagnosed, I did my best to make her healthy, I took her to several veterinarians and they said that if the cancer were removed she would be Good, and that's what I did, right after the surgery she had a brief improvement, but soon after her breasts inflamed and she started to get worse and was diagnosed with tick disease, which strikes the blood and organs and when in an afternoon I was with her going to the vet as routine for her to be medicated, she passed away, on a sunny afternoon when she stopped breathing I looked through the window and the sun shone, I looked back at her and suddenly it started to rain, for A minute, as if she were leaving and saying goodbye like the rain, which always passes and after that one minute the sun returned to shine strong. And she was preparing me for something much worse.

My grandfather, who raised me all my life, was having problems urinating, and after going through some doctors it was discovered a bladder cancer, where this cancer was diagnosed as malignant and after being removed it spread, was hospitalized for several days in the Hospital where he had chemotherapy, I stayed several nights helping him because I was very weak and could barely move, in the mean time he could barely pronounce what he needed, but one fine day when I arrived, he told me sorry for not being able to stay with you, soon After lying down, at that moment things only got worse, and for once again it surprises me, I was giving food from morning to dawn and barely able to speak or breathe asked me, are not you hungry? Unable to answer said, I have eaten, now who has to eat is you, to stay strong and improve. Soon after that day he had a great worsening and died. Soon after this happened, my old girlfriend returned to talk with me, we went out a few times and made a trip to the other side of Brazil, everything was happening in a fantastic way, we were loving and enjoying a lot, until one night I decided to move in Her cell phone and I discovered that she had betrayed me, just before we had finished our relationship before the new year, she had gone out with the old boyfriend, my life had collapsed again, she was sleeping, I woke up, I asked about everything , She confirmed and decided to return to my house. I tried to erase all the memories of her, but soon after 1 week she wrote me several emails explaining everything that had happened, saying that she regretted it so much and that she wanted another chance.

I know that before ending our relationship I failed many times with her, I paid no attention, I stopped going out with her to go out with my friends, I hurt her feelings many times with fights and arguments, but today she was really sorry and after Many talk we're going out together again. But a lot is happening. I do not know how to act, I feel very insecure, suspicious, I can not do my daily tasks simpler, once again I'm ruined, and not to stretch further, after all this time unemployed I do not have any money, I owe the bank A large amount, my mother is in deep depression and today she told me that she is dying, no longer wants to live because my father abandoned her after 25 years of marriage, left us abandoned in the world. The bills in my house are all late, and having difficulty dealing with food. But what affects me the most at the moment is my relationship, I do not know how I can trust her again, I love her a lot, but I'm afraid, I keep thinking that she can do it again, I'm trying to find out something and I'm leaving my life to one side. Sadness overtakes me, fear overpowers me, and my mind only works to think of bad possibilities. All I feel today is fear, I see that people just want to attain their own well-being, do not care about consequences or what they can cause to a person who is by their side. Everything is so disposable and dispersive, self-satisfaction is ahead of all for these people, but I do not think so, my head and my heart want to show that happiness is above all when it is shared, when who you really love is the Your motivation. I would like your opinion that you are out of the box, my despair is great, I see myself in a dead-end darkness and just like a few words. Sorry to take your time. Thank you.

We don't care. Really, i am sitting in a comfy chair and the air temperature is a cool 70 degrees F.
I just some pizza and hot chips. I don't care about the fact that you didn't try as soon as you could to move out that shit hole. I bet you had a chance to work and do better but you didn't . Piss of no one cares honestly.

Don't be a dick, he seems alright.

pls come to brazil

Greentext it.

I live in Brazil.

come to brazil pls me in brazil

Troll

im not reading this shit nigga
>greentext it

k

Stop thinking about the bad things.
Think more about the good things.
Keep trying to make yourself better, while focusing on the good.
Over time it gets easier, if you're doing it right, and you'll get better.

One thing is certain man, you are strong just for having gone through all that other shit in your life. I don't know what to tell you about the money problems; I understand what is like to make a living in a country like Brazil. At least know that you are not your father and you weren't the one who caused your mother pain. I would say end things with the girl just because you shouldn't feel insecure in a relationship any partner considers serious. I hope things get better for you and remember that you are strong.

You are also a faggot for making me read so much.

Thank you very much, I'll keep trying.
I need to find something to give me strength and lose my fear.
But they are wise words.

OP is a faggot for writing this. And you all are faggots for reading this.

You can write stories, play a musical instrument. You can practice martial arts, you can make visual art, you can write poetry, you can do anything.
Making yourself better helps you focus on the positive things in life.

Many thanks, being strong is something we sometimes lose in the wind but we have to always get stronger! I hope to be much better than my father, to help people always and if I have a child someday, to be the opposite of what he was. I'm going to work with my girlfriend, I just wanted to have some guarantee but I know this is impossible. Thanks for the help and I'm sorry for wasting your time.

It's hard to find in life when everything is wrong, there's a lot to be put aside in this story so that you do not stretch out anymore, like my grandmother is sick now, my aunt having a hum, and so on. But I understand, ocuparse is always good, have a robbie and enjoy good things in life. Thank you for the tip.