"Blair Witch won’t affect seasoned horror fans (as much), but rest assured that it will destroy everyone else...

>"Blair Witch won’t affect seasoned horror fans (as much), but rest assured that it will destroy everyone else. This film will hurt people. It’s the emotional experience that transcends traditional narrative storytelling and ascends to a place of Nirvana. What I mean by this is that, [...] while someone watching Blair W itch may think they know what’s going to happen next, they don’t. The film breaks the mold of traditional horror and pushes the boundaries to the absolute brink."
- Brad Miska, BloodyDisgusting

"The final 20 minutes are home to some of the most claustrophobic and nerve-wrenching moments the horror genre has seen in quite some time. It literally feels like being locked inside of a deranged funhouse with your worst nightmares. The scares come fast and furious, and they do not relent until the very last frame, leaving the audience thoroughly shaken."
- Steve Barton, Dread Central

leave spookino to me

Other urls found in this thread:

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i bet the twist is really fucking stupid

marble hornets was a better blair witch sequel.

So basically the last 20 minutes will be filled with jumpscares.

what happened in the sequel to blair witch? was it even connected to the first movie? i don't think it was a found footage movie

some guy on here saw it and described the movie basically scene by scene. it sounded absolutely terrible and exactly like what you'd expect a 2016 sequel to blair witch to be like.

where can i pirate it?

So much this. It's going to be such trash

...

>tons of jump scare riddled horror films get god awful reviews
>ok
>film gets good reviews
>MUST HAVE JUMP SCAREZ!!!

Sup Forums is beyond fucking stupid

>another shitty movies about kids screaming in the woods for 2 hours

>Muh slendy

Book of Shadows.

I liked that flick. I don't know why it's been disavowed.

kek did you even read the reviews. they mention the jump scares.

It got kind of dumb after awhile though.

Still pretty good for a web series I guess.

>good reviews
>Bloody Disgusting and Freak Central

are you serious? all of the reviews so far are from blogs produced by neckbeards on the internet. as soon as the movie gets a proper release the reviews will become far worse. I'm guessing it'll end up with a 60% or so and based on the trailers it does look like it'll be a piece of shit.

>Brad Miska, BloodyDisgusting
Brad produced the V/H/S movies. Adam Wingard, the director of Blair Witch, also directed on two V/H/S movies.

I'm looking forward to it because fun and kino don't necessarily have to co-exist.

Buzz buzz buzz

Wow. Why is there no disclaimer? Better yet, why is he allowed to give a professional review on the movie and influence its RT score?

Can't kill it!

this is less exciting than hearing more news about Hillary's emails

This definitely isn't hyperbole at all.

>"IT MADE ME CUM IN YHE THEATER AND I'VE BEEN UNABLE TO STOP DROOLING FOR WEEKS, THIS IS THE PINNACLE OF CINEMA"
-The Washington Post

>tfw it's as "scary" as Babadook and Shit Follows
>tfw nowadays a mediocre or barely-adequate horror movie will get rave reviews

worst instance of this is Don't Breathe. One of the worst horror movies I've seen.

>*Full disclosure: Both V/H/S films were produced by Bloody Disgusting.

It's kind of there.

>needing a disclaimer for something so obviously

You probably think Cum-Guzzling Whores should have a nudity warning.

If you need a spooky experience go to a horror themed park. You're not looking for a movie--as proven by your not finding what your looking for. If you keep looking in the same area over and over without finding something, how intelligent is that for you?

>but rest assured that it will destroy everyone else
>This film will hurt people. It’s the emotional experience that transcends traditional narrative storytelling and ascends to a place of Nirvana
>The film breaks the mold of traditional horror and pushes the boundaries to the absolute brink
>It literally feels like being locked inside of a deranged funhouse with your worst nightmares

apex kek this is fucking embarrassing

This is going to be an absolute mess

I'm not sure about all that crap he wrote but the scene where she's crawling through a pipe in the trailer looks pretty uncomfortable.

Agreed. Much better than the first.

>Agreed. Much better than the first.

Holy fuck are you serious? Cute goth chick, that's it

The original was shit and only LE SHAKY CAM XDDD!!! was what made it popular.

The problem is that the genre got absolutely driven into the ground. I'm a bit of a horror buff and I've had to watch shit for years now.

Honestly, I can't think of how they could improve. There is no more 'scary' stuff that they could exploit within the medium. Vidya seem to be a lot better for these purposes.

Says the retard who grew up on Paranormal Activity movies.

You honestly have no idea how influential it was.

I wouldn't go that far. It's not bad and I liked it, but it's maybe a 6/10.

That said, it was the best way to do a sequel to Blair Witch.

>The film breaks the mold of traditional horror and pushes the boundaries to the absolute brink.
horror avánt gàrdë
absolute kinography

Yeah, even the BW people know it's dead. They tried something slightly different with Nightlight.

Not bad, but didn't really work. Honestly, cellphones have ruined the horror genre. I suspect that's why there seems to be a resurgence of films/shows set in the past as a way to get around it.

You were obviously a child/not born when the first movie was released.

Isn't Brad butt budies with Adam Wingard?

A few weeks after it was released in theaters, my friend got a laser disc copy and we watched it in a mini theater. We ended up watching the mini documentary first and then the main movie.

We all 'got' the ending. If we didn't see the doco beforehand it would have been a 2/10.

and how was it with the doco.

Actually from what I've heard, the entire movie is filled with nonstop jumpscares.

not him but I was and the hype grew out of control and the secret became like the penis in the crying game. the gimmick was ruined. it was still kind of a fun cultural event though.

>where is the map. what did you do with the fucking map.
repeat 100x

We did get some iconic moments: the children's handprints, standing in a corner and the mysterious figurines in the forest.

no

The best way to do a sequel to Blair Witch is not to do one at all.

but chris stuckmann liked it, so it must be good?

You mean this one?
youtube.com/watch?v=tbkNnz924EY

Huh.

Well alright then, I expected it to be complete garbage, at least it's at least okay?

Then it wouldn't be a sequel, would it? Your attempt at being a smartass has failed.

I think you missed the implication that I don't think this film should exist, try again next time.

And yet they're still better than whatever 70s/80s dreck you like.

>And yet they're still better than whatever 70s/80s dreck you like.

I somehow doubt that.

RT is never wrong, pleb.

>Shows the witch as many as 10 times throughout the movie
>People who've seen it describe her appearance as the monster on the Grave Encounters 2 DVD or one of the mutants from Uncharted with hair
>Any ambiguity or imagination from the original is gone, replaced by a blatantly supernatural villain and time warps
>The original's mounting sense of hopelessness and dread replaced by non-stop jump scares
>Sounds like it turns the Blair Witch into basically a slasher movie villain with magic
>Reddit Tomatoes and PlebbyDisgusting like it

There's nothing but trash here

I went through marble hornets and those other similar shit recently, it's entertaining and all but the horror value is almost nihil and it goes on for way too long, it should have ended after a couple months, because after they grew up the lack of acting abilities became really obvious

If some faggot from Sup Forums says it's bad, it has to be good.

what was the real ending to book of shadows? If i remember correctly, the dvd came out when dvd hidden features were a new thing, so you had to put in some combination in the menu and it would reveal some hidden piece of footage to fullfill the story

BloodyDisgusting basically said that The Woman was some sort of revolutionary and controversial horror masterpiece, everything they raccomend it's automatically shit to me

>The scares come fast and furious, and they do not relent until the very last frame

That doesn't sound like Blair Witch to me.

>if you want to get spooked by scary movies go to a shitty themepark instead

fuck off faggot finding dory was 90+ percent and shit
fuck off with rotten tomatoes

HAHA he didn't read past the first sentence

EPIC FAIL buddy

Finding Dory is kino

Thanks to you including Penn with your "review", I'm now going to see it.

TWICE.

If you know anything about the movie industry you can instantly see what Blair Witch is

They clearly optioned this big ambitious script that is trying to do the "semi-fantasy-esque over-the-top criminal underworld" theme (similar to Payback), with post-Matrix action, and the movie was clearly supposed to establish the setting for a franchise and trilogy, BUT, for whatever weird reason, someone got cold feet along the way and told them to trim it back to a standalone single feature.

You can just smell that it was originally meant to be like 3 hours long and much deeper lore-wise. You can smell the characters that were hastily miscast and smushed to fit into the edited script, so that they seem bizarrely out of place and overexaggerated for how little screen time and relevance they get. You can tell that the budget was gutted.

Some financial decision was made by the higher-ups that the original gamble was no longer worth it, but that they could still have their shot at making it a franchise if they somehow managed to take the hugely reduced scope and budget of the project and create something great. And they didn't.

Watching Blair Witch is like watching 1/4th of something ambitious that a lot of people resignedly stretched and flayed to cover the space left by the absence of the other 3/4ths. It reminds me of Lucky Number Slevin, where they optioned a script and then forgot to apply enough funding and care to actually turn it into a movie, so it's bizarrely uncanny to moviegoers, like watching an inexplicably high production quality stageplay of some guy's shitty fanfiction with a dumb name.

No you won't. You'll download a rip like everyone else.

>Marblehornets

Went on for way too fucking long. They should have ended it at "season one", but nope they just kept going and going with less and less relevant and more boring entries then filled it with embarrassing exposition later on.

Did they even end it or is it still going?

I agree with this.
And yeah it ended, the ending was ok but season 3 as a whole was a drag.
At least season 2 had an arc, s3 just had shit happening

>This film will hurt people
kek, modern film "reviewers" are pathetic

Is bloodydisgusting the most untrusted site on the internet? They constantly hype garbage horrors for clicks and exposure. Anything to get their name on a poster, if it's a piece of shit you can be sure there will be 'A RETURN TO FORM FOR HORROR' - bloodyanus

I'll stick with the patrician witch movie of this year, thanks

Absolutely. It was an incoherent mess near the end, they exacerbated their problem by taking months' long hiatuses to make it all seem realistic, but that just served to make people forget what was even going on and then you'd get a 53 second video of something hiking in a forest and breathing heavily.

Early stuff was legendary, but it really went out with a whimper. Do they even still do that Clear Lakes follow up series they forced that unfunny neckbeard into?

this

>Shows the witch
What the FUCK? Seriously? I was interested in watching this but fuck that shit. That completely ruins the point of the original movie.

Thank you dear Anons for remembering me.

It Follows was actually good unless you are a choad-faggot of the first order which apparently you are. You have my cock.

This one was saved by the super sexy ending. One can dream, right?

It Follows was a decent premise (and by no means an original one) terribly executed. A shallow, thinly veiled, ham-fisted STD metaphor that could have been about any purely mundane thing but was about sex because that makes it 'ground breaking' and 'controversial' and 'edgy'.

wow, find the guy who got paid for his review

Anya Taylor-Joy is an apex cute