Greentext thread

greentext thread
ill start

>be me
>get to sleep at 3AM because sleep schedule is fucked
>dream of my first kiss
>my first FUCKING kiss
>wake up next morning
>remember dream
>realize that memory was actually a dream
>mfw

>go to school
>see girl I dreamed of
>daydream about it really happening
>dicks throbs thinking of it
>can't stand it
>goes Into bathroom to jerk it off

Know that there is a flame within you that cant be smothered by jerkin it.


U might be jerkin eryday but that don't matter cuz someday the stars are gonna align, your gonna play your part, and fate will have it's way with you. It could happen all in one evening. You just got to be ready to act the part when the time is right. Be ready itll happen soon.

This is a green text thread

>you bust a mighty glorious but
>it covers the seat of your pants
>you freak out
>try to wash it all off, but thee bell rings
>you need to return to class
>and you sit next to her

underage b&

>you try best to hide the splotches on you lap, and you return to your routine of giving her quick glances
>you need to fap again
>you know that you mustn't
>but you grab your bulge

>you slowly rub thee cock through the pants
>faster and faster
>your arm is moving fast enough people notice
Even the girl of your dreams
>you let out a orgasmic cry as the cum pours from your pants, and splashes every one like sea world

>you feel the cold hard stare of everyone as they glared at you from the carnage of your cum
>but suddenly there's a rumpling
>shrek bursts from the ground, yelling IM BACK
>its shrek! After so many years? The scent of your cum must've attracted him

>"I'm finna need bou treefiddy" Shriek says as he spews his toxic green cum into everyone's eyes
>just then the mayor of lazy town bursts through the ceiling and informs everyone that the us is under attack by that dude with cancer
>all everyone has to do is wait a couple months

>shrek rips off his pants revealing his penis, covered in the odor of onions, and twice as big as last time
>he swipes his dick side to side, smashing everyone to smithereens
>THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR PICKING ON ME BUDDY HERE he roared
>he then grabs my crush and penetrates her asshole and it goes straight out of her mouth covered in her blood, directly into my mouth
>I sucked as hard as I could, hoping to please shrek
>he blasted a onion load into my mouth, making it pour out of my nostrils

lmfao

>ITS NOT OR'E YET BUDDY
>then he places me on my knees and penetrate my asshole
> do it for shrek I thought as tears streaked from my eyes.
>after a minute of rough anal, he cummed, a jet blast, making it fly from my mouth

>but its still not over
>Robby rotten joins in and slides his pink vagina on my flaccid penis
>in a bisexual three way, shrek erected his penis into my anus as I fucked Robbie blindly

>Shrek roared once again,and then released another barrage of cum all over, coating the room. >And Robbie rotten gummed his pink liquid and gave birth to a sonic the hedge hog

>I cried, but is time in sorrow
>the swat team would be coming to I'll shrek
>I begged him to go, and run
>but he insisted not to
>instead he jumped thorough the window into the Street
>and swung his gigantic penis against a swat truck
>and exploded it to nothing
>the second one was on it's way
>shrek swung his penis against the second one, on the front end making the driver fly out through e windshield
>and with one motion smashed the driver to death south his amazing penis

I tanked this thread, and I'm not sorry

>He then looked at Me and with a goodbye, said
>ITS ALL OGRE NOE
>and did a super jump into the atmosphere never to be seen again

>you bust a glorious but

Misspell
>I gave out in a glorious nut

I did this whole story

What you think?
I am hoping to become an erotic novel author soon

I found it more funny than arousing. It wasn't arousing in the least but it was fucking hilarious,"covered in the odor of onions" had me dying bruh.

>wake up
> go downstairs to find Asian chick sleeping on the couch
> i didn't think much of it as i thought it was my roommates girlfriend.
>go to work
> ask roommate at work why his girlfriend was over
> find out he never had a girlfriend over
>feel confused for the rest of the day
>get home
>go to ask girlfriend if she know who she was
>find them making out on my new leather couch
>they ask me to join
>but i ask why on the new couch
>they continue making out
>i ask again if they could not because its my new couch
>they ignore me
>i open the curtains and they hiss
>my girlfriend slaps me in the face and admits she had been cheating with 4 other men
>and she said we are technically defacto and the apartment is now hers and i have to leave
>i don't leave
>police make me leave
>true story
>still haven't got enough money for an apartment yet

wtf. dude something very similar happened to me not too long ago. when was this?