I really fucked up Sup Forums

I really fucked up Sup Forums

I co-own a property with my mum. Long story short, we fell out and she no longer wants anything to do with me and nor me her. I live in the house we own and haven't spoken to her for five months, mortgage payments go out of each of our accounts direct debit.

I decided to sell the house without her knowledge or consent and take all the money (about £40,000 once the bank take their money). I would have need my mother's signature to do this but she'd make me split the money or refuse to sell.

So, ultimately, I forged her signature (twice at present).

Now the solicitor has said my mother has to be present for the final documents to be signed and it has to be witnessed.

tl;dr
>If I call my mother, everyone will find out I've committed fraud
>If I don't, the solicitor is going to figure out I've committed fraud

Please help me Sup Forums, joking aside I know there's some intelligent faggots out there

cheaters never prosper

OP's going to prison

No amount of intelligence is gonna save that situation.

Jail time for you boi, you deserve it.

just hire someone to act like your mom

Well you're jolly well fucked.

Pay some lady to pose as your mom. That's literally the only option at this point. You've already committed this much fraud, what's a little more?

or just state at some point she's changed her mind and you're pulling out, back to square one and loss of any money you've put forward but off the hook

Seriously considered how to do this. Best I've thought of is hiring a milf escort for a hour but paying her a day's fee.

Get out of town you oughta get out of town

You deserve to die piece of shit

I can't pay the mortgage now. After we fell out I cleared our joint account, went on holiday and bought the new MGS

you'd want to teach her how to forge your moms signature

that being said, she'll probably blackmail you later. but its better than prison for sure.

Also, you're a shit person for doing this. If you co own she has a right to half the profits. She can very well have you arrested.

You really didn't think this through, did you?

You're really the most disgusting human being there is... even for Sup Forums standards

You must kill your mother.

hahahahaha payback time

naughty naughty boy, you better start preparing your anus

/thread

there it is

I hope you get raped to death by niggers with aids.

>I can't pay the mortgage now

If it's not paid they're going to find all this out when they start the repossession process

>so fucking fucked

the only way you can get out of this is to tell her you want out and you want your half and she'll get her half.

you'll need to give her her half.

cheaters never win. you shouldn't get any money because you acted in bad faith and illegally. why do you expect to succeed? people like you make this world suck

-Go missing, take the 40k and make a new life somewhere
-Make new papers which aren't signed but identical to the others. You can then split the 40k between you
-Remove the sig from the papers somehow.

Not joking about the first one, it's possible you know.

best possible situation:
you hire someone to pretend to be your mother
you'll be happy with the money
until the day your mom realizes you've sold the house
if still have some money left you'll have to use it for a lawyer because sure as hell she's gonna try to get at you for the shitty thing you've donne
in the best of cases you never go to jail, you've lost the house, your mom hates you and your lawyer has your money.
try to keep at least 10 bucks so you can buy carton and a tin can to ask for money in the streets

hahahaha only 40k? fuck you poor nigga

OP dun goofed

sorry OP you did a bad mate.

good luck

dont drop the soap.

drink some bleach

almost as cringe as this
>depressed
>don't know if friends trust me
>am gay
>shit at talking
>sent this shit after the first two

The only real advice

Woo woo woo we haaave a winner!

Or just hire a slutmum for a day like a few anons have said.

Burn the house down, collect on insurance.

Desist, say that you're having second thoughts and that you no longer want to keep going with the deal. It's the only way you can get away.

all that trouble for 40K, you make me sad OP

that's like $52000 to the dumb amerifucks in this thread.

not a real game changer or is it?

French foreign legion

Average house price in Britfagland is £220,000. £40k is probably the deposit that was put up as 15% is minimum.

just making it clear

Get someone to pretend to be your mom and forge the sig

Spoken like a true bfag. Best advice on here. Usually ops fuck up, but damn op, u dun fucked up

I hope this makes the news. What part of the UK are you in so I can read that paper tomorrow?

Wow user way to royally try to fuck your mom but instead fuck yourself.
She is gonna laugh when you end up getting sent to prison

Why did you think this would work? Was it autism?

Say asbestos found in house and cancel sale.

Until they need to see id

OP is fucked.

We have a WINNER!

Sooooooo quick question.....

Whacha gonna do when she finds out you sold her house and flips shit?

Even if you pay the eacort to act like your mom. What do when actual mom learns of your jewing her over?

Mrs Doubtfire

See

I've always said, when in doubt move to one of those Scottish rock islands. You can live out your years there in a cave and just fish everyday for food.

This!

I hope you get raped, say she changed her mind

Just fake your own death and then move to north Korea

God you are such a fuckin rotten Jew bastard to fuck over yo mama like that

Let the deal fall through, take the hit on the deposit.
That or go to jail, or convince your mom to bail you out.

So when your mum realizes payments aren't coming outa her account anymore she won't question it? A well thought out plan op. Fukd from the start! Op you better make up with mumsy start by eating her out. Or just kill self and be done with it

Run away and live in Africa as a prostitute

Defrauding your mother is what makes you a horrible person but defrauding the bank is what's going to get you raped in prison.

Did you seriously think that making your mom hate you was the worst you'd get out of this?

Go to your mom and tell her you want out, but play it off as best as you can that you didn't forge her signature. Tell her you already found a buyer and that only one signature from her is needed.

You'll still have to split the money, but profit is better than jail time.

...

Hire a brassy old prostitute to pretend to be your mother.

Watch her fail catastrophically at convincing anybody that she is your mum, because her raw earthy charm gives the game away.

Lose the defence hearing and end up in prison.

NOW. Here is the important bit. Take copious amount of notes documenting everything - every characteristic of those involved, every bit of bad luck and every mistake you made along the way.

It won't help your defence, but it will make writing the screenplay of your fucked up story a lot easier while you're in prison.

Pls do this and livestream it

Well -- maybe you shouldn't have done such a niggerish thing to begin with. Idiot

This is a classic example of believing that stupid shit you could get away with at school (i.e forging a signature or two) is passable in adult life. Immaturity was the downfall.

>there are intelligent faggots out there
and you are definitely not one of them

Why would you try to sell something that isn't solely yours to own?

Consider this karma.

Do people get raped in bongistanian prisons, or is that just 'murica?

Criminal impersonation with intent to defraud. If OP doesn't get caught now, his mother can and will press charges and subpoena every entity that accepted the forged documents along the way.

My advice is same as one a fellow user stated above, just halt the process altogether, NOW.

leave country and start a new life with a new mother

Young jail bait do. I knew a lad with babyface features they purposefully put in a pedo wing. He was in and out of prison and I think they hated him. Don't know if he got raped but everybody in my neighbourhood guessed he would be

Once again, OP is a faggot. A fucked faggot at that.

Enjoy prison you moron.

Am willing to pay OP for the rights to his life story. Will hire Shia LaBeouf for the lead.

OP

Not sure how fucked things are between you and your mom OP, but is there any chance you could go to her explain how badly you fucked up with all this and offer her like 75% or something if she just goes along with it?

talk to your equivalent of a lawyer.

>offer her like 75% or something if she just goes along with it?

Probably the only chance he has of unfucking himself is to give her everything.

Sounds like there's a but of sexual tension between you and your mum. You need to bend her over your knee and give her a good spanking, then fuck her silly. Let her know who's boss, user.

You're in the UK, so you''re not going to prison. Either hire a lady to impersonate her or tell the solicitor the whole thing's off.

You seem like you're too stupid / ill prepared to make the first one work though..

...

Nice one, OP!

Lube your butt hole, because to prison you will go!

>that being said, she'll probably blackmail you later.
nothing a jigsaw and a pond couldn't handle

>I forged her signature (twice at present).

Or, as they will soon be known 'exhibit A' and 'exhibit B'

Yesssss, exactly that!

What is putting a ... wing?

>wing

Section of a prison. So the pedofag section.

Hahahahahahaha, this is why I go to /b

Thanks

Just say she changed her mind, and bail the fuck out. You literally can't get away with the scam you're trying to pull. Just split the money with her, you greedy cunt. It's co-owned.

>topkek

He can't pay the mortgage on the house. OP may be able to keep his mom out of the picture for as long as is needed, but the bank won't think twice about contacting her when there's a default to ask 'how's the sale going?'

Shouldn't have tried to diddle your mother. You wouldn't be in this situation now would you OP?