ITT: We all pretend we work in a supermarket

ITT: We all pretend we work in a supermarket

Jim, you're not on break. Clean up the milk that fucking kid threw on the ground.

I think I saw a man entering the bathroom with a young girl Jim...

That guy looked an awful lot like Jim's dad, don't you think?

"Sure ma'am I'll check in the back if we still have product X, even though I just explicitly told you we just refilled our stock for today"

*proceeds to take a shit*

"Sorry ma'am, I searched really hard but we don't have product X in the back either"

Fucking cunt

Should we tell the manager?

I dindu nuffin Boss. Ist swear

If we tell it will be just more work for us so better stay quiet.

Naah I think we should join in...

Should tell me what? Shouldn't you guys we working? The fuck is going on here..

*proceed to casually take a soda off the shelf and drink it*

What? I'm going to pay for it! Not!

No need. I stuck a hidden camera up there two months ago to spy on our hot cashiers.

...

Nothing boss just thought i saw your 4 year old daughter...my mistake...

*chuckle and grab crotch*

Team please we have a code yellow, everyone switch to channel two
-beep-
So we're missing s girl, roughly 5'2 blonde hair, she was seen heading toward the bathroom.

Hey, Jim. Need some weed?

*Comes in shooting constantly, only hits 3 people*

Nothin masa, mes an my partna is going back to work here masa!

Please sir calm down

Thanks Jeff. Let's sneak out back to hit the blunt

Where are all the trap employees?

Grabs missing 4-year-old, uses as human shield. Runs out of building, drops kid, runs away.

Hey John, you have to go check out some bomb ass in isle 6.

FUCK YOU CIS MALE! IM GOING TO MY GHOST WORLD

'pretend'

*pull zip up and whistle on my way to the team meeting*

EXCUSE ME YOUR DUMB FUCK CASHIER WONT TAKE MY COUPON!!! Says it's "EXPIRED" whatever the FUCK that means?!? I WANT THEM FIRED.

Hey Donna wanna help me in the back of the store?

*wink wink*

...

Excuse me ma'am but the checkout for the disabled is over there

Where are the flavoured condoms please?

Some guy just took them all into the bathroom.

*I sucessfully stole a pack of chips and a Pepsi*

Look at that nigger

Don't mind me, just lookin around.

You here for the boss's daughter too mate?

Someone fucking get Ellie away from the produce section.. Christ

I'm on break.
*sips coffee*

Haven't we all come for her at some point?

I managed to get it in her though

hi. look at me. i work in a supermarket.

Security?
...
Yeah that hobo is back.
...
No, the one who thinks he works for us
...
Yeah, the police don't have his social security number.
...
Sure, do whatever you want. As long as his dick doesn't reach another hotdog bun, it's open season for you.

wheres the union when we need it goddamnit ..

someone just puked

Oi m8
Can you get us a bottle of voddie and white lightnin. An sum 20 silk-cuts? Its for me dad.

Hey, guys? There's a gay orgy down in the food aisle. Their fuckin' in a pile of ramen noodles, Hot Cheetos, and spaghetti. What should we do about it

bump

How is this the only good thread I've seen in 6 years

Face up the fucking shelves

*kggg*
Cleanup on aisle 5 pleas, there is puke all over the watermelon stand.
*kggg*