How would you go about committing the perfect murder?

How would you go about committing the perfect murder?

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By not commiting it

stab someone with ice
throw someone a massive iceblock on the head
freeze someone in ice

what about fingerprints dipshit

i wouldn't

if you are actually thinking about murdering another human being you deserve to be shot

The ice will fucking melt

no but the fingerprints will give it away

what the fuck is that fucvking pic

hot

gl on taking fingerprints from water

Stop the bait

they'll take the fingerprints from the ice and u will be cort

uhh but it wouldn't be water it's ice you can't kill people with water then it would be drowning

Rather than ice, use pycrete, (ice with sawdust and newspaper). It's stronger, also wear gloves when making it just in case of fingerprints on the paper.

They will read the newspaper, and trace the sawdust and trace it back to you.

Find an exotic, deadly and quick disease, water-transmitted. Bonus points if there's no risk of it infecting the local water supply

Go to a party with your victim. Or just pass him/her on the street

Make it look like you tripped. Spill the drink on their hand. Make sure to be in a group, crowd, etc. and that the victim doesn't recognize you

Get the feeling of a job well done.

Getting "drunk"
youtu.be/pyOQnEJQmq4

Dump the body in the ocean.never be found

Why did I never see this one in a rekt thread?

Get a bunch of pigs, don't feed hem for 2 days, then let them at the body. No body, no murder.

Just happend yesterday. Hours ago. Driver 18 and the sister 14

You're right this is the perfect murder

...

I like the way you think.

Just do it like the CIA does. Cuff them, throw a bag on their head and put them in a van lined with plastic, drive to a remote location, put their head against a piece of kevlar or stack of books, then shoot them in the head. Drive to another location and cut them up and dissolve all of the tools, plastic, and body parts in the acid. Then take the gun and unload it and toss it in the nearest dumpster. It's that easy.

It's too soon, newfag.

Those tabs and bookmarks tho

OP plans murder
Crazy person hunts down op and kills them.

The world is balanced once again.

Go to South America.
Get psilocybin.
Go back.
Put on sunglasses, mustasche and look like a tourist.
Have a map (with the drugs on it)
Go to person X, ask for directions
Blow drugs in face
Now tell person X to jump infront of car

>Drive to another location and cut them up and dissolve all of the tools, plastic, and body parts in the acid. Then take the gun and unload it and toss it in the nearest dumpster.
Why change location? I can see why dumping the gun somewhere else would make sense, but why move all the other evidence?

Because you don't want people to hear the gunshot, dumbass. And you have to take the body somewhere to be processed.

kill a random stranger 500km away from your home.

Done

Drive by, they never seem to catch them

By killing myself.

Sounds like a waste of time, killing a random stranger, for no reason....Wasting time is not a "perfect" act.

some narco's girlfriend cut up

You're thinking of scopolamine.

>Wait at least 10 years with no contacts
>Buy on this time new clothes, shovel, universal pliers, thick gloves
>Leave to some place not far but far from the zone
>Rent car, roam around the city you are, make yourself known on bars, have the tickets, etc
>Go where your victim is
>Check his/her schedule
>Kidnap at good time
>Kill quickly, where no one can hear it
>Remove teeth and nails of victim
>Chop him/her into pieces
>Bury pieces around a lot of places
>Burn what you're wearing
>Toss objects you used on river or something or bury them far away
>Go back to place
>Have fun

I may have missed a few step, it's approximatively how i'd do it.

Narcotics are illegal dumbass

Cum shot to the face

Still me, another way i may have planned

>Take pork chops
>Let them rot on a heater or something
>Collect juice with seringe
>Inject juice to victim
>Leave and keep the seringe, clean it, ect.

Heard it's not detectable and the victim dies quick. Not sure if real or not, heard that from a mom's friend who worked on a prison.

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Explain

GENDERFLUID SUPPORT
REFUGEE HELP
/R/YIFF
GIRLFRIEND ASMR


OH MY FUCKING SIDES


PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

English is difficult

only person holding a drink, implying she was sitting at the table with the victim who's cup is still standing there.

That'd be murder, friendo.

I'm going to present the Simplest and cleanest way

>Preparation
First of all you need to cut all relations to the motherfucker you're trying to kill
Because when someone gets killed, the cops always suspect the people close to him, i.e his family, friends, acquaintances..etc etc. which means you need to cut yourself off those groups.
By "cutting" all relations i mean two things,
1.move somewhere else, considerably far, out of city, or out of state if you're willing to cover your ass that far
2.stop talking to him or anyone close to him
This'll make the cops feel that you're pretty far away from the guy and have no reason to kill a (seemingly) random guy like him
>Equipment
DO NOT use Knives, sharp shit and generally anything that leaves lots of blood and requires you to get close to the guy are a big nono, they're extremely messy, common sense.
.Long range rifles, MY JAM, those fuckers can shoot Sub-moa shots at 800 meters, 800 meters is a pretty fucking long distance especially in urban places. (.308 winchester hunting rifles are extremely common and many people own them)
.Thick ass gloves (surgical gloves leave fingerprints, be aware)
.Backpack, to hide your rifle in

And if you're willing to go really fucking far, get an RF jammer and plant it where your target will die (trash can, near a plant, etc) RF signal jammers (decent priced ones have a rane of 50 meters) prevent phones from making phonecalls and therefore buys you a good amount of time so it doesn't let anyone call 9/11
>kill prep
check his schedule, get a nice time where he's alone (i.e coming back from work)
find a a good concealed spot to shoot from.
>killing
when you shoot him, you can also shoot another guy in the same spot, making the kills look like some crazy fucker randomly shot people, instead of a "HIM" being exactly targeted

Don't be stupid.

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack is
Onna
Gonna
Wanna
Suck
That
Dick

Only person holding a drink which (as far as we can tell) isn't wearing sandals. There are more ppl holding drinks

She has a Yellow top. Yellow shoes are by the table

yeah, i'm french, honhonhon sorry

Noticed everyone wears slippers, you can easily associate it with people. The only one you cannot is the brown haired girl, she leaved them near the chair next to the victim (yellow ones). Plus she's holding a glass and there's a trail on the plate for a missing glass.

AT LEAST I DON'T SPEND MY TIME SUCKING DICKS IN THE BATHROOM AT OLIVE GARDEN. YOU DIRTY LOWDOWN SLIMY FILTHY DISGUSTING GLUTTONOUS HOGLIKE MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING SON OF AN INCESTUOUS PEDOPHILE SHEMALE RAPIST PROSTITUTE. GET YOUR MOM'S DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? I'M GONNA SHIT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS. STOP FOR A MOMENT AND REALLY GRASP THAT STATEMENT. I AM LITERALLY GOING TO SHIT UP YOUR ASS. I WILL TAKE MY PANTS OFF, RIP YOUR PANTS OFF, OUR SPHINCTERS WILL TOUCH, AND I WILL SHIT. YOU WILL TRY TO COUNTERSHIT. BUT MY SPHINCTER WILL OVERCOME. AND I WILL PUSH A LOG OF SHIT FROM MY ASS UP INTO YOUR BODY. THIS IS WHAT SHALL OCCUR WHEN I FIND YOUR KEYBOARD FUCKING FACE. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I WILL PISS INTO A POT. I WILL ADD CORNSTARCH TO THE PISS AND BOIL IT UNTIL IT GETS REALLY THICK, LIKE SAUCE. I WILL POUR THE THICKENED PISS INTO A PLASTIC CONTAINER AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE UNTIL IT HARDENS INTO A FIRM JELLO. THEN I WILL THEN CUT IT INTO RECTANGLES. BATTER IT IN A MIX OF MILK, FLOUR, AND EGGS. AND DEEP FRY IT AT 375 UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN, FLIPPING ONCE SINCE THEY FLOAT. AND I WILL SERVE YOU MY DEEP FRIED PISS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING SUCH A FAGGOT. COCKMUFFIN

SECOND POST
Now we go to the more uppity and complex shit

IEDs (yes, you're a jihadi now)
Like the last time, after the prep, check his schedule and plant a good old bomb under his car or conceal it in a garbage bag/trash can/carton box near the street he usually walks in, when he walks near it, blow the fucker to pieces

Since most people don't know how to make explosives (despite them being fairly easy and easy to look up and learn) That would make you, the average person, far off the list of possible suspects

NOTE: please don't try to bother with hiding the body and all that gay crap beacuse it's too messy and too much of a hassle and there's a big chance you'll get busted while moving the body.

you can murder anyone as long you has no connection to the victim and its in a big town but not your town.

I'd convince people that neoliberal capitalism is the best way to govern society, and watch our species go extinct. Lel

...

You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you?

Easy, Get gloves and gas their house. buy the gas a year before so they can't find you from looking through who has bought gas. Next burn everything. For extra actually make their gas leak instead of putting gas through a tube in the house.

Do it like Boris would. With no fucks given

Drive the victim to an hero without them knowing who's doing it.

You just committed murder and you don't want to get caught and your first thought is "ewwww, I'm not gonna touch that!"

> make chloroform with bleach and acetone
> knock out victim with chloroform
> take to ghetto
> saran wrap to post or tree
> hang sign around neck saying "nappy haired nigglets give me wood"
> Que sera, sera

death by too many sharpies in the pooper

1) Shave any hairs on your body

2) Find or buy a plastic suit, or anything that can protect you from blood, your head and feet included.

3) Put a mask on, their might be CCTV or witness. Avoid cotton and wool, wear synthetic.

4) Anything but firearms, and don't throw your weapon away, keep it with you.

5) Gather intel, what does your target do ? where is he/she going ? where does he/she live ?

6) Plan your murder, don't write anything on computer. Do it as far as possible from your home. Avoid kidnapping.

7) Once you killed your target, you can try to burn the body or anything that can make it disapear, but don't draw attention. Avoid moving the body, taking pictures, videos, ect... Don't bring it home.

8) Burn or get rid of anything you weared from the murder. Again, don't draw attention to you.

9) Have an alibi.

>Anything but firearms
lel what

if i shot a guy with a long range rifle in broad daylight and disappeared before they'd pinpoint the shooting spot not even god could solve the murder.

Never really gave it tooooo much thought but here it goes.

Travel more then 300 miles from home, only carry cash. Wear oversized shoes with lots of socks on, slap on a few of those sand weights joggers use. To throw off your shoe size and weight. Make sure the shoes are used, and at least 20 years old. Do not bring any electronics, and don't drive any car manufactured after the 80s and make sure its a common car when your travel, you want zero chance of being traceable electronically. Do not take toll roads of any interstate highways, I wouldn't even use Routes(US Highways). All back roads. Make sure the tires are bald on the vehicle, and are oldddd, so no RFID chips, you want to change your appearance but not in the way that you stand out, don't wear ball caps? Hate the Red Sox, perfect. Don't order it online, by it with cash at a 2nd hand store used. Don't wear glasses, perfect put some 2nd hand ones on, so if anyone does by chance see you through some form of long distance lenses or hidden camera you wont be recognizable. Your almost ready, leave town at night and don't tell anyone, 4 hour drive cam get you over 200 miles away do the deed and return. All in a 9 hour span. Now for your instrument of death, many ways to make a zip gun, but do this years in advance so no stores in your area have you logged buying the stuff to make it, and there is no pattern on the bullet that can be traced. Now go cruzzing in the location, find someone alone(its night) jogger, Simone getting the mail, you get the drift, drive by do the deed and when your done, drive at a flank angle from home before you turn towards home.
Dispose of zip gun(pipe) at a random garbage that's is public.

The end.

I forgot to mention don't have plates on your car while the act is committed

the bullet

...so?
just bathe the motherfucking round in alcohol and rub it well with a napkin to avoid fingerprinting it, and don't forget to collect the brass

>Kindnap at a good time

Lol why not just...kill at a good time?

B is so retarded most of the times

it buys you time

the target would get marked as "missing" instead of being "killed" so they would first start looking for him instead of opening a murder investigation (they may not even open an investigation at all and keep him marked as missing)

and by the time they start looking for him you'd have buried the body, vaporized all evidence and moved to a rural town in chile.

It's not about fingerprints, they can retrace what kind of weapon you used, then ask the seller who bought it. They will have to do several stores but they will eventually find you.

You can do it with untracable firearms but you're taking risk for just one guy, you might as well take a normal sharp knife.

BTW i don't recommend putting alcohol on a bullet.

partly cause it wouldn't be murder. it'd be an assassination.

OP didn't say "how to get away with killing some prick" he specifically said "murder" so your victim has to know your killing them, and it might have to be a little more up close and personal

That and firearms make a lot of noise (you don't want witness) and are more likely to be traced, but ofc it depends of where you live.

>.308 in backpack
>Militards being stupid
You will be caught in minutes. You fucking idiot

dumbest most unnecessary bullshit I've ever read

how about instead, you just travel to a different city, go into the ghetto at night, shoot someone from your car with a silencer, drive back to your city, wash your hands, get rid of the gun, burn all your clothes, get rid of your bullets

>It's not about fingerprints, they can retrace what kind of weapon you used, then ask the seller who bought it. They will have to do several stores but they will eventually find you.
>You can do it with untracable firearms but you're taking risk for just one guy, you might as well take a normal sharp knife.
They can't trace the "gun", only the cartridge

useless if the killer had the gun for a long time, or stole it, or bought it off some shady ghetto nigger. etc etc

top fucking kek

a remington 700 with a folding chassis/stock could easily fit well inside a backpack
hell you can even fucking dissemble it if you want
pic related

>That and firearms make a lot of noise (you don't want witness) and are more likely to be traced, but ofc it depends of where you live.

Suppressors sure as hell don't make guns sound like a whisper IRL, but they do help
They decrease 30 decibles (that's a pretty big fucking difference)
and they make the firing noise sound less like gunfire, and sound more like something fragile fell off
youtube.com/watch?v=fpLd0YxZnG0
listen to the sound of it firing

And of course you can use subsonic ammo which decrease ALOT of the noise.

remember not to bring your phone with you because they can trace your movements with the signal

First, use a weapon people wouldn't think of. A knife? Brass knuckles? Kek. I'll bust out the good ol' pipe wrench. Still kind of obvious, but it's my pick. Make sure you wear gloves, and burn just about everything related. Killing is easy. Body disposal is tricky.
Second, bury the body (if in one piece) 6 to 10 feet beneath a dead animal. If it's in multiple pieces, bury them in an animal graveyard, like my garden. And smash the teeth. They'll never make sense of the bones, and bodies decay fast when hacked up.
There's many more ways to do this, but I'm just telling you what worked for me.

Easiest way is as follows
1. Buy a pack of cigarettes
2. Let cigarettes (the whole oack) soak in water

3. After eight hours or so remove cigarettes from water making sure to drain any liquid into container
4. Fill syringe with the liquid
5.inject
Pros.
No prints or anything to trace
Silent
Extremely deadly especially if you can get the person drunk or first
Cons
You have to be close

No it won't t dumbass.
At first I thought you were a militard
Now I realize you are just a basement tard playing to much cod

You need to smoke them and place butts in water you useless fat cunt.

I live in a country where weapons are really regulated. I don't know where you live and the laws about it in your country, but if you want to kill someone where I live you might as well use a knife

From what I saw, rifles and suppresors aren't cheap.

You can't fit pic related inside of decent sized normal bag?

have you seen any fucking bag that isn't a kindergarten backpack?

The rifle in pic has 20 inch overall length
which world are you from where most bags can't fit a 20 inch stick?

>From what I saw, rifles and suppresors aren't cheap.
Rifles are 500-600-700 dollar range, you poorfag

Suppressors however, can be made at home using PVC pipes and cotton, or simply a plastic bottle and cloth
youtube.com/watch?v=GyY-2uWZ6SM

I used to be in the drug game when i was young
just make sure there are no ties between you and your hit
you just do it and walk away small gun .22 is good not to loud ..
all I have to say about it

You are a dumb fuck

>I live in a country where weapons are really regulated. I don't know where you live and the laws about it in your country, but if you want to kill someone where I live you might as well use a knife
use a bomb.
readbtw which country?

500$ is a lot just to kill one guy. Also you need training to kill someone on a long range.

That's a solution indeed.

Baguette land

Not in reality a standard backpack is 16-18 inches faggot.now you can buy bigger but then you look fucking suspicious as fuck especially when you are trying to make a getaway while breaking down the gun . Fucking stupid kids with their video game bullshit. Learn to reality

What a shit country. Only notable things from France are Bic and white flags

>Simple clean
Kek
>Ten years and thousands of dollars
>Carrying around a gun
Vs
>Ten bucks .
> No traces
>Less than eight hours

The lesson is don't over complicate shit your autistic fucks

Well, not everyone went in history class.

Be white amerifag.
Join police.
Shoot niggers.
Claim self defence.

>tries to make a quick comeback
>still can't English
>baguettes fall out of pockets

...

Correct me then.