Is this what sex is like?

Is this what sex is like?

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Sup
twitter.com/AnonBabble

warm, gooey, salty, and when you are done your hands are greasy and you may have some feelings of regret... yeah that's about right

from the inside.

A bad joke. Good thing we humans have a bad sense of humor.

>Americans
Not even once.

Yep

luckily not

A warm apple pie

Hair?
Where's the HAIR?

What's that called

no. that's what obesity is like

Having to very carefully incert your penis into some shitty mouth without teeth whilst wrapped in plastic and hardly feeling anything, in real life guys are on top 99.9% of the time you have to stare at the stupid faces she makes trying way too hard to be sexy and listen to the retarded monkey like sounds she makes while you thrust around and try to nut...honestly bottom bitch guys are not much better it must be a bitch thing to just do the plywood position: lay flat and get nailed.

Its pretty good you should get off the internet and try it.

>salty
>gooey
>greasy hands
virgin detected

Either that or you've only been fucking roasted beef with extra bacon, but it's not like I can expect other virgins to know when one virgin is trying to sound knowledgeable in front of other virgins anonymously.

Fucking christ... you people are pathetic.

This guy is the only one who seems to know what's up, so far.

Mfw id rather fuck that pizza than a bitch.

sex

Iv fucked just about anything for research purposes... I appreciate your appreciation

gross and salty, but you want it anyway? yes.

This guy only gets cheap hookers. Try harder.

And you are a virgin.

Gross and salty? What sort of McDonald's bitch were you fucking?
> inb4 your mum
> You're a virgin

You mentioned a few things only someone who has done it would know, not what the average retard who just touched someone's crotch one imagines it might be.

The retarded faces and the cramps people never mention, unless they're used to it and actually have experienced it before.

Quads wasted on a cheap troll trynna make people think all bitches are not cheap whores...jackpot

Ok I want to bang a hooker this weekend but I wanna do it right and have a good experience. Anyone with Tips/Advice/Success stories would be greatly appreciated! Thanks

Get a life faggot it was a joke. Smelling your moms panties doesn't count as sex

No, that's better.

Nice digits, but I've been fucking since I was 15, probably way before you were even born, I never fucked a girl though.

Try again bitch boy.

No, that appears to be some kind of pizza pie

user, i think we are making history...two anons in one thread on Sup Forums that are not virgins or bated by trolls... and the cramps yes im a really fit guy but when you are flexing to keep your dick hard through this bitch and her animal planet noises you cramp up while you are up there doing all the work. God forbid she tries to move at the same time as you its never in sync and it makes you go a little soft and it gives her like 30 more minutes of you pounding before she gets the shakes and has to squeese either the bed or you.

>be me, 40 years old and married now
>fondly recall intercourse with many women over the last 2-3 decades

>>skin tastes salty
>>lube can be greasy
>>plunging your cock into a pussy you've already filled with cum several times earlier int the day is rather gooey
>feel pity for virgin that's obviously never touched a woman or he would know all of the above
>mfw

>Is this what sex is like?

No pizza is better.

Fake and gay.

Dont fuck bitches and whores then you tard.

You forgot how the bottom bitch tries to take more dick while pushing you away with their legs or shoving their hips into the bed making your angles off and then they act all upset that you arent fuckung them yet as the frustration and the condom make you get softer.

>meme pizza

Seriously food "buffs" and restaurants need to stop this crap, its fucking embarrassing if you're a true food lover

Yes, don't follow other people's tips/advices when it comes to sex, or you'll be greatly disappointed.

That's my piece of advice for you. Also, if you can have clean wipes, tissues, or clean rags at hand and, if you're fucking a guy, lube. Also, if you can, film it. You'll thank me later.

Probably any other type of advice is pure bullshit, and a waste of time.

It's as easy as not looking at her face while your fucking her. Close your eyes and imagine whatever you want like your whacking off. Also get a girlfriend who you can trust enough to not use a rubber, bonus points if you can get her on the pill. Ugly trustworthy gf is probably your best bet. They will ride you when your tired and try to make you happy.

>Implying there is something else?

>insert your race here
Not even once just thinking they are better "the merifats and chinks hahaha the nigs the jews. Not us though"
Probably a europoor

Sex doesn't leave waste in your arteries

...

Rather gay, indeed, but I can't complain since they were always underage.

Still, not fake at all.

>sex advice from anons is always dissapointing.
>procedes to give sex advice.
Pic related is yfw posting this.

>upset that you arent fuckung them yet

How small is your penis?

Yes, but only if the other person is fat, greasy, and smells like pizza.

...

>

Fair enough then.

Yeah. Meet a "real" girl who isnt a slut nor a cunt to you.

I have tried that route, i hate to sound like this but i am quite cursed with a big dick and the only bitches i can find that can take the whole thing allowing them to ride the dick from on top, (as their legs dont work well when properly stimulated) they are ugly bitches that feel like i am fucking a warm bucket of water tbh.

I love pizza as much as the next guy but this looks like having sex with a 600lb woman. I like sex but i don't like it that much..

>ugly bitches
That explains why someone would get soft.

Why do so many guys fuck ugly people? I don't get it. At that point you're probably better off beating to CP or something, since fucking someone ugly also has the added burden of having to deal with a clingy fuck trying to get into your pants.

Fuck, just by thinking about it I already get turned off.

>proving or even re-gaining virginity by Attacking typos so violently you miss the point of the post that is right in front of your face
Ill use smaller words: the gyst, me try fuck bitch. Me have large peepee try put in bitch, bitch push away because "pain". Dick get soft from not being in bitch and listen to her like she is baby. She then remember my peepee is not in her vagina then she get mad it is not but she cause this.
Eat a dick.

Stop wasting gets ya darn troll.

Okay, but pizza leaves you with instant gratification. Sex requires effort.
Pizza smells good. Sex smells weird.
Pizza is gone afterwards. People "want to cuddle" afterwards, and fall asleep in your bed.

Pizza > Sex.

found the virgin

i'd honestly choose that over sex with a solid 9/10 woman.

i fuck a 9/10 maybe once every 3 years, but i've never had one of these in my life and i think it'd be worth it.

>he fell for the salty and gooey meme
Nigger, come back when you know better, please.

>incert


Why are you such a fucking retard, user?

Because the pretty ones get away with too much shit and they are nuts also the pretty ones are even worse at fucking because all guys want to do is look at them and do all the work so your choice is this in the real world: pretty bitch is a super bitch wont blow you and complains your dick hurts her always ruins sex has bad habits and is used to being a princess, or an ugly bitch that is stutdy can take a beating you can train them to do tricks they will suck a dick and try to compensate for their ugliness and they dont always ruin sex dispite their best efforts. There are a few batshit crazy chicks with gross vaginas in the middle ground its always a tossup tho you never win with them either way.

Here's what i know, muffin.

People who are really shitty liars try to aggressive assert that their position is correct. They overcome lack of experience and their insecurity with chest pounding and obnoxious bullshit such as "Nigger, come back when you know better, please." That kind of posturing, especially online, is a big red flag.


You've convinced no one here that you've even been near women irl by calling people out on their jokes.

Fuck off.

Refer to i hope you are a troll ugh his spelling and grammar.
>bruh
Oops spelled that wrong two. My bad. Have fun being a virgin.

Projecting much?

If this is your attempt to prove how much you're not a virgin, then you failed, mate.

Keep arguing with yourself, btw.

>I am not a virgin because I call others virgins

This shit never gets old.

Found the virgin.

Get him user! attack that grammar! That sentence structure! Breathe real heavy amd type real fast boy! Make your mother proud!

Lol fag

Found the virgin.

pretty easy

You're exclaiming way too much. Each following exclamation point diminishes the impact of the previous sentence. Might as well hold the Shift key and go to town on your keyboard at this point.

Yes

Got him! Im such a troll! Lol!

Found the virgin.

No it's what heart attack/being American is like.

Dumbest thing ever. Dough is way too thick.

Like warm pizza pie

ITT: Virgins pretending to be offended by other vigins calling them virgins.

Sup Forums in a nutshell.

>look at how much I am not a virgin by not engaging with these virgins

Found the virgin.

...

actually i could tell you that just from using fleshlight, and physical activity

No, that's masturbating

Nice digits, but only a virgin would be offended for being called a virgin, besides I'm only 13, and child sex is illegal as far as I'm concerned, unless you're a criminal who thinks underage people should have sex before the age of 18.

Ugh.. wash your pocket pussy man. After gooey it's going to become crusty.. you don't want to feel crumbs on your dick.

>besides I'm only 13

You must be 18 years or older to post here, my virgin friend.

What are you going to do about it? Report my post and make this shithole even worse?

The problem in this website are the overgrown manchildren who post here pretending they're something they're not, real children improve the quality of this board, while reddit fucks who come here only because they failed at life are the real cancer to this place.

You should be ashamed of yourself if you're over 25 and you still use 4chun.

>What are you going to do about it?

Global rule 2.

Sup Forums.org/rules

>Report my post and make this shithole even worse?

I ain't no snitch.

>The problem in this website

Strongly disagree.


>You should be ashamed of yourself

No.

>if you're over 25 and you still use 4chun.

Why 25?

yeah i figured, failed experiment anyway, cum really fails as lube

>expect other virgins
you know you just said youre a virgin right.. and youre projecting. I've fucked dozens of women. It's easy when youre not a nerd like you.

Hey kiddo, kys

It's also like this

Sure, virgin.

brb kms

Check'd the quads.
Found the virgin.

Today has been a good day.

id say its better than sex but damn this is some disgusting looking food

idk but it looks amazing

sex isn't half as good as that thing looks. Just saying

lol this guy has never been in a committed relationship

only time sex is this shit is on one-night stands

I figured it out it's called a pizza cake apparently.

IT FEELS LIKE DUBS MY NIGGA

>only time sex is this good is on one-night stands

fixed it for you, goes downhill from there fast

..

We have chemicals that facilitate attachment. So no.. sex with people you care about is clearly fucking better. That's just biology.

69 tells the truth.
A pizza won't stop being tasty after you buy it.

Virgin trips checked