How do I make my mom see my hardon, better if she sees it bare and she doesn't suspect that it was intended?

How do I make my mom see my hardon, better if she sees it bare and she doesn't suspect that it was intended?

Bump

If you think that's gonna make her wanna fuck you, you're wrong.

She's divorced.

Your chances are still not any better guy.

Bump for interest

Bumping up

Jerk off where you know she is going to be...when she walks in on you acting all surprised and offended stare her right in the eye and finish like a boss!

Jack off watching porn in a common area of the house, like on a PlayStation in the living room. Wear headphones so you can pretend you didn't hear her coming home.

Agreeing with the other guy. Its probably not gonna make her want to fuck you. But it doesnt hurt to try.

My idea would be when she comes home just jerk off really loudly to mother son incest porn and moan mommy or something along those lines with the door open a bit. When she sees, if she confronts you just say you thought nobody was home. If she brings up that is was incest porn and you were moaning her name, there are 2 outcomes. 1, she gets so turned on it leads to fucking. 2. She scolds you and says thats not acceptable behavior and you get embarrassed as shit for a while.

sauce on that scene?

>hurr durrr gonna show my mom my dic then she will want sum fuk XD

Op, since you seem to have never touched a vagina before, let me tell you something. Most women aren't going to drop their panties at the sight of a bulge.

I don't know...i just googled milf porn on images

My mom's sides would explode if she caught me jerking off

Then wat wud? -_-

Notice: I can jerk in anywhere other than my bathroom cause i am hygenic af

Well at least then you have an opening to talk about sex with her.

Are you the guy from /s/ earlier? The one who was posting nudes of their mom?

Can't*

No dude. Sorry for dissapointing you. BTW repost! Please!

>thinks that changes anything

Who the fuck jerks off in the bathroom?

Someone post the greentext with the dad confronting the son.

When I was 15 I just walked out of bathroom with a hardon when I heard her coming up the stairs, she got a full view of me completely nude with a rock hard erection, she just looked at me and said i should probably put some clothes on. She caught me fapping a few times, it was all good

do it pussy

Kids

Intellects. No cleanup needed just nut right into the toilet

>oh shit, don't open that! I sent that to the wrong person!

I jerk in the bathroom, but I'm married with kids, so it's kind of like being a kid again. Also, sink, lotion and toilet paper make it very convenient.

i feel like i'm the only one that doesn't enjoy using lotion can't explain it just feels boring

There are stories about long lost moms and sons reunited as adults that start fucking. Even those moms where reluctant and ended up feeling weird and stopping. If she was interested in having sex with you she would have been already trying to seduce you. Realistically the only way you can have sex with her is to either drug and rape her or have some really good blackmail.

Kek well played

Cut/uncut? I figure uncut guys wouldn't use it at all

Boring? No, it avoids raw skin on skin rubbing and massive dick burn.

Bad idea. Nobody accidentally sends dick pics to anyone. She'll know it was meant for her. Worst case youll get a lecture about not sending those types of pics to anyone.

uncut guess its all you can do if you're cut? i wouldn't know

Well first, if I was you, I'd immediately go see a fucking psychologist.

Do you still live with her? If yes then I have a few ideas.

Y'all watch too much pornography if you think you're actually gonna fuck your mom. Sure it happens but usually it just ends up with people in jail and your entire families reputation ruined.

Kinda. No foreskin to slide back and forth, so your shaft can get pretty raw from all the friction without some lube
>not that you asked

Is she a rageing alcoholic

Get(act) drunk and try to fuck her that way.

Also a bad idea because she knows you don't have a gf (Obvs since you want to fuck your mom) and will probably assume you were trying to send it to a dude.

Just FYI, as a parent, id never fuck one of my kids. Trust me, i love to fuck, but i would never see a child of mine as a sexual object. Your mom would literally have to be some sort of sick person (addicted and extremely desperate) in which case, you wouldnt be here asking how to get in her pants. Trust me when i tell you, from what ive seen and read, its usually the mothers who would sell their kids for stupid shit, about the only ones who would screw you. The ones who are normal and screw their kids, screw them regardless of their wishes.

Its kendra lust. Dont know scene

You can start by killing yourself

Not OP. Why? Plenty of people, men and women have incest fetishes. Just because society deems it wrong its wrong? Its just a carnal urge. Nothing wrong with it. That being said i prefer it in porn other than real life for me at least. Might be different if my mom was smoking hot but shes just average.

Tell em

this, you're pretty much programmed to not find your close family attractive, at least if you've known them your whole life

I also don't use lotion

Kek

Humans are supposed to produce hormones that cause a lack of sexual desire for people they're related to. Not societal, evolutionary. You're just a biological freak is all.

sounds like a fucking nightmare

i do wonder which is better in terms of the feeling/time it takes to cum etc but i'm glad i'm not cut sounds horrible tbh

>obv since you want to fuck your mom

Ok. Now provide a source of proof for this evidence.

Not true. Did it with my younger sister. Totally consenting. Went on for a year or so. I regret it, but I was just born a sexual deviant.

Thats hot.

Greentext pls

Cut here, still plenty of skin to move back and forth. Maybe mine was left with some slack, but my dick skin certainly isn't stretched so tightly that I need lube to jack my dick.

there's obviously exceptions but 99.9% of the time that is the case

It's not going to happen I'm afraid.
Trust me, if she wanted to fuck you would know.
Just go back to your degenerate porn like the rest of us.

Ricky? is that you?

It's not horrible if the procedure goes well, and you do it young. I've never had any issue with it, anyway. I still think it should be outlawed though. There's not a single other body part we'd let some hebe doctor slice off our children. Kind of a fucked up tradition.

Idk how to greentext but long story short. I was in break from college. She had just graduated from high school. We were drinking and nobody was home. Decided to get into hot tub. Tun was like 85 degrees and we both started freezing. End up sitting almost in top of each other. Drunk kiss. She puts hand down my shorts. I'm hard as a rock. Get out of cold tub and go inside to couch. Laying face to face. More kissing. She puts hands down my shorts again and pulls out dick. Rubbing it. She pulls her panties to the side and guides me in. I came inside her within 30 seconds. She was the aggressor. It was fucking weird and crazy. Don't recommend.

It is not being related to the person that matters it is being raised with them. Step parents/siblings will get the same disgust. There is a thing called genetic sexual attraction where close relatives (moms, sons, dads, daughters, brothers, sisters, etc) have somewhere around a 50% chance of developing strong sexual feelings toward a family memeber if they where separated at a young age and reunited as adults.

I fuck my mom all the time send her flowers and watch her favorite movie. Then slip her some rufalin then bash her brains in with a blunt object so she can't wake up. Then gingerly pop out her eyeballs and insert something in her mouth so she doesn't go all rigger on you.

i suppose you didn't have to deal with the horror of when you first peeled back your foreskin when you were young and it actually hurt to touch

I'm cut but my skin is stretched like fuck when I have a boner. Can't jack without lotion. Parents mutilayed me cause was normal at the time. Being uncut is much more acceptable for kids in the us these days. I'm and old fag.

Fair enough, I was just repeating some bullshit I heard.
>fiction and falsehood

Tagged the wrong post which is probably obvious, but here's the short version.

nice

">" before text btw

I sucked off my older brother when I was a kid...

I'm a guy, too...

Oh. Thx. I'm not trying to romanticize the encounter. My younger sisters were s chalky active before I was and would talk about sex and walk around the house wearing hardly anything. They were popular and I was not. All this detailed the normal instincts to avoid sexual encounters with family. I didn't have that filter or it just broke down quickly. Idk.

*sexually active

Fuking auto correct. Chaulky sisters

imo best show

you ever jerk off thinking about it or was it just a one time thing?

finally someone that is cut and isn't insecure

all my friends that are cut make "anteater" jokes because their only reality is having no foreskin since their parents decided to cut it off

Try catfishing.

Do not go from 0 to 100, if you have the slightest chance of banging your mom you'll lose that forever.

Be good friends with your mom. Talk to her as if she was a kid. Role play like you are married to her. Make some sex jokes and see how she reacts. If she reacts positive escalate. "Accidental" touches and shit. If she don't forget banging her. Then maybe you can try "she seeing your weiner"

You know she's seen dicks before, right? Yours isn't special. Even if it is, it's not special enough to warrant abomination.

Get in the bath. Get all washed and soapy. Play with dick until large and seeping pre-cum. Shout and ask for a towel. Profit

if you actually want her to see your dick, this would be the best route

send a dick pic with something like "you're the best girlfriend ever" or something like that

she'll see your hard dick and assume it was a mistake, but you wont get anything out of it other than that

This all happened years ago. The first weeks after I would get instantly turned on by the thought and jerked a lot. We talked out of fear of what we had done and decided to do it again. We fucked 6 times in total over a year ish and then decided it was not healthy. It stopped being hot at that point. It's still a little awkward and I feel like a bad person having done it. Not fap material.

Op talk to a lisenced professional please. Not even kidding.

>hygenic af
>plans to fuck his mom in the pussy he came out of

cont.

if shes an incest freak like you (genetics) she might save the picture and secretly fap to it, so thats another plus

What makes you want to fuck your mom? Is she just that hot or is it your easily explained Oedipus complex? If it's the former, please provide pics so we can understand. No excuses, you have paint at least, you can obscure her face.

Yeah, it's a fucked up "norm" here in the US unfortunately.

He hasn't had pussy since pussy had him. Can you blame him?

" Mom ? Can I get back in ? Pleaaaase ?"

OP, it's very simple. While she's asleep, chloroform her. Once she's out, force-feed her ecstasy and xanax. Do whatever you like at this point, as she won't remember a thing, but she will love every second of it. When she inevitably passes out again, clean her up, clothe her, and put her back in bed. She will think she had an incredible sex dream about you, and if it doesn't lead to her fucking you again, at least you got your fantasy in.

If OP added a contact named Mary or Melissa, something with an M. Then he could say his phone mixed up his finger placement. The blame is on the phone.

or the sink

>Whoops, I made my mom OD. Time to become homeless...

Newfag

grab her right by the pussy when she says "wtf"pin her to the ground and rape her

Nah. Been here for years. Just never been asked to tell a story and never felt the need to tell a story before today.

Still living at home. Kek

Her body will pay the rent

she wiped shit our of your asshole for years while you made her life a living hell. she's never going to find you sexually appealing