So, my dumb ass thought it would be a good idea to join the British army (I knew my grades would be fucked so why not?) i sign up and shit and go on a 3 day selection course. everyone from across the country were there.
1st day of being there, I distinguish the cunts from the cool dudes, that's when I saw him. I don't remember his name, but I remember his skin was as red as a plump tomato, so I shall call him tomato number 8. (We got given shirts with numbers on them so they knew who we were) at first tomato 8 no one really noticed him, he was probably 5 ft and had nasty ass glasses, he made himself apparent later on.
The second day was dedicated to medical and fitness tests, a fuck ton of people for some reason or the other (probably aids) failed the tests and were sent home, me being the dashing young cracker I was passed them with flying colours. So did tomato 8, at about 2:00 we were given a break. I was sitting on the top of a bunk bed conversing with my fellow crackers on what they wanted to do if they joined the army.
Out of no where, tomato 8 starts roasting people, it was obvious he was trying to get attention so for the most part he was ignored.
That was until tomato 8 thought it would be a good idea to take my shoes off my feet. I was pissed. I had bought them especially for this occasion. He put one in a bin and threw the other out the window.
Normally I would have squared up to him. But because I wanted to join the army really badly so I could rape women and children, I let it slide, I picked my shoe out the bin, some kid tried to reach out the window and grab the other (we were on the ground floor).
By now this kid was dangling out the window. Tomato 8 saw his chance. And lifted his legs over his head and he fell out. The kid was pissed, he said how he would cave tomato 8s skull in and shit.