Weird stuff you did thread

Weird stuff you did thread

>in primary school when I was 8 to 11 ish, I was pretty beta, even then.
>kids were always trying to "flex" swag but they were too young to understand violence, drugs, sex, and we were in a very sheltered white neighbourhood, so there was never porn mags or anything floating around the woods.
>some cool kid, the first kid at our school to start wearing snapbacks, one day started a new fad. To show off to the girls at recess, he put a handful of change in his mouth (a few nickels and pennies) and swallowed it.
>soon enough, about half the kids were eating change during recess and lunch.
>I considered it but never really thought of it as a logically plausible way to flaunt swag to females
>one day some kid threw up a bit and everyone laughed at him when he was trying to swallow a really dirty penny.
>"at least I can tried, user can't even get it in his mouth"
>what
>somehow decide that the only way to redeem myself is to outdo all of these faggots
>the next day, we had some presentation or something and the teacher turned off the lights for two minutes or so of silents. Might have been rememberance day.
>start shoveling coins into my mouth. See other kids watching out of the corner of their eyes.
>one of the coins felt big so I quickly inspect it. Says "hong kong 5" on it. I tried to shovel that bad boy down the hatch.
>wake up on the floor of the class. Everyone is gone. I think I threw up because I'm lying on a towel.
>rats

I thought the whole change eating thing was normal kid stuff until I brought it up with friends a few days ago and noone recalls it from their schools.

lolwat

Lolwat

What idk I just thought it was weird how I thought it was normal until like two days ago that kids went through that phase. Expected other channers to have better stories.

>read "warriors" books as a kid
>its about cats forming a society
>wanted to be a cat
>I needed a tail
>rolled a blanket around a stick to make a rudimentary tail, and taped it between my legs to make a good prosthetic tail
>it starts falling apart so I try to handle it back together
>parents walk in to see me stroking monster dong
>never really discussed?

bump

I hope your parents dealt with you for being so foolish.

I'm decently sure I was never this fucking dumb

OP here. Link people to this thread so we can get this thing started. Spam some memes so this constantly stays on page one. TOP KEK

also captcha is annoying

>Be me
>Be 5
>Convinced I was a super hero
>Had my own cape and everything
>I was "Awesome Man"
>One day, get an idea
>I wanted to fly like Superman
>Got my 11 year old brother to tie a rope around my waist and attach the rope to the fan
>Jump off of table I was standing on
>Fan breaks
>Fall and break my nose
>Fan falls on top of me

MEMES BEANS AND WASHING MACHINES.

Your parents must have been thrilled with your devotion to saving the world.

Placed attached in malls and stores trashcans.

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine! Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish." Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"! Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she will Let it go. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk. Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits! Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? A: Kitty Perry Q: What did the pencile say to the other pencil? A: your looking sharp. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together! Q: What is the most hardworking part of the eye? A: the pupil Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it! Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? A: Guardians of the Galaxy. Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? A: Swimming trunks. Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? A: At the BP station! Q: What do you call a baby monkey? A: A Chimp off the old block. Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away? A: A taxi driver. Q: "How do you shoot a killer bee?" A: "With a bee bee gun."

>be me
>be 9
>be mildly sick enough to not go to school
>not sick enough to not play pokemon all day long
>pokemon emerald just came out
>ohgodyes.jpg
>be playing on bed all day, eventually get bored but still walk around to level up my pokemon
>start liking going and battle the female beach NPC not sure why
>get somewhat of a hard on
>whatisthis.wav
>notice it feels nice to wobble it around
>eventually cum and feel great
>keep on playing pokemon more hyped
>mfw my first wank was playing pokemon
>mfw it was probably one of my best wanks

Honestly, they should've seen my aspergers diagnosis coming.

>Be chilling on street with neighbour kids at about age 7
>One of the girls who was an absolute swine invited me to have a juice box
>Go into her house and reach the fridge to grab the goods
>Tells me I have to earn mine and I have to complete a task
>Tells me to smell her bum
>Wtf.png
>Do it for the sweet kool-aid jammer
>I put my nose in her shorts
>She rips the most putrid toot for a child, not volume but stench
>I gag and keel over
>She laughs and acts like nothing fucked just happened
>Every time she brings me a juice I get to smell her foul farts
>She tells me thats how babies are made
>I believe it for a solid year and get freaked out that I'm going to be a father at fucking 7
>Can never have juice without thinking about the smell of mongol shit

They should have given you a reminder to quash that behavior.

...

Cute. The first ones are usually the best.

Where does one acquire these?

They did. I'm over that shit now. At least I'm not a complete social retard.

Sporting Goods stores. Amazon too, but probably want to pay cash if you are going to place it in a public place.

What did they do exactly?

Therapy

You got off lightly then.

>live in suburbs of Chicago
>fairly quiet and modest life
>nothing to complain about
>except bugs
>hate bugs
>fuck bugs
>not bees
>bugs
>once a month, when parents aren't home, I turn on all the lights in the house once it turns dark
> take off the screens off the window, and wait
>I wait for hours, sometimes one hour if there has been lots of rain the nights before, sometimes up to 4 if there's not many bugs
>once there is enough, I go on a rampage using pic related
> paint it black is blasting
> granpappywouldbeproud.png
> I shoot these motherfucking bugs everywhere in my house
> little bloodstains everywhere, like as if I was stabbing someone with a needle and dragging him all over the house
> exoskeletal obliteration
Pic related is the best 50$ I have ever spent.

They thought I was dyslexic and had autism, turns out I just couldn't hear from one ear meaning I couldn't hear the world properly so I said words I listened to incorrectly and answered inchorenetly.

Though you probably still have autism.

Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other? A: They don't have the guts. Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? A: SUPPLIES! Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? A: Because he was a paleontologist. Q: What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? A: The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup. Q: Why was the student's report card wet? A: It was below C level! Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? A: Tentacles. Q: What did the traffic light say to the car? A: Don't look, I'm changing. Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Nacho Cheese Q: How do you find a Princess? A: You follow the foot Prince. Q: What streets do ghosts haunt? A: Dead ends! Q: What did the penny say to the other penny? A: We make perfect cents. Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop. Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A: So he could have sweet dreams. Q: Why did the robber take a bath? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic Q: What music are balloons scared of? A: Pop music Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills! Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? A: Cool Music. Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? A: An umbrella. Q: Why did the belt go to jail? A: Because it held up a pair of pants! Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me and we will go places! Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? A: Flood lights! Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?

they fixed the dyslexia, not the autism :^) xddddd :VVVVVVVVV

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NOT SEE GIRAFFES IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL?

>LOGically

>be me, high school freshman
>history class
>learning about 9/11
>watching videos of the tragedy
>I think I'm the only on out of my chair
>I say aloud "can we watch that again?"
>The teachers assistant walks out crying
>didn't get sent to the principle or lectured
>mfw I got away with it

>be like 10
>never wiped my ass cause I always got shit all over my hands
>undies would get soaked in dump and then crust over
>was a lazy gross fucker so I would hide them behind furniture so my mom never found them
>well mom is busy with work and can't clean so she hires this old woman fucking veteran cleaning lady to keep the house nice
>a few days in she starts digging deeps into the bowls of our home cleaning ever inch and happens upon my rast nest of soiled, moldy, crusty as fuck undies
>she literally quits that day
my fucking shit undies made this 65 year old woman just nope the fuck out

Dirty boy.