Mischief thread, I'll start

Mischief thread, I'll start

>be me 8th grade end of year
>school does a gay end of the year barbecue for the middle schoolers
>8th grade gets out of class early to write inspirational quotes in chalk all over the sidewalk
>fuckyouraestheticbullshit.wav
>without thinking I write "i wanna die" in big blue chalk on the ground in plain daylight
>hands covered in chalk
>look over those 3 simple words as people come over and ask "user who wrote that?"
>realize what I've done
>"uhhh idk i just got here"
>put hands in pockets
>the whole staff comes over to see it
>they call all the high up administration
>ofuckwhathaveidone
>"user did you write that?" "user i know you wrote that" "ten bucks user wrote that"
>deny all of it
>spend the rest of the day in the deans office telling them i didnt do it
>luckily there were no cameras around so they have no proof
>if i constantly deny it they cant do anything
>get released after 3 hours
>day is basically over
>they start a "full fledged investigation" for it
>lol i did this
>end of school year so nothing they can do

My autistic ass made the staff scared that someone would actually kill themselves
zozzle

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Bump

You should have walked off the very second you got finished.

Please someone post!

summer fag the thread

This one time in 5th grade I slapped my bully so hard he got a bruise. When the deans came I said I didn't know who did it. Then when they asked him who I did it he said someone slapped him from behind and didn't notice because he was scared I'd hit him again

my autistic self didn't think it would be a big deal

Razorblocks will end soon

c'mon guise. post stories, I put time and effort into mine. Or post some sweet memes. top kek

op is a faggot

huh

this is true

>be me
>have a girlfriend who is a twin
>got confused one day
>ended up fucking the dad

Real stories only kek

You have to be 18 to be on this site. It's one thing if you want to come look at the posts while you're still underage, but by posting you bring the overall quality of the site's discourse down notably.
Please leave, also please kill yourself.

are you retarded this means i was in 8th grade at the time

Bullies and misbehaving kids need a good slap.

Oh hey this must be patric kimpton from american heritage school in florida! hey buddy

I see trap hentai on the ads somebody help

moer stories guise. Memes. posts. EVERYTHING. I, OP command you

yeah guys as op said this was back in 8th grade... hes in 9th now chill out

thats where youre wrong kiddo

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>Be me 8th grade
>me and my cousin decide we should do some grafitti
>steal spray paint from dad
>go to school and meet my cousin
>me being an autistic 12 year old decide itd be a good idea to paint a huge swastika on a wall
>think no one saw me do it
2 hours later
>be at store with cousin
>dude walks up to us
>phone number and name pls
>me:fuck off dude
>cops come
>they say im a potential threat to my country because of it
>12
>said theyd listen to my phonecalls and overall just watch me
>mfw im a potential terrorist at 12
sorry the greentext is shit but english isnt my 1st language so

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Spotermun i Lugo spoturman I need pics of spotertkamian

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oh shit

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nice, meme faggot.

Be
.
Be

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Sorry patric kimpton this is now a spiderman thread

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But i like swamp thing

Good work!

OP here, i've reported your spiderman spam to the janitors. But thanks for the free bumps.

As soon as a janitor comes in here and clears out your infraction posts, we'll be able to get this party going again. Top kek

Are you fucking retarded

Speak for yourself. My mental age is like three. Because that's as high as I can count, mother-...wait, how does the rest of that insult go?

are you fucking retarded

No but your a dirty spammer. Read the rules kek kek kek

arent you also supposed to be over 18?

Rate i.4cdn.org/b/1501306040438.png

If you read the rules you would know saying you reported someone is against the rules ya goof

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Bump

Yeaa yeaa, your just mad that you've been reported. Enjoy having your posting privileges provoked sir. TOP KEK!

> senior year
> get super in to weight lifting xause I used to be a fat fag and I wanna be a muscley fat fag
>bring preworkout everyday for me and weight lifting buddy
>decide to pull a prank and get a Viagra capsule and open it and pour in his pre workout.
> 45 minutes in I tell him it's time for cleans
> "a-user, I cant. I don't know whats wrong but my dick is staying full mast"
>walks around with boner rest of the school day.

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Post some greentext somebody. I'm starting to get bored *yawn*

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isnt telling people you reported them also against the rules?

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But you need to show authority as the original poster. Take control of your thread. I'm sure the janitors will see things from my side of things.

>Be me
>Be in High School
>Broke my glasses the night before, super glued them to hold me over until I could get new ones.
>Took Super glue to school just in case
>Computer Lab time
>Teacher is waiting for the janitor to open the door, janitor doesn't come so teacher goes looking for him
>Give the glue to my friend,
>"Hey, put it in the lock"
>Janitor comes back puts in key but can't turn it.
>Huh, must be jammed or something
>Can't take key out.
>Did somebody mess with the door?
>Nobody speaks
>They had to remove the door and they opened the lock up to find the inside full of dried glue.
>Lock is ruined
>Investigation is done
>I keep my head down and mouth shut.
>Some fucking faggot ratted us out as being close to the door, narrowing it down to 5 of us.
>In class when asst. principal comes in names us. anon1, anon2, anon3 , user 4 and anon5 grab your things, you're suspended unless you tell me who it was.
>All of us kept our mouth shut.
>Shrug, don't give a fuck and leave early that day.

How do ei grren text

Use this key before every line of text ">"
Look forward to reading your story buddy! KEK kek Kek

OP BUMP

Another bump from your faithful and loyal OP

bumpity bump

bump

just another bump on the road

A kid on my bus tried to extort me for the return of my locker key. My locker was forced open earlier that day because I needed a book so the key was useless, but it was mine. So I took a frozen bottle of water from my bag, bashed it across his temple and took my key back. The principal found out and suggested meeting half way next time and fighting off school grounds. Faggot still has a scar from it.

>be me in 6th grade PE class
>a little early so I go to bathroom
>friends in bathroom getting toilet paper and wetting it in the sink, then throwing it on the ceiling so it sticks
>sick prank
>join them, having a grand time
>they throw tp bomb on the window between the locker room and bathroom, really obvious
>coach sees
>I get blamed

kek

What did your coach do?

post boipucci, user

nothing really, just got a lecture and had to scrape it off

>be me
>Let's call me mcDoodle
>was in 3rd grade
>I'm playing around in class with a spinning top (just fumbling it on my hands )
>le teacher screams at me "macdoodle I can't believe you are playing in class
>le bitch steals my top
>after class I pretend to leave my bag
>my mom comes to pick me up, I say I forgot my bag "gtg mum"
>le teachers in my school wore coats so when I got to my classroom I went inside the coat pocket and took my top
>le me thinks he got away with it
>el next día the teacher screams at me asking me if I took the top back
>le I poker face and say no
>she screams at me for another 5 minutes asking for it
>le I breathe out strongly
>Le teacher gets mad at me and says I disrespected her and proceeds to tell me to stay out in the hall for that class period
>letting is like a week after I lost my top and cried
>never do drugs. Kekkkkk keke kek

Pretty easy then.

>le teacher
So I see... 9gag summerfag

>Be me
>Age 11
>Mom owns a daycare
>I basically live in the daycare
>Brother bought these annoying ass chickens that would stay in a cage all day and never stop clucking.
>One day, on a holiday, I try to get some sleep, however, the chickens are louder than ever.
>I can hear them in every room.
>Pick up the nearest gumball and slingshot
>The loud noise of the gumball hitting the metal cage would scare the fuck out of the chickens and get them to shut the fuck up for a couple minutes.
>After about the third shot, I missed and hit the window and shattered it
>nofucksgiven.exe
>I close the blinds and wait until the next day when the daycare kids show up.
>I pinpoint the only kid who has a reputation for being a constant lier.
>Kid happens to be autistic.
>I open the blinds when everyone is in the backyard and wait for someone to notice the broken window
>Autistic retard is the first to notice the window and tells my dad
>Retard dad automatically assumes atistico broke the window.
>Autistic kid cant defend himself cuz compulsive liar.
>Autistic parents had to pay for the damages.
>I let an autist take the blame for breaking a window.

Hey, atleast I didn't get beat. c:

Heres another one from my days of autism in middle school

>be me 7th grade middle of year
>me and a friend (I'll call him bubba)
>theres this autistic kid in my grade that is addicted to pokemon and shit, regualar tard stuff
>bubba goes ahead and makes a fake account on instagram about him
>finds pictures of him from his dad's instagram and puts captions on them
>one of them was a picture of him sitting on santa's lap with a caption saying "for chwistmas i wished to not be autisitc"
>people thought it was actually him until they saw the captions
>whole grade talking about it
>bubba tells a bunch of people that it's him, and of course word gets out
>one morning while we were watching morning announcements, the staff says "will bubba, user, stacy #1 and stacy #2 stay behind please
>ofc the stacys turned him in
>i had nothing to do with it but i was friends with him and i knew about it
>bubba crying his eyes out while im frantically deleting my group chats and photos making fun of him
>go to deans office
>bubba and i go into their office while they yell at bubba
>akward as fuck
>literally bullying bubba, not saying he didnt deserve it
>"do you feel strong bubba? why are you crying bubba youre strong for making fun of a tard!"
>bubba yells "SHUT UP" and cries harder than ive seen anyone cry
>they continue to go through his ipad for dirt on him
>find out he steals from publix
>find a text from him to some girl saying the deans are dickheads
>"you think we're dickheads? we're doing our fucking job!"
>"you guys are fucking dickheads!"
>more yelling, im just sitting there akwardly
>theyre listing all the rules hes broken, bragging about how hes getting expelled
>the tards PARENTS walk in
>bout to get spicy
>"YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON BUBBA" etc.
>they decide to finally move me out of the room
>sitting in office next to them, still hear yelling
>they finally release me and i go back to the hallways almost bursting in tears laughing
cont.

>go back to hallways and everyone is asking what happened
>"BUBBA GOT EXPELLED"
>kek
>never saw him again
>i never got in trouble but got got a front row seat for all of it

>7th grade
>Instagram
Afraid to enter highschool this year summer friend?

instagram has been around longer than that, friend

Definitely worth it

>be me in poverty countrie
>be me in 3rd grade
>i was walking with my brother after lunch since they gave us an hour break
>brother best friend comes along to tell us about this kid who is having and argument with him
>brother goes to see what's going on, I follow
> after some minutes of arguing guy who was having a problem with my brother's friend, dude decides to slap my brother
>no no bad idea
>my brother basically has him in a lock while punching him in the head
>broders friend stars kicking bully dude in the legs
>meanwhile I punch him in the stomach
>after five minutes we let him go
>Bully dude tells mom
>next day
>me my brother and his friend get called down to the main office
>im surprised to also see bully dude and his mom, next to my mom
>deans give us lecture about how it was not ok
>we shrug it off
>then bully mom looks at my group like we are fucking autismos
>my mom looks at bully mom and explains to her how her look was not alright

Moral is to always beat up people if you leave in poverty country

ok, I've got one
>around 5th grade
>friends with my neighbor, I call him jr
>we're fucking around outside, playing with sticks like they're swords and shit
>go down the alley behind his house to find some better sticks
>jr finds a magazine on the ground
>"Check this out, it's got naked girls in it!"
>it was a catalogue for a porn by mail, full of dilapidated pussies and bare chests
>I had the chance to look up porn on the family computer once, but i wasn't prepared for all that was in there
>plan instantly forms in my head
>"jr put that down, we're not supposed to have that"
>I'm seen as a goody two shoes type to him, so he's not surprised
>I tell him that i'm going to tell his mom if he doesn't put it down and come on,
>"fine. maybe we shouldn't be looking anyways."
>right after we're done playing, I bolt to the magazine, hide it in my pants, and run back to my house to stash it in the bathroom
>use it to jack off for about 6 months
i'm so sorry jr, I had to do it.

OP here, thx 4 all the cool posts. you rock dudes.

>be me in 8th with Good friend who I will name Patriko
>be walking back to class after lunch
>patriko says hey look
>*pushes me in to bush *
>patriko scarms at the top of his lungs "RGB Chair"
>be me
>be embarrassed
>get cuts on legs after falling in bush
>next day me and patriko are walking back from aftercare and I push him into a bush
>my autismo screams "RGB chair "
>patriko gets pretty bad cuts on his legs and arms
>be me laugh
>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaahah

Kill me now OP

wtf

are you actually this retarded

>Be me in 4th grade
>Was a fat kid
>Had a crush on my teacher
>Blonde chick 7/10
>Want to express my love for her
>Decide to go fully autistic
>Walk up to her desk
>Pull up my shirt exposing my 4th grade fat tits
>She's in shock and yanks my shirt down
>Tells me to never do that again
>Having to sit by myself for the rest of day
>Found a small stapler
>Decide to staple my thumb
>Start screeching liking lamb being raped
>7/10 teachers rushes over to my aid
>She's in panic
>Grabs scissors to pull staple out
>whatthefuck.jpg
>She manages to get it out
>Feels remorse for me and hugs me
>MFW I felt her tit rub my face

You are a fucking savage, I like you

>Be me
>Live in spanish neighborhood so lots of parties, loud music etc.
>Neighbor invites other hispanics to party
>One of the people invited had a pregnant dog
>It gave birth at the party
>Next door neighbor decided to illegally adopt one of the pups
>Fast forward 3 years
>Everyday, when the dog hears a noise, the dog barks
>Fucking annoying
>My birthday happened and i had a candle that played happy birthday in the most annoying tone
>masterplan.exe
I had a friend with me. Lets call him bob.
>Me and bob walk in the front yard with the candle and proceed to smash it.
>Extract the speaker device of the candle
>Run to backyard
>Its night time so noone can see us doing this
>Me and bob hop fence with speaker playing annoying song
>Find dog bed
>fucking disgusting
>Mold, insects, feces
>"user, you do it"
>bob hands me speaker and i lift and place it under rotting dog bed
>We go back to my home
>next day
>Had no sleep
>Fucking speaker is loud as shit, i can hear it from my room
>Every five minutes the dog barks at it making it worse
>whathaveidonewrong.png
>this goes one for 2.5 weeks
>neighbor assumed that it was some other neighborhood kids that were fucking with him
>He sets up $2000 dollar illegal security system
>built metal fences along perimeter with palet wood and metal plates
>Got a new guard dog
>this dog is louder than the other one
>All because of one candle
>be today
>he was reported for illegally installing cameras at a rented home and building a fence around it
>also needed to neuter dog
>all because of a candle
>mfw
>kek

>be me in 8th grade
>sitting in math class while teacher is lecturing
>i'm dozing off, hate algebra
>classmate, not really friend but is cool, name is marcus
>marcus is one of those guys that fucks around all the time
>marcus sitting a table over notices the hole in my ripped jeans
>"what's that user" in seductive voice
>"fuck off marcus"
>"what's that user" marcus starts sticking his finger in the hole
>he starts slow
>he progressively finger blasts it more and more violently
>"REERGHHHAGHH WHATS THAT user"
>i am speechless what the fuck do i do, i start holding in my laughter.
>teacher notices and calls us out middle of class

Me like a good finger blasting

Man, dog might be loud, but you fucking killed it, I would feel sad as fuck

>a few years ago
>be living with my buddy who is an extremely paranoid war vet
>browsing Sup Forums as he plays Skyrim on the X-Box
>thread comes up "I'll rap everything you post in this thread and post it on Youtube"
>make a random post "user Anonson, I see you sitting there in your wife-beater playing that video game. Going to get you bitch"
>chuckle and wait for him to make his rap and put it on Youtube
>twenty minutes later the thread finishes and he posts the video and I listen to it at full volume
>usual shitty memes are being rapped "nigger, fuck this gay shit, nigger's tongue my anus...
>buddy looks over at me annoyed, 'what gay shit are you listening to?'
>idk man, just some shit I saw on Youtube
>all of a sudden "user ANONSON, I SEE YOU SITTING THERE IN YOUR WIFE BEATER..."
>the look on his face was priceless, all color drained and pure confusion
>"I'M GOING TO GET YOU BITCH!" goes back to regular nonsensical shit.
>this mother fucker leaps off the fucking couch and closes all the blinds, runs and gets his shotgun and starts peaking out through the blinds and shit
>gets really panicky, and I feign like I'm worried as fuck
>makes me play the song again a few times and clearly hears his name being said and what he's wearing
>he is freaked the fuck out
>never tell him it was me

Fucking kek.

Not a literally kill obviously

top kek

Another one
>in math class
>boring as heck
>new game between students
>whoever yells "stupid donkey" the loudest wins
>eighth grade humor amirite
>a few days pass of this game
>teacher sick of it
>AP comes in to watch class
>Think of a way to get a laugh
>next question raise my hand
>"Yes user, what do you think the answer is?"
>btw im known as the smart guy who is funny so the teacher likes me
>"yes, will when I worked it out," proceed to draw a donkey on the board
>"its pretty stupid though"
>class dies with laughter
>AP walks over to me and asked if that was ok to do
>"no sir"
>he tried to make an example of why you don't act stupid using me
>ohnoyoudont
>makes me apologize to teacher
>fake tears commence
>"i-Im s-sorry im a, stupid donkey"
>kek
>class laughs as it get escorted to detention
>come back next day and i am now appointed funniest guy at school
>worth it

I love how you Americans call sleveless t-shirts "Wife beaters" holy fuck