Hello Sup Forums, I'm a newfag but I want to tell my story here. Strap In

Hello Sup Forums, I'm a newfag but I want to tell my story here. Strap In.

> The Tards of War Part 1: Epilogue

>be me
>6th grade
>beta male that hangs out with alphas
>makes them feel better about themselves
>they're cucks
>new tard program starts by fall of that year
>enter 4 new, strange tards
> 1. Alpha Tard: Big Ass 6'1 Tard with no intelligence
> 2. Beta Tard: Lackey to Alpha, chill
> 3. The Speedster: Runs like a veloceraptor craving the puss
> 4. The Screech: He can shatter metal with his trademark death cry
>call them the "Quadriplegic Quartet"
>one day, walking to class
>Speedster zips around the corner "ZOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM"
>other three in tow
>hits an alpha friend
>"Dude, watch where you are going"
>ohshit.jpeg
>the cry of ten thousand tornado sirens fill the air
>everyone paralyzed
>except the tards
>mfw

More? You Decide.

give more

This might be the new Fats McGee and his Retard Three

if only OP delivers

This is true. OP must be typing up a storm if he is delivering.

holy shit never forgetti
>include me in screencap pls

>didn't pretype

Alright, lets go.

> The Tards Of War Part 2: The first Battle

>the Screech ran towards alpha cuck
>"TAAKE IT BAK'
>fist goes straight into his nose, breaking it
>Alpha Tard lumbers into the fight to pull the screech off of my friend, still raising hell from beneath our feet
>Screech forgets who he is and turns on Alpha Tard
>hos flailing does absolutely nothing
>screech silences and looks up at AT, feared for his life
>as soon as the AT wound his arm into a punch a tard wrangler tackled Screech
>every tard except Beta TArd gets put in a "Special Room"
>the battle was very short, but it sparked an outrage

>The Tards Of War Part 3: The Riots

>tards attack was on the news since little town had nothing else to report on
>kids fly into outrage
>everywhere the tards went, they tormented them and the wranglers
>tards get pissed, except Beta
>decides to hold a rally showing that tards are okay
>PLANNING MODE ACTIVATED
>for the next 2 months, i plan the most elaborate scheme to trigger all the tards
>plan is simple
> 1. get speakers
> 2. play recordings of the famous Screech
> 3. sit back and watch the chaos
>we set everything up without a hitch
>parade day
>tards in all different, exotic breeds come and sort of march in a straight line
>friend gives me the signal and I play the audio file

More? You Decide

he did say he was a newfag

Im cringing already and he hasn't even started

Type faster u cunt

more

Dis gon b gud.

no fats mcgee user at least told the damn story without stopping every post to ask if continue

Point made.

Fuck reading it I'll wait for a YouTube to post him reading it like Brenddanels or the scroll dude

>18 minutes later

Jokes on You, don't need a response.

> The Tards Of War Part 4: Fireworks

> SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Everything. Is. Gone.
>Wails of demons and monsters fill the air as many tards flip their shit
>tard wranglers take a second to process this, but it is too late
>they're ripping up decorations, shitting everywhere, and attacking the wranglers and passerbys
> "user, WATCH OUT!!!!"
>Speedster runs out of nowhere and into my gut
>sends me flying into the nearest wall, was in an alleyway and hit the back, was pretty long
>the Quadriplegic Quartet start doing this weird gang walk up to me with AT leading the pack
>fucked.avi
>look to see if my friends are still there
>gone
>doublefucked.avi
>" THERe HE iS BoZz" the beta says
> "I WANT HIMMMM" the AT says
> "NOO II WANTTHIM" the screech says
> "NOOOOOOO MMEEEEE" the speedster says
>they start having a minor hissyfit, not like the chaos in the streets
>i sneak away from the brewing mega shitstorm into the streets
>Speedster once again takles me, screeching his own variety of screech
>ohlordimgonnadie.jpeg
>"HEEESSS MINNNEEEEEE"

>The Tards Of War Part 5: Civil Tard

>AT lunges at speedster knocking him off of me
>screech lets out his roar as he charges into battle
>AT is throwing this arms like tree trunks into the speedster and the screesh is hopelessly flailing on AT
>Beta comes out of nowhere and knocks out speedster cold
>AT and Beta have to most intense fight
>its like UFC had a retarted baby
>Beta reaches into AT's pants and pulls out the hugest shit log ive ever seen
>shoves it into his mouth and shuts his jaw
>ohshit
>HE EATS IT
> Beta wasn't ready for it and gets bitch slapped by open palm AT
>down for the count
>AT turns to Screech, who has been sitting the enitre time
> HYPER MODE ENGAGE
>hyper screech rings out and AT falls to his knees like a mighty oak
>hes out
> screech walks over to me, still in hyper mode
> INCOMING CHAIR
>smacks him in the gut, making him puke everywhere and pass out
>i book it

Just gonna bumb for mo

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEE

Holy shit this is good

best story in a while

>The Tards Of War Part 6: Lockdown

>3 months since parade
>Quartet has been deemed the most fearsome gang of tards in the town
>Screech got put on xanax to stop the roar of tardom
>At and Beta still are friends after the log eating fight
>Speedster is confined to wheelchair
>they are back in school, 7th grade
>tard wranglers are more experienced that the last, so its hard to mess with them
>2 months later
>tests are coming up
>schools decides to hold a "fun day", just 2 hpurs to do whatever the fuck they wanted to do on the football field
>tards are allowed to go
>PLANNING MODE ACTIVATED
>pay 30 bucks to student who works with the tards to switch xanax pills with sugar pills
>loosen the bolts and the Speedsters wheelchair
>AT and Beta are fine
> "fun day rolls around
>time to release the tardnado
>fire 6 party poppers at once
>nothing
>wat
>turns out that a master tard wrangler has them sedated when she is there with them
>PLANNING MODE 2 ACTIVATED
>ask for tard wranglers help
>say that tard is in the parking lot and that I can handle the quartet while she is gone
>she buys in and leaves to stadium
>run to the other side of the field and fired the poppers again
>it worked

>The Tards of War Part 8: Rematch

>apparently they don't like party poppers, especially AT
>RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR
>oh shit the devil is loose
>tables of punch are thrown and AT's destructive path is imminent
>"EVERYBODY PANIC!"
>screams of the innocent erupt
>the gates are locked and we can't climb over
>what have i done
>it was like 'nam
>the tards came at unsuspecting kids loke the vietkong
>have minor vietnam flashback
>AT is barreling through kids and the other tards are trying to stop him
> "NO RuObERT! STuOp!" Beta said
>AT's Real name was robert
> "DON"T CALL ME THAT EVER AGAIN!"
>he said it normally, oh god
>he then proceeds to pull his pants down and pin Beta
>payback
>He takes DIARRHEA and lobs it into Betas head

Yes! Yes! More mooore!
These stories make me grow stronger!

was "part 8" a typo :v

"Like ufc had a retarded baby..."

no fuck you. Asking to be put in the screencap makes the entire thing look shitty. Either way stories dont have reaction posts

holy shit the first tard story I have seen on 4 chan post more

Nothing will ever top this
>

I dunno. Neal may be Neal, but nobody stops The Don and his Made Men.

but you gotta remember that this is middle school Neil. God knows what kind of terrifying beast he is now.

the best tard story I have seen was Jeffries but this is a good one post more

IF this could be dubbed by Brenadaniel, that would be amazing

The Tards Of War Part 7 (sorry): Rematch cont.

>BETA DRINKS IT
> i don't know which is more alpha
>Beta leaps up from his pin and orders the Speedster to tackle him
>he does it
>this is a challenging
>CHALLENGING FOR ALPHA TARD
> everyone stops to stare at the incoming tard fight
>half chant "beta"
>half chant "alpha"
>yesyesyesyesyes.org
>Beta leaps at AT's bare, shit covered legs
>AT unaffected
>He lumbers down and swipes the side of Beta
>catches him and he slides on the floor, making a shit skidmark
>he leaps up and runs to AT and leaps onto him
>I see people betting on who's gonna win
>Beta latches onto AT and goes in for the kill
>he vomits the shit, his lunch, and all of his contents of his intestines onto AT
>AT can't handle the smell of vomit
>AT fall for the final time

>silence

>CHEERS EVERYWHERE
> Beta is crowned the new Alpha Tard
>"THIS IS HISTORY"
>"ALL HAIL THE NEW ALPHA"
>after all of the time he has been a beta to AT, and now it is over

The Tards Of War Part 8 (real): New Reign

>Beta has been a good ruler over the tards
>he gets a qt3.14 tard of his own and makes her "Omega"
>no tard wrangler has ever kept the tards calm longer than those two
>a new era of peace has been ushered in the school.
>all hail the new alpha

>END

Please ask if you want more tard tales, but this one comes to a close