Be American

>be American
>get shot

*plugs the wound with a big mac*

pssshhh.... your gonna have to try harder than that.... kid........

>be American
>work in office
>gets hit by a plane

le classique

>be American
>get shot
>but not at hospital with vaccines

>be American
>eat excessive amounts of food

>be American
>walk in alley
>raped by a pavement ape

>Got shot by 9mm caliber of freedom

>be American
>he's actually Mexican

>be American
>don't get shot because your uncle on Facebook said it gives you autism

>mfw they are all autists in denial

>be American
>forced to smuggle delicious Kinder eggs for Easter
>it doesn't exist
>get caught
>beaten to a pulp by the police
>shart in star-spangled undies
>tip police
>sing national anthem while being dragged to the patrol truck
>crowd starts clappig
OH SHART CAN YOU SEEEEE

>be american
>S H A R T

>be American
>Plops in shop

>be american
>get shot
>go to the hospital
>get charged with a 20k ambulance fee

>be american baby
>tip the doctor

>be American
>defecate in the marketplace

>be American

>Be American
>Diahrrea on galleria

Then he takes ur tip (foreskin)

>americans have to tip the traffic lights to make them turn green

>ameriCAN'T hold his diarhhea

>be American
>PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

>be american
>get BLACKED

>Be norweigen
>Have the high score on mass shootings

das rite, always good to see the white devil get beat

>be American
>Chimpout in Ferguson

>be american
>get sho-
AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! AAAHHHHHHH!!! NO PLEASE MOHAMMED!!!! PLEEEEAAAAASE!!! AAHAHHHHH!!!!!!!! DON'T RAPE ME!!! DON'T RAPE MEEEEEEEE!!!!! NO!!! NOOOOOO!!!!! NOT MY DAUGHTER!!! UHUHUHHUHUH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

stop bullying

...

make me, borat

>be american
>get shart

THE BULLY TRAIN CAN'T BE STOPPED

>bee amerigun
>unzip benis

x dddd

>Europeans can't drive their shopping carts
>Europeans don't put polymers into their cheeses
>Europeans can't shoot their classmates
>Europeans can't speak American correctly

>European can't speak American properly
>Implying American is a language

>Malaysia can't tell the difference between the moon and 49 stars

>American language
>It's just simplified English

Kek

>Ameridumbs can't even tell the country they were invading in 2003, Iraq

>American language
>It's just simplified English
>implying that it's still considered a separate and original language

>not killing your intellectuals

Saddam did WTC

>Saddam did WTC
Naw. Bush did it.

>be american
>get shot
>tip the gunman
>try to shoot gunman
>gun jams because you didnt tip it
>bleed out
>tip the government for bleeding on public property
>ambulance arrives
>tip paramedic
>receive $6 gorillion hospital bill from nurse
>tip her 20%
>get on wheelchair
>wheels lock until you tip it
>hospital doesn't receive enough funding to build a ramp
>fall down the stairs
>pedro helps you up
>tip him
>beg him not to call a doctor
>he doesn't speak english
>tip him for trying
>doctor helps you up and assigns you a hospital bed
>doesn't come with pillows because you only tipped 40%
>get shot
>rinse and repeat

>>be American
>*BRAAAP*

>be american
>tip fridge everyday to aquire shoes

>be american baby
>tip doctor to keep foreskin intact

>europeans can't speak american properly
neither do 35% of americans

>Be American Pilot
>Nearest Runways are all full
>Running out of fuel
>Make emergency landing on an office tower

>be american
>microwave your shoes

>a five year old american child can walk into any walmart an purchase a fully automatic AR15 assault rifle with a 100 round drum clip, barrel shroud and bayonet lug without a background check or parental consent
>can't own a chocolate kinder egg

"The only thing we shoot is acid"

>fully automatic AR15 assault rifle with a 100 round drum clip
What did he mean by this?

>be
you sound like apes

>americans
Amirite??!!!

>be american
>be the greatest country in the world
>that crippling feel when you will never be an american

Best ally