Hey Sup Forums, I've been cheated on in four of my five relationships. Now I'm in a new relationship and I can't fucking get over my anxiety of being cheated on again, it fuckin terrifies me to have that happen again and I end up just getting jealous as fuck, guys. Anyone have any helpful tips or advice of how to overcome that feeling when you're in a new relationship? I'm trying to keep my head up but shit man, it's fucking hard when even the girl you dated for three years cheated on you, now I'm supposed to just trust this new girl I've been with for three months.
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Alexander Thomas
if it really bothers you try opening up to her about it she might see it as a sign of trust and therefore feel more open with you
Angel Turner
Well, I think what you really need to deal with is your anxiety around trust. It not your new gf fault you got cheated on so you can't take it out on her, and your lack of trust towards her will damage your new relationship. So, this is your anxiety and you need to work on that, I don't know what else to say beyond that, good luck
Isaiah Thomas
ask yourself what hurt so badly and why. was it knowing your partner had (supposedly) some intimacy with someone else, although it should have been with you alone? were you hurt because before the "incidents" you somehow believed that your partner would be your "property"? was it fear of not giving her enough (in bed or emotionally)? try to figure these things out and see where you can get from there.
also man the fuck up, faggot. comes here to complain how many fuckin relationships he's had. stop bitchin around and start feeling good about your fuckin normie life, fag
Ethan Sanders
Try talking to her man. If she gives a shit she'll understand and be more open. I had the same problem with my ex and when I talked to her about it she would let me look through her phone and stuff like that if I was ever feeling paranoid.
William Gray
be a man and you wont get cheated on
Jeremiah Sanchez
yes! great! feed your paranoia with some control-issues! that's the spirit!! and whenever you feel insecure you can just browse her phone and drown your insecurity in "maybe she's just deleted all the traces"
no, seriously, get over yourself. the way out of insecurity is to feel good for yourself. this has nothing to do with your partner, and as long as you're unable to just relax and be yourself you will not comfortably fit in a relationship
Gabriel Lee
I know you're right, but shit, man, its fuckin hard to be fucked with in almost all of your relationships and then you just have to trust your new girlfriend when she's out drinking with a bunch of other guys. It's fuckin difficult.
Julian Stewart
To explain why she's with men, we're a military couple, she got deployed but she's been drinking and hanging out with a bunch of guys and another girl, she said one of the guys was giving off a rapey vibe and she's out right now drinking and shit but we haven't been dating that long and I'm supposed to just trust her on this, I guess. She also said she wouldn't over do it tonight but the guys she with pretty much pressure her into drinking and she said a while ago that she feels like she's gonna black out and I can't be there, it's just hard, man.
Landon Collins
Well, I can understand why you would be concerned about this, she is out drinking with guys, one is giving her bad vibes and they pressure into drinking, I think if this is your girlfriend you have a right to speak up, express your concern and tell her you don't feel comfortable she is putting herself in a risky situatio. Can she at least have a safety plan with you, like call you so you can make sure she is ok, girls do this all the time with each other. I can understand why this could make you feel jealous, I think this is normal, jealousy is not always misplaced, but it's an ugly emotion so be careful how you express it
Kayden Lee
Yeah, I get what you're saying. She hasn't talked to me since some text she sent with every word misspelled. Guess I'll go fuck myself, she said she wouldn't over do it lol
Oliver Murphy
Military couple eh? Yeah that shit's just about impossible mate. You feelings right now are pretty justified.
Christopher Anderson
Talk with a councillor or therapist and try to find some good advice on how to trust and not have this fear affecting you. That you've continued to have relationships is a good sign. With the fear gone you can enjoy the relationship more fully and it might make a stronger bond.
Also it could be that you keep choosing the wrong kind of female. Anything they all had in common?
Ian Rodriguez
No girl that is out of your sight for more than a week is going to be faithful. Military women are known to be sluts. Your relationship has no chance.
Blake Martinez
Well, right there she breached your trust so she might do it again, I know I don't your full story but maybe you are feeling the way you are for a reason, there are definitely some red flags, maybe you should not trust her doesn't sound like she has earned it.
Nicholas Cooper
This could work. Just talk to her about it. Don't make it sound like you think she'll cheat.
Jayden Howard
kek
Jason Lee
Well, I am a little suspicious around her saying they pressured her to drink but then goes drinking with them, where is her responsibility in this. She can make decisions as well, such as don't go drinking with people who pressure you to drink
Anthony Wood
cee yew cee kay
Levi Fisher
Unfortunately often true.
The problem isn't the women exactly, it is the men that surround them and swoop in at the first chance. The constant barrage of penis offers, comfort offers, fake-friends offers, drink offers, etc etc. Women are mentally weak creatures, like children, and don't know what is good for them.
The best kind of woman you can have is one that doesn't put herself into situations where she is likely to betray you. For example, not drinking with other men when you aren't there. Not having any men in the house. Not going to other men's houses. Not spending time alone with other men. Not accepting gifts off other men. Sounds old fashioned, but think about it from the your perspective. Would she be happy if you were going out with a bunch of drunk females. Or visiting your female friend at her house. Or alone with a female friend in your house.
Think about when you've been tempted or something happened with a female. You always have a decision beforehand.
Easton Lopez
Practically all women cheat. It's something that builds up in their mind for weeks/months. It rarely 'just happens', unless alcohol is involved. That's why it's easier for men to say no, because they are generally spontaneous offers/moments. Fact is, don't make it sound like you think she will cheat - but be fully aware that she, like any other woman, will certainly cheat if you aren't constantly working at a relationship. They are high maintenance, all of em.
William Harris
well said.
Mason Lewis
Provide more advice, information and examples.
The building up thing is interesting. Why are men seen as the wild dogs that fuck at every opportunity, yet as you say it is easier for men to say no.
Logan Carter
This is pretty accurate. Could you imagine if women weren't simple minded animals? In the west at least life would be pretty great
Gabriel Barnes
From my experience women start to think about leaving the relationship and start to disengage, meanwhile they are looking for the next man, when they find someone they break up with you and move on to him
Christian Scott
were they redheads?
Ryan Davis
Well its like what said.
Men already know before hand if they're capable of cheating in their heart, it's pre determined I think. All women say they would never cheat, for the most part. I believe that they believe it themselves too.
The build up part just comes from what he said, putting themselves in situations with other men that are single and horny. The single men don't give a fuck that she's in a relationship. They will cast a wide net, speak and flirt with many girls, obsess with one, doesn't matter. The minute your relationship has any tears or doubts, they are ready with their hard cocks to give her that something new, fresh and exciting.
I'm no genius, no master of relationships, but I've had a fair few serious ones and half a dozen not so serious.
The girl I am with now I've been with for nearly 3 years, she moved country to live with me. Gave up everything for the most part. All the beta fags and children will say 'Well, that's proof she loves you!! She'd never hurt you!'' Everything to a woman is relative, they won't remember the years of work or all the moments you shared, or your feelings, if you are both having a bad week and the opportunity has been building and is available, if they feel safe with it and a better option, why not.
Luis Powell
This, if it gets to the point you're going through their phone, it's time to take a step back, probably best to terminate the relationship until you're not absolute poison.
Logan Martinez
Never love a girl more than they love you. Only way to protect yourself.
Luke Lewis
Also true in some of my experience too. Spotting that you're officially on 'hold' until they've found a new person is important as fuck, so you can get out with feelings intact.
Women seem to break up with a man in their own head months and months before they sometimes show any sign to the man though. Key is to as pathetic as it sounds - 'just man up' and enjoy the now, if it ends then it ends, but be ready for it round the corner!
Sebastian Robinson
Sauce me my Sup Forumsretheren
Liam Phillips
Nay sauce most unfortunate. Just something I saved for obvious reasons.
Jason Clark
so nobodies going to check that quad?
Dylan Kelly
Somebody will.
Nicholas Allen
I was both of those posts, but I still don't understand it fully.
I moved continent to stay with a girl. Did other things besides. She ended up disappearing, think she betrayed me while she was on holiday, I lost all trust in her, despite her denying it completely - stopped speaking to her after a while. 1.5 years no speaking and I still think about her every day. I never would have betrayed her. I don't know why she did it. She kept trying to contact me, last time was 2 months ago.
I think a major problem is that girls for decades have been brainwashed by feminism in society to think "I can do what I want, i can be in any situation, it's my choice!". Whereas in the past, women were taught to stay out of risky situations, which included spending time with men who were not their boyfriend or husband. Now that is seen as outdated. But the thing is, the sitatuon creates risk, the men move in and by sheer volume of offers, they eventually crack. You are right about women not valuing or caring about the years of dedication. It really means nothing. They are emotional creatures and every thought they have is based on a fleeting mood. If she's angry, she's more likely to fuck a stranger. If a man is angry, he goes for a walk.
It is said that men tend to stray when they are not emotionally supported. Women do it just because they have it thrown at them every day and sooner or later they think "why not".
Matthew Carter
Yup. It's a strange one. I'm far, far too tired to make much sense, so I apologise. But the only advice I know for sure is to never love somebody more than you love yourself. Your world should never be another person, especially a woman.
I think it takes a lot of heart break and young relationships to truly get to the point where that's a reality. But if you get burned enough times, that mindset kind of comes in to the relationship from day 1 anyway.
We've all been fools for love, it's a part of growing up.
Leo Carter
The on hold thing is important. Why isn't there a survival book given to men at the age of 12. Also, how to avoid females with personality disorders.
Sometimes when you are on hold, I think the woman is waiting for you to do something or to change something - but never tells you what. If you don't change within a certain time period and she finds another guy, you are worthless to her. I really don't understand why women fuck around before telling you. Even a few days before would make a difference. They know they are going to fuck someone, but they don't tell, and then they lie about it.
Mason Thompson
Fuck you pussy bou just shoot your club up inside her
David Collins
I don't care anymore, or barely at all. Relationships have become just events that occur with different actors.
The first girl I truly loved, probably more than myself as you say, I was with her for three years. Still think about her every day, I think I'm broken in terms of love. I just can't understand it, it's like a death. There was no official breakup, she went off on a trip, I think she fucked around, she never admitted it, and just kept on 'traveling'. Someone on here months ago said I need closure to be over it. I just can't face her, and can't speak to her - too much negative shit would come out from me and she would just deny it anyway. Not solving anything.
Such high betrayal is unfathomable for me. Disloyalty from friends is practically unforgivable for me, even if it is indirect, so from her it was too much of a wound to heal from.
Now I just feel like unfeeling scum. No girl afterwards has touched me, emotionally. I feel fake, I can see their emotion for me but I feel nothing. I feel affection but little more.
Tyler Phillips
Similar boat. I have major abandonment issues that still rear their head from time to time because of all the times I've been cheated on. But I've learned how to repress them and stay silent, thereby letting logic dictate my actions.
Monogamy is not the only way to live/love, so if you want it for yourself then you have to look at it objectively. What makes monogamy work? What do all the successful monogamous relationships have in common?
In my experience, you have to actually be worthy of being your partner's everything for her to even let you attempt to be. What I mean: you have to be interesting, funny, engaging, romantic. You can't ever stop courting her, you can't ever stop giving her orgasms (that one is probably most important), you can't ever stop being at least as good as all the other options around her. Never get complacent, always seek to improve yourself and up your game. This is a good way to live in general, so it's not like it's overkill.
My last few relationships? They fell apart mutually and for legitimate reasons. No cheating (that I know of, ofc). Ever since I started putting these simple ideas into practice, it just clicked, and I no longer come off as needy, but worth spending time with. I no longer come off as jealous or whiny, but confident yet caring.
I don't know how much of it has just changed my mind set about myself in a way that makes me appear more desirable and how much of it is that I'm actually more desirable now, but feeling like I earn affection, rather than "deserve" it, has been the difference for me, and has meant my mental well-being. I feel more secure in my relationships, and ironically I think that actually makes me more secure.
Christopher Thompson
Sounds like your a cuck who will always get cheated on. GG in the dating game, faggot. Why don't you do some cheating yourself eh.
Christian Baker
THIS Quit being a whiny cuck boy.
Parker Torres
Also this 100x
William Lopez
Get cucked. You're clearly barking up all the wrong alleys friendo.
Isaiah Miller
Keked.
Elijah Sullivan
>You see, women just have no self control Yes they do stop lying to yourself women intentionally cheat much more than men because it's easier for them to justify and frankly Noone cares what they do unless it's her over protective old ass Dad.
Grayson Brooks
Here. Have one of THESE
Dominic Baker
Probably because your opinion is not the basis for fact or reality, friendo off3nd
Luke Cooper
>itt: a bunch of neckbeards and rednecks in military pretend to understand the human female.
Jaxon Peterson
Nobody is pretending. We're all talking from experience and how we interpret it. Nobody understands any person on the planet if you want to get autist about it.
Luis Price
Women are emotionally based children. If you don't know that, you have no basis for opinion.