I need an opinion bros,
Long story short, I've been seeing this girl for about 3 months now and she's labeled us as "casual dating". Then on our last meetup she had to stop and get a plan B, because she fucked someone the day before. Meanwhile any advances i'd made before hand were just shot down. I'm thinking about just ending this all today because it's making me feel massively depressed.
What's everyone else's thoughts?
3 months is a pretty long time to be "casually dating." If she really wants to be with you, confront her and say that you want something more serious.
Drop that bitch.
Sounds like she's taking you for a ride bro, ask yourself if she pays her way or not and if you're getting satisfaction out of the relationship.
this
Lemme guess - you pay for her more than she pays for herself.
>Then on our last meetup she had to stop and get a plan B, because she fucked someone the day before.
that's so hilariously tactless. what a disgusting whore.
i really hope you haven't been putting down more than half on whatever you two have been doing besides fucking.
i would end things, she sounds like she sucks
Kinda my thoughts as well, telling me she fucked someone the other day after our meetup didn't help either, forgot to mention that she told me she just met an old friend the other day, but the plan B was when I got the full story.
Planning on it today, just wish it wasn't killing me inside.
Funny thing is she hasn't emptied my wallet in any way other than the gas to meet her. I feel no satisfaction knowing she'll mess with someone else a day before seeing me, but then blow off anything i've been doing for months.
No, she funds herself.
I haven't even been able to fuck her. Anything I do gets rejected in someway and makes me feel like shit.
Unfortunately OP,it sounds like she does not want to fuck you,or be in any kind of relationship with you at all. I wouldnt even give her the common courtesy of remaining friends,just cut her off.
Dont text,call or see her ever again. While youre doing that,also find time to take up a new hobby that youre passionate about. Make it your end goal to become an overall amazing person,and keep on ignoring her.
It's not worth the headache that this girl will cause you,focus on you and you alone. Good luck mate :)
>I haven't even been able to fuck her. Anything I do gets rejected in someway and makes me feel like shit.
i sincerely hope this OP is bait then, if you really enjoy spending time with her, it's your money but there's never going to be a more substantial relationship than her using you.
I was debating that, I actually did try and text her last night to no avail, which is odd cause I usually get a response within an hour, already sus.
My roommate was suggesting telling her that i'm done, but I feel like i'm just going to start another war with someone if I do. I know we were planning on meeting again this Thursday, so I do need to say something since i'm having thoughts of ending this. I don't care so much about fucking her as I do that she's willing to meet with other guys and be intimate with them. It's all kinda cycling at a bad time since work is up my ass about another problem that I won't get into here.
Welcome to my literally thoughts all of yesterday, never had a worse day of work than then.
If you tell her youre done,who exactly would it cause a war with?
Her and me, because she's most likely going to want a reason, and i'm really not feeling well enough to want to go into all the problems.
>since work is up my ass about another problem that I won't get into here.
then you don't need her causing you problems right now. just drop her and leave it at that. not every relationship has to end with a blow out.
who cares what she wants. just tell her you're not interested in seeing her anymore. the relationship is a financial and emotional burden on you and you aren't getting enough out of it or whatever.
is this one of your first relationships?
You dont need to give her a reason at all mate.
Just tell her face to face when you see her that everything is over. If she starts bugging you for a reason,or if she keeps contacting you just say: "what we have is over,im done dealing with you....and now im focusing on me."
Simple as that. Be FIRM.
You.
Dont.
Owe.
Her.
A.
Reason.
Well just tell her you are not into """casual dating""", or tell her the real reason, that you think it is disgusting that she is so """casual""" with other dudes, while being in a relationship with you
Hey dude seriously I was like you at one point wondering why they were intimate with someone else and not me...
My advice to you is this:
1. The last thing you want to do is say that or bring that up to her. It will turn her off even more so and make you seem desperate
2. I doubt you want to be "just friends" with this girl so if thats not the case, do yourself a favor and stop pursuing her.
3. If she wants to hang out with you let her reach out. You can toss something out there, but dont be pushy or expect her to follow up.
4. Focus on yourself and doing your things, that not only will make you feel better but make you more attractive to those around you.
5. If she has any sense that you like her and she would go pick up Plan B with you around, shes just fucking rude. Thats not something you do and she was well aware of the message she was sending across.
6. And if all else, do things your way but dont get super involved or hung up. Keep making advances if thats what you were doing, and let her keep shrugging it off.
Don't think anything of it or let her know you feel some kind of way about it.
My thought process would be something like:
You don't want to be intimate in any way? Okay well I'm just gonna chill or get back to doing what it is I got to do. Next time she wants to hang out and pull the same bullshit, I'm going to be doing stuff I like to instead.
My girl was the same at one point till she realized I was being alpha (I changed my attitude)
I guess, it's just always been a blowout because i've called out shit that I can't tolerate.
This isn't my first, but all my other times feel just like this and it's really just made me think that there's no point in trying to find anyone anymore, it's always gonna end like this, just a matter of how long I fall for it.
It's a matter of trying to feel like a non asshole about it, but I guess given the circumstances, it's probably better to be an asshole.
Bonus tidbit: she's going to a concert on wendsday before we planned to meet Thursday, I think I can already gather what that entails.
Dont think of it as you being an asshole,view it as you standing up for yourself. No one should have to put up with that kind of behaviour from a partner....or even a friend.
I'll answer each point
1. I haven't i've actually been kinda ignoring the problem for a bit, but the recent drop is hurting me enough that I don't want to do this anymore, with anyone.
2. I made that clear not too long ago, I shoulda probably taken the hint then when she said she wasn't ready to jump into anything yet.
3. She usually does reach out, it just ends up going no where at the end, and she enjoyed my "company" as she tells me.
4. That's the plan from here on out, but I don't want anymore attraction from others, because that's part of my work problems at the moment.
5. She even said she felt like an asshole because she's not meeting up with just me when I said I only focus on one person when i'm trying to get to known someone relationship wise, didn't seem to stop her though.
6. This is probably the third meetup and third time it was shrugged off, I don't really see a point in wasting the time anymore.
I don't really care about giving her some kind of attitude, if she's going to just rope me around until I strangle myself, best to just not get involved with the noose anymore.
I'm trying to, but it's hard for me to think that way, every time this has ended, it's been bad in my face and I suffer some kind of punishment for it.
Gotcha.
Heres to hoping you both go your separate ways peacefully,with as little drama as possible.
That's the goal, but I have a feeling it's gonna play out bad, I don't even want to end this over a call, I just want to leave it with a message because I really have so little want to even speak to her at this point, All of this is making me debate skipping work again today because I still feel like utter shit.
Buddy, in my experience if a relationship isn't working, cut it and never interact again. I trapped myself into a year of toxicity out of the 4 I had dating this one girl. You don't need her. She's clearly not ready or looking for ANY POSSIBLE THING you want with a relationship. Dump em and never look vack. It's better for you both, she'll be gone by the end of the week. And no, you owe her no reason and you have no reason to feel bad, you gotta protect you.
Thanks to you and everyone else in this thread, I was having alot of self doubt about everything, but i'm glad that I can always ask my fellow board members for some advice and get some real answers from everyone. I appreciate it, I will refrain from posting pics and contact info.
Look man I just thought about this as well. She may be just looking for your company and companionship that she doesnt get from the guys she fucks with.
If that's the case, dont give her the satisfaction of knowing she can go get fucked raw by joe, but then come to you give her attention and affection
And honestly, if you're not cool with her seeing other people concurrently, then you shouldn't be with her, shes not worth your time.
Find someone that has similar values to you, I know thats something thats important to me
This may be painful for you to accept at this moment, but if I understand your story correctly that she's fucked another guy but hasn't fucked you then you will probably never fuck her and she has merely friended you to pass the time until she meets someone else. She probably likes you and enjoys your company. But you have to be honest with yourself that she probably doesn't want more from you, especially if I'm correct about the sex situation. So you have a choice: be a good puppy who jumps whenever she calls, or stand up for yourself and tell yourself that you deserve better and that going down this path just isn't worth it. The sting of walking away will pass. But generally speaking, no matter how much you may not accept this today, things probably won't advance. It's possible, but I don't want to give you false hope. Ask yourself this question - if she truly had an interest in you romantically would she wait so long to let you know and then fuck other men? Judge her by her actions, not her words. And her actions seem to suggest she's happy with a friendship. You can label it dating. But it's friendship and you merely fill an emotional void until she finds her man. Again, either let her walk all over you, or stand up for yourself. There's no need to be rude. If pressed, just tell her you two want different things. The ball is then in her court. But you must take care of yourself, and it's ok to walk away.