/brit/

Mentally-ill artificially-intelligent robowhore edition

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youtube.com/watch?v=B1Nx3SU2izA
i.4cdn.org/s/1493147349051.jpg
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got lots of /brit/ lifehacks

in several different categories:
being a cheapskate
being woke
academic success
how to make people like you
organising your shit together
monetary success
making gains in the gym

ask me and ill share what i've learnt

...

...

think you're telling porkies mate

Why do I always feel more miserable when I'm well-rested?

pick one of the following:

eating oven food dinner watching ITV or football

eating fancy food your mum made with artisanal italian and locally grown ingredients made with a gimmick appliance, listening to your sister tell you about how there are 15 genders or so she was taught at university.

Being woke

not sure
you take SSRIs?

how to make people like you

No

>leltic

reminder that scientifically, morally and ethically there is nothing wrong with abortion

>15
what do you think this is, the 50s?
an individual can personify any existing or "non-existing" gender they wish to, grandad

business idea: heem without mercy

>lolita
>MUH NHS

making gains in the gymnasium

t. can't argue

wanking to the mental image of that thick blonde milf from work releasing putrid gaseous farts in my face

Quite looking forward to Wikitribune

Wots that then boyo

all farts are gaseous you numpty

not quite all!

do I spy the an-com flag behind her?

thought she was a tankie

i feel bad for wagecucks

oh wait

no i dont

Google it you runtlet

>brush your teeth with non-fluoride non-sls toothpaste and scrape your tongue
>use non sls/parabens/fragrans/parfum etc soap, detergent, shampoo and so on, don't use petroleum based skin products
>use cronometer to monitor your intake of vegetables and minerals
>take hallucinogenic drugs (dmt and mescaline preferably, you can grow these)

>meditate twice a day
>try to constantly focus on breathing
>subscribe to a solid metaphysical framework (esoteric ones are better (start reading))

>recognise the machinations behind things like media and politics, and try to be see past surface levels things
>don't dismiss the unbelievable and don't deny connections
>don't dismiss the possibility of use of magick or esotericism gnosis, especially for benign purposes
>collect resources on conspiracies which are known to have happened and study them profusely
>NEVER, EVER, GET NEAR TO ANYONE WITH POWER

>keep as much information from the government or major corporations or banks as possible
>use a vpn
>browse the internet via i2p (or at least use ixquick, anti-tracking/other stuff plugins)
>major transactions bitcoin darkwallet or cash
>use the terminal and only use 'free' non-proprietary software.

>ask them questions about what they're talking about and let them do most of the talking
>listen to them and bring up stuff they said another time
>always call them by their name
>go out of your way to help them
>tell personalised jokes to them (preferably based on past interractions or recurring themes)

*marches on your bollocks*

need something to wank to. not sure what.

No

all of them

*strings you up by your bollocks*

prefer a good lasagna over a good pizza tbqh

Sounds like a lot of hassle, can't I just take drugs?

runtoidlet

>good lasagne

No such thing

kys manchildren

>second list
quite wise, not what i had expected from /brit/

>follow starting strength and try first and foremost to attain good form
yes its a meme but do it, until you can no longer add on 2.5kg each time
>eat about a gram of protein per lb of bodyweight over several meals
this isn't actually scientifically optimal but if you aim for around it, you'll be good
>only aim for 400kcal surplus and try to restrict your diet to vegetables, fruits, meat, fish, dairy, eggs and rice/oats.
>drink water only (milk as well)
>don't skip gym
>use an excel sheet to monitor progress in the gym
for me i find filling in a little box on a complex looking sheet satisfiyng
>use cronometer for accurate nutrition monitoring
>stretches and stuff are really good, cardio is healthy but you must eat more if you want to engage in it
>don't really need supplements if you eat well enough imo (though a cheeky caffeine pill before gym can help)
>have realistic expectations
>cut carefully (small and controlled calorie deficits with consistency)
some people have touted the benefit of eating at maintenance but the jury is still out on that.

after starting strength it depends on your aims
>sheiko if you're serious about powerlfting
>1/2/3/4 if you want to do sort of powerlifting but also add in some accessories
>PPL ^ similar as above but with more accessories
>bro-lifting routines - don't know much about these but good for the ol' physique

this

what are some lewd things you've done to wank lads?

...

feel like the 'pression is setting in again
really not keen on that haha

I have it on good authority that sharts are not farts.

just went on the national lottery website and immediately felt like a runt so I closed it

Other thread has more posts,come back to this one afterwards

first post in 20 minutes for plymouth

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He nipples look too far down on her chest. Bit concerned

fuckin love the janny desu

how to get gf pls respond

Why don't you marry him then?

In 'ere lads

...

watching some JAV

did a cum

theyre gonna need more than chopsticks for them

bet you'd prefer a cock there instead, bender

awooga

would anyone else like to mention how they don't like rick and morty?

1 be alright looking
2 install tinder
3 ???
4 shag gf

tried and tested and verified working (by myself)

>announcing a 'port
'ported

LYNN

...

who are they?

t b h the only reason I watch that show is for pic related

People think that I am some what mental...
They don't know I am very sentimental..
A friend of mine said I am a Waste Fellow..
He don't know the taste of this fellow...
Ooooooo..ooo..oo..oo..
My teacher scolds me that I neglect Education...
She don't know I collect Real education....
My neighbour thinks that I am wasting my time...
He don't know that he is wasting his time...
My mother sees me and she always bother...
My father trusts me and treats like his father.....

You're a fucking retard redditor if you like that shit
>GET SCHWIFTY
>BUUUUUUURP
>Hey Morty god is not real!!
HAHAHHAHAHGHHAGA LMAO

lads the silicon valley "crash" is happening now

won't be anything dramatic but still things will change a bit

the gf

NHS/Healthy Minds is a joke

I called to check if I was still on their waiting list and they said their computer systems were being updated and I'd be called back next week

I always search Good in Bad...
I also search Bad in Good.....
So..ooooooooo......
I am a Very Good Bad Boy....
I am a Very Good Bad Boy....
I am a Very Good... Bad... Boyy....
I am a Day Dreamer...
I am a Night Worker...
I am a Risk Taker...
I am a Self Blamer...
I am a Brain Eater...
I am a Heart Stealer...
I am a Mind Reader...
I am a Truth Finder...
I am a Smart Cheater...
I am a Pain Killer...
I am a Good Teacher...
I am a Perfect Learner...
I am a Back Bencher...
I am a New Sencer...
I am a Kids Lover...
I am a Soul Builder...
I am very Anger...
I know it's very Danger...
I am My Life driver...
I am a routine changer...
I am a Rules Breaker...
I start a New Chapter...

Can't wait to go home after work finishes at 6 and watch some Rick and Morty lads

Latest episode of Rick and Morty
>Hey Rick
>What Morty
>Ninja cake amazeballs awesome sauce
>hahhahahahhahahagahhahahhahahahhahahhaahhaahahaaahhaahha
>BUUUUUUURP
>LETS GET
>SCHWIFTY
>SHIT ON THE FLOOR

youtube.com/watch?v=B1Nx3SU2izA

the russkies have some good tunes 2bh

how is /tightsgf2017/ progressing?

Fuck off Reddit.

rick and morty is great. you just have to turn your brain off and go with it.

Fuck off redditor you little mong

Is there a new season?

Some episodes are much better than others

substantiate your claim

Reddit

omg a reddior1!!!!1

go start a thread and make 40 posts about how you don't care for reddit you shithouse rat

>turn your brain off
you don't get it.

i.4cdn.org/s/1493147349051.jpg
the gf

Need a gf with nice supple boobs

>nobody challenged him to do the ice bucket challenge back in 2014

howling

Reddit

Need a f

Redditor

hey c:

he didn't do a neknominate
nek yourself

you've only gone and ruined my no-wanking plans

wish I was mentally ill

*pays respects*

I do use reddit sometimes, but i've been on Sup Forums since before I knew what reddit was

sup reddit

i did though

shotgunned 3 beers then downed a smirnoff ice while having ping pong balls whipped at my stomach, which had a target drawn on it

there was meant to be a meme arrow there, ruined the whole post iih

Hi cheshire

>vote for me to get rid of democracy, it is shite anyway desu