Need some advice on what to do about my friend. He's become a recluse...

Need some advice on what to do about my friend. He's become a recluse, ballooned up to 20 stone (looks like pic related) and has talked about life not being worth living. I've tried countless times to talk to him about how he's feeling but he is just a closed book even to his family. I know for a fact he has social anxiety and will flat out refuse to hang out unless its a one on one situation. I think hid weight is a huge factor in his current state of mind and I wanna help him shift some weight but have no idea how to approach it.

Tl;dr

Friends turned into an obese hermit and needs help.

Let him slowly kill himself in peace

you can use an hurt-therapy, goin to his house and beating him hard, he will react, his brain will start to think differently, activating self defense mechanisms, his adrenaline going up and also his serotonine... think at it as an "hard reset"

Tell your friend that you're gay and make physical advances on him, either he's also gay too and it will make him happy or he's straight but you still made him feel like he's attractive.

pretty much just rape your friend until they're happy

...

>20 stone
He's probably just afraid to leave the house because of the muslim hoard prowling your streets.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, user.

Who said he doesnt want help, he jsut thinks its not worth the bother anyways.
Your friends depressed, he needs an out. How about you do some one on one training, hit the gymn together or something. But he sounds really depressed, might just talk to his parents about sending him to a doctor.

But hes got something right, life aint worth living for most people, they just dont realise it.

I agree but he used to be such a normal guy. I often wonder if he went through something traumatic and that's why he all of a sudden pulled a 180. But the weight is whats really concerning me. I used to be 17 stone and dropped down to 13 so I know I can help him... Just not sure if he wants any help

>Who said he doesnt want help, he just thinks its not worth the bother anyways.
Not willing to put in effort and actively turning away help is on some level is not wanting help.
People who sincerely wants help and are willing to put in the effort don't usually turn away help without a damn good reason.

Was he he type of guy to tell jokes often and help other people whenever he could?

>20 stone
Move along nothing to see here, just a braindad britard.

He has also told me he has tried opening up to someone he met once and mid way through talking about his feelings he had a panic attack. Hes pissing away the best years of his life and its depressing to see. He has a whole group of people willing to hang out with him but he flat out refuses

Not really, he always was one of the quieter guys in the group but he would always come out and hang or whatever... Another huge problem that we all started noticing was that he would literally wear the same clothes every single day of the week without fail. In the nicest way possible, he stinks so bad.

>he would literally wear the same clothes every single day of the week without fail.
Yeah, he doesn't care about himself. Likely major depressive disorder.
His room pile up with garbage?

So yeah thats my schtick. What can I do?

Tell him to put his entire life focus on making money.

If he doesn't know how. He'll need to learn by himself.

Also, leave the guy alone. He's a fragile asshole.

kill him before he kills himself

You can't be crazy if you're making money!

how old is he? maybe just needs to get his dick wet? idk

He's 21 years old, kissless virgin. You could be onto something user... But at this stage its gonna have to be a hooker.

you can try to force him to eat healthy and do sport, just go to the gym with him 3 times a week

So given you not answering my question, I take it it's spot on or you have no clue?

try it out then. get him a hooker. if it doesn't work at least he got laid

Its worse than that, not only does it get filled with garbage he only sleeps on a mattress on the floor so hes literally living like a crack addict in his parents home. Its seriously concerning

Yeah. He legitimately doesn't fucking care about himself. There isn't really anything you can do other than try to get him to see a shrink or help him yourself/selves.
If he doesn't see himself as valuable, he just won't put in the effort, and that isn't something anyone can just drag him through. He needs to do work himself. Thats just how it works. Sorry, mate.

Source: I'm basically the same way.

Lemme guess: Unemployed?
Worst thing you can do for your health,being unemployed.

>Push him to try to an hero, get him taken to a medical home, try life with food at regular hours, clean room, other people in similar situations.

>Get him away from home, get his parents to throw him out, but set conditions for him to live with you (job, cleanliness).

>Check out some youtube lectures on behaviour changing and the time it takes.

>Take him to the shrink.

Sorry to hear you're going through something similar user. I know what you're saying is correct in that only he can help himself but (call me a fag for this if you want) its really hard to see a lifelong friend basically committing slow suicide... Just wanna help the poor cunt

Other people can help you raise a spark or fire in you, give you the will to live though.

How can I get him to consider the shrink idea if he wont even talk to his family user? I think his parents must be quite cunty for allowing this to happen

Nono, shrink is the last step. You might literary have to push him to try an hero first.

So he gets taken to a psychiatric ward.

Trust me, I know the feeling. I've been on both sides of the fence. Feeling helpless is really fucking shitty.
Realistically, you have one of two choices. Give him an ultimatum or promise you'll stick by him and try to help him with anything he needs, no matter what he does.

Other than that? Fuck all you can do.


Can, sure. Not a guarantee, and it's partially dependent on how far gone they are.
Personally, I've been to the point where I literally won't microwave anything to eat (other than popcorn, because I don't really consider that food, more a novelty) and my fucking mom had to make shit for me. I'm fucking 22 years old. I'm long fucking gone, man.

Yeah I dont think im gonna push my massively depressed friend to kill himself user, but I get your point.

So, what will happen if I just leave him completely on his own? Cause im thinking nothing I can do will help if hes not willing so fuck it, right?

He's right about life not being worth living

Leaving him alone will just make the end result (suicide) messier, and you feeling bad.

A fundamental flaw thats easy to overlook with depression is the dullness of feeling. If you can make him feel, you can more easily fix stuff.

For example, if he still likes exercising, get him to do some with you, especially some that keeps his confidence up, then wash up and do check some lectures on depression or behaviour changing.
Humans learn much much better from 30min to like 5 hours after intense exercise.

Ive tried to get him to come on long walks with me as thats what helped me get down to a normal weight but he is only interested in chilling indoors. This has been going on for a couple years now and im kinda getting to the stage of saying fuck it like the rest of his friends did

Get him interested in schlurping brodies

Shrooms
Dude. Trust me.

get his parents to throw him out.

I understand your feeling btw. have a friend and neighbour with trauma, depression, adhd and aspergers. fucking mess she is.

Ive considered this but I dont want to cause a bad reaction if he has a bad time.

I wish he was a she, then id of slunk in and got a blow by now.

You could also try getting some decent drugs, like ritalin (or extreme caffeine amounts), sertraline, venlafaxin, bupropion, and then doing ordinary out of the house stuff.

Start with a small dose. About a gram. Wait a week and talk about the trip. Plan for 3.5 grams the next week. Youtube TED talks on magic mushrooms. Insane healing properties and more then likely will heal ur friend.

Honestly, if you ARE planning on just saying fuck it, the straight up tell him to his face.
"Look, mate, I like you. We've been buds for years. Lately, you've been getting real fucking depressed, and I'm more than willing to help and have tried to, but you don't seem to want it. As much as I wish I could, I can't fucking drag you through this by myself. It's something you have to work for. If you want help, I'll be with you every step of the way, but if not, I can't watch you do this to yourself, man. It's not fair to me, and it CERTAINLY isn't fair to you."
Give him an ultimatum, if you're planning on leaving anyways. Best case scenario, that's the spark (or part of it) that he needs.
Worst case scenario, it isn't and you're ready to leave anyways.

I might just invite him round and drop some big truths on him. Maybe if he's cornered he'll open up... Tell him straight that he's missing out on life and needs to pull his shit together

I might honestly copy that word for word because its exactly what ive wanted to say to him for years... I think its time he heard that

I mean, it's worth a shot. I sure as shit don't have anybody I care about that much, but for both of your sakes, I hope you're his.
Good luck, mate.

Might work.
Look up empathy and sympathy before you do though.
You have to be very observant of what signals he's sending as you have your showdown.

Also, make sure it's your knowledge of HIM that says that if cornered he might open up, not your knowledge of YOU.
Personally, I just retreat if I'm cornered.

Well I never thought Sup Forums would ever help or take this seriously but ive learnt a lot, thanks for all the advice anons. Im just a pussy who doesnt wanna see his buddy die, hopefully he wont.

hey op, you are not a fag and its good you care so much for your friend.
+1 in my book.

Thanks dude, I hope if i was ever in a situation like he is id want someone to stick by me. Treat others how you want to be treated anons

Wow OP, I didnt read the whole thread yet but you sound like a good friend.

Just be honest with your buddy. Tell him look man I know your weight is bothering you, I want to see you work on yourself. Just be around and supportive. And you might have to tell the guy a hundred times. I had a good friend of mine help me with a really bad alcohol addiction. His advice fell on deaf ears a hundred times but I got better bec. he didnt give up.

My advice would be to work out with him. Set up a schedule for yourself and make him a part of it. And dare him to go 2 weeks. Just 2 weeks eating only fruits and vegetables. No snacks except for a handful of mixed nuts or something. No meat whatsoever. This is how I lost weight, after 2 weeks, which isnt daunting, I felt so much better I never went back to eating the way I did. And I still eat meat and snacks, but nowhere near the amount I used to.

You dont need him to admit anything. You can see what the problem is, so just tell him and get him involved in some light weight lifting every day and just 2 weeks on a vegetarian diet. And go from there.

Good for you for caring, its easier to just cut people out and let them roll around in their own problems. You make me want to be a better friend to the people in my life.

Great advice user, im not gonna give up on him... Just gotta keep hammering the message home and get involved. Always good to be supportive of your friends, you're gonna need them too one day I can guarantee that...