I have just returned home from Japan after i ended my study abroad trip after not being able to deal with it all...

I have just returned home from Japan after i ended my study abroad trip after not being able to deal with it all. I wanted this to fucking work and i ended up being there for 4 months and realized how my life was not going to be a fucking enjoyable thing just because i got weebsalvation and went to japan. My parents have fucking blasted me for wasting time and money there since they did foot most of it. I am near fucking ending it all. There really is no where a full weeb fucking retard i am can go and feel happy. It really is not as fun or anyfucking thing you may think it is as a fuck who has not actually had to be in japan and deal with the people. I really fucking just dont know. And i do not have a future either as i am unskilled and a failure as my parents pretty much predicted from the start. This is basically a warning to weebs out there, i fucking ruined the illusion by actually getting the courage to do this abroad shit and fully regret it all. Its not anime land its fucking depression and isolation. I may be the off case of mentally unstable and no social abilities but i think many agree it is a fucking horrible place to be for an american.

Stop complaining and just kill yourself OP

man it really seems like a harmless choice, i do not think i actually will regret it.

i kinda feel sorry for you but man you should have researched this more, I've seen loads of videos on youtube of people warning americans not to live in Japan on a whim

Well, it sounds like you learned SOMETHING.

i had seen those particular videos, i fucking put my fucking everything into making this work. The flaw though was i never dealt with my own social and mental issues. I went thinking shit studies will be difficult there, no it is finding reason to continue living, now that you realize its not all you thought and were told it would be. and holy shit i may have had a rare few bad encounters but shit japanese people really hate me.

ok so this is an opporunity to sort out your social and mental issues. I wouldn't throw in the towel already

i thought maybe i could get a foot in the door when i went as i was trying to find a permanent job as a webdev there. I realized how little desire they have for a fucking american gaijin pos that is lazy and not anywhere near the work ethic of japanese (asians in general i assume). At this point i really do not know what to do with my self. It really has been a fucking rollercoaster, I had planned to end myself if i couldnt get a job by a certain time in japan and now that it is here i really fucking wimped out. But i really do not want to keep existing.

i remember that icon from source hammer when making maps

what was it again? just a placeholder?

its when hammer didnt recognize the entity name or thought it was a depricated entity type etc.

ah thx and btw yeah man why didnt you google how shit japan is for americans before going there

best place to be happy as a weeb is among other weebs

i did dude i swear. i was fully prepared i thought. Then things went north. I even fucking almost had a japanese girlfriend there who had damn good english skills but i managed to fucking scare her off with my fucking pessimistic shit i guess.

>be me
>take karate in college
>start to learn various aspects of japanese culture
>nowhere near weeaboo status, but read about zen, history, etc
>fast forward many years
>get a job with a japanese company
>travel there many times
>begin to despise the people, the culture, the arrogance, the filth
>the smoking, the constant smoking
>fast forward a few years
>suddenly the sci-fi section of the bookstore is filled with japanese comics
>see young nerds walking around with japanese logo wear, etc
>see pictures on internet of fat fedora wearers - every one has a katana on the wall
>finally find something I despise more than japanese culture -
>the losers who ignorantly worship it

dude well shit you've almost achieved the impossible, i would never expect to get that far

what about china? a friend I knew moved over there and found a loli weeb gf and is generally happy as a commercial pilot, they even paid for his training

somtimes japan isn't the best at full-filling that japan fantasy

OP it's all what you make of it. It seems like this isn't a problem with Japan but it's a problem with YOU and your interaction skills.

I'm an Amerifag and just spent a year in Shanghai and then a year in Tokyo for work and it was the greatest two years of my life so far. And my job fucking sucked and had me meeting with fat pig executives who treated foreigners like shit. And my pay sucked.

But the after work part was insanely fun. Go out and explore a new culture. Don't be retarded and scare everyone off with your autism. If you're scared to approach girls or people in general, being a foreigner is a pretty fucking easy topic to start a conversation with someone. And hopefully if you've developed ANY kind of social skills throughout your life, you can then keep it going.

Don't blame the country. Blame yourself.

>but shit japanese people really hate me.

Yeah, Japanese people are very arrogant and protective of their culture
and nothing turns them against you faster
is to try to be like them and fail.

Hammer Editor... Nice

this implies i did something to infringe on their culture, i assume you mean acting like a weeb and not just being there in general. Believe me i hate those types, i lived off of anime and manga from childhood on and never told anyone about it as it is embarassing. and i have lived long enough to watch the aids culture of actually cringe weebs spring up and just fuck up everything.

Nice half life 2 obsolete entity sprite

to make this worse as it would happen to be, i had a local japanese friend here in america who i knew since primary school. He recently apparently killed himself; He was my emotional support and literally was from japan after like 4th grade. He was my in to japan interms of talking to me about the culture etc. In highschool i actually did the exchange student shit with his family and lived an academic year there. It was amazing yet i do it in college and it fucks everything up.

The first overseas long posting I had was to Taiwan, I was all charged to go, learned some simple phrases. Got there, and it was like WTF?? My boss, oh its a third world country. Oh hell naw, its like 7th world. Anyways a couple of years later, started to like it. A couple of years ago, posted to Japan, and like OP I was not "impressed". It was okay, but like if I won the lotto, this wouldn't be first on the list to travel to. Food? Good. Entertainment? Not so good, wasn't allowed in many venues because of being "American" Safe? Yes, but boring.

If I was OP, I think many have the "anime" dream of Japan only to go there and be sadly disappointed that its not comiccon everday. I think if you went to like Thailand or Vietnam where you could spend some time on the beach with warm water and bitches everywhere, it would be a lot more to your liking.

Hammer is 20th century garbage software for garbage people

10% of b-tards are source devs

sorry kiddo i wasnt born only 17 years ago so i grew up back when it was the new thing.

newfag detected

How the fuck would you regret killing yourself? Youd be dead you goon

tripped on ur trips

yeah idk im freshly home literally off plane only 7 hours ago so i still am off wall fucking senselesssssss

Anyway who still plays half-life/counterstrike? Csgo is on source an engine from 2004 which uses ancient Quake binary space partitioning technique, lighting is pre-compiled into the level and worse.

This explains why csgo is so shit. the game is based off the false promise of half life 3. Also hats

I spent 5 months in Shanghai and it was nice. Even though commie, its really cool as long as you don't break any rules, but nothing out of the norm. The people were really warm, I found an apartment outside of Shanghai near our construction site, and it allowed me to search out different entertainment and food, like the urgur night market vendors or muslim (I'm not muslim) noodle shops where they make homemade noodles in front of you. So yeah, Shanghai was real nice. But if you are paying the bill it would get expensive real fast.

csgo is gay

modding scene was the tits, nothing today compares

Go thailand OP and fuck some sexy ladyboys. That'll perk you up. Just remember to rubber up! Don't want to get aids now

What makes you think i was born in 2000? Is it the fact I said the software is 20th century garbage

Name one software version from before 2000 that still works on a modern desktop computer and is in widespread use you lifeless fucking goblin

I started hating Japan when we had a jap in college trig. He was smart, but he thought being smart and being from Japan made him a God. He would sit and more or less preen in class, if one could call it preening, pretending that everyone worshiped his prowess at cipherin'.

Every one just thought he was a gook that smelled funny. Seriously, the kid didn't bathe regularly or something.

But I hate Japan because of one Jap.

The sprite displayed when you create a point entity which does not exist in the game definition file or game itself

windows

Well i basically threw away my potential career and now im just aimless. Not sure what i am supposed to do. I cant go back and now i regret it. I really fucked up. Why the fuck am i living when i make such fucking autism choices. It really makes no sense. I already was told from a young age i would fuck up and i did. My sisters both became doctors and lived happily ever after and i at my age have only fucked myself more.

>software version from before 2000
Windows XP is the oldest I have seen people still using and that was in 2001. There is older such as winodws 95 which indubitably some people have
>widespread use
Not many use windows XP anymore let alone 95. People moved on to 7/8/10.

Try harder

it was a hard try, windows 98 still works on modern machines and is in widespread use in third world cuntries still.

Please elaborate.

so become a doctor and go to japan all the time

i dunno i used to want to be a commercial pilot, tried it and realized being a glorified bus driver isn't all it seemed to be. this was my childhood dream mind you.

i still really enjoy flying smaller general aviation planes, helicopters seem like a lot of fun too

tl;dr dream ruined so now i do IT work for cash to do things I find fun sometimes

Kill yourself niggerfaggot

to put it vaguely i guess my shit social skills made people really treat me badly. I really didnt say shit and was treated like shit etc. But i do admit if i was normal social wise it would likely have been 100% different.

who cares faggot if you didn't have a blast during your childhood playing hl1/2 mods with friends you have no soul

>fucking depression and isolation
>not anime land
You're not making any sense, here. That is the whole reason anime exists, because Japan is depression and isolation land.

...

I still have no friends
Ok maybe but do you have a source or did you just pull this out of your ass
Everyone is using windows 10 the upgrade is literally free
No one in their right mind is using 95 and Muh Third World doesnt cut it anymore

true, but since it is the source of it all you would think the culture would be brimming around it there, and it was but shit not as much as one thinks. And holy fuck drinking is totally as popular as it is depicted in anime. They were all shitfacing midday practically. I asked one person who was bascially a salarymen at one of the pubs and he told me in broken english that he was tired from work so a brew was a wakeup for him. It is a sad seen there, drinking because they have such fuck pay and its a depressing land for them too.

scene, pls.

i guess i am going to sleep, as of now i basically am neet level again. I will decide if i really want to die or figure something else out. fyi there is more to my wanting to die shit but its unrelated, although it does amplify the fuck out of this entire situation.

Join the military or something, get disciplined, get a job, pull yourself together and shut the fuck up

i would get thrown out for mental instability, trust me if i had a gun it would be problematic for all.

it is literally having a fight with yourself, i would understand if you said get yourself together and i was fat etc full on shut in but i really mainly have mental issues that literally combat me and i have no control over them. i can not control them as my brain does what it wants. Only when i am happy am i in control.

oyasumi everyone

You dont need a gun dope. There are so many military jobs you can have. Logistics is one. Aircraft serviceman too. And oh boy youd be busy in the navy as well

i still have the wish to be in japan, so where ever else i am i will be in full unhappy mode, even though the place i wished to be made me unhappy. Basically nowhere i can be happy, being alone especially makes this worse.

internalconflict.ohshit

Why dont you live on welfare for the rest of your life then? Dunno if you can claim welfare in fapan especially as an immigrant. Live in some shitty cheap area and enjoy NEET life

Get a tent and live in the forest, camp out, do some hard manual labour it is my hobby

Seriously find yourself a hobby think about what you did when you were a kid that you liked doing. Got any hobbies?

anime, literally i watched it after school everyday as an escape. It consumed my childhood and im happy with that. Along with computer shit in general, i did some programming. Played shit on steam blizzard shit etc. Mostly anime though. I needed the escape from reality because then i was also friendless and depressed, started really young with those issues.

man i been here 4 years now. whenever i make the effort to use their language they try to get all condescending, then i flip it on them; butcher their language but make sure they fully understand i am doing it on purpose, things like pronouncing everything with my normal accent rather than using actual jap pronunciation, or just talk english and watch them squirm. they hate me and i love it.

it's great, they all expect gaijin to be a bunch of fucking suckups, then i come along. they try asking me their basic questions for gaijin, one of the first questions is "where are you from?" love parroting that one back at them before i tell them to fuck off