Found a homeless tent on my property. (I have a large plot of land and haven't checked all the perimeters lately)
Fucker left during the day but has been getting pretty damn cozy right on the edge of my land. I heard him last night so he might come back to sleep in his makeshift dwelling.
Dubs decides what I do to scare the piss out of the trespasser. I'm a pretty big guy and already intimidating enough but this just really pissed me right off.
fake red and blue police lights and blast siren on speakers
Didn't you just make this thread? I tried to post and it said it didn't exist. Actually you used a different picture too and it was way more different with more stuff. You're so full of shit OP why aren't you dead already?
A laser pointer would work really well actually.
the sound of a gunshot in the air should really be sufficient
if you want long term psychological impact you might paint the inside of his tent with blood or something fuck if i know im not that creative. he's just some asshole who's lost his way in life, call the police and give him 3 hots and a cot and when he gets out he'll go on someone elses property
Scare him by being warm and compassionate and help him with his situation.
First, know your enemy. Dress up like a woman and wait in his tent to find out if he's gay.
>Then get back to us tomorrow
Trips here; leave him alone and let him continue to dwell on your land.
Yeah had to delete it and restart the thread. Sorry about that
Winraw!!
WINRAR OP you have to help him out
Bake him a cake
>shoot him in the legs
>rape his ass
That still doesn't address the fact that you are using a clearly different picture for his "setup" meaning you're nothing but a fucking liar.
Already did that all night last night when I suspected someone was there.
Not sure if it made him vacate or not but I am waiting patiently for his return.
Looks like you have yourself a hermit
My dubs claims for you to help the poor guy
if a cake appeared in his tent one day i think that would terrify the everloving shit out of him. who made this? where did it come from? how do they know im here? are they watching me right now? what's going to happen?
>buy pig blood
>buy large white canvas
>paint with blood on canvas: "This is my swamp, you hav 1 day to leave"
>If he does not leave then se the thing on fire
TBH though, maybe just talk with the guy and see how he ended up in such a decrepit state. For all you know he is a true bro. Know a stranger before you judge 'em.
Holy get, may [spoiler]God[/spoiler] be with you.
Aw fuck.
OP here and this is not at all how I was planning on handling this situation.
>both dubs are for op to help the hobo out
Get on it op
Double 5 dubs deems you are kind
Its not a picture of his setup it even has a fucking watermark on the pics you retarded shit for brains newfag.
I wouldn't take a pic of my property and post it on Sup Forums, I'm not as dumb as you user.
...
This isn't fun anymore guys. I don't want to help this jobless lazy squatter
You sound like a humongous retard I hope the moment the guy sees you he stabs and rapes you before taking over your house and you're forced to live in his shitty outdoors home
You should get a disposable camera and take pictures of the tent and him at night if at all possible. Develop the photos and leave them in his tent
you got one off from quads
Invite the guy in for some coffee.
>Gets called retarded
>Immediately calls other user retarded
Right, you totally aren't retarded at all.
:^)
Kek dumbass
leave him be.
Well you can't, but the thing is if you try to help him he'll scam money from you and then use the money for drugs.
So the more helpful you are, the more likely he is to OD and die, thus solving the problem forever.
warm is good light that fucker on fire mang.
Another one? With a different picture?
I'll admit... this is better pasta... but this is still stupid.
FUCKING DUBS SPEAKS FUCKING TRUTH
Well the homeless fuck shouldn't bring a knife to a gunfight in the first place so not sure that will be a good idea on his part.
You're stupid as shit ahahahahaaha must suck ass to be your fucking idiot self lmao don't even reply to me anymore i'm not gonna read it but please give me that (You) anyway you little cuck boy xD
It's not pasta man the first pic I used was stupid so I deleted the thread and made a new one.
Burn the tent. Homeless are used to moving. Hurry before it gets cold again. If you burn someone out in winter your a duechebag... burning them out in summer is just responsible property management.
Dude you sound like you're losing your fucking mind.
What the actual fuck is even wrong with you bud
smoke a joint with him and try and be buds.
Also, help him get a job
Who says it's your land anyway? You're just borrowing it. Maybe you're the bum.
Anybody else witnessing this schizo falling apart up in here?
Op is a faggot and should get raped
nice house op
No you buy land, not borrow it.
Thanks
You think you own the earth? The earth owns you. You're just temporary. You're just paying to use it. You'll never own it.
Show up naked and rape
You should probably talk to somebody about your rape fantasies.
Not him but you sound like the crazy one why are you so obsessed?
Nah dude aliens do own the earth already so I'm good
Not how land ownership works.
Yes you own the rights to the land you purchased, however: the government is the one who owns the right to revoke your right to that land. This is the case in Canada, This is the case in the USA. Get educated, normie.
Samefag af
I already do
Confirmed underage faggot.
Or nigger. Probably half-breed, niggers can't use computers or read.
Knock the tent down and leave a sign on it that says gtfo stuck to the tent with a shitty knife.
Pretty sure it's pasta.
Why not take an actual picture of his shelter?
OP is confirmed faggot.
Everyone bail!
Sage goes in all fields..
What the fuck I'm not giving him a weapon bro
>avoids the question
>makes baseless accusations
Autism
Because it's on my property and this is Sup Forums lol
Don't be a fucking nigger, OP. You said dubs decide, there it is. Feed the poor man, give him a few bucks, and politely ask him to leave.
Fair enough. Then kill him and burn the body. Post pics though.
And? A shack at the edge of a property looks like every other shack at the edge of a property.
Who cares? Timestamp with shack or you're just a colossal faggot like all the other OPs.
This
Moist the soil in galosile, like really lots of gasoline and at night through some distance, set it on fire with him inside
Proposition having sex with him
release the hounds
As long as he's paying, I guess he can kick that fucking freeloader off. Take your hippy earth-loving shit elsewhere - just about every living thing on this planet competes for territory, why should we be any different?
Attach some nylon cord to it, a long piece, preferably to the top, then lead the cord out to a nice bush where you can sit unseen for a few hours until he comes back. Once he's in, pull the cord with all your burly might, so his makeshift boudoir disappears from above his sleeping head.
If you have time you could dig a trench between your hiding spot and his tent, covering it over with camouflage. That way, if he follows the direction of the flying bivouac he will be led into your trap. What you do with him then is entirely up to you. Personally I would ensure the bottom of the trench is lined with broken glass, but you may not have time for this. If you have nettles nearby, they may substitute. You just need to buy enough time to douse him in gasoline and then throw him a cigarette and a lighter. Itinerants invariably have a diminished sense of smell, the product of so much time spent outside inhaling allergens. If all goes well, he will light the cigarette and incinerate himself. You get the joy of watching him burn without the moral baggage of having actually caused it.
Communist detected.
rape him in the night
light him on fire
Wear only cowboy boots a cowboy hat and try to make yourself look like a fat redneck with a beard. Then slowly walk up to them with some chewing tobacco in your mouth while holding a shotgun or rifle behind your back of some sort. As you are wearing sunglasses, take a spit out all of your tobacco and pull out a piece of fun to chew. Really accentuate the chewing motion. Pull out the weapon and quote some movie line like, "get off my lawn." Then use the gun as a makeshift dick extension and fire a round in the air screaming, "WHOO." I feel like that should be enough.
...
This is such a cringey suggestion holy fuck kys
Help him get an ID and a PO box so he can get a job then. Back when I was looking for work no one would take me without two forms of ID and proof of address. That was in Virginia though.
It's easy to tell hobos to get a job without understanding the demands of the employers.
OP you don't know why that dude is in that situation but you're not obligated to help him. Give him a few lunchables and a little spare cash.
Let him know you're sorry about situation but that you can't have random squatters on your property.
If you really wanna be a next level bro you can give him a bucket of water, a rag, and some soap to bathe with. Poor miserable Fucker probably smells like piss.
You can also get him a manual washer for his clothes. Its basically a plastic container with a handle.
Be kind but let him know that he has to leave. Let him know that you're armed and that you don't want any trouble but he can't stay on your land.
getaloadofthisguy.jpg
I like this reply, a lot.
There are three kinds of people in this
world apparently
>there are three kinds of people in this world
This isn't reddit kid try to not make stupid ass facebook-tier posts like this
Burn him out.
Do the good Christian thing and let him stay if he looks for work. Or mess up his hovel when he's gone
Do him a favor and call police. Prison might do him good and feed him well, albeit only for a night or two
Homeless people can be decent, but I'd rather not take the risk of being nice to some bum, because I sure as hell won't be rewarded for it, God hates lazy pieces of shit anyway.