Good day, my dearest friends
"Daily confessions with Izaya"is here!
let's have a chat!
Tell me your darkest secrets, Anons, what is it that you hide inside?
Tell me you deepest desires, Anons, what is it that you really want?
And I will give you a hug!
lets enjoy each other, shall we?
I once had a creamy log
I want another creamy log
you don't get a hug
more love, my dear anons! yesterday you were a really nice bunch!
will I get a hug if I down on your log?
pretty fucking lame self bump
forgot image.
anons are really no fun today...
this one time i posted a flag
still no.
that's unhygienic
I have a girlfriend, a few good friends and I started going to the gym yet I can't stop crying myself to sleep unless I hard drink myself to sleep :/
oh my, poor pepe friend.
apparently clinging on the outside factors is not enough for us.
what is it inside you -- what are the thoughts that keep you up at night, keeping you down?
although, those are good steps you've taken already
I honestly don't even know what's keeping me up. I just get into the mood and push away all my friends and my gf. I just think about the past and how much I want to change it but it will never happen.... Just things about life like what is the purpose to it all? Why bother even trying? Why do I keep doing the same shit every day and expect something to be different. I want to just go off and adventure as gay as it sounds for a few months then come back.
but friends help eachother, right?
yea, it takes a bit of introspection to actually see inside of yourself, to understand your thoughts. it's a lengthy process.
pushing away people that are willing and wanting to help you is never a good idea. let them stick around.
there's not much purpose to life beyond what you give it. it's your story. you can play it however you want. but it's worth to bother trying.
as for same shit everyday, seems like you are stuck in a rut. the same routine.
either change things up -- introduce new stuff, or actually go on a wild adventure of your lifetime!
it's a great idea, my friend
Alright lad.
I'm fucking bored of my friends, I'm becoming bitter and jaded towards them and I can't think of any other reason apart from jealousy. I know maybe 3 girls right now and only see 1 regularly, I'm still not over my ex even though it was nearly a year ago.
I'm not doing bad, I'm making more money than my friends, getting a degree and I'm in the best shape of my life with a great social life and friends but I'm still really, really unhappy and don't know what to do.
I'm doing better than I ever have in my life but I'm so unhappy. All I used to do was sit inside, play vidya and then go out with a few friends maybe once every 3 weeks to go play vidya at theirs or watch a movie.
My life is supposed to be so much more fulfilling but now all I ever think is that I'm never going to be good enough. I don't even want to paint anymore and that's been my 'thing' for as long as I can remember. Am I insecure or something? I really don't know, not expecting some magical solution either. I just wanted to vent a bit.
I meant to say I was happier before but clearly I'm an idiot.
I want Izaya tbh
My main smoking spot at work is next to gas cans. And I don't even care.
talking does help.
you don't seem to be insecure, but most prominent problem seems to be that you ahven't gone over your ex. I'm thinking she was the one who ended it
and how exactly do you want Izaya?
Yep. I only ever talk about it when I'm on the verge of blackout drunk though, when I'm drunk it really, really hits me for some reason.
well that's because alcohol is really potent depressant. you should avoid it though. I mean, you know it well enough too
I don't think you have a remote chance of setting a gas can off with your cigarette.
I have a remote chance. Just depends on what can and what's in it. I just think it's funny seeing people react to me not caring. I get some sick pleasure out of it. Thus is the life of a cryptkeeper I suppose. Morbid jokes and too much tobacco.
I'll give you that. that small chance. ofc getting hit by a car on the way to buy smokes is much higher than setting off a sealed canister of whatever gasses are there.
but if they rupture, oh boy.
what's with this suicidal tendency though?
I'll bite,
I got a gf who lives a thousand miles away from me and she's being abused by her parents, we both are aged 21 but live with our parents.
how do you define this abuse?
For a year now they shout all this stuff to her about how she is ugly and a disgrace, sometimes in public even.
Eh, it's not suicidal so much as that I don't really care. Fuck it, what happens happens. Just really callous about death. It kinda happens when you burn or bury 3 or 4 people a week.
maybe her parents going through a rough patch. even grownup people vent. and usually the ones to take it are family members.
you are old enough. you know you two could just go away somewhere. get jobs, rent a flat. flip them off
is that your job, or a hobby?
Yeah I'd like to, i just have to land a steady job, got any experience with moving out?
I do.
you have to plan in advance. if you have an income now, make sure to save at least two months of rent and minimal food.
make sure your girlfriend does so too.
start looking for a place to stay, preferable out of town, next town.
look for a job there in advance.
if needs to be done, stealthily from your parents go have a interview.
if you are successful, voila, you made it.
all is in diligent planing.
expect that it might take 3-4 months at best, if you don't already have cash.
and if you don't have a sufficient income, get a part time shitty job, preferably with tips.
save money for at least two months rent and at least 3 months of food worth of money,
I mean
Lol, it's my job. I'm not a serial killer. I don't need to kill for work to be steady.
lol well it's not like I can know that. there whole lot of different people all around, you know.
so what do you work?
Thanks for the talk, take care pall
see you next time
I'm a cryptkeeper. Gravedigger. Cemetary maintenance man. Whatever you want to call it. Creepy groundskeeper probably fits well too. I deal with a lot of death, y'know.
oh I bet. I spent a yer in the morgue. gives you quite an insight into worthiness of a human life.
do you get to scare teens in graveyards in the middle of the night with your shovel?
you should carry that old oil lamp with you for extra points
year*
>mfw I'm sleepy
Nah, I did get to fuck with a bunch of people playing pokemon go the other day though. Apparently some legendary or something was at the graveyard. Imagine like 100 people wandering around a graveyard in the middle of nowhere. And a guy with a bunch of tattoos walking around with a sickle in one hand and a cigarette in the other accosting them. 8/10, would do again.
yeaaa, that's the shit I'm talking about!
see, that brings some joy to a mundane chore
Yeah, being creepy is a perk.
Girlfriend lied to me about a lot of stuff having a rough patch with her. We're arguing while I'm typing this out. Idk what to do anymore.
I've been in such a relationship. my gf of 3 years started spiraling into pit of never ending lies. unfortunate for her, she was also bad at lieing.
at some point I just understood that what she wants is to live the life she imagines she needs to, but doesn't want to leave me.
I did entertain her for a while, learned what is it that she wants to "become"in life. and broke up with her.
sure is difficult thing to do. but if you can't work things out...
this is not a surprise to you either.
but like in my case, I decided that my happiness is not worth this struggle.
stay strong, user
lol. especially if you are a big guy with intimidating face and deep voice
all of my friends have started turning on me, saying shit like 'I remember when user was chill'
Thanks izaya, good night.
so maybe you did change in not-such-a-good direction.
what happened, user?
good night, user bro
I'm a small-ish, kinda girly guy. But the sickle does wonders.
oh, then you can be a perfect reaper
I just became super edgy I guess, started going full-weeaboo and I wouldn't take much seriously, always joked about everything
So has Sup Forums become the go to place for socially and/or mentally retarded people for advice now?
what else was it ever. except for the advice part.
so you've changed. it's still ok if you are 17, but if you are 25 and up, you should tone down
how do I become loved and liked?
first of all, get a social life
if you already have that, skip first step.
then develop tones of charisma
or learn to manipulate the shit out of people.
though the first choice would let you have actual genuine friendships.
/ez
that looks like alot of work
love is a lot of work
today was a good day.
I actively hate myself and my body. It escalated into a direction that one could consider positive. I trained last Monday and Thursday at the gym today I ran a 5k tomorrow I'm going to gym day after that too. That's not the end of it because I plan to train 6 days a week 3 times at the gym 3 times at a kickboxing gym. Why? Because I'm 185 cm 18 year old male weighing ~91kg (dropped from 95 after dropping from 102 few years back).I might be lowkey starving myself and my overall metabolism might be very fucked cause I have a heart rate of 40-45 bpm and I'm no fucking athlete. I don't like to eat I like to binge last Sunday after birthday party of a friend I legit ate half a kilo of tortilla chips with dip. I doubt I'll ever be loved by anyone who isn't forced to and I'm just realising the limitations of my intelligence which is learning 3 languages to a fluent level and becoming a programmer
>inb4 father died last year late August and we buried him on 2nd September day before my 18th birthday
pff. nonesense.
with all that training? you will be on top in no time. well, actually 3 months, that's all you need to stick with it. because after that you'd have forgotten when was the last time you had to make yourself workout.
also
fucking cardio. a-fucking lot cardio. I'd suggest you sit on a GOOD diet and do shitloads of cardio; running once a week, 2 times rowing. you can do more than that, but limit running, because with your weight and running as much as you are planing, you are gonna shit your knees in two weeks.
take it easy with languages and programing though. languages might be quite hard to master. don't get frustrated.
fucking sorry about your old man though. make him proud.
Pretty hard with languages well I could basically bail on my mother language cause I don't need it in school since we moved but my German I still wonky as hell
BTW I plan to fight light contact kickboxing next year
that's a good choice to get some confidence pumping through those veins.
so I suppose you are english
and now in germany?
what languages are you going for?
Here I got ya mate.
>tfw filthy pole
I guess that I don't have to learn English anymore as I pass for an English man
lmao.
well yeah, if you are not planing to come home, might as well drop that one.
you could pass for a nigger man on the internet if you wanned to
>inb4
I hide some organs inside me,
I desire a Vacation no I NEED a Vacation
tell me more
I like to write like this because it doesn't sound like the English in the English classes. You know all high and mighty like they got a rod up their ass. When I write like a retard I basically "meme ironically" and say look at me I can speak this sorry excuse for a language so well that making it my dirty retarded little slut just for fun
I literally have no real friends, i had one but i moved and now we only talk by phone, i look like a girl and everybody thinks im gay even tho i always wanted a girlfriend...
... everyone in the place i study acts like they're full of shit and i just am a total beta wth social anxiety so people ignore me.
my family thinks i should start doing my own shit even tho they dont want me to get away from them, so they want me to work 'n shit to pay the bills tho they dont want me to move to my own house...
i've had some girls that were interested in me before, tho i'd chicken out 'cos social anxiety, so everynight i go to sleep thinking what i could have done to things turn out differently...
i think i should just die.
well all the work made my dick go limp, can't get it up anymore
Izaya, would you happen to have Steam?
Go my way user
Train 6 days a week
No friends no distractions
Heck you might make some at the gym!
I'll tell you it secretly everyone is egolifting and it ain't bad
the only people who can understand what you are saying, and still pulling on your "grammar skillz" are fucking dumbfucks. nobody cars as long as people understand eachother.
cut it off them. better do it on livestream.
all it does is use extra oxygen and doesn't perform any function
God speed Izuya-user
And God speed all poor soul seeking help from him
It's time to sleep for me so I can lift heavy object in hope of being finally fulfilled one day
shit, nigga. you are just crying over spilled milk. we all have things we feel sorry for doing or not doing. but if there's a thing I can tell you about life, it's that it goes on.
so should you. fuck the past. fuck the sorry feeling.
nigga, you've got mountains to topple and nations to conquer.
don't have social life - shit, you don't need it. more time for shit you wanna do. and when you start doing shit you like, voila, you'll be killing your friends so they let you have a minute alone.
go to a gym, make some friends who like moving heavy object over short distances, get some self esteem with that.
and you had girlfriends before? see. ain't fucking end of the world.
cmon, nigga, lift your girly ass. lets meet on the top of that mountain.
in fact, I do. I don't use it very often.
in times when I'm too drunk to anything but CS:GO vs bots
this user has a point.
and as soon as you get that self-esteem smell about you, people flock.
have a good sleep, and good day tomorrow, annon-san
I just wanna chat with you! You seem like good company. LINE maybe? Discord?
you can find me on discord. stealth pandah
stealth pandah#1385