Can someone please be my girlfriend?

Can someone please be my girlfriend?

No, this isn't a sarcastic thread or a stupid thread. It's a desperate plea for help. I feel so goddamn lonely. Nobody irl likes me in that way. I don't get why. I think I'm good looking, I'm hygienic, I have no bad habits - what am I doing wrong?

Girls, if you're here, I promise to look after you like nobody else would. I'll pay for your stuff, I'll drive you everywhere, I'll do whatever you want.

I have some cool little party tricks I can do for amusement. Like, I can crack my jaw. I have a poster collection - vintage, new, big, small, all the posters. I can do the knife game flawlessly. I'm not stupid, but not obnoxiously smart either. I socialise well. I suffer no mental illnesses or physical defects. I don't have a bad sense of fashion, nor do I do embarrassing shit in public. I'm funny, but I can take shit seriously when it's needed.

It's getting to the point where I might never find a girlfriend. Please give me a chance.

lol go to farmersonly.com user

Sup Forums is literally the last place you will ever find a chick lmao

lol go to blackpeoplemeet.com user

...

this is pretty sad, i hope it's copypasta

I've seen a few cute girls here though, confirmed of course.

I figure maybe I'll get lucky.

...

ya but they only want money or attention or both. you don't want a thot my dude.

Unfortunately not. That's my situation.

I don't mind. I can trick myself into the illusion that they love me. I have plenty of money and attention to give.

Op, you have to understand that such severe desperation will only drive women away.

Are you aware of the Dennis system?

if you're actually as good as you said in your post, then you don't need to settle for a thot my man

I wasn't until just now. Searched it up. Looks interesting enough.

Leave Sup Forums for while go out mingle with girls in bars and clubs.
Make a tinder, baddoo acc.
Meet girls just for sex until you find a suitable partner.
Dont punch above your weight.
Give it a 6 months to a year if that don't work use grindr and date a trap.

But traps are gay.

I'm not gay.

i will op

Wow. The sad post is sad

hubba hubba

herp

>feminine penus
>feminine
>fem
>inine
NO GAY it's no gay

But they're guys that look like girls.

It's still gay though.

Jesus op, you're the saddest beta I've heard, go on a dating site or something

Can I see pics then I'll consider
Also what are you into? Tell me more about yourself

Do you like transgirls too? I mean someone passing as a girl and lives 24/7 as one, not a trap or crossdresser.

Super gay.

If there is a penis, it is gay. Even if they got a sacc-tuck. Gayyyyyy

...

Sorry, sure thing. Was making some food.

I enjoy model construction, building paper planes and lining crayons up in order of the colour spectrum.

I also enjoy pampering people. I get a nice warm fuzzy feeling from it.

Other than that, my interests include watching movies, common banter, reading, occasional political discussions, all that. I also like video games like most other guys, as well as doing dangerous shit.

No if you're not straight you're gay, and you're only straight if you're completely hetero, no half fags

Just kill yourself. Take it from me, someone who should have done the same a decade ago. Do not make my mistake.
1) Life never gets any better. You will exhaust your youth and energy trying to be happy. You may try hard in school, try to find a fulfilling job, or love. None of it lasts and none of it is truly satisfying.
2) No one will love you. Not you you worthless sack of shit. At best somebody will settle for you. Maybe they will be nice and never admit that you weren't their first choice. She won't think of you when you fuck her and in her mind you will never add up.
3) It wouldn't last. No one wants to put up with you for long. Best case scenario they'd start to wander and become disenfranchised after two years. Usually well before that, especially if anyone else shows interest. The type of people who would date you are probably insecure enough to put out for anyone who gives them the right attention.
4) Ultimately you are just depending. Using other people to try to fill an emptiness inside. You can't be happy. Even if against all odds somebody loved you. You will never be happy. Your only escape is death.

>Nobody irl likes me in that way. I don't get why.

>I'm good looking
Scraaaape

>I'm hygienic
SCRAAAPE

>I have no bad habits
SCRAAAAAAAAPE

So how's the bottom of that barrel?

Dude you've only just barely reached "not inhumanly disgusting but still completely worthless as a person"

Work harder on yourself, get richer, get more good looking. If you can't, resign. Love is not a right, earn it or leave.

Somebody post the low quality bait pic im on my phone

Also I forgot to mention it but there are like 3 women that browse Sup Forums in a given month. All of whom have their pick of this desperate sausage fest. You most be nearing rock bottom to come here for help. This is the sign you need. Just end it here. Give up. Lay down in front of some rural train tracks or something quick. It is the only way.

ok your facial structure looks like you wander earth like a zombie with zero energy, no real drive for something higher, no passion. Clearly, you're not a leader, nor are you a protector. you are a skinny faggot that's whining on the internet. also your ears look like they do but actually don't help you fly. you should go to the gym, and first figure out what you really want; develop an aggressiveness towards getting there, lead, protect, take. become a man.

Shit man... Makes you think.

Perhaps I will. If there's nobody here that can make me at least feel happy for a little bit, I'll do it.

You and me both brother. There is no hope or solace here but self delusion.

>Just kill yourself. Take it from me, someone who should have done the same a decade ago. Do not make my mistake.
>1) Life never gets any better. You will exhaust your youth and energy trying to be happy. You may try hard in school, try to find a fulfilling job, or love. None of it lasts and none of it is truly satisfying.
>2) No one will love you. Not you you worthless sack of shit. At best somebody will settle for you. Maybe they will be nice and never admit that you weren't their first choice. She won't think of you when you fuck her and in her mind you will never add up.
>3) It wouldn't last. No one wants to put up with you for long. Best case scenario they'd start to wander and become disenfranchised after two years. Usually well before that, especially if anyone else shows interest. The type of people who would date you are probably insecure enough to put out for anyone who gives them the right attention.
>4) Ultimately you are just depending. Using other people to try to fill an emptiness inside. You can't be happy. Even if against all odds somebody loved you. You will never be happy. Your only escape is death.

Anyone else going to hell with us? I bet a lot of you cunts find this relatable.

grow some fucking balls, bitches love a man with options

You know, there's a high school with a lot of kids across the road from my house. Literally looking at it now. Maybe make some headlines before I off myself? OP btw.

Sorry OP you aren't necessarily my type but I say keep looking you'll get em one day

So you can never have the type of relationship you want. You have to act all the time. Never be comfortable

He already said he doesn't have any mental illnesses.

Not me. Nice and quiet, unmourned and unmissed.

Just don't do anything to restrict the gun rights of those of us still capable of happiness

go to tinder their allot of desperate girls

Ah, alrighty.

Well, I wish you well should anything occur after death. Truly. Thank you.

In another life, Sup Forums. Catch you all later.

Good luck. I hope you find peace. I hope we both do.

whats your location OP?

I'm also curious

this whole thread is Sup Forumsro feels

This thread is pathetic

Do you by any chance own a Fedora and weigh more than 250 pounds?

>Just kill yourself. Take it from me, someone who should have done the same a decade ago. Do not make my mistake.
>1) Life never gets any better. You will exhaust your youth and energy trying to be happy. You may try hard in school, try to find a fulfilling job, or love. None of it lasts and none of it is truly satisfying.
>2) No one will love you. Not you you worthless sack of shit. At best somebody will settle for you. Maybe they will be nice and never admit that you weren't their first choice. She won't think of you when you fuck her and in her mind you will never add up.
>3) It wouldn't last. No one wants to put up with you for long. Best case scenario they'd start to wander and become disenfranchised after two years. Usually well before that, especially if anyone else shows interest. The type of people who would date you are probably insecure enough to put out for anyone who gives them the right attention.
>4) Ultimately you are just depending. Using other people to try to fill an emptiness inside. You can't be happy. Even if against all odds somebody loved you. You will never be happy. Your only escape is death.
Quoted for truth

Give it five years. You will end up the same way. Probably back here just like OP.

>tldr

still u reply??? y???........autism overload

if you are gonna kill your self, at least stream it

i found the doggo

oh my lord, you edgy r9k /k/ wannabe school shooter people need to stop perpetuating the stereotype that we can't have nice things (guns) in this country without going postal. GO TAKE SOME MMA CLASSES AND STOP BEING TOOTHPICK SELF-VICTIMIZING/ DRAMATIZING BETAS.
Your lives are not that bad, you kweens need to join the military or something. I'd rather you go Full Metal Jacket than Columbine. Try some shit like that and I will personally kill you myself.

Or just kill yourself quietly in private. Either way is better than dying for the jews. If you arne't happy now I doubt having less freedom, no women around, and getting yelled at constantly will be an improvement.

NIce ears fucking dumbo... also what's with the moot on drugs face? Just because you are on Sup Forums doesn't mean he has to be your role model faglord

Oh, the problem appears to be that you think you're good looking. Drop your standards, drastically.

America bitches love to fuck anything in uniform, so at least he'd get some action when not deployed.

>standards
he was literally begging on Sup Forums.

such a sad thread. Is this how I end up too?

holy ears, and the lack of face symmetry. OP you gotta not be so autistic

its ok op is dead now

Sorry Im taken sweetie :'(
Dont like seeing anyone down like this.
I hope you find love x

I think if you went to a doctor and got your ears glued back (being serious) I think that would help you drastically. I dont think you are bad looking. Ive dated worse

keep chopping wood faggot