Story time Sup Forums

Story time Sup Forums

This is the reason I tried to kill myself and the reason why I will eventually follow through. No greentext because I'm lazy. Already typed out so I will copy/paste. I dont care if no one reads... I have to get this out there because ive never told anyone. I have to get it off my chest to someone.

I tried, last October, to OD on opioids. I am a user, but relatively light. My fiance at the time has just cheated on me and I was in tge process of moving out. I had to live with her for a month for reasons I won't get in to. I had to watch her go out and not return for days because she was with him. She wasn't necessarily the reason for my attempt, but it definitely didn't make my life any easier. She doesn't really understand my depression, like a lot of people don't, but that's not her fault. It's difficult for a lot to understand until they go through it for themselves. On the outside, it would appear that I had a fairly nice life. Great girl, decent job, wonderful parents, the works.

I was sexually abused as a child, but worse, I watched several times as my cousin (best friend at the time) was raped by her older brother (same person who abused me). I was too young to understand really at the time what was going on. He always told us it was a game, but deep down I knew it felt wrong. I played along, however. She always seemed to allow it and never fought it, but she was only a year older than me...so I assume she didn't know any better either. His mother was my babysitter, so this was a weekly event for about 3 years. I never told on him. I don't know why. Mayne I'm a bad person. Anyway, if I wanted to play his Nintendo late at night, I had to suck his cock. If I wanted to play a game or do something I thought was fun and his mother wasn't around (he watched us alone often as he was 15 or 16 and his mother left often), I had to suck his cock. He would take us out in the woods close to her (my aunt) house and we would "sword" fight with our dicks to see who won the princess (my cousin). The winner, which was always him, then fucked the princess. Like I said, this went on for 3 years or so. Until my mother quit working and became a stay at home mother.

(Cont)

Did I mention I am adopted? My adoptive parents are phenomenal. Perfect in ever way and they love me like no other. I found out that I was adopted during a fight with my cousin (the girl who was raped) at a very young age. I asked my mother about it and she told me the truth. I asked to know who my "real parents" were and she cried, so I didn't bring it up fir many years. When I turned 10, i told my mother that all I wanted for my birthday was to know the names of my paternal and maternal parents. She cried again, so I recanted and left it alone. Fast forward to my 21st birthday... I was smashed drink. Out of my mind, ridiculously intoxicated. My mother picked me up from the bars....because my Mom is fucking amazing, caring, and wants me to always be safe... I asked again who my "real" parents are. Her reply? "I thought you had figured it out by now...It's your aunt. The one who babysat you all those years." So yeah. The guy who's cock I sucked... That's my brother. That girl I watched repeatedly raped? That's my sis. What a wonderful world.

(End)

So there it is, guise. I'm a product of shit. I have the genetics of shit. I'm a faggot and a weak ass piece of trash. I dont deserve to live and as of now, my plan is to take this child raping mother fucker with me. Possibly at a family event.

I hope your childhoods and your lives are better than mine. I've always enjoyed this place and I might just miss it when I'm gone.

Stay golden.

Just...wow. what a mindfuck

Adios

Hasta la vista, mi amigo.

Dont do it...

Damn that is one fucked up life story. But what if you survive and, as they say "You kill a swine but get sentenced as if you killed a human"...

my condolences

I already survived once. I won't fail next time. I won't be silly enough to try with drugs again.

Do it, it's the only way to redeem yourself. Kill that raping bastard and then off yourself. Do it for sis

Hey buddy. Check it. The reason I'm gonna kms is bc i can't get a bump for this thread

If i was you op i would kill myself too.

In any case I do believe that if someone wants to kill himself, they should do it in a sober state.

nigga this doesn't even make sense

How did you meet you fiance, if you dont mind me asking?

I feel morally obligated to recommend against suicide, but if you truly feel that there's no alternative then I won't hold that against you. Hopefully you at least get a chance to suplex his pedo ass off a balcony or something

BBQ festival. Why?

Good luck OP.

It's best if you don't do it because this issue will disappear in time. But I know you can't see that right now.

I'm in my 50's now and man, the amount of shit that happens in your life when you count time in decades...it's been an amazing fucking ride.

I'm an orphan and I had a pretty fucked up start, and like you in my early years I wanted to die and tried a few times.

I don't know how you feel, even though I've been in a similar place, and that's how I know you have to figure it out for yourself. But if you can take any advice from an actual oldfag then just hear me when I say that in a decade this won't matter nearly as much, and when you're in your 50's maybe you'll troll sites like this looking to help people like who you were.

Good luck op.

Nah, let him live but expose his child-molesting ass for everyone to see him for what he truly is...

This was 27 years ago. I dont think this issue will pass.

This is hard for me to admit but...
I was actually also sexually abused for basically all of my childhood. It was my brother and knowing he was my brother just made it worse.
I never even complied, but he just .. forced himself on me
it scarred me for life.
I never told my parents either... I think this is because I thought that they wouldn't believe me or because I thought it would get worse.
That's just the tip of the iceberg though.

There is actually no point to this story I just needed to get this off my chest. Just know that you are not alone with your problems.
I had similar thoughts like you and also attempted suicide but I'm glad that I survived.
I haven't given up and I hope that you won't either

hope I dont make it worse with this

You did not. Thanks for sharing. We all have our burdens to bear...

Has it been this painful during the entire 27 years, or does it sometimes have less importance in your world (and more importance at other times)?

It sounds like you've been badly harmed by your fiance and that's compounding this a lot, but before that you were probably very happy with her.

Even though I was raped as a child and a bunch of other awful shit (dead bodies and stuff) happened, actually the worst thing that happened to me in my life was when I caught my wife having an affair. I've never felt such pain in my life, I swear it was like the skin being peeled off my soul.

It took a few years but I managed to fucking crawl out of that ocean of shit too.

The thing to know is, it does get better. And it gets worse too, I'm not going to fucking lie, shit gets bad from time to time and sometimes it can really blow your mind.

I'm beat up now and not really well suited to relationships anymore, been alone for a few years and that will probably continue for...shit, maybe that's it for me and relationships. But I hike, and I run marathons, and I've found that being on my own can be okay.

The thing is, there is no other option. Okay there's death, but trust me you will be served to death soon enough just by fate. And once you're dead you're dead for eternity.

We have this one, brief, fucked up spark of life. That's all we get. And as fucked up and painful as this little spark is, I'm hanging on to mine for as long as I can. I'll be dead soon enough, and in the meantime I'll play video games and train for marathons.

sorry dude

My fiance cheated on me because of my crippling depression that I could never tell her about. I do go through periods of highs and lows due to this. During my lies, I completely shut in and shut down. She asked a million times what was wrong or what she could do and I simply shut her out. She got tired of it and me not touching her at all for months on end. I do not blame her. In fact, we are back together. She knows somewhat of this Story, but not all. She does now know of my depression also. She's actually an amazing woman. I did her wrong, she did me wrong... we have forgiven one another.. I will feel terrible for what I do because of her, but I feel there is no turning back now. I will also feel terrible for my dog. He has always been there for me when no one else is. I'll miss him.

dude......

when you decide to go, please stream it for us. seriously, we would all be able to remember you better that way

what a beta fag tho, u were born to suck the d lmaoo

Haha. You're funny. How long did it take you to think of a post that's been used here since the beginning?

Good luck OP.

fuck dont let your dog go through that.
I have seen it with my cousin and her dog literally refused to eat and got sick. I have never seen a dog that miserable.
Dont let your dog go through that

Life, dude. Take it. Otherwise you are literally out like a light and what the fuc is the point of that?

what a bitch, letting her control u like that

Dude, why kill yourself? Just save up some money, enough to get you across the border. Go to Home Depot. Buy yourself a hammer. Take your brother deep into the woods and beat his skull in with the hammer. Leave a note for your relatives and run away to some exotic third world country and live out the rest of your life simply.

Honestly if that happened to me I would torture him for months.

It makes no sense to me why you want to kill yourself and not the dude that made you suck his dick. Just grab a knife and stab him- that sure will give you some closure.