Amy Schumer: “Patrick Stewart came all over my tits”

What does Sup Forums think of the """comedy""" Amy (((Schumer)))?

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Why don't actual funny women like Ellen (when she did stand up) get credit instead of Amy Schumer? I don't understand.

How/Why is she famous?

So classy, she reminds of a Queen of olden times

Somebody just fucking end her already,

I'd duct tape her mouth shut and cum inside her

Look up who Amy Schumer's uncle is.

Remember. Sup Forums isn't right all of the time, but we're definitely right MOST of the time.

>I'd duct tape her mouth shut and cum inside her

what did he mean by this?

HARPOON THAT WHALE

youtube.com/watch?v=O4p0uw42cdo

Amy Schumer will never be funny, even men pretending to be women are funnier.

I'm not watching that. Can someone summarize?

>IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO

literally didn't even smirk once, why are people laughing?

...

JUST.

Fat pig makes a joke about Patrick Stewart cumming on her tits and how when she holds her tits when she walks to the bathroom to wipe the cum off, it makes the "saddest shelf you've ever seen."

Michael Caine, in the audience, looks perturbed, which causes Amy to call him out and demand that he laugh at her joke.

Last few minutes of her award speech is talking about where she likes men to cum on her..seriously.

She's like the female equivalent of a repulsive looking male comedian who only tells dick jokes.

you better laugh you racist, bigot, LQBTI&*+phobe, cis-normative nazi manplainer

Jesus christ that was literally like an Amy Schumer skit.

>Amy Schumer is, in fact, related to Chuck Schumer. If you don't know your politics , Chuck Schumer is the senior United States Senator from New York.

When somebody suddenly comes on to the media-scene out of fucking nowhere, and they're in fucking everything despite being vapidly untalented, it's USUALLY because they have friends/family in high places and lots of money.

What do you think Kanye was thinking?

can you just tell us who it is and how it related to her being a comedian?

WOW two punchlines in almost seven minutes! A new record!

Another Period has funny women on it.

Amy Schumer has never been on Another Period.

You know, normally I wouldn't go near that snatch with someone else's 10 foot pole, but with her presenting like that....

>Michael Caine, in the audience, looks perturbed, which causes Amy to call him out and demand that he laugh at her joke
Please tell me this isn't true

see: pic related

Based Kanye.

Nigga can call his wife out for being OJ Simpson's spawn in a rap and nobody even bats an eyelash.

that was terrible, and you should feel bad.

It is, watch it if you dare.

Isn't Patrick Stewart gay?

>Michael Caine, in the audience, looks perturbed, which causes Amy to call him out and demand that he laugh at her joke.

Female """"""comedians""""""

Okay, I'll summarize.

I want to cum on Florence the machine's feet really bad. Followed by haram pig squealing for 5 minutes and one of the greatest actors of our generation witness the downfall of modern comedy

Khloe is OJ's secret daughter, not Kim.

Kim looks exactly like her father, while Khloe is like 5 inches taller than both her parents and looks like a wookie

>he thinks being related to a politician is an in for the entertainment business
lol

The name makes me apprehensive.

4:39 if you need to break your heart

No, I think I'll pass.

He has a biological son. At most, he's bi. But honestly I think he's straight but has been around theater types too long. Plus he's English, so that adds a ton of gay points.

Khloe is the hairdresser's daughter tho

no, that's Ian McKellan

Even niggers be like wtf with this bitch

...

It's great. It's extremely offensive. And Michael Ian Black is on it.

Jesus Christ she's an embarrassment.

>Michael Ian Black
>funny

I didn't know it was 2006

>that pic
>"maybe if I provide a crotch shot I'll get views"
I'm not even clicking that link, nigga. Fuck that attention whore slut.

sage

Seriously her act is embarrassing, and I think you're right: there was a raunchy Bear Grylls punchline and an Anne Frank punchline, but the rest was just meandering raunch for shock value. And how fucking mega edgy do you have to be to wear that fucking smug expression the whole time you defile an award someone just took the time to give you?

jesus she got fatter

she's honey boo boos mom tier now

bump

"family"

Oh god. This is painful, SJW already hated Caine for being an old white guy that supported Brexit anyway.
>be a british talented classically trained actor who's respected and admired by your peers all over the world
>fat pig comes on stage to talk about her tits, demands you laugh at her """"jokes""''
>you're the bad guy for not laughing
When will this ride end?

>When will this ride end?
When the West falls.

Caine is actually a Gypsy pretending to be white.

>t. butthurt Magyar

"I wonder if she bleached her asshole"

Is it Schumer, or (((Schumer)))?

Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

I've never watched that show but Natasha Leggero is hilarious.

wtf is wrong these people

who actually finds this shit funny?

I'd still fuck her. I bet she's got a juicy pussy.

liberals

u sure m8?

Amy Schumer keeping it classy as always!

You go gal!

I didn't think it was funny

yea she's got a chubby pussy and probably doesn't get fucked that much.

She seems like a fun fat girl fuck.

...

"I Am A God."

All the stuff I've seen her do for the last two years (interviews, stand-up, her sketch show) makes me firmly believe that she has a vendetta against men in general. Even when she makes fun of herself lusting after men, her humor comes from a place of hate and resentment. She's disgusted by men almost as much as she's disgusted by herself.

She's the comedic epitome of a college girl who drunkenly grinds against you at a party and when you touch her waist, she says "gross, don't touch me" and then she starts pushing your face, not slapping, just like frustratedly trying to manipulate your face, before she stumbles away, laughing.

Is he wrong?

sounds like you've experienced that personally? just a guess?

How can you both be this coarse and yet so bland and unfunny?
Miriam Margolyes and Joan Rivers are/were this coarse and still fucking hilarious yet this cunt is so... just bland. The fact she looks like she's doing everyone a favor doesn't help, either.

No. He is the god of delusion.

How long til this bitches nudes leak and she gets harassed like Harambe?

I'm still convinced to this day that there isn't a single person who actually finds her funny, people just laugh or say they think she's funny because other people do it and they think they're being cool because she's the edgy "in" comedian of the moment

When even two of the most prolific attention whores on the planet think your attention whoring goes too far

>Harambe
Literally, unironically, metaphysically, explicitly, metaphorically, facetiously, implicitly go back to Facebook.

>Im the best

That's so specific and I know exactly what you're talking about.

Harambe is a Sup Forums meme now, bud

>aping (no pun intended) memes from Facebook that were beaten to death months ago
Kill yourself, underage scum.

were you not here for the Leslie Jones nudez?

are you unaware that her alter ego is harambe?

hola reddito!

I--wait, what?

There's just nothing to her material
>Patrick Stewart came all over my tits
No context, no lead-in, no punchline, no expansion (other than that minor gag of accusing him of being senile)... all with the delivery of someone reading an instruction manual. I mean "saddest shelf"?? Really? How about a fucking kleenex that everyone has beside the bed???

How did she even get in a position of being the "it" comedienne?? Certainly not be doing shit like this.

he face is just inherently unattractive. horrible beady eyes, pig snout, thin lips and all ageing poorly

>american female "comedians"
Every time.

She raped me at a nightclub back in 1999

Nigger I was here for it, this was mere weeks ago, and it was still playing off of a beaten to death meme. Neck yourself.

>How did she even get in a position of being the "it" comedienne?? Certainly not be doing shit like this.

She got a show on Comedy Central thanks to her (((connections))). Nobody watched it, but some feminist bloggers started getting hooker, and then suddenly there's 10,000 think-pieces being written about her every week. Same shit happened with Lena Dunham when Girls first aired in 2011. Just like Dunham, Schumer's show got a brief bump in ratings then dropped precipitously. Yet, due probably to a very good press agent, she was able to maintain a large presence in the media through a series of feminist stunts, appearances at awards shows, making "bold," "yaas giirrll" feminist statements on twitter and instagram that would get hundreds of articles written about them on Jezebel, Gawker, HuffPo, Yahoo!, etc., etc., etc.

Fuck you

Maria Bamford is a fucking treasure.

It probably helped that she attached herself to Jennifer Lawrence early on

literally who?

Has there been a single prominent female comedian in the last 30 years that hasn't made crude sex jokes the bulk of her routine?

Literally Google you fucking neanderthal

Tig Notaro?

how's boxxy doing these days? I haven't seen her since I left Sup Forums years ago

Nikki Glazer is also great. Only closet fags and christian prudes disagree

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