So, my cunt of a colleague needed a car to get his daughter from school, as his car was getting a paint-job. Me...

So, my cunt of a colleague needed a car to get his daughter from school, as his car was getting a paint-job. Me, being the fucking idiot that I am gave it to him as he seemed to really need it. A couple of hours later when he returned it, there were two huge scratch marks in the back. When confronted about it he said they were already there, and that I tried to trick him into paying for it. Long story short, I am trying to fuck his car up now. Is it possible for me to do something which will make his car not turn on? I want it to be something not so obvious, so maximum panic can ensue. Oh, and before anyone suggests putting sugar in his gas tank; it will not work. Tried it. Also searched up on it, and is just a common myth.

Fuck his daughter.

put something in the exhaust pipe

murder him then wear his skin like a fine suit

Bleach. Run

Put bologne on his car in the hot summer sun

it fucks up the paint and is hilarious

Put your shit under the door handles

Why sugar? Just use water dip shit. Don't you know anything about gasoline combustion engines? If you're too dumb and have to ask then you should be bothering to do it

Dubs of truth

Also you could try and get the spark out
Shouldn't be that hard if you have access to his keys

Ummm. Power steering fluid will do way more damage and not be seen. Waste of deli meat. Kys

pour water or diesel in his tank,use a screwdriver if you cant open the cap from the outside

>zip tie a harmonica near the radiator
>only makes noise when car is in motion
>can easily be hidden
>average mechanics won't be able to isolate the noise or determine wtf it even is

/o/ has its moments

If you can get under the hood, remove all the spark plug wires. It's easy to do and will render the car a 2500 pound boulder.

>sugar in gas tank is just a myth

youre a fucking idiot twice overe. pls stick to your neon light street racing 16 second monsters.

hilarious

That is fucking brilliant

This or just straight dirt. Get a plastic bottle fills with dirt or dry soil and put it in the tank. Might take 3-5 days for the fuel filter to get fucked up, but its very effective.

if you can get inside take of the dashboard plastic cover and cut all the wires you see

do you want to actually ruin his car? just pour water in the gas tank. its virtually free, won't break down right away, and be extremely expensive to repair. If youre just looking to scare him without causing serious damage, idk.. without having access to under the hood, and assuming its not a truck so you can't crawl underneath it.. not a whole lot you can do man

youre assuming he can get under the hood

Unless he's a fatass, you can get on the ground and install this in minutes tops under the front bumper

You mean if you boil water and add sugar to this until max suspension, then pour that mixture into the gas yes?

Depending on the car if they're one the bottom remove his o2 sensors won't severely fuck it up but very noticeable

Checked.

Banana in tailpipe

He got a paint job.

Your car was scratched twice.

Scratch his new paint job 3 times.

Eye for an eye plus one.

>plus one
make it two user, for good measure

Sanding grease or Permatex 80037 Valve Grinding Compound straight into the oil intake

Wait for him near his car then prank him to death with a tire iron.

Open the valve on the bottom of his radiator and drain all the coolant. It'll fuck up his engine beyond repair.

Remember to wair gloves
>Obtain access to the car some how
>leave it with the windows open in a black getto
>???
>profit

GENIUS

dubs of truth, do it OP

Here's a simple and harmless prank, but also extremely annoying.

Buy a valve core remover on Amazon, should only cost like five bucks. At night, pull out the valve core in his tire and watch as all the air deflates in less than 30 seconds. Repeat until they get so frustrated they buy a new tire, then start doing it to a different tire

Why leave the windows open?

Get a can or 2 of butane
Spray them in the gas tank
Throw a lit match in the tank

Cause niggers will steal it

checkaroonied

cut the brake lines

But that has nothing to do with the windows

Steal his car
Crash it into his house

The windows are open so bums can have sex in the car then shit in it.

Drain the engine oil, drain coolant, put metal shavings into the engine oil, throw some brake fluid / power steering fluid (DOT4) onto the paint, grease the brake discs... The possibilities are endless.

It makes it easier for them to do it

Hur dur. You literally never done anything to a car. He wants revenge, not murder someone. Are you 12? You think brake lines are rubber everywhere? Wouldn't see the amount of massive fluid under the car? Not feel that moment when he has to step on the brake to turn the key to start the car and the pedal goes to the floor?

you seriously can't gauge ow much i'm fucking laughing at that idea
fuckin brilliant

1000000 internets to you sir

Yea that's dumb. Go try it yourself first before advising it retard

potato in the tailpipe. use a broom handle to shove it way the fuck up there.

shrimp and raw chicken in a glass jar under the seat. once it rots enough it will explode.

Beyond repair? So replacing the head(s) is beyond repair? Cars that over heat go straight to the junk yard right?

switch around the spark plug wires so it fires out of sequence.

Pop under his hood and fuck up his distributor cap, slice the serpentine belt, and piss in the windshield wiper fluid reservoir

Walk away. Chalk it up as a learning experience. Do not lend tools. Do not lend vehicles. Do not lend money.

What if distributerless ignition. Why are all theses shit suggestions involve opening the hood?

Sugar in the gas tank isn't a myth.

It just doesn't work on most newer cars. My dad had an old Buick that got fucked because some mex put sugar in his gas tank.

Just fucking go under the front bumper and do the harmonica thing, cunt.
Sage

Pop his hood and drain then piss in his coolent,windows spray,oil and basically any thing you can
The beauty of this is that he will have to pay special cleaners to clean up because no mechanic will clean piss up

Suck it up and get over it. He did you a favor by outing himself as a cunt. Be the bigger man.

I enjoy bologna myself, but it's cheap prison food.
Also, it's funnier to see a car spotted with bologna.

Nigga plz

Go to the nearest garage, ask the guys in there for a reacharound. Then put that in his exhaust

Take a hammer or 2 and a friend
Cut the car alarm
Smash the fuck out of his car

Expanding urethane foam.

What are fuel filters and why wouldn't anybody just add water? It's so much easier then trying to get a fucking sugar packet sprinkled down the fucking flap. Everyone who suggests this doesn't know anything about cars.

Yes sir!

Take a paint scraper and scrape all of the pain of his car

>implying that you know how to make the car go zoom zoom

Put that in his gas tank

No OP. Responding to retards who know nothing of auto mechanics. If it's such a burden to you to see this thread, turn off your computer faggot or go to that trap thread you like so much.

You are going to need:
>a box of matches that don't have white tips
>a razor knife
>a small amount of thin solid wire (#18 or so)
>2 ounces of petroleum jelly
>18 ounces of potassium chlorate
>an 8 inch piece of 1 1/2" steel pipe, threaded at both ends
>two screw-on end caps for 1 1/2" steel pipe
>a power drill
>wax paper
>a rolling pin
>an m-80 (the firework)
>two 8" zip-ties
>two orange or tan wire nuts
Start by taking the razor knife and carefully scraping the red compound off of the matches, don't go too fast, you want it to be a powder. 20 matches worth of this should do the trick. Once you have your powder, add a few drops of water to it to make a thick paste. cut two pieces of wire about six inches long, skin about 1/8 of an inch off the insulation on each one. Hold them side by side so there's only a millimeter or two between them (use a dime as a spacer if you need to) and wad the damp red powder up around the skinned ends. This will need several hours to dry. Next, spread your 2 ounces of petroleum jelly out on the wax paper, add two ounces at a time of your potassium chlorate and work it into the petroleum jelly with the rolling pin. it will gradually thicken to the consistency of play-doh. Pack it into one end of the pipe and put on your screw-on end. Pull the fuse out of the m-80 and stick it in the other end of the pipe with the (formerly) fused end sticking out. Drill a 1/8 inch hole in the end of your other screw-on cap. Once your igniter (the match paste) is dry, stick it into the hole you pulled the m-80 fuse out of and put the other screw-on cap onto the pipe so the wires are sticking out through the 1/8" hole you drilled. Lay down under the front bumper of his car and look for the cooling fan on the radiator. There will be a small plug with two wires (often blue and white) that power the fan. Cut these two wires, wire-nut them to your igniter wires, and zip-tie the pipe to the radiator.
Go home and watch the news.

dumb, that's easy to fix and let's him know it was tampered with

Well I do actually.

Fuck off we are having fun

>getting triggered this easy
This isn't tumblr, kid
And OP is still an overweight faggot til he has timestamped proof he's not

>fill condom with chlorine
>drop in gas tank recepticle
>???
>profit!

I wasn't the one saging the thread faggot.
>not knowing the difference between triggered and trolling

sage advice, only smart comment here in a thread full of fucksticks

>not picking up his daughter and taking her home yourself

How does it get past the flap?

Put an oxidiser in the gas tank
You will be able to hear the explosion from your house

>this is butthurt
>responding twice

Cut his brake lines.

Wtf is a tumbler? And why do you know what it is?
>self project much

A crow bar I assume

This

i dont think op wants to kill him with a pipe bomb user

But that's not how it works in the movies....

If you're going to fuck with the breaks, locate the master cylinder and invert it. Air *eventually* gets in the lines. Happened one time I took a car in for repair, they apparently detached it for access and forgot to put the bolts back. Flipped under it's own weight. Not fun.

Wow!!!! So original!!!!! Holy shit user!!!! Good thing you read the entire thread to make sure that wasn't suggested!!! So tell me, have you ever cut a brake line? You speaking from experience or your literal autism and lack of auto mechanic knowledge? What results are you expecting by this?

Or it could be one of those flap things that opens when you push it my car dose that

shit thread is shit
too bad mods don't ban shit like this thread

Oh so you don't know? Never done it before so suggest it anyways?

if you don't want to go for sugar, just fucking fill his gas tank with polystyrene I guess, like lots of it, napalm style, that or mix some thermite and set it on the hood. If you really wanted to fuck it up you could just mix pool chlorine and brake fluid in a soda bottle and shove it up the tailpipe with a broomstick. Hydrocarbons will disassociate and combust under their own heat. or just simply fill a cardboard box with newspaper, soak it in petrol, light it and kick it under the chassis. good luck, post what you end up doing.

Put a mix of potassium nitrate and sugar under the hood it will smoke lihe a mother fucker

Oh yea? Ban the thread that didn't violate any rules? If the thread is shit, what u doing in it? Maybe you're the problem? You should be banned for a shit post if that was the case

...

Put metal shavings into some really dark dirty oil....add the oil to his engine. When the shop looks at it after the engine pops it will appear to be neglect and lack of oil changes

No I wasn't the person who the post was referring to

I have been chuckling continuously at this every couple seconds for a while now.

Nut in his gas tank

pour lacquer thinner on his car, it wont show immediately but within a few months all of the top coat will be stripped off and the paint will follow. that or just paint thinner. you can put oil in his exhaust, cigg butts or sand in the tank