Hey Sup Forums get this shit

Hey Sup Forums get this shit
>be me
> fat piece of shit that let himself go
Got this upcoming trip to Yosemite with long time best bud and he's bringing along his gf and a middle school crush of mine. This qt hasnt seen me in years but she says she's excited to see me again. Trip is on 9/1/2017. Im currently 246 lb how the fuck do i lose atleast those 47 lbs? I was 185 when last she saw me

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Your fucked idiot

Killyourself let nature do the work.

get diabetes

Not suicidal, at most ill be extremely embarrassed and them probably suicide thoughs will rush in

Wouldn't the process of getting diabetes make me fatter. Dont currently have diabetus

Start a plan to lose weight, and be passionate about it. She will respect that.

tfw she sees your dyel beta body of disgust

By any chance can you link me to like a hardcore workout routine i literally went out today to buy a gym membership

How long do you have?

Cut all soft drink, junk food, alcohol and bread from your diet. Only drink water. GO for a run the moment you wake up. You can lose a good deal of weight just by not eating like a fat fuck.

OP, look up the bodybuilding "EC stack". Follow the instructions carefully. Do that, eat well, and go to the gym 5 days a week. you'll drop an insane amount of weight if you stay on it. Good luck

Losing that much weight in only a month is impossible without liposuction. The only other option would be to roid up and go for a "built fat" look.

Best advice so far. Just commit to losing weight.
And dont fuck around.

the athlete in that picture; is on steroids in one of those photos. . . guess which one you beta cucks

cool beans op, now you just need a time machine np

I would watch TED talks on it everyday until it was drilled into my head.

I've been a semi-competitive runner since childhood, so I don't share this problem with you.

However I can tell you, that crazy work out schedules just hurt your confidence and creates barriers for you to start the workout. Make it easy for yourself. You're not going to lose 47 lbs in a month.

Break it down.
1. Get motivated. Friends who aren't supportive, drop them. Watch TED talks. Tell yourself you can do it.
2. Figure out your nutrition
3. drink water! Hunger is often mistaken for thirst
4. Enjoy, really enjoy your workout. Don't run. I am weird, I love running and I am made for it. Do something you like. Dance, chase your dog, skateboard, bike, etc. Just make it easy to start.

smoke meth

He's on roids in both pictures. He's in the early stages of palumboism.

Its HGH dumbfuck. As if you know anything about hard workand doing what it takes to be a killer.

Instead youll die of loneliness and mediocrity

I have short less than a month. 28 days
Will doIts an option ill look it up

>roids
>hgh
pick one keyboard warrior kiddo

I'm actually starting a new blog about health and I know for a fact this works. But I will warn you, it will suck.

>change to a 98% vegetable base diet.
No more than 1 meaty meal every two weeks. And it has to be a small portion. Like half a hamburger, kind of small.
>drink only water
You should be doing this anyway because literally everything else has been linked to some kind of disease.
>work out a minimum of 1 hour a day, shoot for 2
Cardio 80% muscle/resistance training 20%
>Walk when you can, don't drive
Got to pick something up from the store 2 blocks down the road? Hoof it.
>eat 1 meal a day
Meal must be less than 1000 calories, and you must be able to burn at least 2000 calories a day. You will be starving the entire time. And it will suck.
>rest 1 day out of every 5 days worked out
Recovery is just as important as the workout.

Mentally and physically you are taking on a tremendous task. But it can be done. I averaged 4 pounds a week by doing this. I work out daily now, and spend 1 day out of those 5 days doing light cardio and that's it. I also do a 2-6 mile bike ride every day after the gym. I lose 20 pounds in less than a month. And I'm working on another 20 pounds this month.

I also don't like meat as much as I used to. Don't go out as much anymore, saving money, and don't waste money on shit that kills me. I haven't had allergy problems or been sick since I changed my diet and started working out, either, where as prior to I was getting sick once a month, easy.

Good luck.

Also, you will need vitamin b12 supplements unless you eat a lot of cheese. Just make sure you aren't going over that 1k calorie count.

>Trip is on 9/1/2017. Im currently 246 lb how the fuck do i lose atleast those 47 lbs? I was 185 when last she saw me
You need to wear the weight with confidence.

Most girls, weight and looks are a small part of the package. Seen guys 50+ overweight fuck hot girls with their attitude and conversation. It is all charm and money. I've also seen a bunch of buff guys with the personality of a rock not get anywhere since they can't hold a conversation beyond "You are hot, let's fuck!"

Another things, most of the "super fit" guys and girls are broke as all hell. They spend so much time working out, they have no time in endeavors that make good bank. Female fitness models are the worst of these. So much time in the gym and blowing money on outfits and makeup.

Workout every day and only eat twice per day. For one meal eat eggs and for the other one eat chicken breast and rice, if you do this and only this you can loose like 25 pounds at max in your time and there is no way you will get to your goal in time, maybe you shouldnt be such a fat piece of shit in the first place

stop eating for the next two months, live on multivitamins and water and your own fat

If you're willing to risk it is very much correct. Outside of surgery meth is the only real drug that will lose that much weight in a short period of time.

Your best bet is to just start a program and stick with it. I'd say you would be able to drop maybe 20 lbs in the one month you have if you just follow a good routine. Don't look one up and follow it to the tee. Just try to build active habits and find a diet that works for you. As another user said, she'll respect dedication more than you starving off 50 lbs. Just try to avoid meat and dairy as main components to your diet and stick with easy to burn carbs like rice and other grain, then try to put a good ammount of vegetable matter into yourself too. Don't worry about losing weight just worry about being a healthier you. If she can't respect that than she's not worth a lot as a person. Getting a decent run in every day and some basic workouts like pushups and squats will do wonders. Also remember to stretch a lot to fully reap the benefits of working out and to avoid injury.

Just wanna point out a few things from what you wrote:

% vegetable diet
His goal is to lose weight, not to become some kind of fitness freak. He probably has no qualms putting the weight back on after he sees this girl. His goal is to lose weight and it can be easily done without going all vegetables

>>Work out minimum 1 hour
No argument there but if his goal is only to lose weight then the diet will suffice. While it's nice to convert stuff to muscle he sounds like he has alot of weight so priority is on things that will help him lose weight fast. Muscle training won't do that.

>>Eat 1 meal a day
Not necesarry. His calorie intake per day to maintain weight is probably somewhere around 3000. If he eats around 2400 every day he will lose weight. 2400 is still alot of calories and he shouldn't be feeling hungry. I weigh 70 and my daily intake to maintain weight is 2600. 1 meal a day means nothing. It's not how many meals a day, it's what you eat in those meals.

OP just do what I said earlier. Only drink water, go for a run in the morning (on an empty stomach so you start burning off fat quicker), refrain from eating anything high in sugar or carbs. That's literally all you need to do until you hit around 85kg. Good luck.

Don't eat anything. Not even kissing, don't eat fucking shit, take multivitamins, and run every fucking day.

*kidding.

Just lift weights twice a week. Go to any gym ance enlist the help of a muscle head. They form packs and love to talk about /fit/

Most importantly eat right.
Second do a lot of cardio (running, swimming, jump rope etc)
Then lift weights to tone up. Do low weight and more reps (12+)

it is possible but u wont enjoy it.

Don't matter i really dont want to look like a fucking loser

you're an idiot. If you start out hardcore you'll injure yourself fast and you'll be out of commission for months. Don't be a pussy. condition yourself. Start eating healthier. Cut out sugars and unnecessary carbs. Drink only water. If thats too hard give up now pussy.

Walk. Walk everywhere. Park further away. Warm up your ligaments and joints. Obviously they haven't moved for shit in years. You can't hop on a treadmill and run 10 minutes. Start now. Get off your fat ass and do some jump squats, push ups, crunches. Any progress is progress.

Eat lean. Chicken is your friend. Buy in bulk. Cook and freeze portions. Start to work on reducing the size of your portions to shrink your stomach. Soon you'll be full with less food.

Theres a lot of good work out plans out there but you need to look for losing weight fast. Those are going to include low weight lots of cardio likely. Do that until your trip, then switch to a power lifting plan like the young arnold beginner plan.

Mate you have the motivation. Just gotta act. If you are on your trip and she sees you meal prepped some half decent food and you give half a fuck about yourself she will notice. You don't have to be a model to get hot bitches. You probably have seen a lot of nerds in the mall with hot girls.

Start the motions: Buy the healthy food, portion, drink water, work out, and cut yourself slack. Your beginning theres going to be bumps in the road. Good luck.

Im just to ashamed man, she actually got all into fitness and right now is looking to me at least perfect. And to show up like i look now i just know that shit is going to disappoint me. But ill try my best this couple of weeks i have

>
you'll be amazed at the change 4 weeks will do if you can actually stick to your guns. It gets hard to make noticable changes months down the road when you plateau.

OP here, thanks user. This hit home

Unless you basically starve yourself the whole month it won't be possible. Even if you lose the weight you'll have all that nasty skin. You'll get fat again anyway because you don't have the drive to be fit that is why you are fat in the first place

>Im just to ashamed man, she actually got all into fitness and right now is looking to me at least perfect. And to show up like i look now i just know that shit is going to disappoint me. But ill try my best this couple of weeks i have
If you honestly feel like that, make some shit up at the last minute and don't show. Let her live with the illusion 'til you get back into shape. Odds are she is fucking someone else now and you don't have much of a chance now.

Going to yosemite? Suh fellow central cal fag

No dude i got fat because i got injured and was and still am pretty much in pain. But at this point fuck it. Got myself a whole jar of tramadol and ima do this shit. I know i cant lose all that weight in 30 days but can i at least look like this

Hey OP, I lost 50 lbs in about 3 months time.

Now, Im gonna be honest with you. You're not gonna lose 47 lbs in a month. Sorry, thats just not happening.

BUT, you can lose 20 lbs. Take it or leave, but you should know that losing 20 lbs in a month is super hard and probably the limit.

Now if you are serious and you want to lose 20 lbs, this is what you do.

Start eating a caloric deficit immediately.

fitwatch.com/calculator/calorie-deficit

Use this calculator and figure out what your daily calorie needs are, and how much you need to eat to be at a deficit. And then, after you find out what your calorie deficit is, you need to make sure you eat like 200 - 300 calories less than that.

That means every day for the next month you need to count your calories and make fucking sure you are not eating more than "your calorie deficit - 200 calories."

Thats the only way you're gonna lose anyway weight. Also make sure you drink a ton of water.

You can realistically, in a months time, get your weight dont to about 220 - 226. But only if you start RIGHT NOW and make sure you do not go over your calories, not even once.

Good luck.

Thanks user. Looks like cutting calories is the only way to go. Is there anything on the market that can genuinely help you recover

I think rather she sees me as a fat fuck than a batshit crazy crack head. Are there functioning meth addicts

unless you have a god tier metabolism youre fucked you idiot

I dont think i have that. What i do have is 12hours a day a shit load of painkillers and motivation. But no fucking execution and i dont want to drop money on a personal trainer

No, it's Trt that he was allowed to have fuck head. Stopping gh isn't the same as stopping test. His testosterone is much lower now, so he has muscle loss.

It depends. What's your bench, deadlift and squat? If the numbers are well enough, you might be able get a pumped look with creatine supplementation.

>i
Go Keto, then go calorie deficit. If you can maintain discipline you'll loose a decent amount of weight in a month.
For exercise, if you have no background in fitness then go for daily long walks, maybe do some hiit. If you do have a background, then you probably know what you need to do.

The real question is, why bother? She friendzoned you in middle school, that's not going to change now.

My bench max is probably 220 last i tried and squad was around 300

I probably cant squat that much no more and deadlift 200+ but i think i have a herniated disk so i laid off that completely

you will most likely get eaten by a bear you fat shit, how can one """relax""" into 110kg? you better off dead

1.get a healthy diet going, nothing to cause you to binge eat too often but eat healthy 97% of the time and eat more then usual
2.walk as much as you can,normal and brisk pace no running no jogging try to get in 10km or more a day, this way you are only burning fat not going catabolic
3.do weights, warm up then go heavy as you can, concentrate on your upper body chest shoulders back with some deads and sqauts if you can safely , the following day rest only doing some trunk stabilizing exercises planks and shit like that.
the idea here is not to lose a lot of weight "which in a month would leave you with loose skin" but to build muscle with heavy lifting which will make you appear bigger this will need most of your energy and recovery hence the walking and trunk stabilizing exercises to pull fat from your body without taking away recovery, remember to eat healthy and more then usual or you will gain no muscle mass
5. as some other dude said tell her a story that you injured yourself doing something fun and got a bit chubby but you've been back in the gym for a week or two and are feeling great again, sell that shit

if you're then the numbers sound good. Creatine bloat will only increase muscle size to the max size you would normally get after a rigorous weightlifting session, so that's something to keep in mind. Follow the instructions on the jar and never take with prescription diuretics.

das weak bro ive gotten up to 150kg in the last few months "with help ; )" chasing some PBS in the gym and its absurd, honestly my legs are getting burned up and cramping doing a 4km walk to work in the morning, maybe two months to go then im gonna have to diet back down to 130ish

Any specific brand of creatine my man? And yeah this is op

normal creatine, you buy it once you have it for ever dont be sold on bullshit just plain creatine

Any brand of creatine monohydrate should do the trick. Stay away from liquid creatine and be sure to drink plenty of water when you're using it.

Thanks user. Overall everyone has been helpful.

You dont have to lose any weight, just say you weighed 300 lbs and see how impressed she is at all the weight you already lost

...

>50 pounds in a month
Amputation aside not fucking possible, sorry fatso. If you ate and worked out at an amazing level it might be possible by February/March.

anorexia

fucking absolute genius

>your

Cut off one of your legs. BOOM weight lost

Actually i was going out with someone so i friendzoned her. I tried to get with her in hs senior year but she was taken at the time. Now i just want to give it a last shot man

water fasting

Eat 5 times a week until then. I lost 85lbs in just over 3 months simply by doing that. If you did it and worked out, you'd prolly lose a good bit more even faster

Like one meal a day?? Maxx calories by meal?

...

Alright, faggot, Imma let you in on the secret:

>find closest to you rugby team or rugby association where you can play and practice with a team
>being a sport made almost entirely of running, the constant cardio and adrenaline will make your body fat burn hotter than a jew in a nazi oven
>if you survive the first training session with your new best bros and you're not a big fucking pussy, you'll get hooked by the adrenaline boost that this glorious sport gives you
>2 weeks into going to the training sessions like if it was your goddamn religion you'll start to see yourself thinner, bitches passing through and recognizing you as a human
>bonus, if you know how to be a man, doing exercise will star to seems more fun than tiresome
>at this point you should start to find a complement for rugby, I suggest calestenics
>Boom. Life fixed, you massive faggot.

Thank me later.

Trip was 6 months ago... you missed it by a mile.

Nope. Just my live with yourself. Those though of loosing weight are way too late. Probably no hope for you at that point. If you weren't motivated before, then you'll never be again. You can't just out of nowhere want to loose the weight for some bitch that ain't gonna fuck you in less then a month. That's why you're fat to begin with. It's your state of mind. Go get gastric bypass surgery, your only hope. She's excited to see you then she's gonna see a morbidly obese neckbeard and be disappointed.

Ya if he's looses too much weight then he'll have all that loose skin flapping around and be even more disgusting.
>ITT: OP is a faggot and fucked

I dropped 25 or so pounds, 11-12 kilos in 6 weeks just by changing my diet with 0% exercise outside of normal. Eat a small breakfast, minimal salad and a little cold meat 2 tines during the day and a couple pieces of fruit for dinner.

>1k calorie
The fuck you talking about user? Stop giving shit info. To loose weight you need a hot metabolism which in turn needs calories to burn to loose the weight. It's where you're getting those calories from, not how much.

Throw a handful of almonds in there for a snack and a piece of fruit. Best advice here.

Wanting to lose 50 pounds in under a month is not a healthy goal, but the best way to do it is just to not eat. After the first few days, you'll hardly even notice you're hungry, and you'll lost around 30lbs during the month.

>Multivitamins
Yea piss you money on vitamins away

Type 1 diabetes would make you thinner, type 2 diabetes usually relies on getting fatter

The only realistic solutions would make you feel like and act like shit around her, which will ruin your chances more than being fat. But for what it's worth:
>Clenbuterol
>DNP
>EPA

In reality I'd start exercising and weight lifting every day consistently. You'll lose a little weight, put on a little muscle and feel and look a little better than you do now in a month which will make you more fun to interact with.

In reality what you'll probably end up doing is eating a lot less for a few days then relapsing and eating more and maybe losing 1 or 2 lbs this month if you're lucky.

protein sparing modified fast - google for the pdf it's like 96 pages long

i lost 13 lbs in 3 weeks doing this.. idk what better advice to give you. you're a fat waste anyways. maybe just kys before you're supposed to meet her

Try everyday.

Make sure you do a lot of sweating

Post pic of body OP
No homo
Need to see actual condition to better give advice

Not him, but OPs pic is on both and you're an idiot.

Rolling for this

Get a better personality

Also the only reason that dude is smaller is because hes not on roids...

...

Do what Vitor did and take TRT

women dont want good bodies as much as they want comfort which means money/a place to live just keep that in mind

It looks like his dude stopped doing steroids

Maybe tell her that and have her help you loose the weight. Then you'll spend a lot of time together working it off. She'll see the results and fall in love with you and fuck your brains out forever. The end

take it slow or you will NEED those pain killers

Im 24 i dont think the doc woukd be up for it

a slow clap for this user

oh so you've got like 0 chance if shes at all on the fence about you. Women dont take well to rejection and unless she is seriously in need of vitamin D you might have fucked yourself.

I'm I gained 15kg+ of muscle and lost 6% bodyfat in 1.5 years in the gym. What worked best for me and what I'd suggest for just 1 month:

Starting Strength - Because you're completely clueless and don't have much time, this is the easiest way to move forward fast as a newb. Skip as much as you can and bump up the weight til you're struggling to perform 5x5, this will save you more time.

While doing that, drop your calories a little and cut out carbs almost completely (50g or less per day). This way you'll also lose a TON of water weight and a little bodyfat in those 28 days.

Be prepared to feel like shit while lifting. Take testosterone and trenbolone if you want to speed both of these up and don't mind sticking yourself.

You're welcome.