How do i lie to three judges?

How do i lie to three judges?
How do i convince them i'm telling the truth, and make them believe me?

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>Tell them something that's not true
>Be good at lying

>>Be good at lying
Help with this step

Swear it for your fidget spinners

Bump

Serious

Whatr you lyin bout fag

Keep saying the lie out loud. Keep thinking of the lie. Picture it happen in your head.

This, good posture, look the judges in the eye, don't scratch!

Why not plead the Fifth instead of perjurer yourself?

Believe it yourself

I'm not in the states.

ye like that one Springfield episode

More or less this
>they professionally deal with lies, be good at it, make it believable

>>they professionally deal with lies, be good at it, make it believable
Exactly, they know how to spot liars, what should i avoid doing?

You'd have to be in fucking North Korea to not be able to use the fifth or the rest of the world's equivalent provisions against incriminating yourself. Hell, even in cuck EU you have it as a part of your fundamental rights.
You don't have to say anything. Make the cops do their homework.

it depends on 2 factors:
1) What is your skin color?
This step determines what your action plan should be.

2) How would you describe the emotion your face conveys to others?
Angry? Serious? Happy? From here you continue step 1 and make it more believable

Good reason then. Memorize your lie. Get used to thinking and saying it without hesitation, rushing, stumbling, etc. Do so until it begins smooth and natural. Get your story straight and say the same thing over and over again. Don't offer more details than you have to.

Trump? What are you doing on Sup Forums?

Kek

underratedpost

I have to talk, i have to back up my previous statements and convince the judges of events that didn't happen ( to me ).

I'm white, i can change my emotions on the fly, even cry if i need to, but i don't look to cry, i'm looking to convince them of a fake story while looking professional and being serious about it.

Thanks,
>Don't offer more details than you have to
What do you mean exactly? isn't more details better?

HA

OK then, make up your story beforehand. Base it on the real story, alter crucial details. Live it through a few times, imagine it, inspect and remember every tiny detail. Believe it as if it really happened. Forget the real story.
When inquired don't provide too much detail at first. Let them question you. Too much detail signifies a lie.
DO NOT make things up as you go, just say that you do not know/remember this particular detail or you're not sure. You should be prepared for all possible lines of inquiry though.
Just go along your rehearsed story. Are there any witnesses? How many? How good?

You are supposed to let a lawyer do that for you. Unless they don't have those in your country then you are fugged.

Avoid:
1. Looking away while lying
2. Raising the pitch of your voice
3. Saying indirect things that indicate you're lying. Like, don't say "I would never do that", say "I did not do that."

...and also this.

tell me what happened and i'll tell you the secret password to get out of it if i like you... go

lawyers only work if you pay them a lot

What is normal for your culture/area for lying? People typically have 'tells' of some sort when they lie, but they can differ widely from region and culture. Have a trusted friend observe you while talking normally and slip so lies in. See if they notice if you twitch of look in a different direction or whatever when you lie. Do this until you know what your tells are. You can then try to control them knowing about them, but that's harder, or you can do them more often, especially when you are telling the truth. As long as they don't know you to well or have enough time to observe you, they would think it was just something you do from time to time, i.e. your normal. If they do try to call you out on something, just chalk it up to being in front of a judge/in court and nervousness.

cry a little
a grown man crying will show you have emotion and help them to relate to you on a core human level

And also try to rehearse your emotions. Imagine your story as if it really happened and try to get as angry/scared as you would normally have. Then, when asked, remember those emotions and describe them a bit. A story without real emotions is a clear see-through lie.

Just Remeber Jerry...

bro tell us everything in detail and we will help you come up with a lie / defense

>What do you mean exactly? isn't more details better?

NO! The more details you give, the more they can try to trip you up in a lie and the more you have to remember to keep your lie and story the same. You do want some details, but make them unrelated to whatever you are lying about. Or if they push you, claim you don't remember or that it the best you can remember. But try to let them be the ones to ask for the details, as opposed to you offering them up. Male them work for trying to bust you, don't bust yourself by being caught in a lie.

just tell us the fucking story. are you an opiod addict? did you accidentally help someone over dose? what's the fucking story buddy

>3.
Is a really interesting topic.

Trying to distance yourself is usually a lie:
>I never had sex with Monica
>I never had sex with that woman

Trying to overly convince because you're expecting them not to believe you:
>Everyone knows that
>What i said is true because..

Ironically giving specifics to information usually indicates truth, or that the person believes it's true:
>Ask sally, she was there
>We can google the news article together

Thanks, i'll take this into account, one thing i don't understand is the detail bit, you say i should not give away too much detail, should i give the details after being asked a question or how does it go?

I should remember every little detail but only give it if i will be asked?

For example : "|i was blindfolded and dragged, i knew when i entered a building because i was barefoot, i felt the sand between my toes and felt the concrete"
I should only talk about the barefoot part and the sand between the toes if they ask me HOW i knew i entered a building?

Thank you.

Any thing to help me calm down?
Or are stressed emotions good thing when talking in front of a judge?

Watch resorvoir dogs and do it like tim roth. Srsly. It will be your story. Repeat it,get detailes, live it. On a methaphysic level,everything you imagine is real.so you are not lying at all.

don't be a little bitch tell us the story nigga unless they are charging you with murder they probably aren't wire tapping you

>isn't more details better?
This is where most amateur liars fail. They create a story so full of details that no one telling the truth would remember that it becomes obvious. Plus, liars tend to ramble on to avoid being questioned.

Telling the truth means not knowing every detail, sometimes struggling to recall things. Take it slow, let them interrupt and ask questions without you becoming flustered. If you don't know the answer and can't make one up, just tell them you don't know or can't remember.

Also believe in the lie. That confidence goes a long way

Alright, thanks a lot.

I'm looking forward to talking confidently, backing up my statements with reports available on the web etc.. thank you.
Any tips on how to talk?
I heard that palms open usually mean talking the truth, or are those just gimmicks.

>Any thing to help me calm down?
What do you normally do to calm down when your stressed? Try to do that if possible. Take deep, long breaths, and try to relax as much as possible without seeming cavalier about the whole thing.

>Or are stressed emotions good thing when talking in front of a judge?

It can depend. Don't lose control or get angry with the judge. Pissing off a judge will guarantee you have a bad time, innocent or not. You don't want to bee too emotional, but if an emotion would be appropriate for your lie/story, express it in some manner. Be humble and somewhat subdued. If you have never been in this kind of situation, use that to your advantage. Say that this is a somewhat stressful situation and you are tying to make the best of it.

what do you have to lie about in court?

look i don't know how much time you have, but if you have a lot of time do this.
delete windows install linux use a proxy and come back to Sup Forums when you are ready to spill the beans. how do you tell a good fucking lie and get a good defense? well you ask the smartest people on the mother fucking planet. which i'm pretty sure is us... otherwise come up with your own shitty lie and stick to it no matter how crazy you look because maybe they will think you are insane for believing it even tho it's retarded

>Any thing to help me calm down?
Taking a beta blocker wouldn't hurt, if you have any available.

Don't take too long to answer questions. It looks like you are making up a lie the longer it takes you to answer. Also don't answer right away, otherwise it will looked rehearsed, again lying. Take a breath. Even simple yes or no questions, don't just answer immediately. If you do need to buy for time on a question or two, ask them to repeat the question. Do not use this more then a couple times.

>lie well

I thought about taking xanax but drugs might alter my memory, i'm usually anxious but i don't think it's going to be a problem.

As i said i'm looking to be speaking confidently,not shouting or anything but on point, enough to convey my point and show that i mean business, that i'm not lying and again that i'm confident, or is the humble more "new to this" approach is better?

The longer i take to answer a question the better?
Other people saying i should answer directly as to not make them believe i'm making a lie on the spot.

what did OP do?

Wew so many liars

Since you're not in the US, what country are you having this happen in OP? Knowing a bit more about the laws and court regulations that you would be facing would help us give you better advice. What is the burden of proof needed to fuck you over? Are you already presumed guilty until proven innocent? Etc.

France, i'm a Russian seeking asylum, persecution by the army, the story is true but i do need to alter some details, basically i have to prove and answer questions about my situation and how i was persecuted.

Samefag

OP dided

>I thought about taking xanax but drugs might alter my memory

Do you usually take Xanax? Do you have a prescription for it? If so, use it and make that a matter of record for the court. Especially if it can mess with your memory. Use that as a defense for why you don't remember when you need to lie.

>that i'm confident, or is the humble more "new to this" approach is better?

Try both and see which one is more natural for you and fits your personality and style better. If you are normally a Chad, continue to be a Chad; likewise, if you are normally a beta, continue to be a beta.

>The longer i take to answer a question the better?

No. Read what I wrote again carefully. Do not take too long to answer a question, but don't answer too quickly. Do rehearse your answers, especially your lies, but don't spout them off as soon as the question is asked. Like I said, take a breath, make it seem natural and smooth, before you answer.

Dubs.
Nice.

Try again summerfag.

Ok thanks, I should look as I try and go through my memories when answering and not a pre written book.

this guy gets it
also just believe the lie eventually it'll become the truth my dude

When you tell the truth... act like it's a lie... so when you lie you'll look the same and they'll believe you.

what type of circumstantial trace and documentary evidence are you trying to go against?

I wouldn't even mention being barefoot. Just that you were dragged into a building. Let them ask "how did you know", and even then, barefoot and sand/concrete is such a strange detail, I think everyone "knows" when they enter a building - it sounds, smells and feels different, there's no sunlight, wind, etc. As a last resort, I would mention that i noticed that the ground surface has changed. And when they ask why that's when I'd tell them I was barefoot.

If this is OP

don't listen to you have to literally cry to win an asylum case, no point in being a "chad" or a "beta"
asylum case is something else completely.

What happened OP?

This guy lies.

seconded.

No, just tell them you're nervous. That's normal. Try to take "normal" amount of time to reply, ask clarifying questions, etc. Answering too quickly looks rehearsed; too slowly and you look like you're making it up on the spot.
DO NOT MAKE ANYTHING UP on the spot. Do not ramble, do not describe every minute detail. When asked, answer just to explain "the gist" of what happened. They will ask more and you will provide more detail based on those questions. Do not try to be overly verbose.

This guy gets it. Listen to him, unless you are pic related fucker.

Op reply so we can help you better.

>When asked, answer just to explain "the gist" of what happened

Again all fine and games, but this depends on the situation OP is in, if what user claimed is right this won't work in asylum seeking, he needs more than a lie to convince the authorities of danger.

He NEEDS to answer on the spot, with every single detail.

Do this OP, look at the cup the judge drink, remember KOBAYASHI.

yeah, but just because I find it fascinating to try and unravel all the lies around me (so I have to try it myself). Btw also love to watch related TV series like Lie to me etc.

What are dead giveaways a person lies?
I know that when you lie you have a instinct to scratch / cover your mouth, eye, or ears, is it legit?

Whats the difference between asylum and lying to judges?
You still tell a story lmao

source?

one off

Some people definitely do. Almost everyone looks away and breaks eye contact. Most people turn up their eyes when making something up - protip: it doesn't look like that when "you're trying to remember". It looks like that though when you're trying to guess.
Also a good lie indicator is when someone vehemently denies or states something. When you're telling the truth you don't need to persuade anyone.
In your case though you maybe should play up a bit. Show emotions, show fear. Try to make yourself cry. Pause for a bit when describing any violent or really intense moments, like you're temporarily lost for words. Combine with tears when appropriate:-).
Do not be afraid to describe your emotions, but again, do not overdo it. Just say you were very afraid at that specific moment a briefly explain why, what did you fear... etc.

>Some people definitely do. Almost everyone looks away and breaks eye contact. Most people turn up their eyes when making something up - protip: it doesn't look like that when "you're trying to remember". It looks like that though when you're trying to guess.

So strong eye piercing contact is best while talking to judge?

>Also a good lie indicator is when someone vehemently denies or states something. When you're telling the truth you don't need to persuade anyone.

You're trying to convey a point, what do you mean by you don't need to persuade anyone?

>In your case though you maybe should play up a bit. Show emotions, show fear. Try to make yourself cry. Pause for a bit when describing any violent or really intense moments, like you're temporarily lost for words. Combine with tears when appropriate:-).

Good idea, when talk about interrogations or beatings pause, wait, explain briefly.

>Do not be afraid to describe your emotions, but again, do not overdo it. Just say you were very afraid at that specific moment a briefly explain why, what did you fear... etc.

Details might be forgotten, but emotions won't, emotions convey the most honest statements, if you can replicate the same emotions from when something bad happened to you, they'll see it and trust you.

I'll also add a tip for making yourself cry. What works for me is to remember a very sad childhood event or something really fucked up (e.g. a true story about animal abuse etc.). Search your memories and try to find something like that that will make you cry.

Just think about the fact that you're still a virgin

No, strong eye-piercing contact looks either dishonest or rehearsed. No one ever maintains strong eye contact for long. Just try to normally maintain eye contact with all the judges, one at a time.
Also you are trying to convey the feeling of fear, guilt, emasculation, so do not be afraid to look down to the ground or "far off" when describing something "really horrible" from your story.

So when talking about bad experiences i should look down instead of maintain eye contact?
Should i smile at all?
Not the it's funny smile but more of a "i so tired of this shit i don't even know what to do anymore" smile.

like this
youtube.com/watch?v=YKd2j1hGngg&feature=youtu.be&t=2038

Bump

this is nice

I feel like people are either a good liar or they're not and there's no way to change it. The fact that you're asking for advice means you're probably gonna get caught

Someone who was tortured doesn't maintain eye contact for long. Imagine, for example, how a woman who was raped would behave during police deposition. You are NOT that close to the bad things that "happened" to you, so be a bit more distant, you may even smile a bit, but that's your "tired but happy but nervous" smile. As you gradually get into your story (the one you rehearsed several times, went over in your head and believed yourself in the end), let your mood slip with the experiences you are describing.

Well in the video the kid was granted asylum eventually, he kept eye contact but he did look far off and looked down while talking about what happened to him, while talking about drinking toilet water he laughed and looked 'innocent" does this convey honesty?

bumping coral kreuzf

What mood can you slip in?

ofc there is lol

don't tell them any more than your original statement. Don't add to it, but you can remove smaller less important parts of it which would imply your working from that memory instead of a rotary learned statement.

We don't remember specific details unless we're practised in the subject area(such as a prepared lie) or deliberately paying obsessive attention.

Ultimately in order to coach you here, we need to know more about the event your giving evidence on, what went down and what you want the judges to believe went down.

OP seeking asylum, military persecution if i'm not mistaken, beaten, kidnapped, blindfolded etc..

This is good, we remember emotions more than anything, keep that in mind.

bumping

This is OP?

^^this user said it all.
Pay the money. Other than small claims, you do not want to represent yourself.

I have to talk, lawyer won't do anything, i talk about my own story.

Judges look for body language.
Arms crossed, fidgeting, looking around.
Google body language...read son
Stand straight with your arms behind you
Look them straight in the eye the whole time. and dont blink or look around when you talk.
Don't wear a fucking suit and tie a judge can see right thru that. Nice jeans and a decent shirt. If you're a doper he'll know it he's seen millions. Some times you're better off to just admit it, depending on the severity / charge / how much evidence against you etc...Yes admitting it is usually bad advice but if they have you dead to rights at least by admitting it you gain some respect and honesty. I always chose to just do the time...you get on paper and your PO will constantly be on your ass for years. Fuck it do 3 months and be done