feels thread
Well Sup Forums, it's getting to that time again. I've been off and on this board for a while now. From when I was young and carefree, perhaps way too young for the board, to now. A lot has changed. I'd like to say for the better but I'm afraid that might not be the case. As I'm typing this, maybe I'm being swept up in a moment of emotion but I've given this feeling about two years to subside now and I fear I'm going to have to be the one to back down.
Life is all about what drives us. What urges us forward. What pushes us on. Whether we find our true love and live out our days with them or we have a passion in a hobby that leaves us feeling fulfilled. Some of us seek the end-game in their other half. Some of us seek it in doing what they enjoy most. For some of us, what I'd like to think is a rare handful, the fire just fizzles out.
I used to enjoy what I do. I'm probably young compared to a lot of you out there reading this. I'm twenty years old. Barely past my teenage years although forced to live the life of an adult in Britain for a bit longer than I'd have liked. It's the usual cliche: Someone forced to grow up too fast and struggling to do so. Yet, it's all too true. For a while now I've been thinking how much I'd prefer to just not wake up. It started as an almost scientific curiosity. Wondering what happens after. Surely there must be something? It all can't just end? Can we truly fathom what complete nothingness is? Of course, I know the answer. Or at least, I think I do. I know nothing happens after. It can't possibly. All of our humanity; our memories, our experiences, our emotions. They can all be summed up as just chemical reactions. Nothing more. I've never been the spiritual type. I wish I had the faith to be one, though.