Anyone else mindfucked about how blazing fast human development is?

Anyone else mindfucked about how blazing fast human development is?

>Be god
>Time passes differently for you
>Created life from the primordial ooze about 100 years ago
>Had to work a looong time before anything cool happened
>Developed sexual reproduction 31 years ago and shit finally took off
>You were giddy when you coaxed land life into developing mega fauna
>A little under two years ago, you really fucked up
>"Now for the next epoch, we just need a little hint of- OH FUCK!"
>Chicxulub meteor really set shit back
>You killed all the dinosaurs. All of them.
>Pretty bummed out
>The rats are really taking off without the competition though
>Month and a half ago, you were able to tweak mammals into cool things like Mammoths and Rhinos
>You got your mega fauna back!
>Shockingly, these weak little bipeds can kill them as of a few days ago.
>They sharpen sticks and shit.
>Fuck ARE these things?
>Going through the code, you see that the "Ape" side project you started 8 months ago has gotten... weird.
>Some strains have become misshapen, and they've really spread out.
>At about 9am yesterday morning, you noticed them wearing the skins of furrier creatures
>"That's new."
>They're living in places they really weren't meant for
>Watch fascinated
>As they multiply, they really start doing a number on your mega fauna.
>Like, they're really good at it.
>Running whole herds of mammoths off cliffs and shit
>Shake your head. "That's just not right."
>Around midnight, before you go to bed, program the Toba supervolcano to go off early tomorrow morning.
>The resulting global winter will cause your beloved mega fauna to suffer, but they're pretty hearty.
>They'll make it.
>These hairless aberrations will get wiped out though.
>Next morning, roll out of bed
>Scratch your ass
>Make some coffee
>As you view the earth, you go to take your first sip

>And freeze
>"Wow"
>They bounced back.
>They're even better.
>They carved patterns and designs into rocks thus inventing art.
>An hour and a half later, they've made bows
>By 3:30 in the afternoon, you notice them in Australia and Polynesia.
>"Now how the fuck?"
>Little fuckers can cross oceans.
>Other ones elsewhere are making paint and drawing what they see.
>At a quarter past 8, you notice that the Woolly Rhinoceros just got wiped out.
>Mammoths are really suffering too.
>"Uh..."
>With the ice age receding, they are really multiplying.
>A little over two hours ago, they figured out farming.
>Population picks up faster
>Towns and cities dot large swaths of the earth
>Mammoths almost all gone.
>Elephants, hippos, and a handful of other mega fauna are all you've got left.
>An hour ago, they started building some really impressive colonies along the Nile and the Indus rivers.
>They've picked up writing and record keeping.
>They've enslaved vast herds of animals
>45 minutes ago, they all have iron tools and weapons.
>Keep growing.
>More cities.
>Nations.
>20 minutes ago, think to check their population.
>Punch in the numbers. "Oh, shit!"
>400 fucking million of the fuckers!
>They have radically displaced other fauna.
>Ugh. You hate doing this, but it's time.
>You unleash the black death.
>Barely a speed bump.
>You're starting to panic now.
>Five minutes after the plague, their population has doubled.
>Two minutes later, it doubled again.
>A minute and a half ago, they finally figure out germs and how to kill them.
>Shit. Blows. Up.

>The last minute and change has seen an average of 60 million new humans a second.
>Whole swaths of species are wiped out.
>The whales are almost all gone.
>The fucking whales!
>Almost all mammilian biomass is now humans or animals owned by humans.
>You barely have time to register that they can leave their planet's atmosphere now, and have been doing so for about the last 45 seconds.
>You check on how soon you can plunge the earth into another ice age.
>All the coal and other shit they've burned for the last four minutes and change put the kibosh on that.
>How did it all get away so quickly!?
Present day

>You watch helplessly as they colonize the entire system.
>Over the next couple of hours, they strip Mercury, Venus, and Mars of material
>They construct a massive Dyson ring around the sun, home to 40 Trillion humans.
>Earth is largely evacuated and designated a nature preserve
>The planet has been scarred
>You sit their stunned
>Hours go by
>The continent spanning mega cities, now empty, begin to erode and crumble
>You go to bed, dazed.
>You wake up the next morning feeling numb.
>You force yourself to look at earth.
>Pretty green, actually.
>Almost all human structure has faded into dust.
>Find artifacts here and there. A dam, Mt. Rushmore, nuclear dump sites.
>Almost all large animals are gone.
>Birds are doing pretty good though.
>They've kinda been in the background for a couple years, but you always did like birds.
>With some subtle tweaks, you begin again.

>god
stopped reading there

I better get some fucking (you)s, god dammit.

Merely a device. Keep reading.

edgy faggot go take a nap

this thread

>hating edgy faggots
>being on Sup Forums
why?

thanks fam tbh

Cool

Its quite nice OP. Good job man

imo i think aliens where involved somehow giving the idea for electricity and other important discoveries.
Human beings wouldn't be able to create this on their own just like that without guidance or idea planted.

...

Someone cap this?

you

I liked it. Mind the 'tisms here. Have some (you)s for your C+P

Wait, did we stop filtering those?

Forgot to mention te part when they jerked off to lloli, scat and trap porn

So after reading this, do you think tjis is the reason why God has abandon us. We have been unknowingly defying him by advancing our own technology.

>Failure to mention Jesus makes think OP is jewish

Not bad, really goes to show how far we have came and how far we have to go. Either way we will make it.

OP here. People have trouble thinking in terms of numbers with lots of zeros behind them. I used the "god" character to put the history of life on a more relatable timeline to emphasize just how phenomenally fast human development has been since the paleolithic era.

Also, I'm Unitarian.

Last shameless self bump.

Well, I for one liked your greentexts, good job OP. :) This amazes me as well. But there's nothing to discuss here, is there? It's just the way it is.

(You) deserve a (You)
That was cool
Maybe you could've gone further with the whole "God's losing its shit" and "as they progress they're not even thinking about me, I'm feeling weak, like I'm a mere observer now"
But still, nice

I suppose you're right.
Thanks

reminds me of this old thing

What do you think will kill all life first? The impending red giant or the cooling of the earth's mantle and death of the magnetosphere?

fuck idk

I liked reading that OP. However, that's just one possibility.. we might end up achieving the best ending, this time around. We just need to think about it, and always try to improve. I'm sure as hell going to play my part in having our future be the right one.

The Tower will fall before all that and a nigger gunslinger won't be able to do anything.

Well, enough nuclear detonations could strip away the ozone layer in many hot flashes, and all the cosmic radiation will bathe the planet.

>God

user, pls . . .

The time-scaling's a bit confusing at first, but I like it a lot. Call it
>Life in the Past Couple of Months

Fuck what others think. Good thread OP. I really enjoyed the greentext.

An idea planted... Hmm.. where could the idea of electricity have come from?

How about out of the fucking sky, moron.

Thank you for this user

Beautiful work, OP
You almost weren't a faggot today

aliens come from the sky

But who told the aliens? Infinite regression baby.

This was a great post bitch. Excited for the next one

Pretty good read user.

One screencap, coming riiiiiight up!

Good story

You
You
You
You
Earned all of them

Thanks, user. I look forward to seeing this resurface in some thread a couple years from now.

Thanks for everyone that took the time to read my shit.

HERE OP ;)

WTF

We will inevitably caise a nuclear wonter or zombie apocolypse.

We been fucking up from day 1.

Thats why god hates us.

LOL. Used to LOVE this local bilboard. Said "go fly a kite" with lightning and franklin flying a kite. Didnt he get zapped doing that shit?

Fuck. I just spent 20 minutes copypaste. Kek. Ty

PUT ME IN THE SCREENCAP

You sound terrible

Thanks for the read, OP
God Bless.