How to fuck your toilet

How to fuck your toilet.
by user.
This is something I have been doing since I was 14.
Make sure your toilet is clean!

I think I was drawn into this as a teen because moving my hand up and down was getting boring and I wanted to fuck something. The toilet is in the bathroom which you are normally in alone, you can run the shower to hide the sounds, and it feels good.

What you need.
Ace bandage (no one even expects)/towel
sandwich bag
lube of choice

how to

>unwrap ace bandage(no one suspects it)
>open sandwich bag
>put your dick in it
>wrap ace bandage around to tightness level wanted
>take dick out put lube you want in (i prefer shaving cream, thick, creamy, and can be pushed hard on without hurting *will explain in sec*)
>open toilet lid
>put ace bandage dick in between seat and lid
>close the lid
>depending on how hard you want to hump/if your toilet rocks you will need to push down on lid to stabilize it/control pressure on dick
>if wanted place phone on toilet tank with porn video

As you pump the friction warms up the lube and ace bandage insulates, so it's not cold.

I prefer to do this before a shower with the water running so no one can hear. Because I don't want to spend too long in the bathroom I press down hard on the lid so the toilet doesn't rock, Hence why I like shaving cream.

If you live your parents hide the plastic bag when you throw it away.
PLEASE CLEAN YOUR TOILET!

>didnt bother to take pics

>How to fuck your toilet.
b/
Where humanity goes to die.

put me in the screencap

Dude up your game and put the end of the toilet seat into your ass

you could get a fake ass bro there like 40$

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c u goys on leddit

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Or get real ass, i mean that's always a option.

put me in the screenshot sideways in lower middle

Op. Sort yourself out. and put me in the screen shot

123142
Speechless

don't worry bois I'll edit this and post on deddit

im in a committed relationship with the couch. it might get jealous.

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Toilet fucker/10

put me in the bottom left corner of screenshot.

A real man hits that shit raw

>that dick on the right
wtf mate

10/10

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>hence why
I can respect a toilet fucker but not someone with poor grammar.

i sexually identify as a toilet fucker

>How to fuck your toilet

>How to fuck your toilet
>Mfw a fucking toilet gets more action than me

Bottom right. This is some true Chaotic Evil shit, Sup Forumsrothers.

10/10 will try tonight. godspeed user

Why fuck your toilet when you can have sex with your sister?

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is that a fucking penis?

yes, a girl penis

Get fucking real, that's some lawful good shit. Chaotic evil would rape a cat, that's old Sup Forums don't make light of the monstrosity this place used to be.

Fucking kek

Aren't you that guy that shot up a convenience store?

I saw a guy fuck ornamental fish earlier today, he even stuck one up his arse and now I'm wondering how it's not the weirdest thing I've seen on here today.

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Thanks OP, I thought I was the only one who did this.

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holy shit. Thanks user!

Original fag here. I probably post once a month or less but this is worthy. Op this is pretty pathetic even for Sup Forums, good job.

Put me in top right

Kek
Want to be in te screenshot too

this isn't even weird or bad, normalfag

is that poop or a chick with a dick? I am confused

also put me in the screen shot pls

POST THE SCREENSHOT IN THIS THREAD IF YOU HAVE MADE IT PLOX

when your toilet is your waifu please just end your life-u

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jones warrens chess club fuk

this

>this needs to end

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screenshot done already too late faggot

put me in screencap pls

post it fag
>i need upboates on plebbit

You need Jesus.

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fixed the bottom right guy

I love how you thought "no one suspects it" needed to be said twice in your post

wait i fucked up again but i fixed it

too long didn't read why does everyone want to be in the screen shot any way

add me faggots

All the posts but mine? Fucker

which one

>>>/reddit
Fuck off reddit trash

shit aint nearly funny enough for a screen cap you fucking normie loser

If your toilet rocks then the wax seal is probably broken and you need to fix it before the water damages your floor.

Here's an excellent idea:
>purchase fleshlight
>purchase black dildo
>insert black dildo into fleshlight
simulate being cucked by a nigger cock you pathetic piece of shit.

I even got dubs

you weren't fast enough or funny enough

I tried something pretty amazing yesterday

>try to edge your shit
>jerk of at same time
>when starting to cum push shit out

Will produce a very strong orgasm, be aware you might loose concioucnes if you push shit to hard out but it feels nice

I posted a lot earlier than the others that were included
>not funny
Nothing funny about this thread at all.

>why does everyone want to be in the screen shot any way
Because samefagging

This is madness and needs to be hidden for the sake of society.

don't put people who ask to be in the screencap in the screencap you dickhead.

OP you're a faggot and your gay faggot trap webm and toilet fetish proves it

thats hot i wanna try it

Hahaha, you just made my day op
This is why I still lurk

damn son

Saving the thread by predicting my post number

Do you put shaving cream inside of the baggie our just outside?

IS THAT A FUCKING DICK ON THE GIRL ON THE RIGHT

>fucking a toilet
>Thinks running a shower stops the noise

Sure as shit looks like one.

Yup, that's a dick

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