Drunk american postman here

Drunk american postman here.

Ask me whatever fucked up shit you want.

Do mailmen deliver their own mail? Or is there a neverending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen?

I deliver to my own house occasionally since I deliver in the same city, but the regular carrier usually takes care of that unless it's packages which I get a day early.

...

Drunk, bored, and willing to reveal whatever secrets of the government entity I happen to be employed by.

Never used reddit in my life actually.

I know this reference.
Do house wives ever try and seduce you?

Opinions on fedex?

Want some?

It rained today and this one 8/10 housewife I chat to occasionally grabbed her mail per usual, and she mentioned how wet she was, but that was the extent of it so far.

Only odd thing was seeing one of the female's on the route roaming around the house with only panties on, but only a split second thing as she was going from bathroom to bedroom.

Have only dealt with them once or twice, but they're alright......

Odd thing is that my brother works for UPS and we bullshit about it from time to time. Basically all deliver services suck fucking dicks.

Why do you only shave your left goose egg?

Didn't descend as a child and had to have surgery on it, so i have to shave to make sure the sutures stay clean.

For a look, sure, but not for a throw.

want to look at more?

What would you consider the perks of your job

I wouldn't mind at all.

What Zip Code would these be in?

The only real perk is getting paid to work out and not have some form of management over your shoulder every minute. The hours tend to suck and when you show competency of any kind, you're given more work to do, but being fit and getting outside is much better than hanging out in a cubicle all day. (At least for me.)

Do those milk jugs hail from??

I haven't the slightest clue....

PA. Harrisburg

What are you drinking?

Sake and PBR.

I fucking love some rice wine and I bought the PBR to keep me calm while I work on the car, but I never made it to the packie tonight, so I just drank it all.

I've driven past there, but I'm at least 1500 miles away.

I do love some MILF tits though.

What else you want to see?

Shoe on head or asshole.

I'll leave the decision to you.

What are some secrets/tips/etc?

Ever open someones mail?

...

Jesus you are sad and desperate. How many threads will you post her in and get told to fuck off?
What kind of car? What are you working on?

Tips to delivering the mail....

If it's not your route, don't worry about names.
If it is your route, don't worry about standard/third class mail. Both of those slow you down too damn much that you tend to be borderline useless.

I have never opened up mail, but I have read the occasional post card or letter.

I'm working on a 1987 Porsche 944. Had it for 3 years and have been fixing all the bullshit the previous owner has fucked up. has been a long ass process.

Interesting. How old are you? Married? Gf? Kids?

Gay Ass Fuck, You want a date, bet you just love a man in uniform

Just turned 30, am married, and the wife has an 8 y/o, no kids of my own semen.

What happened to your helicopter?

Where did the Milf go ?

Apparently didn't entertain her enough, so she left?

Your insecurity is showing user.
When do you get to retire? Do you dislike or like any houses, businesses or people you deliver to for obscure or not obvious reasons?

Ever just say "fuck it" and toss mail in the trash?

Fuck,I think the Merry Mailman could have got her to show some pussy. She looks like she has a noce tight little body on her

I get to retire at 55 and there are a couple houses I can't fucking handle because I have an odd aversion to old people and jump scares. I know of two houses I refuse to deliver to because the dog jumps on the door or one has a cat that will scratch your hands if you put your hand too far in the slot. Fuck them in the pee holes.

Yes, but not in the way you think.... Third class or standard mail doesn't get forwarded or handled twice for almost any reason, so if it is missorted or misdelivered, I will toss that in a heartbeat.

I haven't tossed a tray of mail or any junk mail in a dumpster yet.

Cops ever have to investigate your place of work? Weirdest thing youve seen get mailed?

That's not really an asshole shot.

Please try harder?

Ever steal any mail or know of any co-workers who have?

Weirdest things are cremated remains and bees and I have had the postal inspectors involved with a mail theft situation with a outgoing mail box in a very well to do neighborhood using a fly swatter and rubber cement.

How reliable is the Grumman LLV? and have you ever witnessed a crime?

Do you have radio in your vehicle? What do you listen to while you deliver mail?

Yes to coworkers and I have only taken free pizza coupons from Papa Johns from vacant houses.

Ever had any packages come open containing porn or sex toys? If so, do you just deliver them that way or tape them up or something?

I love an LLV over an FFV because I can fix a carb engine on the fly more often than not and they run forever. As for crimes, I have seen people arrested for domestics, people OD on heroin, and too many drunk mother fuckers to count.

Oh yeah, your a Gayboy

No radio, but I use headphones.

A lot of Tom Waits, The Unseen and some random dance music lately with a few podcasts for fantasy football mixed in.

>your

Honestly, I can't remember any off the top of my head. I've heard some great stories of a swinger's club that orders all sorts of sexual items and tells the male drivers to drop it in the back room while trying to seduce them, but nothing ever happen for me.

>fantasy football
Please tell me you're not stupid enough to pay?

Thanks OP you've been rather forthcoming. I'm out of questions.

To pay to listen? Fuck no. I only use free shit just to break up the music as it gets kinda boing listening to beats for 10 hours a day.

I play in a few random leagues and one with close friends for some cash, but it's always for fun.

Ever had to call the cops on anyone?

No problem. Carrying mail is the most thankless job I think I've ever had, but it pays the bills until I can find something more suitable whether it is in the post office in general or outside entirely.

Actually yes.

I had some dumb motherfucker back a trailer into the side of my truck when I was delivering to a mailbox on a fairly busy throughfare. No major damage but had to do the full report....

PO, what's the pay like/job requirements?

OP mother fucker.

The pay to start is 16.06 current with a 2.06% raise coming as soon as the new contract is ratified with .50 raises at 90 days and 40 weeks about.... The hours vary from office to office, but I usually work 10 hours a day for 6 days a week currently.

>OP mother fucker.
Yeah I didn't want to fuck with deleting the post... so yeah.
Need anything beyond a high school diploma?

Forgot to add that requirements are background check, a test to check memory and understanding of street numbering systems (nothing crazy), and a drug test.

Bro I'm a CCA this shit sucks.

Nope, high school diploma or equivalent is all you need. I have a college education in English and a background in automotive which helped, but is in no means necessary.

Who insures USPS trucks anyways? Is it like the police where the city will pay if you're at fault for the accident?
No CDL? Is there anything to gain if you have a CDL for the USPS? And how old do you have to be to drive as a mailman

Me too, I did a stint in MA before moving back to my home state CO, so I've done this shit twice... If you have any questions from a seasoned CCA, feel free and I'll give you all the info you need.

do you ever get the urge to plan elaborate robberies on the houses you frequent? if you work 60 hours a week do you get overtime?

18 is as old as you need to be, a CDL allows you to drive the bigger shit for cross country ground delivery from factory to factory, and the postal service has their own insurance. Vehicles have numbers and no plates, everything is taken care of by the post office (lawyers, body shop, etc.) if shit goes down.

Anything over 40 hours is pays 1.5 hours
Over 56 pays double.

I've never had that urge, but some carriers have and use vacations as a great time to do the deed. Problem is they usually get caught in a fucking hurry, so I choose to stay away from that shit.

How do I not hate my job. Jk I'm gonna quit the second I find something else. Post office is gonna be gone in our lifetime anyways.

Do you have one of those light blue t-shirts that says "member: postal gun club"?

Nope, I'm not a gun person; never need to hunt anything, can handle myself in a scrap, so no thanks.

So I got this female coworker right? She and I get on great we talk about nerdy stuff frequently and she frequently goes on about how much she loves that I am around to talk about these things with her. When she is very happy or sometimes just for no reason at all she will tackle hug me, almost knocking me off my feet. We go out drinking most Fridays with other coworkers and regularly visit the movies together just the two of us. When she is really drunk she gets much more lovey with everyone but this last Friday she drunkenly repeated she loves me. Obviously this can't be taken at face value since she was drunk and even if it can I am not sure what kind of love she meant. Afterwards whispering in my ear self-consciously that she thinks out coworkers think we were going to fuck on the way home.

Most people would read this and say she is obviously DTF and that I am a pussy and should fucking go for it. However, when the topic of relationships come up, she says she is not really ready for one and is fine with her life as it is right now. I never asked if she wanted to get into one with me, it just came up in conversation. Indeed, I am reserved as fuck and have a hell of a time striking up conversation with women in general. I have told her this much during one such conversation with her mentioning my hang-ups with initiating conversation or any sort of intimacy. So she knows that I likely won’t be the one to start up anything. Granted, this conversation may have been had when we were both drunk another time, so I am not sure she quite remembers it. In addition to this she is also bisexual and has been on a bit of a lesbian streak recently.

I'm not terrible looking. I have just never been good with human interaction. I was really making peace with that before she showed up. I do truly value her as a friend so I don't want to fuck any of that up, especially when we both have to work together. I guess my question is, what the fuck should I do?

If it was me personally, I would actively pursue the situation in a gentle manner (i.e. not trying to fuck right away, telling your feelings, talking instead of trying to smash) and see where it goes. If she's hesitant, back off and you still have the friendship. If she responds positively, then you have a girlfriend or fuck buddy. It's all about the approach.

Have you ever heard of any letter carriers who were paid to "accidentally" deliver checks to the wrong address?

Not paid, but there have been instances of carriers not giving two shits and handing out checks to whomever... A buddies' mother used to do that with social security checks and in a spanish neighborhood and the guy would rattle off some common last names and walk with a dozen checks.

Had a check of mine delivered to some sketchy telemarketing guy down the hall once (where I was working) and the fucker went and had someone cash it for him, so I suspected subterfuge. The mail police descended like the fist of god though, so that was good.

Postal inspectors don't fuck around at all.

They are the KGB of the united states police force; a bunch of spooks out there quietly going about their business.