What is the most perverted thing you have ever done?
Here's mine: >Work at public swimming pool >Mix chemicals, fix shit, clean change rooms, etc >Always last to leave as I have to clean change rooms >Cleaning women's room, picking up trash, and putting forgotten clothing in lost & found >Pic up crumbled bundled of cloth >Realize it is a lacy black throng >Get horny looking at it knowing it was up some girls ass >Wrap it around my dick and jerk off >Ejaculate, admire load, throw thong in garbage >Next day working >Hear woman talking at front desk >Asking to look in lost & found for her daughter's clothes as she left with friends and didn't change out of her swim suit yesterday >Poke head around corner to see hot teenage daughter whose thong I frosted with my jizz >See 10 year old girl >shame.jpg
Ryder Wood
Bump
Grayson Martin
Damn prostitots
Dominic Peterson
>Live in small town with some sort of Catholic shrine nearby >Get lots of weird religious people coming in to diner where I worked because of it >One of them leaves a bottle of holy lotion that you're supposed to rub on ailments instead of a tip >We roll our eyes and put it behind the counter >After work I remember it and decide to take it home because the bottle was cool >It was glass, spiraled like a sea shell >The more I look at it the more it looks like a buttplug >Mastrubate with holy lotion bottle up my ass that night
Cameron Carter
I'm gonna bump this one for potential. You guys make me laugh and I will dish my stories.
Carson Moore
hot
Elijah Diaz
>away at school for a months >go to see my girlfriend on break >rent a hotel room so we can fuck all weekend >gf on period >dgaf >pound that bloody hole all weekend >blood all over the sheets, soaked through to mattress >I look like a barbarian warrior with blood splattered all over thighs, cock, and hands >great weekend
Daniel Long
>early 2000s, living with girlfriend >she gets sore red patch on butt cheek >hard for her to see to put on ointment so I do it >have her spread butt cheek slightly to reach area >stare at puckered butt hole intently each time >tell her I think patch is getting bigger and spread cream over larger area >get closer to butt hole each day >finally touch finger tip to wrinkled goal >resist urge to push lotion covered finger inside >rash clears up and never get to touch butt hole again
Chase Ross
Told this one before, but I'll happily do it again. >fifteen year old horn-dog >family is vacationing for the weekend >I opt out to stay home and fap >and fap I do, so much that I'm sore >still itching >take my dad's metal safe (the kind with the number pad) >set it so the door is facing upwards >put my nuts in such a way that it was painless >close it >realize I don't know the combination and I don't have the key >spend 50 something hours crouching uncomfortably, weighed down by the heavy safe, not being able to sleep for fear of slipping and castrating myself >sis comes in and finds me >she fucking laughs
Ian Jenkins
niiice
Andrew Wilson
What was the allure of having your sack locked in the safe? I get ball busting but in a safe seems so specific.
Henry Wood
There is no way you can close a safe door with your ball sack inside and having it 'painless'
Noah Kelly
Wait wait wait! You didn't really explain why you locked up your nuts.
Jace Garcia
Im thinking he wanted to keep the family jewels safe.
Aiden Parker
144
Angel Martinez
Not unless you let the door close on the loose, empty part of your sack with your balls wedged inside.
Lucas Sanchez
Why? How?
And why didn't you let it castrate you so you could remove that stupid from the human gene pool?
Juan Gomez
Holy shit, I've heard this one xd
Michael Watson
Ahhhhh now that was a top quality reply brother.
Austin Barnes
I am confused but I also remember the stupid shit I did as a horny 15 yo so I don't need you to explain
Brandon Ortiz
2978?
Julian Reyes
Why didn't you just touch it during sex dude wtf
Jonathan Torres
bully at school threatened to punch him there on monday
Kevin Torres
gg
Adam Morris
It always four digits you safeless nigger
Caleb Butler
Why does anyone do anything? For an adrenaline rush. I'm really into bondage. On the contrary, seeKek'd Fuck off, I was 15.
Adam Martin
daaaaaaaaamn son We has a celebrity here
Elijah Nguyen
I own a pinpad safe, the battery-operated hotel type thing and I call bullshit on the story.
Just how loose would a ballsack have to be? Inhumanly loose, that's how.
Gabriel Hill
Really don't know what to say. They fit in and it was pretty fucking terrible.
Grayson Carter
Howd you pass the time while locked up? Im guessing jerking off in that time was a no no?
Jacob Cox
no way she was letting me anywhere near there
Gavin Harris
The same way a prisoner passes time; recollecting and feeling immense regret for what he's done.
Kevin Edwards
He said here that he is really into bondage If he is shutting his sack in a safe do you really think thats the first time he stretched his scrote?
Connor Foster
I'm also the snail thread guy if anyone was here for that earlier. Guess I'm still as much an idiot now as I was then.
Jeremiah Jones
MOAR
Jayden Perez
At least 20 US states allow sex with animals.
Jose Butler
Snails? Do tell!
Jack Reyes
Christ, once a Sup Forumstard always a Sup Forumstard. If that safe didn't ruin your junk, have my babies.
Christopher Hall
The thread was active just a few hours ago. I found a bunch of snails and had them go through a series or challenges to determine who would live.
Leo Cooper
I burnt the weakest link with a lighter and a can of axe body spray.
Evan Thompson
continuing, here's my makeshift arena
Anthony Kelly
>12 yo >set up tent in backyard >have friend over for sleep over >stay up late bullshitting >wake up early because sun is bright >friend still sleeping >have morning boner >start stroking >shoot load right into sleeping bag >red faced, covered in sweat, inside of bag smells like a greenhouse >realize friend probably heard, smelled everything
not much of a story but its all I got to keep the thread going.
William Foster
i love you
William White
there's no way you actually did that fuckface
Brandon Ross
Reminds me of the time I built a gulag out of twigs and filled it with slugs. Those that escaped by climbing the walls were executed with an air rifle.
Landon Scott
>there's no way you actually did that fuckface
less shitty opinions more perverted stories
Dominic Russell
>catch a catholic sermon to try and pick up some chicks >heard they were into premarital sex >I'm sorely disappointed, they're all old farts >jerk it in the church bathroom >wipe my load with a church activity leaflet >leave it on a church pew >never go back
Henry Harris
> live in small town with some sort of catholic shrine nearby > masturbate with holy lotion bottle up my ass That's all you really needed to say.
Robert White
The lord was in me I guess
Austin Butler
Stop being such a dumb nigger, stranger things have happened Fucking nice mane
Kayden Wilson
>12 yo >sitting on couch watching comedian with older sister >comedian talking about fapping and I decide to try it for the first time >go to bathroom during commercial break and jerk off >orgasm so hard my knees buckle and I can't see >think I am going to have to go to the hospital >recover and return to living room >realize years later that I left my jizz all over the floor >I always wonder what happened to it
Lucas Smith
Ive known 13 year olds that were smarter than that.
You huffed glue or something, right? There's no way someone can naturally be that stupid
Nicholas Cruz
Goat fuckers was projection this whole time
Sebastian Myers
...
Lucas Powell
I don't believe in God or heaven but you're sure as fuck going to hell
Robert Foster
Nope, no glue. It was just a poor decision. We all do stupid shit. Copypasta?
Sebastian Brooks
>get together with current gf >she has a dildo and asks me to use it on her >imokwiththis.jpg >she cums and I keep pounding >stop user! stop! >think she is being shy, keep going >suddenly she pisses everywhere >we both freeze staring at each other >resume pounding while she writhes and pisses more begging me to stop >enjoyed that a lot even if she was mad as hell after
Jason Russell
+100 Internet's good sir
Levi Brown
dubdubs of wut?
Chase Sullivan
Dude I have like 6 inches of empty sac before my nuts. My empty sac part is longer than my penis
Adrian Moore
firsts number 0 do i get a star?
Carter Baker
Kek don't worry about it. I probably should be dead 10 times over from the stupid shit in did in high school. I'm the kinda person I'd tell not to procreate, too, but I already did it so too late.
Ayden Kelly
God bles
Blake Price
Your empty sack part is probably longer than his dick too
Connor Campbell
Sick one, micro-peen.
Lincoln Phillips
This is my fetish Show dick
Easton Cox
I didn't know the Amazing Atheist used Sup Forums kek
Adam Young
...
Jaxon Clark
Will you please take a pic of snails on your dick? Asking for a friend
Grayson Martinez
Already put them back sry, otherwise I would.
Nicholas Martin
underrated, I did something similar when I was 16
Daniel Foster
What was the combo you asshole??
Evan Cox
did your sister touch your cock?
Jose Collins
>Work for landscaping company over summer >Boss is a total bro >Has gf that is hot in a chain smoking MILF sort of way >She wears loose tank tops often and no bra >Get a few glimpses of her hangers by sneaking looks down her front >Usually end day at building where equipment is stored >Small bathroom upstairs at top of steps >For some reason tiny window in there looking down on rest of warehouse >Lock bathroom door and peek out at MILF smoking and sauntering around with hand on her hip while fapping >Shoot load against wall moaning her name softly >Want to die of shame once I came to my senses
Sebastian Smith
S...seeing as you are helpless senpai...
Jose King
The epitome of Sup Forums, and no, she just told me the combo Fuck, I don't remember. Maybe it had a 7 in it?
Jaxon Bell
you had me at smoking user
Jose Foster
Oh shit Sup Forums do i have some fucking stories for you.
>be me >in high school >me and gf finally have a class together >chemistry with big tables that you can't see under >the plot thickens >me and her sit at back corner of class away from everyone else >we were both very horny teenagers
>Sit in class and start to take notes. everyone is paying very close attention since it was Honors Chemistry >Sit close to my gf and its not questioned and she loved to cuddle up to my arm >we are the only two at our table >I put my arm on her leg and asks her if she wants to have some fun >She replies with a nod. she's knows all to well what that means >move my hand up and sneakily unbutton her pants. >tables are tall and you can't see under them so no one else could possibly know. >slide my hand down pants >commence fingering. >start slowly making sure she is comfortable. >see the looks of immense pleasure on her face >this is gonna be fun >pick up the speed and add another finger to the mix >she starts whimpering and I look over to her to her. just a stare of "you have to be quiet" >I decide to see what happens and i spread my fingers apart >her breath hitches and she look scared so I stopped >"Did i say to stop" >Fine with me >continue fingering her while she cuddles up to me and starts rubbing my dick. >Class is almost over so i pull my hand out. >pull a napkin from my bag and clean my fingers and she buttons up >we leave to come back to that class tomorrow >mfw this happened almost every class and we had the class all year
It only gets crazier from there though. Let me know if you're interested and I'll post more. I have a shit ton to tell. And no. We never got caught
Eli Wood
I think my fiance is developing a piss fetish. We tend to fuck almost every weekend, and lately every time we have sex she mentions how close she was to pissing herself in the afterglow. >Mfw I'm dating a huge-titted nymphomaniac with a dominant mommy fetish and is slowly growing more depraved by the day
Camden Nguyen
>having bath as kid >just started jerking a few months earlier >heard something at school about anal sex feeling good >try to put hair brush handle up ass >tootight.png >lube up with hair conditioner >get tip in >lay on back in tub, legs over head, brush in ass, jerking off >Decide to tell that story to a gf years later for some fucking reason >Still feel shame at her look of disgust
Justin Sanchez
show those milk makers!
Kevin Cook
I think you're full of shit
Hunter Rodriguez
Ah what the hell. I don't have much but here's one of the better ones
Nathaniel Miller
Smoking fetish user?
Austin Jones
Continue
Jacob Bell
My gf is similar in that she almost always brings up that she is going to pee herself before she orgasms. Never considered she might have a piss fetish. Food for thought
Lincoln Lopez
she squirted, you simpleton
Henry Wood
niiiice, ever get to put your dick between those pillows?
Xavier Garcia
yeah but only when the other user is at work!
Mason King
Well, she really did piss herself as the smell and color confirmed but if you are pointing out that squirting is actually just piss instead of some mythical female fluid from a magic hole then yeah you're right
Nicholas Sullivan
Oh hush you Yes user, that's usually my favorite way to finish
Jason Powell
And yet science tells us that female ejaculate sometimes contains piss and some times doesn't.
Adam Cox
> Yes user, that's usually my favorite way to finish
Titty fucking has never been my thing but the one time I did come between my gfs tits it was pretty nice. Just not something I want to do every time.
Cooper Gray
Educate yourself, young un. It's called Skene's gland. Google that shit. But yeah, there's some urine mixed in there, too.
Caleb Reyes
citation needed
Brayden Russell
I used to do shit like this with my first girlfriend back in the 8th grade. I have tons of stories about hooking up at school and getting right dirty if anyones interested
Luis Scott
I love titjobs, but thighjobs are also amazing. Her favorite way to finish is usually with her on top teasing me until she orders me to "cum for momma" and that's all it usually takes.
Aiden Martinez
you mean like basic high school sex ed class? JFC, what rock are you kids living under?
Parker Cox
The "female ejaculate == piss" myth is something Sup Forums has been passing around for a few years now. It's one of those "we're smarter then anyone else" things. It is of course wrong.