Pls help

Pls help
How do I get my roommate to move out

Shit on the bathroom floor and when he eventually and inevitably cleans it up do it again until he moves out.

masturbate over everything, on everything, all the time and do it loudly.

Problem solved.

Unless you're the landlord, it's probably best if you start looking for a new place to live.

their name is not on the lease but mine is, I also paid a security deposit and they did not

Leave shit in the toilet. Don't flush it.
Shit in the tank behind the toilet. So when he flushes it still ain't flushed.
Walk around naked.
Invite random people over that look like hobos at 3am on days they have to work.
Don't wash any dishes.
Give them Bill money in singles or rolls of coins.
Invite your rowdiest family over, late at night.

they already got shit on the bathroom floor

Put up cctv cameras everywhere. Theyndont have to be plugged in or even work but that shit sketches some people out. If they ask you what the deal is tell them you're working on a pilot episode for a reality tv show.

Date his mom, then fuck her at your place. Bonus points if you do it on his bed

Find out what music they hate and exclusively listen to it. All the time. While you're sleeping. In the shower. All the time. Become the music. If it's country become its embodiment. Buy cowboy boots. Western style hats. Assless leather chaps. Buy a real horse.

Buy tap dancing shoes. Wear them all the time. Tell them you're auditioning for a play and need to practice.

Well, I don't have to tell you the legal ramifications of doing that. You have no recourse to the law in this matter. Just give him some form of a gentleman's notice and get him to leave on good terms. You're going to have to sack up and be straight with him. Damaging anything to deter him to stay puts you in the red. Insulting or forcing him may cause him to wilfully fuck your shit up, with the burden of responsibility on you.
Either way, talk to him and come to some form of agreement where he goes in a time frame, but isn't left out on the street (not that you care at this stage, but he more than likely will, so it's best to sympathise).

then just kick them out lol

They can't be just kicked out if they've been living there for a certain period of time I think

Annnd this is how you get punched, repeatedly, not how to get someone to move out. Though I guess since OP is too big a pussy to just tell them to get out (there is no lease or contract) this might actually work. OP get them to beat the shit out of you, have them arrested, and then get an order of protection before they are released. They wont be able to enter the home again (for roughly 1-2 months until a court date that may or may not extend the order) For them to get their shit out, they would need to be escorted by a Sheriffs officer and they would not be able to speak to you while moving their shit

Sleep with his girlfriend

Try to engage them in homosexual relations.
If it works you get laid
If it doesn't they get weirded out and will eventually leave.

Or c he just takes it as a compliment and moves on. Then what?

Up the rent on them and if they don't pay file for eviction. Or tell them you're moving out by end of the month and you need them gone before then so you don't get caught breaking the lease.

Without a lease or contract all you have to do is give them 10 days notice in most states, 30 days notice in others. So no, you cant just tell them "get your shit and get out right now" you tell them "you and your shit need to be out by 8/19 at 9am" in a nicely notarized letter (get this done at post office for 4.99) If they are still there at 10am on the 19th, call the police and have them removed from the property.

stand over him and watch him sleep, make subtle noises an abrupt movements until he wakes up and tell him you were just making sure the air pressure wasn't different in his room and ask if you can sleep on the floor.

>Annnd this is how you get punched, repeatedly,


Lookout everyone, internet tough guy has entered the thread!
Probably just got done sucking at least three nigger dicks and is all full of extra testosterone.

Tell him you're in love with him and you can't sleep or eat without seeing his face. Build a shrine to him in your room. Let him see it. Change your face book profile picture to his face.

that was my initial plan to just tell him its time to find a place of his own, I just wasn't sure if there was any legal actions he could take. I did do some google research and it looks like the odds are in my favor I just don't want him trying to pay a security deposit or trying to get his name on the lease after I ask him in a civil manor to leave

its been 6 months

Or im just not a complete and total pussy that is going to sit quietly while you purposely fuck with me

...

that sounds excessive

This is the dumbest plan ever, troll harder.

He uses castle doctrine to shoot the invader in his room. Good job, you're dead and he still lives in you home.

Only intelligent and legal answer.

He has no legal recourse on that matter, nor would he be entitled to be co-tenant or co-signer on the lease, not without authorisation of the agent/landlord, and yourself.
Presumably he just pays you cash weekly or fortnightly to you?
Just have a talk with him and implement a timeframe.

In my state it's 30 days

Change the locks

You are right. It is extreme. The normal functioning way to handle this would be to give him a notarized letter stating the date and time he needs to be out of the building (templates all over the internet) but OP most likely isnt doing that because he is a slimey little weasel that is afraid of confrontation. My "plan" is about the only way for OP to get someone else to make the guy move, and after you have an order of protection, OP doesnt have to worry about confrontation even while the guy is moving his stuff out

There you go. Now just get a template from the internet, print 2 copies of the letter, take it to the post office, have it notarized, and give it to him. Problem solved

Well I'll say this for you, for a guy who sucks copious nigger dicks on a daily basis you sure show some balls.
For a faggot that is.

thank you user

Tell him to move out. If he's not on the lease, change the locks and put his stuff outside.

Says the guy posting in a thread where it was suggested to shit on the floor, masturbate on the guys belongings, and make him think he is being filmed all the time...

Did this guy do anything excessive or are you just tired of living with him?

Buy him his favorite alcohol in a large quantity. Get him passed out drunk. Pay local homeless men $5, a pouch of Top, and a bottle of MD 20/20 to rape him. Superglue his asshole shut with hobo HIV cum inside. Video tape for future keks.

good shit, 3030 ain't bad either mate

yes, he gives me cash for rent and bills.
thank you for your wisdom

and who said I suggested any of those things?

I'll bet you make a lot of presumptions.

he originally lived with his mom but she got evicted and had no where to go, I told him he could live with me for a while but I think he is getting too comfortable and has forgotten this was not a permanent arrangement. Also he is a slob and as I pointed out earlier has literally gotten human shit on the bathroom floor before

You're welcome user. You've got this handled; I am certain. Have a sit-down with him and discuss the fact it was never a permanent arrangement, and things are now coming to an end.

You can always google your city or state's rental laws regarding eviction notices, but because you're just helping out a friend and the agreement was legally "under the table", a simple 28-day timeframe should be sufficient.

Don't bother with his laziness or bad hygiene practices. The agreement between you two was a temporary one, and that's what should be emphasised and enforced. Telling him he literally leaves shit everywhere will sully your friendship. Even slobs have a hard time accepting they're labelled slobs.

nice devil trips, I have been quite kind when dealing with his lack of cleanliness I just prefer to live alone and its time he finds his own apartment to put his shit all over